She seldom had romantic feelings. She never understood the point of sharing her life with others. I can't blame her, all she knew was pain. She was too kind to share her pain, and didn't understand that she makes people happy.
One of her more notable crushes was a man she met online known as Rivai San. She went by Armin. It was a Skype group of Attack on Titan fans that had met on a Durarara inspired chat site.
She liked Rivai from the beginning, he was brutally honest and genuinely fun to be around. He was a talented artist, and she was a passionate artist herself. Learning more about him, he was very handsome and only two years older. She never really got along with people her age, so this was refreshing for her. She enjoyed time with the others in the server, and was even okay that Neko also liked Rivai. She cheered Neko on, and held back her feelings, but Neko did the same for her.
Neko and Rivai knew each other long before she came along, and their relationship could be considered toxic. Neko was young, a Christian girl who pretended to be male, and had many family issues due to religion. Rivai was damaged, suffering from past pains he couldn't let go. His lack of control in his life made him manipulative.
She was broken too, a person who was happiest when she was a puppet. For two years these three tip toed around their feelings for each other. She eventually confessed her feelings but got no straight answer. For a year she fought with her feelings, and become obsessed.
She began to get on Rivai's nerves being so clingy. He stopped talking to her. So she took to drinking one night and talked to Neko. She confessed her suicidal nature to Neko, and how badly she wanted to talk to Rivai again. Neko, being concerned, told Rivai. Rivai called her a stalker. His intent wasn't clear. She didn't know if he was fed up with her and wanted to hurt her, or if he was genuinely believing in his statement. She couldn't recall doing anything a stalker would, but her mother had done something similar and it horrified her.
She ran. She left the server and everyone, terrified of her own toxicity.
She still struggles, wondering endlessly. Did she simply overreact to his statement? Or is she really just like her mother?