4. I'm Out
ZAB
Pinili kong suotin ang damit na hanggang kalahati ng hita ko. It's so fit that it displays what it should display. I love dress that are rebelliously short-- damit na hindi ko nasusuot noon. My high school uniform was few inches away from my ankles, like what the fuck? I'm a student in a christian school, not in a nunnery.
Anime guy is still on my living room, watching the picture frames. So far, wala pa naman siyang kinukuhang gamit so I don't think he came here to steal.
Rape?
Not even. I offered him sex many times, he declines.
"Dearil?" tawag ko sa kanya. "Don't you have anything to do, like a job?"
"I do. I told you I reap sould," sagot niya.
"Exactly! So go and work, huwag 'yong tumatambay ka sa bahay ko. Go find Elizabeth Alexis Cruz which is obviously not me and reap the pour woman's soul."
His beautiful eyes stared at me. "It's all been taken care of."
"So?"
"She already left this world."
"Great!" I faked a smile. "Now you may also leave my house."
The red haired anime guy strolling inside my house frowned. "Not until I figured out how you can see me."
I laughed dryly. "What's the purpose of eyes by the way?"
I snatched my heels on the shoe rack at sinuot iyon. The anime guy stared again, at my every move.
"I'm leaving." I grabbed the keys on my bag at biglang napatigil nang biglang may naalala. "How the hell did you enter by the way?"
He didn't reply at sa halip ay lumabas sa nakasarang pinto. He walked through the door like... like a ghost! What the fuck?! Then he returned.
"That's how," sabi niya.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. "You! Oh my gosh you have so many skills to teach me."
"No." He looks like he thinks I'm crazy!
"Edi wag," inirapan ko siya at binuksan ang pinto upang lumabas. I inserted the keys to lock my door when he appeared at my back.
"You're upset."
"Of course," sagot ko sa kanya. "You can teleport, you can be invisible and can walk through walls pero anong silbi niyon kung hindi mo ako tuturuan ng mga bagay na iyon? Useless. Stop hanging out in my house if you cannot grant a simple favor from me."
He stared at me blankly. "It's not something I can teach. It comes handy when you're a grim reaper."
"Get lost."
And he did, thankfully.
Agad akong umalis at pumara ng taxi papunta sa coffee shop kung saan kami magkikita ni Yna at ng blind date ko. It's actually a double date. Yna's flavor of the week will bring a friend so Yna decided to bring me.
Blind date is not really a good idea...
... but I like crazy ideas so I'll go for it.
Hindi nagtagal ay nakarating na ako sa coffee shop and just as I expected, si Yna pa lamang ang naroon. We decided to meet earlier to brief each other what to say later. Hindi naman pwedeng basta-basta na lamang naming ibigay lahat ng impormasyon na tungkol sa amin sa blind date ko at sa 'flavor of the week' niya.
"Zab!" she kissed my cheek and sat back.
"So... is my blind date handsome?" tanong ko.
She smiled. Fuck, I know that smile.
"Yna?! You set me to a blind date to probably an ugly, disgusting man na hindi man lamang kilala ang toothbrush at sabon?!"
Napalakas yata ang boses ko dahil napatingin sa direksyon namin ang mga nasa ibang table.
"Ssh!" she gestured for me to keep my voice low. "Of course not! Kailan ba kita sinet up sa ganoong date?"
I rolled my eyes, giving her a groan. "You set me up to a guy who sleep naked beside his dog."
Yna frowned. "What's wrong with it? He's cute and he doesn't smell like dog right? At hindi mo naman alam iyon kung hindi kayo nagkwentuhan ng tungkol sa hubad na katawan."
Uh, still why naked beside a dog?! Who knows he's a dog molester! "You also set me up with a guy who has an elongated face at talo pa si Osama Bin Laden sa balbas!"
She grinned. "Eh ano ngayon? May bigote rin naman ang kadate ko noon ah?"
"Yna you know I hate bearded man! Seriously, he looked like a hairy dick with all that beard. Maybe it's really his dick at mukha niya ang nasa loob ng pantalon niya."
Yna laughed hard. I don't find it funny. That was disgusting.
"Don't worry Zab, I swear today's different."
"Siguraduhin mo lamang," wika ko. "So what's your name?"
"Anne," she replied. "Ikaw?"
"Mia."
"Okay Mia. Anne is a freelance model, got that? And I love cats and birds."
Tss. She's allergic to furs so why say she love cats? "Got it Anne," sagot ko. "Mia is..." Oh, as always I prefer to keep my true nature. "Mia is just like Zab."
She furrowed her forehead. "Zab, no. Sinasabi ko sa'yong iba 'to ngayon. You might end up on bed with the guy so don't let him know how crazy you are."
"I'm not crazy," apela ko.
"Who keeps a shovel under their beds?"
"In case someone crashed outside my house, I'll just bury a dead body."
She groaned. "You once put all my underwear in the freezer!"
"Cool right?" ngisi ko.
"And pressed the fire alarm at the mall when we were buying concert tickets!"
Napangiti ako nang maalala iyon. Our favorite artist held a concert here so I tugged her along to get ticket pero napakahaba ng pila at baka posibleng maabutan kami ng sold out so I pressed the fire alarm. Everyone ran away at pati ang staff ng ticketing but I pulled her back. I told her nagmalfunction lamang ang alarm so she doesn't have to panic at agad akong nakabili ng ticket.
"Hey we both enjoy the concert," sagot ko sa kanya.
