"Home again," Kayla Montejo whispered, as she unlocked the door of her apartment along Taft Avenue, Manila. She looked around and smiled, satisfied that over the years of hard work, she had turned it into a home she would be proud of.
It was what she also wanted for her family back in her province. A place as neat and well-decorated as this, even without expensive furnishings. Not that there was anything to complain about the old house of her grandparents. That wood and capiz mansion from the past century, which hadn't had any restorations in years still looked great, and all the antiques inside of it showcased exactly the life they used to have. But it needed some repairs and upgrades. And that required some money.
She had sent money three days ago to have the ceiling changed. Her sister Juliet told her that last it rained, puddles appeared on their wooden floor from untraceable leaks, making the needed repairs even more expensive.
"Well, I did not ask you to send any this month. We're able to cover all expenses from the shop's income," Mother said on the other end of the line. She had called about it half an hour ago. "Mrs. Teresita came by to pick up her husband's trousers this afternoon and so did many of our usual customers."
"Then use the money I sent for whatever purpose you may have for it." She opened the glass door of her bedroom and went out to the balcony, the warm breeze of the April night greeting her face. "I have more saved up."
She pressed her elbows against the metal railings of her balcony as she bent down, searching beyond the buzzing roads. The streets of Manila were nothing like the streets of her province. They were filled with lights and noise, and the air wasn't as fresh. But she had come to love them anyway. Most often, you just have to get used to a lot of things in life and turn it upside down, make it your silver lining or ray of sunshine. That's how you know you're truly alive. That's how Kayla knew she was still very much alive. She had a lot about her life she needed to turn to her favor.
"Take care of yourself, Kayla," Mother said, some tears coming up.
Kayla swallowed hard, fighting back her own tears. "I love you, Mama. I will see you soon."
She immediately ended the call. She was especially tired and sad tonight that she didn't want to be around drama. In retrospect, her life was filled with it. Drama and crying and problems and more drama. The only reason she hadn't succumb to more of it and broken down was because Eric had been great at making her laugh. And he did so in the most opportune moments. So why they never actually hooked up and why she never once got that butterfly in her tummy whenever he was around was beyond her.
She recalled how the class teased her about Eric today, curving her lips a little to the absurdity. There was nothing in it, if she would recall how she actually felt. Maybe the teasing was what it really only was – mischief of high school kids who wanted amusement from their lives, who craved for something to look forward to each day, beyond classes.
Maybe it was easy for them to tease her about Eric, because she never really bothered correcting them. "Or maybe it was just easy to tease someone to anyone if she had no one." She growled aloud and headed to the fridge to grab herself some beer.
Eric bailed on her tonight. It was already past midnight and all she had were two empty bottles of beer. Zero messages. It wasn't like Eric to leave her hanging. Sure, there had been nights when plans went the other way, but she always received a call and a message from him when it happened.
Tonight, it was different. It felt different. The way he acted was different.
"I should go out more often. With other people," she whispered as she popped open the lid of her beer bottle and went out the balcony to sit on her favorite rocking chair. She might be a little tipsy, but rocking herself further would bring her to sleep.
Sulking wasn't really her best suit and at her age, it wasn't supposed to be a usual option for unfulfilled plans. But she was genuinely upset and she couldn't help but argue with herself for reasons. But whatever those reasons were, it all boiled down to one inevitable fact -- she had no right to be.
Her phone vibrated off her pajama pocket in the next few minutes. Hoping it was Eric, she stumbled to get it out and saw that it was a just a quote from Dannah - Life is not a problem to be solved. It is a mystery, which God wants us to unravel so we may find the gifts He has hidden behind laughter and tears.
"Hmmm." She pressed the mouth of the bottle to hers and drank the beer straight up. "I have yet to unravel God's gifts behind these challenges."
1AM. Four bottles. No message from Eric still. This wasn't like him. The last time he did this was when he had to be brought to the hospital due to his peanut allergies. Who knew those things could almost kill a healthy guy?
She was worried sick that night. Kayla got a call from Mr. Frey, telling her to take over Eric's class the following day because he wasn't going to be back in a couple of days. It was that serious.
She rushed to grab a cab and get to him, but couldn't understand why she couldn't get past the nurses. They told her what he had was extreme allergies. That she might catch it if she breathed the same air as he did. Duh! She wasn't buying it. Something was up. She could sense it from the guys in black suits that walked to and from the hallway of his room. When she asked him about it five days later, he just laughed and shrugged it off.
"He'd better have a perfectly good explanation to this or I will punch him by his perfect nose!" Kayla said, imagining how the bridge of Eric's nose outlined the center of his face so perfectly that his face seem to be in a perfect angle wherever he turned.
"I won't let you do that," a voice from behind her echoed.
She shrieked, jerked up and dropped the bottle from her hand. "The hell? Eric!"
"Geez!" Eric was standing by the balcony door and walked out to reach for the bottle, now spilling its contents on the floor. "What are you so jumpy for?"
"What are you doing here?" she demanded to know. Silly question, but it was her way of relieving herself of the hours worth of anxiety his absence caused. "I mean it's 1AM. How did you even get in?"
"You silly girl, you left your door unlocked." Eric went back inside to place the half-empty bottle on the kitchen counter, easily moving about her personal space. "And what are you drinking at this time of the night for? I thought you'd be in bed already."
"I want to sleep soundly." She followed him and sat on the kitchen stool, supporting her forehead with her hand propped to the counter.
Eric faced her as he leaned against the kitchen counter behind him, smiling. "Great. So you drink. Without me."
"So what happened to dinner with your relative?"
"I don't want to talk about it now, actually. I came to see you and I came for popcorn and a movie." Eric looked at his watch. "Though I think that isn't possible anymore." He paused and surveyed her face, as if searching for something. "I still came to see you."
Hearing those words had definitely placed a smile on Kayla's lips. She tried controlling it. She didn't want to smile at him as she was still supposed to be sulking, but her emotions went against her head and came out as a snort, until she laughed aloud and he did, too.
"Ah. Finally. A smile." Eric raised his hand in the air, exaggerating his movements, and went to sit on the plum leather couch in her living room.
Kayla watched him for a moment from where she sat and saw that he pressed his lips together and stared at the television. He stayed that way for a minute or so, speechless and un-moving. And because the TV wasn't even turned on, she knew it was time to break the ice.
Kayla walked over and sat beside him, making sure she was at their most comfortable and usual distance. "There is something you'd like to say to me, I'm sure."
Eric forced his eyes shut and shook his head, as if shaking his thoughts away. Then he began, "My brother wants me home. For good."
"For good?"
"Yeah," he replied lowly. He stared out in the window this time and placed a finger to his lips. He didn't say anything further, but with the way his breathing labored against his chest, Kayla was tempted to dig deeper. "I'm leaving tomorrow."
"That's too soon."
"I know."
But she remained quiet, too. She didn't know how to respond to him when he was like this. Heck, she didn't know how to respond to what he said. Just a few hours ago, she couldn't even imagine herself away from her best friend for more than a couple of months, and now here he was, trying to bid her a permanent goodbye.
"But you said you're coming back. In June."
"I know I did," he whispered. His voice was low, almost impossible to hear, and she knew he was really sad about it, too. "And I'm sorry."
"So this is goodbye?"
"Yes. This is goodbye." He stood from the couch and then he was gone, leaving her stare at the closed door between them.
Maybe he didn't know how to properly say goodbye. And maybe... just maybe... she didn't know how, too.