I walked back to my room with a dry throat from suppressing my tears, frustration, and anger.
I even pushed Justif away when he offered to walk me back to my room earlier.
I am so disappointed with Aiven. How can he say those words to me? He doesn't know me.
I am so stupid for thinking he's like my brother.
When I reached my room, I locked the door and jumped to bed, covered my face with a pillow and screamed.
After I said that the Prince can live without me. Since he has a lot of ladies to entertain him, Aiven's gaze turned cold.
He went silent for a while so did I, since he called me, I don't know what else he needed and he didn't ask me to leave.
After a while, a maid prepared us desserts.
Aiven's eyes were looking sharp while his brows are furrowed as he takes a bite of a piece of cake.
I was humming while taking a bite but Aiven jolted me when he put down his cup of tea on the table loudly.
"Miss, are you perhaps ignorant about your inconsideration?" He asked with a cold voice.
I wrinkled my forehead while my breathing stops from the shock.
"I hate to say this but, since you've already spoken about how you perceive the Prince, then, I as the Kingdom's Village Captain can say that you are outrageously selfish."
My eyes widened with the hurtful words Aiven said.
I thought he's nice, then why is he telling me this?
"Excuse me? We're fine earlier, Aiven. If you're angry because I asked you to let me stay here, then you shouldn't have said yes."
I put down my fork and took a sip of my green tea. My throat's starting to feel like there's a lump stuck.
"Amy, I let you stay here because I don't want to push someone to stay in some place they don't like, but that doesn't mean we're fine, just as how you describe our relationship. I'm just a person who's thankful for the lady who didn't leave my brother alone, but aside from that, I am the village captain."
I stood up without looking at him. I can feel my heart about to burst with anger while my eyes are beginning to feel hot and watery.
"How dare you say that I'm inconsiderate and selfish?" I asked while clenching my fist as I stare down on the tiled floor, "You don't know me." I whispered.
"Of course, I don't know you. I just know your name, that's all. But based on your actions, I think it is safe for me to say those words."
I heard his chair get pushed, then I saw Aiven's black leather shoes beside me.
"I know Prince Forest. If you didn't like to stay in the mansion or be a bride candidate, then he wouldn't force you to stay, but instead, you chose to run away, leaving everyone in the mansion, especially the Prince, with worries and fears."
I wanted to run away, but I can feel his gaze over me. And I can see that his low stare is making me stay in my position.
"When you said that the Prince has a lot of ladies to entertain him, are you talking about the bride candidates? Don't you know how serious choosing a future queen is?"
Aiven slowly walked around me with his footsteps echoing around his office, then he stops beside me again.
"I am deeply sorry for the Prince for receiving a bride candidate who doesn't know what's at stake in choosing his partner."
I'm getting tired and enraged with his words, I raised my head and stared at Aiven's crimson red eyes.
He's looking down at me in the corner of his eyes with a look that is greatly annoying me.
"You don't know anything, Aiven. All I said was I don't want to stay in the mansion, how can you say that to me?"
I clenched my fist tighter as my hand begins to shake. But he just snorted and turned his back against me.
"I work for the kingdom, that means I know what's happening in the castle, and most especially, about the hottest topic in the kingdom - the bride candidates. Amy, have you ever thought about the people around you - those who may or may not be close to you? Have you ever wondered if your decisions affect them?"
My eyes are starting to narrow from anger while staring at Aiven's back as he walked toward the bookshelf.
"I live by myself. I don't have anyone around me that I can consider as a close friend. And I always choose the choices that don't concern anyone else."
I answered him with a strong voice. I don't want him to notice that I am deeply offended right now.
"Are you sure? As humans say, no man is an island." He turned around while looking at his watch, "It's time for me to get back to work, so why don't you go back to your room and reflect on my honest and factual opinion about you, Amy?" He said with a straight face.
I didn't say anything else and just left his office with my gaze on the floor.
And now here I am, screaming on the top of my lungs with a pillow on my face.
I heard a soft knock on the door, then Justif spoke, "Miss, if you need anything, just tell us. The master can sometimes be severe in words, but I am sure that he's doing it for you."
