Darwin's Point of View--
I don't know what hurts the most? Losing yourself because of some people or losing some people
because you always look up for yourself. Either way, everything became so messed up that even drawing
breath comes with a price. I'm been holding this for so long, a hundred and half years, the feeling of
despair and bitterness brought by this curse of bearing the blood of those shitty vampire clans that my
father stole. I want to rip myself off and just die but even mortality turned its back on me. Been trying to
kill myself but I keep on coming back for more.
Everything is messed up.
My mind is contradicting. I want to die but somehow don't want to. I want to make people stay
by pushing them away. I am running away from my enemies by delivering myself to them. I want to love
but I can't trust. Where the fuck is my rationality and sanity? My eccentricity is driving me off the corner.
I need to breathe. Just like Ae taught me, I need to learn the art of tranquility and focus so I can
drive my mind at one point.
But the thought of Ae ironically stirred my mind off. I let out a deep sigh as I felt a painful sting in
my heart, almost as if someone stabbed it. Figures.
Here I am lying in a grassy backyard of Stephen's home. Looking back, it used to be noisy house
because I keep banging things and annoying the hell out of him. But now it felt haunted, with only the
ghost of us running around like a pack of idiots.
I was about to pull myself up when my stomach growl. There's one thing I can't run though,
hunger. It's been a day since I last ate. I'm starting to look pale and messed up again. Maybe a good
drain from the streets? Nah, I don't want any trouble. At least for now. Maybe I'll just dress up as a
normal human, blend with people and strut down the street. Like a normal human being.
Forget it. My head is at the top list of bounty. The government just declared a nationwide
manhunt with my name and face tagged along with it. What good will it be then? I'll just put myself at
risk. And besides, this thing right behind me is…
"Eh? Is it me or the force field is gone?", I whispered with a pout.
I pulled myself up and walked slowly towards the tree, which I referred to as a boundary of the
force field covering the entire area. I slowly moved my hand, trying not to get struck by another
thunderous backfires. I closed my eyes as I gently moved my hand forward. I looked to see nothing. Not
even a vibe. Not even a resonance. My hand passed through nothing.
Nothing happened. Nothing hindered an exit of any of my parts. It's entirely gone. Maybe
because Stephen isn't around.
"Looks like the bad bitch is having a vacation", I whispered with a smile knowing that I can freely
go out of his house without getting killed first. "Hey big brother!", A child yelled behind me. He's waving at me with a smile on his face. He's
carrying something in his arms and he's wearing a hideous red hat on his head.
I wonder what he's doing in this time of the night. Young people like him should be in their bed walking
down the hallways of their dreamland. But there's another horde of annoying children passing behind
him and across the streets.
"Can you help me get my ball, please?", He gave me a pleading look as he pointed towards the
ball caught up in the branches of the tree.
"Where's you mama kid? You should be sleeping by now", I rolled my eyes before crossing my
arms looking at him unimpressed.
"We have party at home. It's you year!", He joyfully replied.
"What kind of idiot celebrates something like that?", I rolled my eyes once again. This kid is really
annoying the hell of me.
"Ahhh where is your mama big brother? It's you year!", He gave me a pout.
"What the hell is you…you year?...you mean new year?", I tilt my head as I ask him. So that
explains the party across the streets. It's New Year's Eve. Damn…
The boy smiled back to me and pointed to the ball with a glint in his face.
"My goodness…", I whispered in disbelief. I can't resist cute stuff like this.
"Close your eyes. Don't open when I say so, ok?", I rolled my eyes and dusted myself off. He
closed his eyes and I used my vampire speed to get the ball and landed right in front of him.
"Here", I said and he opened his eyes. He gave me a closed eye smile before kissing in my cheeks.
He waved goodbye and hoped his way towards the other kids.
"Oh hey, can we take a photo?", He turned to me again and pulled his phone in his pocket. He
hoped his way towards me and looked up to me with a smile on his face again. His pleading look makes
me want to snatch him and get him inside.
Then I'll snap him like twig.
"You're really annoying", I sucked my teeth looking down to him with my hands on my waist.
"Awww…I'm sorry…Should I go now?", He gave me a sad look.
"Fuck…come here", I grabbed his waist and carried him in his arms. He gave me his phone and I
opened the camera. We smiled and took like 20 shots of ourselves fooling around. I kissed his cheeks in
our last shot and I put him back again. I smiled at him and gave him a high five.
"Thank you for saving my ball, big brother!", He smiled and waved and then disappeared as I
watch him go.
"Happy New Year young one!", I waved back.