She sighed in frustration. "Bahala ka nga Zab, it's your date anyway."
I suddenly frowned when the red haired anime guy sat on the vacant seat, beside Yna pero wala lamang iyon sa huli. Tila hindi man lamang nito pinansin si Dearil.
Like what the fuck Yna if someone as hot as Dearil sat beside me, I would notice already.
Pero teka, bakit siya nandito?
"Why are you here?" I asked.
Dearil just pouted samantalang nagtatakang napatingin naman sa akin si Yna.
"What? Zab ayos ka lang? Blind date remember?" nagtatakang wika ni Yna.
Fucking shit.
"Told you, you can see me for some reason and not just because you have eyes," Dearil said. He leaned closer to Yna na nakatingin pa rin sa akin at tila nagtataka sa inaasal ko. "Your friend obviously has eyes too."
"Yna?" My mouth gaped open.
"Yes?"
"Do you see a guy beside you?"
She turned to Dearil pero tila lumagpas lamang ang tingin niya rito. "Are you on drugs Zab?"
"So the seat is empty?" paninigurado ko.
"You sure you're okay? Pwede nating i-cancel ang blind date parang hindi ka okay eh," nag-aalalang sabi niya. Bahagya siyang tumayo at sinalat ang noo ko. "Wala ka namang sakit."
What the fuck? I-cancel? I spent two hours deciding which to wear tapos ika-cancel? No way.
"No, okay lang ako," sabi ko kay Yna at tinapunan ng masamang tingin si Dearil.
"Nandito na sila!" bulalas ni Yna at tumayo. Kumaway siya sa dalawang lalaki na papasok. They walked towards us and one meet Yna and kissed her lips.
Fuck.
The other guy is so hot!
Fucking hot!
That must be my blind date!
Nakipagkamay sa akin ang flavor of the week ni Yna. "You must be Anne's friend. Hi, my name's Aaron, and this is my friend Chase."
"Mia," sagot ko at nakipagkamay kay Aaron. I turned my eyes to Chase who was so fucking yummy. He looks like he's a regular in gym and shit, he's so handsome! "Hi, I'm Mia!"
Chase smiled at tinanggap ang kamay ko. "Chase."
The introduction didn't last long at naghiwalay kami ng table. Sa isang mesa ay nagsusubuan ng donut sina Yna at Aaron samantalang nagkakahiyaan naman kaming dalawa ni Chase sa mesa namin.
Pero what the fuck.
It's not just us.
Dearil also sat with us but he's only visible to my eyes. I keep hissing at him. Fuck, he's staring at Chase, don't tell me type din niya? Is that why he doesn't want to hookup with me?!
Chase cleared his throat. "So Mia, what do you do?"
"I'm..." Okay, siguro tama si Yna. Don't wanna let this guy down. "I'm a finance manager at my parent's company."
Yup, I was offered the job but I declined.
Dearil made a face at me. "You do stripteasing."
"Wow," sagot ni Chase kasabay ng pagsalita ni Dearil.
"Shut up!" naiinis na sabi ko kay Dearil pero bahagyang nagulat si Chase.
Shit is real.
Akala niya siguro siya ang pinapashut up ko.
"Sorry," Chase said.
"No, no, I mean... Shut Up is the gym na pinupuntahan ko. You look so buff, I bet nag-g-gym ka rin." Hay naku, sana lumusot. Yup, may gym malapit sa apartment ko. The gym's name is Shut Up and Gym With Me.
"Yeah!" nakangiting sagot niya at napaflex pa. "Aaron and I go to the same gym."
"No wonder."
Dearil snapped at Chase at tila hindi man lamang iyon napansin ng huli. Then the red haired guy looked at his palm after snapping. "He's gay."
"What the fuck?!" Napalakas na bulalas ko. Yna and Aaron looked at us samantalang nagulat naman si Chase.
Fuck this red hair guy. Mapagkakamalan akong baliw nito.
"W-why?" tanong ni Chase.
I immediately shook my head. "Sorry, I just remembered something. Sorry talaga Chase."
He smiled as he drank his coffee. "I thought you're angry at me."
Sumandal si Dearil sa upuan at nagkibit balikat. "I told you he's gay and he like's the other guy." He pointed his thumb towards Yna and Aaro's table.
"Shuuuut uuuup," I mumbled under my gritted teeth.
How could he destroy my fun?!
No, Chase is not gay! Gusto lamang akong bwesitin ni Dearil. Bakit ba siya sumunod rito?! May susunduin ba siyang patay?
"He's gay," he said again.
Wala yata siyang balak tumigil hangga't hindi ako naniniwala.
No Dearil just get lost. Chase will be my third guy and fourth sex.
Dearil look down at Chase's lap. "He's wearing a red thong printed with the other guy's face."
I feel like all my sexual fantasies with Chase go down. I glared at him before shaking my head in disbelief. The red hair guy look so serious as fuck so there's just one way to find out.
I dropped on my knees and crawled under the table towards Chase's zipper.
Napasigaw siya nang binuksan ko ang pantalon niya. He started to panic at sinubukang itulak ang mukha ko palayo. I was successful to unsnap his button and unzip his pants.
"Shit get away from me!!!"
Nagkagulo kami at nagulat ang ibang mga naroon. He tried to stand up at mas napadali tuloy ang balak ko. I pulled his pants down and saw the red thong with Aaron's face.
Fuck this shit I'm out.
Goodbye big dick.
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