I groaned on how every servant in this world upraises their masters even though they've hurt someone.
I rolled in bed and pulled the blanket over me, then I remembered the maids.
I wonder what they might be doing now.
Is Lulu serving breakfast to another bride? How about Lala and Lili, are they energetically cheering another person?
What about the Prince?
If he's not talking to another bride, is he working again? I wonder if he's upset, worried or angry. Or maybe he doesn't really care and they're just telling everyone that he cares about my disappearance.
I can feel my whole body losing the stress I had as I relax on the bed.
Why am I inconsiderate and selfish? Everyone will be perfectly fine without me.
It's my choice to run away, and if anything happens to me, it's my fault, and no one else's.
I'm not inconsiderate. I'm not selfish.
I'm not.
As I try to console myself, I didn't know I already fell asleep.
I woke up late in the afternoon when the sun's about to take its rest, and let the moon have it's time to shine over the dark sky.
The moment I opened my eyes, I felt a familiar feeling.
It's the same when I didn't want to meet the Prince, but right now, I don't want to see Aiven.
But chills run down my spine as my muscles got tensed up when I heard someone spoke in the shadows, then I saw Aiven walking towards me.
The door was slightly closed and I can see Justif waiting outside.
"You're awake," Aiven said then he pulled a chair and placed it beside the bed then he sat down and crossed his leg.
I moved a bit far from him while looking away, "Yeah. I was tired earlier."
"I know."
I heard him sighed, an exhausted sigh, which made me take a glance at him.
His blood-colored eyes were staring in the window, watching some birds flew by.
"Have you thought about what I said?"
I was in awe of his beauty, especially his white hair that perfectly reflects the light as if it's dyed in the sunset.
I wasn't able to hear what he said because of his beauty. I can't comprehend how this guy got me so angry earlier, but while looking at him now, I feel so calm, as if I wasn't offended.
"Amy," he called then I snapped.
I shook my head and raised both my brows at him, "Yeah?"
"Have you reflected on my words? What do you think? Am I right or am I right that you're inconsiderate and selfish?"
You know what, I don't feel calm now. No.
I took a deep breath then I looked away from him, "No. I am NOT inconsi---"
"Do you even understand why I said that?" He said with irritation in his voice.
I threw a pillow on his face then I stood from the bed, "I AM NOT INCONSIDERATE, AIVEN!" I screamed while my tears started to stream down from my face. "I don't get it, why are you being mean?"
Aiven took a deep breath but he didn't move from his seat, "Amy, I said that because first, you run away. Second, you are assuming things about the Prince. Third, you're not accepting a privilege they gave you, every lady in this village wants to be a bride candidate. And lastly, you're thinking no one cares about you, and you think you can handle things alone."
"But I don't want to be a bride candidate," I told him while staring at my bare feet.
"Then you should've told the Prince instead of running away."
I froze after he said that.
That's true, but I didn't run away because of that.
He already asked me if I want to go back and I said no, because of everyone and also, because of him.
"Why don't you talk, Amy? Tell me what's in your head."
I raised my head and looked at Aiven who's just waiting on his seat.
"Communication is the key, don't you know that? If you want something, talk. If you're uncertain, talk. If you're scared, talk. You don't have to keep everything to yourself, because you're not only making everything hard for yourself, but to everyone around you too."
I really can't understand why Aiven's like this. I snorted with a smile while thinking that he's really like a big brother. One minute, he's being mean, and now he's giving me advice.
"So, why don't you speak, Amy?"
I looked at him with a smile then I sat back to the bed and faced him, "I like the Prince. I feel lost in this world. I hate my father. I want to have friends. I feel so alone. I wish I can watch a lot of anime at once. I want to have strong powers. And I wish my hair will not grow any longer."
Aiven let out a soft laugh after I said the things I always had in mind.
"What?" I asked while my face grew hot and red.
"That is not what I expected and needed to hear, and I don't understand what an anime is." He pushed his back to the chair and sat comfortably, "Anyway, why don't we start with your confession about your adoration with the Prince?"