After some time, Osmond feels the urge to pee and gets up.
"Where are you going?"
"Bathroom."
"Oh, okay."
Osmond goes to the bathroom, does his business and washes his hands. He goes back to his room, wipes them on his towel, then checks the time on his phone.
"Maybe we should start making dinner."
"How about you eat me up, and I eat you up?"
"No, geez, get your mind out of the gutter."
"I bet I taste delicious."
"Have you tried your… You know?"
"Can't say I have. How about you?"
"Let's go make dinner."
Osmond heads to the kitchen, Natalie gets out of bed and starts following him.
"Wait, you tasted your own stuff?"
"I was thinking of making something with a mushroom and cream sauce, but since I can't use pasta, and we already ate rice recently, I can't think of what to do with it."
"How about eating your own cum again, you cumslut."
"Don't be mean. Besides, I never said I ate my own cum."
"Well, did you?"
"That's a secret I'm not willing to share yet."
"I bet you did."
"Who knows? Now about dinner..."
"We still have some bread left."
"Mushroom sauce with bread?"
"Cum on toasted bread, with cinnamon and sugar."
"Toasted bread, huh… Then how about some creamy, sauteed oyster mushrooms on toast?"
"Sounds good."
"Okay, go wash your hands."
Natalie washes her hands and they get started. Osmond sets the oven to 175°C/350°F, then slices up some bread. Natalie puts heavy cream, oyster mushrooms and butter on the counter, and puts the frying pan on the stove.
"You take care of the bread, I'll do the rest."
"Why do you always do the main thing while I just help out?"
"Because I cook better than you."
"Yeah, but how am I supposed to improve if you always do most of the work?"
"Do you wanna cook dinner this time?"
"Yeah, and it'll be way better than anything you ever made."
"It won't, but go ahead."
Natalie quickly washes the saucepan Osmond used for lunch. She boils some water in an electric kettle, washes the mushrooms and blanches them in the saucepan, then drains them in a colander and cools them with tap water. She turns the stove on, pours a bit of pumpkin seed oil into the frying pan, gets parsley out of the freezer and chops it finely, then chops the mushrooms and adds them to the frying pan.
"Osmond, you take care of the bread, okay?"
"Yeah."
Osmond takes an oven tray and puts some baking paper on it, then spreads butter over the bread and arranges it into sandwiches on the baking tray, then puts the tray in the oven.
"Done."
"You can sit down now."
After sauteing the mushrooms for a while, she adds some heavy cream, salt and parsley, and stirs everything together. The whole thing turns creamy green.
"I gotta flip the bread."
"This is just about done as well."
"Thicken it up a bit."
"Won't it curdle?"
"It won't, there's no acid in there."
"Okay."
Natalie moves aside, Osmond pulls out the baking tray and puts it on the counter, then carefully flips the bread without separating the slices from each other, then puts it back in the oven.
After a few more minutes, the bread finishes toasting and the sauce thickens. Osmond pulls the bread out again and separates the slices. The outsides are crispy and the insides soft, steamy and buttery. He turns the oven off and distributes the toast onto two plates. Natalie turns the stove off and puts some mushroom sauce on each slice, making sure nothing spills over. She puts the frying pan back on the stove.
"We..."
"We offer this food to God, Om Tat Sat. Thank you, God, for this food." -They say in unison.
"It's still a bit too hot to eat."
"Yeah."
They stare at the food in silence for a while, then look at each other.
"What did it taste like?"
"What did what taste like?"
"Your cum."
"Not this again..."
"I bet it tasted like watered down fruit jelly and mayo."
"Gross."
"Or like skimmed milk and snot."
"Stop it, we're about to start eating."
"Tell me what it tasted like."
"I can't tell you if I haven't tasted it."
"But you did, didn't you?"
"That's a secret."
"You wouldn't keep it a secret if you didn't taste it, therefore you did."
"What if I'm just messing with you?"