A mortal friend. Rare and odd at the same time. But there's something that's really bothering me as of the moment.
Why is everyone not coming after my head? Right now at this very juncture I could have already
been ripped out of my flesh with all the bullets passing through my body. But nothing really happened.
No one came after me. Am I in the future? Or like an alternate universe?
I looked around and popped my head to check the road but I can't see nobody in their black
leather coat and with guns in their hands. I feel like there's something wrong. Why am I not being hunted
anymore?
"What the hell is going on?", I whispered before making my way back. There must be something
odd about this one.
I made my way into the house. Dirt all over the place. Glasses shattered across the floor. The
once beautiful abode now looking more of a haunted than deserted. I lay down on the couch looking
at the ceiling. I moved my hands and put it towards the light. I can't help but drowned and drunk in both
silence and loneliness. If I was a human, I would have been happy now. In this time of the year. Maybe
sitting in front of the fireplace and laughing with my kids. With my wife preparing us our dinner while she
smiles at us. All in the name of love…and peace…and beauty.
But I would have been dead by now if I was. How did everything go this far? Why did all of these
happen?
Once upon a time, I was just a student. The only thing that keeps me worried is how I can
maintain good grades to secure my spot in the scholarship. Though it doesn't really bother me because I
used to be so smart back then, when I was still alive. And then one fateful evening came.
I was laying down on my bed, the same thing that I was doing right now. Looking up to the
beautiful moon peeping through the ajar of my window. Then a loud banging sound broke my silence
and then the rest is history.
My entire family has been slaughtered by some vampire assassins. Decapitated like a butchered
livestock and nothing like bag of meat stashed in a cellar.
My father, who were supposed to protect us miraculously survived the initial attack. He dragged
me down to the backdoor and delivered his final words. He gave me a vial of what looks like a blood and
I took it. Then I saw, no, I could only hear him being murdered in the shadows from a pair of hands that
grabbed him. That's the last of him.
I ran for days and nights. Faster and as far as I can. I survived the death of my entire family only to
be killed by what I though was a help. I died and rose again and poof…glory.
For centuries I lived by the moniker, Blood Winter: The Waver of Death. Countless deaths in my
hands. Blood spilled on my parade in a journey to find the five generals of Valhr, the bastards responsible
for all of these. So I can finally obtain justice and finally die in peace. Hoping that I meet my family on the
other side.
But immortality is the baddest bitch of all. It won't let me bypass death. So I keep coming back for
more. Then a twist of fate happened when I met that guy, Stephen.
Like, all my glory, my pride, my power, my ego…was put into damper because of this curse. Why
did all happen to me?
The only original sin that I had as I can remember is to be born in this world.
"Fuck…", I whispered as I closed my eyes and turned myself towards the window. The moonlight
beaming like raindrops of light streaks in the glass window. I cannot just lay down here while everyone's
dying outside. But first I got to do something about this hunger. Damn, I should've just suck the life out of
that child but that would be very brutal.
Now I'm actually feeling more of a human and it sucks.
Since, tonight is New Year's Eve and everyone's gonna be busy and no one cares about me at all.
Maybe I can go outside and compel an entire town to forget me and my face.
What a stupid idea.
"Forget it", I snapped my thoughts out of it, "Maybe I'll just order pizza and eat the delivery boy
instead", I snorted at the idea and pulled myself up.
I took the telephone and flipped through the yellow page. There were so many pizza houses
available near me. Also, I don't really have to worry about money because I can just compel it like it
didn't happen.
"Hi?", I spoke as the line went on from the other line.
"Poppy House Deli, Can we take your order", A woman asked.
"Uhhh, Can I have one pizza please?", I replied
"Hmm ok? What kind of pizza do you want?", she went on.
"I don't know much about pizza but I'd like to have your bestseller. Please add some drinks on it",
I gently carried the conversation with a smile. But deep down I really wanna strangle her until her skin is
blue. She can lose the attitude though.
"Ok. Is that all?", she blankly asked once again.
"Oh wait", I spoke softly.
"I'm sorry I have to this but…", I trailed off.
"Huh? Are you on crack…", She was cut off by a sudden control.
"You will charge me zero penny on this. And you will send a young delivery boy", My voice
suddenly dropped as I indirectly compelled her using only a medium. I gave off an eerie vibe that even if I
can't see her I can feel her body froze and her face pale.
"Alright, coming at your way", She spoke one last time before dropping the line. "Sorry", I whispered as I smacked my forehead and sat down the couch. I haven't taken a good
bath since yesterday and body is giving off a little hint of stink.
