As I looked through all the calls and text messages that Mercia sent me, I had a strong desire to call her back attempting to explain myself. I wanted to let her know that I was working, which she already knew. In these last few weeks, Mercia and I have grown closer, not to the point of hanging out or anything but whenever id drive by her house she'd be out, and we'd talk. It was either that or she'd text or call me whenever she was bored. I couldn't tell you what our relationship was, but it feels as though we're stuck at the border between dating and close friends.
I can't tell if it's because of all the pain I've been in recently but I haven't been in the mood to do much of anything with her.
But even though I found her goofy personality to be a breath of fresh air and her slim body to be beautiful and amazing there was an even stronger, more alluring desire inside of me. A desire to explore and understand more about qi and its limits. But before all of that I had to get myself cleaned up, I did still have sweat all over me, which produced a completely unbelievable foul smell practically attacking my nose ripping it to shreds.
After noticing the foul smell, I realized that my senses had been greatly improved. I could hear a group of birds flapping their wings just 100 yards away producing such an annoying sound nearly driving me crazy. The sudden realization that I had super senses startled me, I felt exhilarated by the suddenness of my new abilities. But this new discovery dug an even deeper pit for me. All that I didn't know about qi increased and so did my curiosity.
Like always when I discovered something new about qi I tested them out while walking towards the bathroom. I started with my arms, note to all those who recently discovered they have qi just staring at a part of your body does nothing I sadly tried. After such a flop, I began focusing on gaining some kind of connection to my qi. Deeming that to be the best way to properly utilize qi.
The process wasn't long, but it required a single-minded concentration so focused that it felt as though my mind left my body and was instead placed in some limbo state, in which all I could feel was qi. This new feeling was something I don't believe I'll ever manage to get used to. it took me just about 1 minute to connect with my qi all other thoughts left my mind, leaving the innards of my conciseness barren and desert-like devoid of my thoughts. "It's as though I knew nothing but qi," I said while I focused on moving the qi in my body from all over my body to my right arm.
The sudden feeling of coldness had enveloped my body the cause was the fact that I in a way removed the covers from my body leaving it exposed to the cold chill of the night, to be bitten at by ferial demons made of thin ice dripping wet. This feeling was discomforting but I knew I had to push the boundaries of my comfort zone.
The qi that I was filling my right arm started to feel as though it would soon expand beyond the confines of my arm. The feeling was like a heartbeat growing larger with every beat as though it were a timer alarming you to the impending explosion soon to take place.
The feeling was terrifying, "I'm going to lose my arm" I screamed out in my head. Sweat beating down my face, getting into my eyes unable to wipe the sweat entering my eyes away I was forced to contend with the sting, left to feel that and the light sprinkles of piss traveling down my shaking noodle-like legs, staining my work pants. All of this was accompanied by a heartbeat so loud you'd think it was crying out for help. "This was a mistake. Pleases don't take my arm" I thought to try to plead with the qi in my body.
After some time, I managed to stop the influx of qi to my arm now I was just trying to relieve my arm of this mass of qi. after stopping any more qi from entering my arm. A slight sinister smirk appeared on my face stained with tears. A sudden idea came to my mind an idea that would be deemed insane to almost any sane person.
Moments like these are the reasons why I hate myself. Even with my mind swarming with endless thoughts of losing an arm through a very gruesome means and growing pain in my arm from the large amount of it in it I still couldn't bring myself to back down. "I won't be controlled; I won't be bested" I screamed out attempting to mimic a warrior's yell. Filled with pride and an unwavering will.
This is it I thought, I've cast a spell over myself like always. The thought that came to my mind was an idea that would solve my offensive problem. I had an idea to take all the qi swelling up in my arm and release it as a condensed qi blast. This would require that I mold the qi into a ball-like shape as soon as it released from my arm and take the qi that just left my arm and propel it at a speed nearing that of a bullet or faster.
I realized two things immediately with this idea the first was to not limit myself, I had no point of reference, but I guessed I had a workable amount of qi inside my arm at this moment. The second was to not second guess myself.
