Chereads / Reborn as a literal piece of s**t / Chapter 6 - The chapter after the last one that was posted, the one before this one. This is the one after that one, after the one that came before this one but after all the ones before it, not the other one

Chapter 6 - The chapter after the last one that was posted, the one before this one. This is the one after that one, after the one that came before this one but after all the ones before it, not the other one

So that Kelpo lookin b**ch was eaten by a tyrannosaurus or something whilst being berated by his mother (Robin Williams). So let's just say he died again.

Anywho; this time he was reincarnated as a slimy puddle on the floor of a deep and mysterious forest full of fairies and some weird mystical creature looking things that are like tiny people but they have wings and a poor fashion sense.

He looked around the forest noting all of the butterflies. Y'see these butterflies were different- these ones had wings, and human sized necks to go with them.

So whilst he was looking at the butterflies he didn't notice a large presence walking towards him from the starboard. Eventually he noticed the small, almost minuscule presence that was in the area.

The presence looked both ways before crossing the road and bending towards Kelpo the puke yellow puddle staining the forest floor and taking a sip from its Lifestraw.

The planet sized presence sucked hard as Kelpo entered the straw. "Oh no" Kelpo thought, "I should've eaten my green beans".

The average sized presence drank Kelpo with haste.

Inside the [REDACTED] sized presence's digestive system, Kelpo was being digested. He felt as he began to look like he was stuck by lightning at 2:46 pm Friday morning in the cold state of Arizona in the fall.

His body took a lavender hue as he slid down the presence that was on the shorter side's throat. All of the many thought he was having were left discarded as his slimy body hardened and flaked into the presence's stomachs.

Kelpo dropped into the 6'3" presence's stomach after his flakes. *plunk* was the sound of his astonishment as he found there was no liquid of any sort in the stomach.

All of the sudden the walls of the stomach started closing in on him. Kelpo looked around for a way out. He didn't find one.

He was crushed by the stomach walls

Into a tasty juice

That slipped into the small intestine

His very being was in the middle of being tickled with sandpaper as he finally had an idea. "What if I didn't die tho" s ok he didn't die (yet) and he started to look like my father after a "Chinese" buffet.

Kelpo looked like a Canadian kfc chicken drumstick plastered on top of a Wendy's premium bun with soaked in horseradish sauce straight from arbys drink dispenser for a few months.

All of the Taco Bell in the world couldn't describe Kelpo at this point in time, he looked like a Doritos locos taco after a day in the sun with a pretty lady but she spilled her iced tea on it hours ago but is too lazy to do anything about us as she lounges, eventually forgets the taco and leaves it overnight in the dead of spring.

Kelpo was eventually released into the large intestine, something I was warned about beforehand but still astonished it's happening right in front of me and I'm describing it to you.

This intestine actually had a good outcome on Kelpo. He turned to solid gold .

Apperantly that wasn't supposed to happen as the hound dog was rushed to the hospital and had to have kelpo surgically removed.

The dog died

The vet is rich now

You accidentally killed your subordinates blood brother

Kelpo was sold in an auction and will probably be killed and reincarnated again in a couple years.

Nobody cares though

I need sleep

If you're still here

F**k you

Actually

F**k me 😏

Looking at you a bit harder I've changed my mind, I'm just gonna watch the Garfield movies which there may be multiple of I'm not too sure actually.

🥳

That's my favorite emoji

Say hi.