While waiting for my 'pizza' to come in my door, I took a quick cold shower. Brushed my hair
back and pulled off some boxer shorts and a thin muscle tees. The paleness of my skin starting to get
obvious. I was about to strut my way down the stairs when the doorbell rang.
"Hi Mr. Stern, one Highland Roast Overload and one Chocolate Twist Frappe. Happy New Year",
A very handsome guy spoke before my eyes. Fuck I wanna be human and marry this guy.
"The fuck…", I can't help but curse under my breath at the sight of his face.
Don't get me wrong. I can like both guys and girls. It's my heart, my choice.
"Sir?", He smiled at me.
"Ohhhh I'm sorry I mean thank you", I grabbed the food from his hand. I almost tripped at the
carpet but he helped me out. We both smiled at each other.
"I'm Dar…Benjamin", I smiled as I offered a hand to him.
"The name's Luis", He grabbed my hand and shook it.
"Luis-Oooh nice name. By the way are you in rush? You can stay for a while", I tried my best to
act nice. Deep down I really wanna suck the life out of him and put his body on a glass case for
decoration.
"I can't right now. I'm sorry sir. By the way, I need to go", He gave me a smile and a salute before
pulling himself off the door and to his motorcycle.
"That's…", I cut myself off watching him drive away, "…so sad", I whispered looking down at the
pizza in my hand.
"Guess I really suck at making friendships. Though I have two friends but they are in captivity
now and I'm not in the mood to rescue anyone because I'm celebrating the New Year. Give me them
holidays. I just wanna feel like a human for once. It isn't that bad after all.
Well, I could have feasted the entire town if I was in my rampaging mode.
I took the drink with my left hand and went outside. I can hear the distant sounds of bands
playing. It's surprisingly odd to feel welcomed in a world full of traitor and pretenders. At least for
tonight, I'd get to live like a normal teenager.
I looked at the roof of Stephen's house checking for a perfect spot to stay for the night. I walked
around and found a ladder leading towards the roof. I climbed gently and carefully not to shit myself off
it. I reached the top and put the food beside me. The wind felt so nice. I can see the lights above and
beyond the city. It felt very calming. Though I wouldn't be surprised if a bullet kiss my skull anytime.
"No blood tonight, Dee Dee. Only human food", I whispered as I grabbed a slice of pizza. I was
about to give it a bite when I heard a whistle from the backyard.
"Benjamin!", a voice yelled.
"Who the fuck is this vermin?", I grunted without looking down. I took a sip of my drink and
looked down to see Luis smiling at me with bags of food in his hand.
"Guess we'll celebrate together Ben! We alone in this world", he happily said. He's wearing a
green hoodie and a pair of jeans and a pair of white shoes. Subtle look.
"I thought you couldn't though", I replied nonchalantly.
"Nah. I'd be celebrating all by myself anyway so might as well do it with a stranger", He replied.
"What a talking food he is", I whispered.
"Alright, hope in", I smiled back pointing at the ladder leaning from the ground to the roof.
He climbed up and sat beside me. His scent thwarting my inner demons as I looked away calming
my nerves. A few seconds passed and I managed to pull myself together. He rummaged something in his
plastic bag and handed me a drink. I took it and put it beside me. He cleared his throat before asking a
few words.
"Are you Mr. Stern's cousin?", Luis curiously asked.
"Hmm...well yes", I was about to fabricate a whole new history.
"So how was he then?", he went on with his questions.
It felt like I just cut my tongue off as he finished asking. I don't know what to feel about it. I can't
find the right words to say. I just looked at him and smiled.
"He's fine. He went to visit his father", I lied.
"I thought his father was dead", he bobbed his head.
"His uncle. My father. I mean our uncle", I suck at it.
"I see. I haven't seen him in a while now. I used to live a few blocks from here. I used to deliver
pizza for him and he gives me tip. I truly appreciate it. Good to know he's doing quite well", Luis
expressed.
"So you knew each other?", I asked in curiosity.
"Yup, but we aren't that close. He's like big brother to me and I look up to him", He added.
"Why? It's not like he's a hero or something?", I asked him back.
"Hey. You don't have to do big to be a hero. Sometimes, the smallest of things mean a lot to
those who wholeheartedly appreciate it", he returned with a smile.
I just nodded and looked away. I knew he's always a good guy. It's just me sometimes.
"How long have you been you know…delivering stuff like that?", I changed the topic.
"Almost a year now. Got to survive on my own. How about you? What you do for a living?", He
returned the same question.