With both of these ideas in mind, I began thinking of a means of releasing the qi in my arm, the first was the easiest. All I did was picture a sphere all that it required was a larger sphere than I normally made. I concentrated on the center of the qi ball. deciding that it needed a strong solid form. This took just about 10 minutes. With this process done I moved on to trying to move it forward. I began focusing on the qi moving slowly in a straight path..... "What's going on?" I thought while starring at the large ball of qi in my hand. "You've got to be kidding me" I yelled out. Just now realizing the problem I had with the plant I molded is the same problem I'm having now.
After some time of trying to move it I was stumped, I'm guessing that to move or for lack of a better word "manipulate" qi I need to be a manipulator. This all came as a shocking realization to me just how serious these divisions are. To manipulate qi in any way I need to be a manipulator, which leaves me to believe that while qi molding is all about changing the shape of qi, manipulation is all about changing the characteristics of qi.
The qi that id gathered in my arm was now a big ball of useless qi floating just above my palm, I waited for just about 30 minutes for it to fizzle out. I did this to find out how long a qi mold of that size and shape could maintain its size and shape. "30 minutes huh good I guess," I said slightly unbothered by my failure to manipulate qi.
It took me forever to get naked and into the shower. I stopped what felt like every second to look at the qi that covered arm as though It were a blanket made of soft cotton clouds. I wanted to understand every aspect of it, "why does it flow ever so lightly as though there was a wind carrying it." I thought while stepping into the shower. "Does it mean that I have some affinity with wind?" I thought while cleaning my self up. The shower allowed me to think of all kinds of new molds I could try. "Maybe just make a simple baseball bat or maybe a sword," I thought. "Wait would molding a sharp sword requires qi manipulation?" I wondered.
This experiment lead me to a new theory. Most people who have qi are most likely just qi molders. I came to this realization because it's the simplest form of qi to understand, if you have qi then all you need to do is mold it into a shape, it requires little to no work. Since I practically live alone my showers now normally range from 30 minutes to an hour. I managed to convince my father to help me pay to have a shower built by offering to not only pay half but also work more hours and take on more tutoring hours.
"The sacrifice was worth it," I said to myself while getting out of the shower.
When I left the shower all I did was put on my boxers and grab a mop and cleaned up the floor. After that I went straight to the book [core creation for idiots] I went to the information about qi manipulation, there wasn't much seeing as this book was just about core creation.
But what it has done is proved my theory right, "If you have managed to sense qi and now wish to embrace the path of the martial artist then I present you the qi manipulation stage. This stage deals with conceiving means to which your qi functions, the lesson I leave you with is with qi its best to be a master of one than a jack of all trades"
"It's better to be a master of one than a jack of all trades" I'm guessing that is a warning against attempting to vaguely assign qi functions. It seems from this quote that qi molding is similar to qi manipulation as both do not properly work with vague notions. "Is that why I failed?" I thought. But even though this is helpful it doesn't help me figure out how to exactly manipulate qi. all it says is that qi manipulation is the stage that deals with conceiving means to which qi functions.
After failing to find anything in the book, I started messing around with qi molding. In the few hours since I awoke qi I've gotten pretty good at molding, in just slightly under an hour after putting down the book I've managed to create 30 flower pots with each have about a dozen flowers of various shape and sizes each carrying my signature long thin ragged edge to them in them, along with a replica of [core creation for idiots] with the same amount of pages as well.
"What if I could make this book into some kind of ability holder," I thought while twirling it on my finger. Honestly, my growth was staggering it felt as though with every interaction I had with qi I gain more understanding and affinity with it.
What once took me hours to create now just takes a few seconds. "Damn it" I screamed out am I missing something? is there a special function of qi molding that I'm just not understanding? I won't say qi molding became boring to me but just knowing that there was more out there made my heart start racing faster and faster giving me the feeling I was missing out on so much of the world. "I want more,"
I said in a cold unfeeling voice as I started thinking about more qi.
The feeling of pours appearing all over my body absorbing all the qi in the air made me feel charged up beyond anything I could explain. The feeling only lasted a few seconds, but I felt as though I became more powerful as though the qi in my body doubled.