"Hmm…"
"Let's start eating, the food's probably cooled down already."
"No way it's gonna cool down that fast."
"I'm starting anyways."
Osmond takes a bite.
"Is it hot?"
"If ovwayf."
Natalie starts eating as well.
"Don't feed me this time."
"I won't, it's a bit too risky for that. By the way, how is it?"
"It's alright."
"Better than yours?"
"I don't know. I'm not sure if the parsley is all that necessary."
"It's fine, I didn't put much of it in."
"I think the pumpkin seed oil is a nice touch, though."
"Yeah, it goes really well with mushrooms."
"I'd probably use butter, but this is definitely better."
"So all-in-all, I'm way better at cooking than you, right?"
"No way."
"Yes way."
"Do you wanna cook all the food from now on?"
"No way."
"How come? Didn't you say you were way better at cooking than I am?"
"Yeah, but how are you supposed to improve if I always do the cooking?"
"Hahahah, you got me there."
"You cheered up."
"Hah, yeah, I guess I did."
"Yay!"
Natalie gets up and briefly hugs Osmond.
"I think a smiling Ozzy is a handsome Ozzy."
"Are you saying I'm ugly otherwise?"
She goes back to her seat.
"You're always handsome, but your smile makes my ovaries explode."
"Then I guess I should smile less. I don't want you to get hurt, after all."
"Don't you dare. By the way, I'm gonna smooch the heavens out of you when we finish eating."
"Yeah, whatever."
"Aren't you looking forward to it?"
"Why would I? It's sensual pleasure, it has a beginning and an end. If I get attached to something like that, my mind would be occupied wishing it was here whenever it isn't, and I would suffer if I can't get it."
"Don't tell me you don't enjoy me kissing you."
"Boy, did I step on a landmine just now."
"You did. Now tell me, do you like it when I kiss you?"
"Umm… I feel pleasure when you kiss me, is that good enough?"
"You pass. But now that you mention it, I do think I got a little bit addicted to making out with you."
"Next time do it mindfully, and mindfully notice any impulses and desires to kiss me you get throughout the day.
"I'm not a newbie, Oz, stop treating me like one."
"Then discipline yourself better. I wouldn't tell you this if I didn't get a chance to."
"Whatever. I'm still smooching you up, though."
"I won't resist."
They finish eating in silence and put the dishes in the sink. Natalie leads Osmond to the couch, makes him sit, then sits in his lap, facing him. She wraps her arms around his neck and comes closer. Osmond stares at her with a blank expression. She moves back a bit.
"Oz, does it bother you when I kiss you?"
"It used to, but I stopped caring about it."
"Do you want me to stop kissing you?"
"It's your choice, I'll be fine either way."
"Geez, why are you like this?!"
"Like what?"
"You're so stoic and lifeless, like you wouldn't care even if I punched you or fucked you or anything!"
"I'm supposed to be dispassionate, unshaken by anything, indifferent towards pleasure and pain, gain and loss, or anything else. I don't want to be bound by sensuality or passion, because even though they may taste sweet at first, they only bring suffering."
"I know, but I wanna… I want you to… I want you to like me. I want you to like doing stuff with me, I want you to like kissing me, hugging me, touching me and all those other things couples do."
"Natalie, detachment doesn't mean numbness. I still feel pleasure when we kiss, and I love you nonetheless. It just means that I don't care whether pleasure comes or goes, since I'm not attached to it, and that I won't let it disturb my mind."
"Then what about pasta?"
"I gave it up for you."
"But those expressions you made, you looked like you really, really enjoyed eating it!"
"So what if I did?"
"Why don't you enjoy kissing ME?! Why don't you make those expressions with ME?! Why does pasta give you more pleasure than ME?!"
"I. Renounced. It. I won't eat pasta anymore, for your sake. So stop giving me a hard time about it, since I chose you over pasta. Besides, the entire fetish is a mystery. I told you a theory on why it could've formed, but there's no way we can know if it's true. Maybe some entity, or even the Overseer himself inserted it into my head, who knows? Don't ask me questions I can't answer."
