The next day I showed up to school late, having woken up nearly at the end of the school day.
When I walked into the school, it looked as if the classes were over. I guess I overslept again.
I made my way to the roof, where I was the first one to arrive. I sat down, watching students starting to wander around campus as the day was over. I scrounged around in my pocket, taking out the piece of paper with my list.
I sighed, laying down on the roof, staring up at the sky. It was strange, but even though the sky was blue, all I felt were the grey clouds.
I saw a sparkle dart across my face, and I glanced over at the now open door, where Eros and Nyx walked in together.
"Nyxy, should we go get our dear Deppy now~?"
"He may come on his own, so let's have some faith in him, alright?"
"But aren't you worried~?"
She scratched her cheek, frowning. "Aren't we all?"
I groaned as I sat up, and both of them stopped, their mouths making little o's as they saw me.
"I didn't mean to skip today, I just slept past my alarm," I said, tugging on my bangs. "I didn't mean to worry anyone, I swear."
They both glanced at each and nodded, a small smile on their faces. "Well, even if you don't wish to worry us, people who care will always care my dear Deppy~."
I got to my feet and nodded. "Guess you're right about that…"
I pulled out the piece of paper I had painstakingly worked on last night and showed it to Eros. "Now what?"
"Oh, don't show it to me. We'll gather everyone you wrote on that list on this roof, and then you'll tell them exactly what you wish to say," Eros said, pushing it back to me. "Same goes for you Nyx, although I expect it to be shorter than dear Deppy's over here."
"I hate that you're right." A small smile came out, and a sudden urge to chuckle overcame me, but I resisted, but not without Nyx noticing, who gave me a sly grin.
"We denizens of the night appreciate jokes such as these. No need to hold back Depra."
"I'll try my best," I said, staring down at my list of people. "Okay, can you get the people on the list? There are a couple of people on here I'll have to do on my own, but it should be fine."
I folded the list so Eros could only see the names, and he accepted it this time, glancing through it. "Hmm, how interesting. Okay, I'll get the two of yours in a jiffy~!" And then he was gone, taking with him the sparkles.
30 minutes later, the door to the roof opened up again, and out came everyone on my rather short list of people.
"I've arri~ved Deppy~!" Eros said, raising his arm in a stylistic fashion. "It took some work, but it was worth it in the end!" Everyone I put on that specific list followed after him, and they lined up together, looking at me curiously.
"So, first we'll do Deppy, then Nyxy! Each person can respond however you see fit~!"
"Not the club activity I expected to do today, but this is rather exciting! I wonder what Depra will tell us," Prez said, looking at the assortment of people I had asked Eros to bring.
I walked to the end of the line, where Prez was. I fumbled with my paper, my cheeks aflame with embarrassment. Damnit, I can't believe I'm actually doing this.
"Oh, I'm first? Alright, bring it on Depra!" She curled her hands into fists, pretending to fight me.
And why did she have to be first. I sighed, before looking down at my list, scanning it before I found her name.
"Okay, Prez, you ready?"
"Bring it on!"
I decided to outright say it. "I love you Prez!"
A moment of silence as I closed my eyes, my ears feeling as if they were on fire. After a couple of second, I opened one eye to see Prez's mouth dropped to the floor, her light-brown eyes gazing at me in absolute shock.
"Um, are you okay Prez?"
She blinked but was unable to compose herself as her face lit up like a candle.
"Eeeeeeeh!? Uh, um, listen, I, uh, I like you, and um, but I-!"
"I love you Prez, but as a friend would."
Another moment of silence, and then I heard a snicker from Hiro, who was at the end of the line. "Sucker."
Prez's face grew redder than a tomato as she heard his words, and she started to fidget unnecessarily. "Ah, of course! Jeez, don't scare me like that! Oh, this is really embarrassing you know!"
"You're telling me," I murmured, glaring at Eros, who was smiling all the same. Still, I think this is the first time I've ever seen Prez embarrassed before.
I cleared my throat, recomposing myself. "Anyway, I love you Prez because of how you manage to always bring excitement wherever you go. Whenever I'm with you, I never know what shenanigans you'll get us into. It keeps me distracted, and I'll always appreciate that about you. Thank you!" I finished what I had to say, bowing my head slightly.
