Cupid Rhymes With Stupid - 愚蠢的傻瓜 (BL)

🇵🇭Quiet_Pen
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Synopsis

Chapter 1 - Finding Little D

In a faraway town in Qinghai, China, a delicate teenager was strolling down a street. The townsfolk asserted that his presence could bring everyone into a trance, like witnessing a shooting star falling in the blue sunlit horizon.

Fallen leaves and twigs scattered along the road. Birds chirped and raccoons merrily played around a tree hollow beside the meandering stone path. The forming dews sprinkled the sunflowers, dancing along the meadow, searching for the setting sun.

The teenager, Zacharias Dela Cruz, was a hundred meters away from reaching his orphanage. He daydreamed about the things he would do on summer break.

He looked forward to spending more time with his foster family, helping with daily chores, playing together with his eight siblings, and the most important—taking a rest from studying the heavy books he was carrying.

Bliss traversed his snow-white body as he thought of visiting the imaginary fantasy land in his muse.

He was humming to the tune of 'Jack and Jill' when he found a tree full of berries. As he reached to pluck the tasty fruit, a nearby whimper froze him.

'Is that a puppy?'

He called out to the creature but to no avail. He looked left and right, searching every corner of the hiking trail when a pair of glistening blue eyes peeked out at him from behind a bush.

Determined to know what it was, he walked closer to those eyes which pleaded for comfort. A wave of nostalgia crept up on him as he thought about how his own chance at a better, more comfortable life came to be.

He tiptoed to the left side, careful not to fluster the creature, until he found a little puppy staring directly at him.

The puppy tilted its head to the right. Its tail struggled to wag, as one of its ears stood while the other remained flaccid. As cute as it seemed, dirt and bruises marked its whole body.

Remembering the food he wanted to save for his midnight snack, Zach pulled a pack of biscuits from his bag. He tore it open using his last set of milk teeth and cautiously placed it on the ground. He waited for a few seconds until the puppy ambled toward him, sniffed the food laid on the soil, and licked it with eyes darting between him and the treat.

While the puppy was eating, he gently rubbed its head, reassuring it with his mellow voice. Though it flinched at first, it continued to chomp the biscuit down to the last crumb and looked up to him with its big, adorable puppy eyes.

He chuckled and lifted the creature, gently clasping its body within his small hands.

Looking at the stranger holding it, the puppy's eyes sparkled. Its ears stood, and tongue waggled as it panted.

A pang hit Zach's heart. Aside from sharing the same striking blue eyes, they also shared the same feeling of abandonment. He started to daydream about what his past was possibly like when the puppy wagged its tail, brushing his wrist and pulling him out of his reverie.

He stared at the puppy and its miserable situation. "Don't worry, cute little pup. I'll take care of you from now on." He smiled, the inner corners of his eyebrows angled upward, forming an inverted 'V'.

After barking with a sudden burst of energy, the puppy licked the cheek of its new owner.

Zach giggled and put the puppy inside the open compartment of his bag. As enthusiasm drove his feet, he brought the puppy along on his way home.

"Ma, Pa, I'm home." He placed the keys back into his bag after closing the gate. As a sign of deep respect, he never forgot to greet his foster parents upon coming home.

A small kid holding a rattle sprinted toward him.

"Ge, I missed you. Let's play now!" Xiao Lu greeted, tugging his brother's uniform.

Zach was about to ruffle his younger brother's hair when the bag wiggled. The puppy yipped, causing Xiao Lu to step back, startled.

"Ge! Throw your bag away! There's a monster hiding in it. I heard him!"

Zach laughed, putting his bag down to show the puppy.

The puppy attempted to jump out of the bag but failed. It squealed in frustration as it could only get a half-way out, front paws flailing around.

"Awww. How cute!" Zach praised. "Xiao Lu, this is not a monster. It's a puppy."

"A puppy? What's that?"

Zach wondered about Xiao Lu's ignorance of the puppy when he remembered his brother's pitiful situation.

Among his siblings, only he, Xander, and Sabrina were fortunate enough to take a good look at the real world outside their orphanage. His other five siblings, all under the age of fifteen, were homeschooled. The lurking danger outside their home restricted them from going beyond the gate. Among all of the orphans, Xiao Lu, at three-years-old, was the youngest.

'Matron Chen might have yet to reach the topic about animals, Zach contemplated. Or mama only introduced the word 'dog' but not 'puppy'.' As he was about to explain to Xiao Lu, his other younger siblings attacked him like ants seizing their queen's aggressor.

"Ge, is that a puppy?" Uno, Dos, and Tres threw the first question.

These three little mestizas had eased Zach's anxiety seven years ago. They had appeared in front of the orphanage at the exact moment when Zach's scary thoughts about himself, being the only non-Chinese orphan, began to haunt him in his young age.

"Yay! A puppy! Is it a boy or a girl?" Yang butted in. His flabby white abdomen bounced up and down as he jumped in excitement.

