PRISONER IN LOVE

As Iook upon the clear sky of summer, I can't help but get excited about what a wonderful night it could be as my parents permitted me to go camping in the nearby lake with my bestfriend Hannah. We grow in the same neighborhood together, played the same games, chased the same crushes back then, shared the same passion for music. To put simpler, we are the best of friends, or so I thought, we'll originally it was Hannah, Gerry and me. It was a small community though, the kind where everybody knows everybody. Having Hannah in my life as a friend assured me of beautiful memories, some were I am proud of and some were kept secret of which we promised that no other soul should ever know. I'm Louise anyway, haven't told you yet but I'm one year senior than my friend. I used to have a child condition back then, that puts my family in danger so we decided to move our lives in the suburb and I vividly remember how awful it felt for me. I will be losing the life I always bragged about, the kind that feels like riding a beautiful pink bike on a park with a cold wind slowly touching my face, a dreamy life that I was forced to leave because of a poor choice of actions made by my stupid 7-year old self. I deeply regret that, maybe, just maybe if it wasn't for that incident, I won't have to endure all of the drastic changes that followed through. I told myself, things will be alright, no matter how bad it may seem, it will always end up alright. I remember the day we move on to that neighborhood, it was February, and the weather isn't that friendly, as rain falls harder on the ground, I thought it was sympathizing with me. As I step on the porch through the grass which haven't been trimmed for years, that it almost reach up to my knee, so tall that it felt like they were pinching my legs when I walked onto it, I couldn't help but notice the vast yet empty house in front of me. It looks so sad in the outside, and even the nature is not welcoming, the critic voice inside my head speaks and my eyes were scrutinizing the entire property as if I have a lot to say when in fact, I cant do anything but find my room, drop the teddy backpack and peacefully obey my parents rules in the coming years, or perhaps up until I am sharing the same roof with them. Three days have passed and I haven't gotten out of the house to see what might be there for me, as a child I thought of my friends in the city and decided that they will be my only friends, whoever I might have to know later will be least in my friendship priority. I was the kind that's clingy, so I cherised my playmates so much because I am an only child. My father works as a bank teller and my mother have her own tailoring shop at home, we have a pretty decent life back then. When there is no client, my mom is out in the garden watering her precious orchids, of which I thought was the main reason we moved to the suburb and not really because of me. As I came out looking for her, I saw a girl or a boy, I'm really not sure, whose about my age running though our backyard. I crossed over the hedge and found someone with a toy in hand. She is Hannah, a girl living two blocks away from our house, who manages to get her toy back because a puppy thought of it as food. I cannot blame that little puppy since it was a hamburger stuffed toys with a face, similar to that of Burger King. She scolded the puppy, that I am so sure I heard the poor animal sobs while walking away from her. We exchanged hellos and told her I was new in the neighborhood and from there our friendship blooms until Gerry put a wedge on it. He is Hannah's playmate from their years on diapers until my memories can remember. I've known him through my bestfriend. We made a pact, never to let each other down and will remain bestfriend until forever is not enough. He and I are of the same age. The three of us will spend afternoons sneeking from our parents just to play hide and seek, go bike around and eat the silliest kind of food we agreed to try on. Summer pass and school came approaching, I was so excited about me and Hannah being classmates and all the sleepovers we are planning but to my surprise, it turns out that I will be admitted into the lower grade as compared to my age due to my former school recommendation. I cried the entire afternoon knowing about it, because I thought finally someone so close to me will be there. Gerry and Hannah were classmates since kindergarten years and have been paired a couple of times for school activities. On top if it, they're families were community volunteers so it wasn't really surprising that everybody loves them. I love both of them, they were the nicest thing that ever happened to me since I moved into the suburb. Again, I told myself its alright not be classmates with them, at least we are on the same school together, we have the same bus service and that somehow made me happy. My parents are so contented with my improvements for the past months and thanks to my newly found friends, I was able to put the past behind me. I am seven years old then, 8 years later and a lot had happened since I first met them, I still love them now. But I think if I can go back through time, I will love myself a little more especially on that night of June 12, 2002. It was the same clear blue sky that I was staring when I was 15. I just celebrated my 35th birthday and realized that years passed so slow for those people craving for truth. I patiently watched the bird from my window and wished for my own freedom.