Why?
Why here?
Why not somewhere else?
Why me?
Why my class?
Why?
Why?
If I could show you guys how was my state just now, I willingly say if I was on my bed I would trashing all the pillows and jumping like monkey, frustrating with whole this. Just imagine that!
Yeah, I'm a dramatic person because I lost a chance to having a dramatic session with my real parents and let them do the parenting jobs correctly on their only child but I received the love from people that not even blood related with me at all for a few years and then...all gone!
Then I should be the one who hunger for much attention here! Abandoned by the parents just because I was a bad luck to them.
I wondered who the hell that stupid people claiming myself as a bad luck? Who the hell they think they were? A God? Too easily claiming I was the unfortunate events on their life?
I really wanted to cut that person's tounge until he or she couldn't even speak at all and shove it into their throat and becomes the poop of their own belonging!
Frustrated! Yes, I am and was frustrated about my journey of my life...
Ding!
The message popped up on the screen. Huffing looking at the sender name, I click the message...
'Button up back your shirt! That's only for my eyes, babe!'
Looking down the unbuttoning shirt, the cleavage did revealed a little and only for my eyes! Not for him!
Did he know that I was so mad at him?
The biggest question was:
Why he didn't tell me anything about it?
He got plenty of time to tell me about his dream job but instead he just keeping for him and intentionally gave me a surprise attacked today?
Wasn't too much just sending the text and I will prepare myself before and now...I want to sulking double in time away from him!
I was beyond shocked and of course the madness getting slowly slipped away and I was ready to wrestle him in that class!
Did he purposely forget about what happened before? He was not even trying to please me and now he just like almost give me a gun to shoot at my heart!
'I don't care!'
Replying back to him I set the phone silent and push it into my backpack and ignored it.
Crossing my arms and huffing down to the front, Anita giggling on her phone besides me.
What the hell she was doing? On porn or what?
"Sorry babe...it's not what you thinking. Here...take a look at this..." she gave me her phone to let me look at what she giggled about before.
Heh, the red lady downstairs?
Oh. My. God!
What the f**k!
Why today everything turns out to be this way?
For so many other days in a year, 354 left alone and all just gather around in this very day?
For so many people out there in the whole world, why she was here?
"Did you see how ridiculous she was down there? I heard she was one of the new professor here but she's not gonna teach us because she's not in our course at all. Perhaps...she was with the campus queen bee. Aha~ absolutely..." she take her phone back and I was only registered a word of professor came out of Anita's mouth.
A professor?
Dad!
Did you know your girlfriend was here and ready to ruin my future here?
Why you are so cruel after all I did to you and you just simply let her be here with me here?
I know my face totally blank and another wave of shock strikes me and make me drown under it...
Wait!
Why would I care about her?
She doesn't even know me and of course I knew dad not gonna tell her about me... right?
Retrieve back the phone from the belly of the bag, I texting dad just to asking him a few questions.
Me: Did Alessia know about me?
Dad: —
Me: You showed her the pic of mine?
Dad: —
Me: Reply me back ASAP!
Dad: —
I tossed the phone back after waiting a few seconds for his reply but he never responded.
Too much busy for me but too much free for that woman!
So unfair!
If he keep going like that I'm gonna make his business shattered and bankrupt to the ashes!
Yeah, he never care for me because I was a bad luck because I was born as a female not a male!
Instead of letting me in his arms, he chose to feeds me by using his money and he almost going to the ground after his business got some major problems.
Who was helping him back there?
This...this female species, who helped him back to his glory!
I didn't asked him to return the favor but I do hope for him to spare a glanced for me. He never looked at me directly to the eyes.
Maybe I was disgusting enough for him to see not to stare. Looks like my gaze gives him a contagious disease and no cure at all.
Sighing, I walked out from the class and went to the loo at the corner of every floor.
I heard some whispered before I tried to push open the door.
"So much handsomeness to our new lecturer and of course not to say, he quite suitable to our new female lecturer..."
"Yeah, she's pretty but a bit overboard..."
"Maybe she's too much happy to be here just to dress up like that!"
"Doesn't matter as long as they looked suitable for each other."
"No! He's mine! She can have someone else!"
The three different voices keep on rumbling about the 'persons'.
The doom about to coming to me much closer and today I wasn't prepared anything at all just to remain calm as possible.
I walked back to the class forgetting to pee. Intentionally forgetting it to continue my day here... finishing the classes before headed out.
Crap!
6 pm appointment with him!
Should I go?
Shouldn't I go?
Anita just back with her self. Not even flirting with me when she's too much focus on the class while I was floating following her everywhere unwillingly.
___
"See ya, babe!"
She shouted at me before took off to God knows where she went.
Glancing down on the wrist watch, another half an hour before the clock strike 6 o'clock in the afternoon.
Still confusing...
Sitting on the bike seat while holding the helmet on the oil tank, I watch the patches of black colour of my superbike lazily. Tighten the gloves, I get on the helmet and took off from the parking lots.
I saw his car still there.
I wanted to sleep! So damn tired and don't want to meet with him there!
'I saw u, babe!'
He texted me!
Yeah! I just placed my phone on its holder while I was riding the bike so...he just walked nearing his car while looking at me on the junction waiting for the light to turn green.
He smiled at me but I ignored him and got into the gear and sped off heading to my residence.
I got the answer right away after I saw his face and I saw Dad's women approaching him with her red dress clung on her body, sexily!
Arrgghhh!
I hate myself more because didn't dare to say anything back at him when I got a chance!
Dramatic!
Dramatic me!