Yin, with eyes as dark as his mischievous behavior, glanced at the puppy inside the bag. "I think it's a girl. Come to find its dick, Yang. It has none, right?"

Yang narrowed his eyes, peeking at the puppy.

"But Papa Chen taught us that some dicks are so small that you cannot see them," Yang retorted.

"Is it based on Papa Chen's own experience?"

"I don't know."

Zach's white lotus soul shook. His siblings' interesting topic about the puppy bewildered his innocence.

'Why can't I remember Papa Chen discussing these things when we were young?'

"YIN AND YANG! WHO TOLD YOU TO TALK ABOUT THOSE THINGS IN FRONT OF YOUR SIBLINGS?!" A piercing shriek came from out of nowhere.

"Ahhh!" As fast as lightning, Yin and Yang hid behind Zach.

Despite obscuring themselves, Yin and Yang knew the truth—nobody could hide from the eldest sister's wrath.

Sabrina marched toward them. The dominating aura she possessed loomed over everyone's head. Her stilettos struck the ground with such ferocity that the earth trembled in terror. The long, luscious, straight black hair she carried waved from side to side as it joined the movement of her hourglass-shaped hips. Because of these distinct features, she had acquired the title 'The Lioness of the Orphanage.'

Zach, Yin, and Yang closed their eyes, shuddering in fear. Yang yelped while Yin immediately covered his twin's mouth, hoping the heavens would show mercy on their innocent souls.

Sabrina was struggling to reach the insolent brats behind Zach when Xiao Lu inserted himself in between and pulled Zach's cloth.

"Gege! What's a dick?"

Sabrina froze. All of them froze. They awkwardly stared at each other as tension hung in the air.

Seconds after the crickets sang, the lioness' mane extended.

"YIN! YANG!" Sabrina squinted at the twins, the veins in her temples popping out. An imaginary, thick smoke poured out from her nose.

Beads of sweat were forming on everyone's foreheads when the knight-in-shining-armor came to the rescue.

"Stop scaring the little children." A captivating decree drew closer from the rear. The breeze became warmer, wrapping everyone in a tender embrace. The orphans had always cherished this sense of security.

Sabrina shifted her eyes to Xiao Lu then to Zach.

"Speaking of dicks." She rolled her eyes.

Zach furrowed his brows at Sabrina. His expression was clear enough for everyone to know what the wrinkles on his forehead implied. 'Xander is not a dick. He is our brother.'

Sabrina sighed helplessly. Xander smiled genuinely.

Xander patted Zach's fluffy bangs that cascaded down his forehead, covering his left eye.

As they saw their mighty brother, Yin and Yang immediately ducked behind Xander. They abandoned Zach like a worn-out shield in a dangerous battle.

Xander squatted down to face the little child. "Xiao Lu, you are still too young to know its meaning. Someday when you are old enough, Papa Chen will explain it to you. Okay?" He smiled.

Xiao Lu nodded thrice in agreement.

Xander lifted the puppy from the bag and looked at it with thick slitted eyebrows adorning his eyes. The muscle shirt exposed his rib cage, enriched with solid horizontal lines. His biceps contracted like two compact mountains standing still and strong. The bronze skin complemented his perfectly-sculpted body depicting a Greek statue coming to life. He was the epitome of the word 'man'.

"Didi, you both have the same blue eyes. What's his name?" Xander's gaze lingered on the confused puppy.

"Ah. I-I'm planning to keep it, but haven't thought of his name yet," Zach replied.

Yin and Yang carefully looked at the 'thing' between the puppy's legs. They stared at each other, thoughts becoming one.

"How about little D?" Yin called out proudly.

Yang giggled as he covered his mouth. After a few seconds, he burst out laughing, holding his stomach.

"Yang, why are you laughing? Little D sounds good. He's an adorable little dog after all," Zach agreed without hesitation.

"Are you sure about that?" Xander's wrinkles revealed his disbelief of Zach's decision.

Zach pulled Little D from Xander's grasp and cooed at it.

"From now on, you are my Little D."

Xander and Sabrina's face dropped. Even their rational minds lost the ability to explain how a seventeen-year-old fell into the trap of two ten-year-old kids. Zach was indeed the exception for almost everything.

"Can we play with your Little D?" Uno, Dos, and Tres asked in unison.

Zach leaned his face closer to his Little D, cautiously sniffing it. He recoiled in disgust. "Not yet, he needs a bath first. He's too stinky right now."

Everyone except Zach and Xiao Lu snorted then cackled.

As Xiao Lu heard the merry sound from his siblings, he eventually laughed, revealing the gap between his upper teeth.

Zach's chest filled with warmth. The sound of contagious happiness once again reverberated around the small orphanage.

'I'm so glad I found you, Little D. Your warmth and cuteness give joy to other people.' With this thought, the owner of the puppy began to laugh as well.

Since then, Zach continued to fortify his castle of make-believe. Not yet did he know of the things he would have to face before he could live happily ever after.