She let out a hearty laugh, and I looked back at her, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "Aw, thanks Depra! You know, I think I love you too! You always know how to bring the mood down!" She gave me a hug, squeezing me with all her might. "And you're always willing to lend a hand, no matter how tough things get, so I thank you too!"
I felt a warm feeling start to take root in me, and I hugged her back, squeezing her tightly too. Yeah, this was the feeling alright. The feeling of friends caring for one another, a feeling I thought didn't exist within me, a feeling of Friendly Love.
We released each other from our hug, our bond changing slightly, and I let out a small smile before moving onto the next person.
"Okay, next is Caelus." He gave me a grin, and he readjusted his sandy-blonde hair before crossing his arms.
"Hmm, I would have preferred a girl confessing to me, but it is what it is. So, I'm ready for you Depra!"
I nodded, gearing up for what I had to say.
"I-I love you Caelus!"
Caelus winced in pain, clutching himself. "Oh, it feels so weird hearing that from a guy."
"Think that's bad, think about how it feels for me." I shook my head, taking a deep breath before continuing.
"I love you Caelus, as a friend would, because despite your perverted tendencies that have gotten worse over the years, you've stuck by me, and helped me when I was at my lowest." He nodded, a slight smile on his face. "You've also recommended plenty of good stuff to me, so that means you're a true bro in my book."
"Hmm? What does he mean by that Cae?" Prez asked, tilting her head as she looked at him.
"Ehem! I love you too Depra, for putting up with our antics, even following along when you don't want to, especially with the idiot next to me." He nudged Prez, and she pursed her lips, glaring at him.
"Hey, I'm not like that!"
He rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Anyway, besides that, you're a true bro, especially after some of the stuff us guys did, well, you know what I mean. Bring it in my man."
We gave each other a quick hug, patting each on the back, and the warm feeling started to grow, filling my tired body. We released each other, and Caelus patted me on the shoulder before giving me a wide grin.
I nodded in response, looking back down at the list. "Okay, looks like it's her turn now."
I walked to the next person in line, who was none other than Necessitas.
"I can't believe I'm here right now," she murmured, looking down at the ground while messing with her hair.
"Well, I was shocked by a couple too last night." I cleared my throat, nodding to myself. "You ready?"
"Come on Necessitas, don't be embarrassed." She slapped both her cheeks before nodding, looking me in the eye. "I'm ready."
"I, I love you Necessitas!"
She covered her face with her hands. "Nope, I wasn't ready!"
Their reactions aren't making this any easier. I decided to continue. "I love you Necessitas as a dear friend of mine. Although I haven't known you for long, it feels as if we've been great friends for a long time now. You're the normal I need in my life, and I thank you for bringing it to me whenever you're around."
She slowly uncovered her face, which was a light pink now. "Mm. Yeah, I feel the same way. You're just about the only normal person I talk to regularly, so I have you to thank for my sanity. Your company is always welcome, so feel free to hang out with me anytime you want." We gave each other a brief hug, squeezing each other tightly before letting go. She patted my shoulder and nodded me towards the next person, a warm smile on her face.
The warmth had started to grow even farther now, my normally cold hands starting buzz as the familiar warmth reached them.
"Okay, after Necessitas is Erebus, surprisingly." I walked up to him, and he nodded at my words, his hand on his chin.
"But of course King! I always have to be next to my beloved Dark Empress!"
"I can't even be bothered to stop him today," Necessitas muttered from his right. "Embarrass him greatly Depra!"
I let out a slight chuckle before clearing my throat. "Anyway, you ready Erebus?"
"Hmph, I guess I have to grace myself within the light occasionally. Very well, proceed, for this shall be of no challenge for me!"
I nodded, preparing myself. Okay, I'm ready. "I, I love you Erebus!"
He winced before dropping to one knee. "It seems I underestimated your power! As expected of our one and only King! Only you could bring me to my knees!"
You know, I think I'm the least embarrassed this time out of all the other ones. "I love you Erebus as a quirky friend of mine. You're the opposite of your 'Beloved Dark Empress,' always bringing me out of my comfort zone, dragging me around on your adventures, stuff like that. It helps me be a kid when I wasn't able to, and I'll be forever grateful to you for that."