I paused for a second before clearing my throat. I took a sip of my drink before dramatically
dusting myself off.
"Me? I…I am a senior developer. A web developer", I gave him an unsure face before grabbing a
pizza and munching it.
This guy sure talk a lot but I can sense he's a good person. The way he speaks, it's so calm.
Though his voice actually annoys me but he doesn't have any hidden agendas behind any of these. He's
merely just a human, just human. Nothing special.
I felt envious somehow. He can take the course of life as it is. Grow up, enjoy his youth, live his
glory, marry someone and finally settle down and die. While here I am, all these centuries later, running and
hiding in the dark. Bearing the weight of the hatred the world has against me. In the name of an ancient
sin, bound for an eternity of repentance, vengeance and pain. What if someone can revert me back to
being human? Like absolutely human. Will I ever be glad?
"You're deep in thoughts", Luis commented on my zoned out face.
"Huh? I wasn't. I was listening to the crickets sing", I replied blankly.
"Sometimes I wanna be a vampire", He smiles at me.
I gagged at his words. The drink rushing like crazy out of my nose as I spilled some on my shorts.
He grabbed a tissue and offered me one. The water soaked up my short revealing some skin underneath
my underwear. I coughed at the feeling of the soda running through my nasal cavity.
"Shit. Why?", I gave him a meme face as I wiped my lips with the back of my hand.
"You know, vampires are cool. With their super speed and superhuman strength. Ethereal beauty
and of course, Immortality", He said it like it was actually an easy thing.
Deep down I wanna pounce at him at snap his neck but the way he said those things makes him
more beautiful. His ignorance and naivety is actually impressing me.
"But you can't bear the hunger. You heightened emotions. Your hyper sensitivity and most of all
your memories", I smiled as I tried to explain.
"Eh, how did you know that? You're a vampire", A glint flashed in his eyes.
"I'm not. Idiot, not a chance", I lied. I can do this all night.
He was about to say another word when we hear an explosion in the afar. The sky was filled with
beautiful colors bursting after another. I can't help but feel awe from the sight of an enchanting sight. It
is 12:00AM, the new year is here.
"I guess that's a happy new year bro", He crossed his arms on my shoulders and took his phone.
"Happy New Year!", He greeted in his recordings and I just smiled along with it.
I looked at the firework lit sky and somehow wished everyone is here. Mama, papa, Dahlia,
Hubert, Keith, Lisa, Stephen and…Ae.
"I know someday we'll unite", I whispered as I closed my eyes trying to find that link connecting
me to them. I hope my voice echoes through their mind. And believe that I'm doing my best to get them
back altogether.
"It's gone", I can hear Luis' voice breaking into my ears.
"What gone?", I gave him a look and then around me. Ah, the fireworks.
"The fireworks", He smiled before taking a sip.
"Well, that's too bad though. We'll look forward for another spectacular firework show again
next year", I offered a toast of our plastic battles.
"If you'll be here then that would be amazing", He said.
I don't know if I'm still gonna be here next year but I just want to thank him for accompanying
me tonight. Nobody expected this.
"I can't promise though. But I am, I'll just call the line and order pizza. So I guess, see you there",
I laughed warmly as I said those words. For the first time in centuries I never felt this happy and good
about myself. I forgot being a human for a while all because I became something I never wished to
become. Maybe after all those years of hatred, pain and torment, I deserved a holiday. I deserved a
break for being the bad person in the story. I deserved to be in quiet side of the ocean. As a human, at
least to what I feel.
Time passed us by, we talked and laugh for the next four hours. Finally he bid farewell to me
because he still have to work his life off. We parted ways and I was left alone again. I crossed my arms
behind my head and lay down with my eyes to the dawning sky. Another day will fly across the universe
again. Last night felt like a history. Not a lot happened but the smallest of things become meaningful if
we learn to appreciate it. Made friends, was happy and now laying down here, smiling.
I took a deep breath before shutting my eyes close.
For I know once I open this after a blissful sleep, the harshest reality will slap me once again.
Despair, I still wake up with them in the morning.
Happy New Year everyone! Thank you for reading this far. I truly appreciate your time and
efforts and I am very grateful with all your support. The year 2020 might not be the best year for most of
us and we don't know what 2021 is up for, but we have to be strong and flexible and most of all be safe
and healthy. I'm wishing the best for everyone. May the New Year bring us luck, happiness, peace and
joy.
On behalf of Hunting Darwin family, Happy Prosperous New Year to you all
Sending love from the Golden Dawn Realm,
HUBERT RIVERLIGHT <3