"I just want you to love me."
"I love you, I love you a lot, I love you so much, I want to spend my life with you. But the pasta thing is still obviously a problem, and until it gets solved, we won't start dating."
"Freaking pasta."
"Natalie."
"Have sex with me."
"No, I told you I won't do it until we start dating."
"Then date me already!!!"
Osmond moves back.
"You say we won't fuck until we date, but then you say we won't date until this pasta fucking piece of shit fetish gets resolved! So what are we supposed to do?! How are you gonna get rid of that thing?! How?! God knows what made it show up in the first place, and it obviously makes you feel way better than I ever could, so how can I even compete?! What am I supposed to do?! Ever since I found out about it, I've been praying to God to make it go away, but look! It's still fucking here! And now, not only is it stopping us from dating, it's also stopping me from getting your cock! I have urges too, you know?! I thought, maybe if I fucked you, you'd make the kinds of faces you'd make when you're eating pasta, but boy, I guess that's never gonna happen now, will it?! And even if I did fuck your brains out, pasta would still probably win! Why don't you just marry it, then?! I bet it could give you a far more fulfilling life than I ever could!"
"Natalie, shut up! It's not my damn fault I have this fucking fetish, and even though I do, I gave it fucking up already for fucking fuck's sake! Do I have to write it on my forehead so you get it already?! And I already said, I want YOU! I don't want pasta, I want YOU! I want to spend my life with YOU, not pasta, YOU, YOU, YOU, fucking YOU for heaven's sake! But if I start dating you now, then this pasta thing will start getting in between us and we'll start fighting like we already are right now! Besides, this pasta fetish you hate so much pushed you over the edge to confess your, until then, unrequited love to me, and now we're already kissing and stuff, and I'm just about ready to start dating you. If you ask me, I think it's God's Will that I got this pasta fetish in the first place, and that God's Will will get rid of it, because God obviously wants us to be together.
Remember how we first met? We were both in high school, both on our way out at the same time, and both chanting the same mantra. I asked you if you were mocking me, and you said you weren't, you were chanting to summon the Goddess so She grants you your wish. I said I also wanted Her to grant me my wish, and since the Lotus-Born had taught me that magic works better with more people, I asked you if you wanted to try chanting with me. We exchanged numbers, and every day after school we'd go to your place to chant for three hours and do homework and stuff in the meantime. Then one day, She finally showed up in front of us, and do you remember what She said? She said we were very lucky to have found each other, for not only are we both strivers on the path and students of the occult, but we were also very compatible with each other, so we should stay together from then on because such friends are very rare to find. After that, She granted us both our wishes, and even each other's wishes; lifelong protection from all malicious entities and spells, and protection of concentration and all virtues except chastity, so they never fall back. We prostrated ourselves in front of Her and thanked Her, and when we got back up, She was already gone.
Do you understand what I'm saying? We're meant to be together, and this pasta fetish can't be a malicious spell, since we're both protected from those. I think the right time for us to start dating is when this pasta fetish goes away, because then it will finish serving its purpose. So please, Natalie, please, just wait a little bit longer. We're almost there, Natalie, and when I'm ready to do it with you, we'll do it lots and lots."
Osmond wipes her tears, as well as his own.
"Yeah. I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry I'm so impatient, and hotheaded, and horny and all that. I won't force you to have sex with me anymore. When you decide you're ready, then you bring it up. Until then, I'll just have to make do with what I have now. I just hope we'll start dating soon."
"We will, I promise. I already have something in mind."
"What is it?"
"It's a secret. I'll tell you if it works."
"You're so secretive."
"Now give me a kiss, please."
"You really want to kiss? You don't think it's transient sensory pleasure or whatever?"
"There's nothing wrong with pleasure, Natalie. It's the attachment that binds."
"I get it."
Natalie moves in closer, and they kiss.