He managed to get back up to his feet, giving off the wickedest grin I've ever seen him pull off. "But of course! I'm glad to have your companionship on our travels together. Two is far better than one, and you're the brains we need in our expeditions. So, I guess as far as our friendship goes, I would indeed agree with on the fact that we love one another!"
He grasped my hand before pulling me in for a hug, patting my back before pulling back his lone red eye staring at me expectantly.
"I could ask for no better companion."
I nodded, the warmth now growing towards the tips of my toes and proceeded to the next person on the list.
"Okay, now its Hemera's turn now it looks like." I stopped in front of the cheery girl, who was all smiles as she saw me.
"Oh, it's my turn now! Ooh, I can't wait for it! Okay, I was born ready for this moment Depra, so hit me with everything you got!"
I nodded, winding up before becoming ready. "I love you Hemera!"
She squirmed in pure joy, so much joy that it almost felt like she was glowing with it. "Ah, I never imagined it would feel so good! Oh, I'm so happy!"
"You know, as I was making this list, you were one of the harder ones, you know that? You're too positive, you smile too much, laugh too joyfully, always seem to be laughing and having a good time, and occasionally I feel blinded just by being anywhere near you."
"Gh!" She looked hurt with every reason I rattled off, and I could hear Nyx snickering in the background.
"Serves you right."
I let out a small chuckle before continuing. "But, even with all these flaws you have, it's what I love most about you. I'm loathe to admit this, but being near you feels as if I could be just as happy and carefree as you one day, and that's why I love you Hemera, as a wonderful friend of mine indeed."
I think this was the first time I've ever seen her looked shocked before. And before I knew it, she was bawling her eyes out as she gave me a fierce hug.
"Oh Depra, I love you too! So, so, sooooo much! I'm glad I was able to help you, even if it was only a little bit! And even if you're all moody, you're still the kindest person I know, and don't you ever forget it!"
I nodded, hugging her back with just as much ferocity. Her hug caused my warmth to blossom inside, warming me up even more.
She looked up at me, sniffling. "Oh, I messed up your shirt Depra. I'm sorry."
"Nah, it's alright. I needed to wash these anyway." She nodded, giving me a tight squeeze before releasing me.
Through her tears, she was able to give me one of her radiant smiles, and this time, I didn't mind it as much.
"Okay, after Hemera is Aether." I moved in front of Aether, who had his normal stoic straight face on.
"Hmph, deciding to do me so late? Very well, I'll make an exception for you, so hurry it on up so you can get the other peasants out of the way."
I don't think the others took that very kindly, but they probably understand, right? "Okay, are you ready Aether?"
"I am always ready to handle anything."
I nodded before clearing my throat. "I um, I love you Aether!"
Beads of sweat started to form on his face, but his facial expression didn't change.
"You were also a hard one to figure out? You really didn't make it easy for me in the slightest. You're unbelievably cocky, completely useless on your own, and the amount of times the others and I have had to save you is probably surpassing infinity," I paused, and watched as the sweat rolled down his face, his hands slightly shaking from nervousness.
"Is that so? Heh, it's because you don't see how good I truly am." Ah, if your voice wasn't quaking, I might've believed it.
"But," I said, continuing from my previous statement, "even though you have all these faults, even you have your good points. Your overwhelming confidence makes it so that occasionally, even I feel as if I can do anything, even if only for a little bit. And you're pretty funny when you fail at everything, so there's that as well. Despite all your quirks, there isn't anyway I could hate you Aether, who I love like a dear friend."
The beads of sweat faded away, and he looked rather pleased with himself. "Well, I knew that would be the only outcome. It's impossible for those below me to not fall for me immediately." He put a hand on my shoulder, his sky-blue eyes gently looking at me. "Well, even though I tend not to love those beneath me, I shall make you the only exception Depra. Only you are worthy enough to stand above the rest of these plebeians."
He gave me a brief hug before patting me on the shoulder, giving me a rare smile. "Yes, I think I can truly say I feel the same way Depra."
I could feel the warmth growing towards my ears, and they started to heat up, although it felt like a good heat, one that I could grow accustomed too.
Only four more left on the list now. "Okay, not it's, oh, hey mom."
It was Pinkie, and she looked rather happy to see me. "Hello son, how are you today?"
"Slightly embarrassed by confessing my love, but I've grown used to it, at least a little."
She nodded, pushing her long pink hair behind her ear. "Alright, I'm ready for this! Bring it on son!"
I gulped, trying hard not be nervous. "Okay, you ready?"
She nodded again, giving me a slight smile.
"I, I love you Pinkie!"
She let out a wondrous smile, swaying back and forth. "Ah, that really does feel nice to hear son."
I looked down at my paper, hesitating. Was it really alright? I glanced back at Eros, who was giving me a thumbs up. "Okay, so, you were the hardest one to figure out Pinkie."
"Eh!? Why?" She tilted her head, pushing her hair back behind her ear.
"Well, it wasn't because I didn't love you or anything. On the contrary, it was more of I didn't know what category to put you in. You give me head pats whenever I do something you like, scold me whenever I do something you don't like; honestly, you remind me of my mom in a way surprisingly enough. But, it's something more than that. You're a great friend, your arguments with Hiro are always hilarious, and I believe you to be too cute for a mom."
I could see her face reddening with every compliment I gave her, but I wasn't done yet.
"So, you're not family nor a friend, so this really confused my brain. I'm not exactly good with emotions, so I really don't know if this is allowed, but I made a special category for you, called the Pinkie love. So, Pinkie, I love you as a Pinkie would."
I turned around to Eros. "Is this okay?"
He flicked his hair back, sparkles darting off him in every direction. "But of course! It's your feelings, no one can tell you what you feel but yourself, and if you need to make up a name for a feeling, that is alright too. Emotions are fickle like that."
I nodded, glad that someone who understood how these emotions all worked was here. I turned back to Pinkie, who seemed to have recomposed herself.
"I see, I expect nothing less from my darling son. You always were like this, but it's a part of your natural charm. Well, if you love me as a Pinkie would, then I guess I love you as a Depra would! Yep, I love you and all your tired grumpiness!" She motioned for me to kneel down (she was only about 5 foot, give a couple inches) and once I did, she gave me head pats. "Good son, now come here!"
She wrapped me in her small arms, her head resting on my shoulder, and I proceeded to do the same.
"I really do care for you, always know that, okay?" Her words caused a new sprout of warmth to grow within me, warming my head. I nodded at her words, and she squeezed me slightly tighter before letting go.
"Off you go now," she said, sniffling to herself.
I got back to my feet, taking a shaky breath. "Alright, next up is you Hera, or should I call you dad?"
I walked in front of Hera, and he rolled his eyes. "Whatever, you rarely call me that."
"That's because you're never around for bonding," I teased, and I could hear Pinkie giggling next to him.
He crossed his arms, looking down at me (he was easily over 6 feet tall, although I didn't know the exact number). "So, I guess I'm ready."
I nodded, needing to mentally prepare myself for this one. "I, I love you Hera!"
His face grew pinker, causing his light-brown skin to redden. "Man, it's kinda hard to not be embarrassed."
If only you were in my shoes. "I love you Hera, much the same reason why I love Pinkie. Even if you don't do your fatherly duties too much, when you do, it's always a lesson worth learning. But, as a friend, you're just as good, if not better than Pinkie. You're a real bro, even if you don't speak that much. So, I love you as a Pinkie would."
"Hey, that sounds weird son!" Pinkie exclaimed, her face bright red. "It makes it sound as if I'm confessing to him!"
"Hush, it isn't your turn anymore," Hera said simply, and I could see Pinkie growing visibly angry. But she held off, crossing her arms with a cute "Hmph!" before tapping her foot.
I had to resist the urge to laugh at her reaction, and Hera cleared his throat, bringing my attention back to reality.
"Well, I don't know how I feel about being in the same category as Pinkie, but I must say, I believe it suits what you're trying to say. I never really asked for this dad role, but I quite like you as my son. And as a friend, you're a part of the four amigos, so there's no one who could replace you." He pulled me in for a bear hug, and his strong pats on my back shook me to my core.
"And remember, if you need help, I'll be there." His deep voice rumbled through me, and the warmth inside me started to blossom, growing even more, touching parts of my body that I didn't even know could be touched.
He swiftly let go, patting me on the back. "Go on, you got too more left now," and he gave me a grin that showed off all his teeth.
I nodded, gulping as I reached the final two. "Alright, now for the last two of the group."
I walked down in between the last two people looking at them nervously.
"Hey, you left best for last, right Luna?"
"You're going to do both of us at once?"
The final two were the brother-sister pair, Luna and Hiro, and as usual, they were acting the same. Their banter would normally calm me down, but not today, since this was the most nerve-wracking confession I had yet to do.
I gulped as I shoved my piece of paper back in my paper, scrounging around before I found another piece of paper, this one with only five names on it.
"Oh, this paper looks different," Hiro noted, nodding to himself. "Okay, are you ready to get confessed too? It's your first time, so don't get too embarrassed, alright?"
"Isn't it big bro's first time too?"
He cleared his throat. "Um, let's not go into details Luna. Let's just say I've had fruitful life experiences is all. Anyway, I'm ready when you are Depra."
Luna nodded in agreeance, and I looked back down at the paper. Was it truly alright? Would they accept it, the two in front of me? Most importantly, would (they) accept it?
There were no voices, no screams, just the pounding of my own cold heart. In the end, the decision was up to me alone, wasn't it?
I took a deep breath before exhaling loudly. "Alright, here goes you two." I looked back up at the two of them, their nervousness clear in their faces.
"I, I LOVE YOU, HIRO AND LUNA!!" I shouted this statement to the heavens above, proclaiming my love for the two of them.
"Oh man, it doesn't get any easier," Hiro said, his brown skin reddening.
"I don't think I've ever been this embarrassed," Luna murmured, steam practically coming out her head from my love confession as she swayed back and forth.
"I, I love the both of you very dearly! More so than the confines of friendship could ever hold!" I couldn't back out now, so I let it all out now, my pent-up feelings.
"Hiro, I know you don't know this, but I have a twin brother you know."
That snapped him out of his stupor, and his expression now turned to shock. "You had a-?"
I nodded, continuing. "Yeah, I did. You kind of remind me of him a bit, especially with how we talk with one another. And you, Luna, if I had a little sister, I bet she would act something like you, although she wouldn't be as cute."
It was Luna's turn to be shocked now, as she covered her mouth with her delicate hands.
"You two are more than friends to me, and even if we haven't known each other too long, to me," I looked them both in the eye as I said this, "I love you like siblings would, as I would love Hiro like a brother, and I would love you Luna as a sister."
I closed my eyes shut; the deed done. I was so nervous, I could feel the sweat coming off my armpits and face, and each second felt like an eternity as I unconsciously held my breath, waiting for their response.
"Huh, is that all?"
"I'm confused too big bro."
I looked up, it being my turn to be confused. "Huh, what?"
They were both looking at each, confusion in their eyes. "Ah, I guess we never did say it too him, did we?"
"Should we say it now?"
Hiro grinned as his dark brown eyes locked with my own. "Silly Depra, we already knew that. You've been a part of this family for a while now. I thought that went without saying."
Luna nodded, holding her fists enthusiastically as she leaned in closer. "Of course, I have to agree!"
Oh. I could feel tears welling up as a new sense of warmth blossomed to my heart, the long chill over as it finally began to thaw.
"Hey, is it really okay? For me, for this to really be happening?"
I felt two bodies wrap themselves around me, and their warmth soaked into my very bones.
"I would've said if it wasn't, wouldn't I?"
"Mhm! You're my big bro now, so it's all okay!"
Ah, it seemed I was worried over something stupid again, wasn't I? I hugged the both of them tightly. This feeling of elation and freedom, the first I've felt in years, I never want to let it go, and I let out a grin, not a forced one; no, one that would cause others to smile in return just by looking at it, one that could be called a genuine smile.
I don't know how long I was in that hug. It could've been an eternity or just a brief second, but it was a moment I would never forget; the day I found love I thought I had long lost.