The library was enveloped in a heavy atmosphere.
To be more precise, it was only our table that was warped in darkness.
After the spur of the moment that our little group had, Sanae did numerous retakes on her sample letter, showing no signs of improving one bit. After the fifth time or so, we eventually hit a wall, leaving us in the impasse we're currently in.
"I can't believe we haven't gotten anywhere after all this…did I miss something important perhaps," Segawa silently murmured to herself, biting her nail out of sheer frustration.
"No, I'm pretty sure you've done enough." I passively replied with an indifferent tone, my cheek rested on my palm.
"I'd actually like to believe so myself, but.." Segawa laid the retakes on the table, staring its way with uneasy eyes. "This wouldn't make sense if that were actually the case."
Picking up a sample for myself from the table, I couldn't really help but think the same.
The letter that she wrote was no different from before. The way the sentences were structured were really poor, and no attention was given to proper punctuations. Her choice of words weren't given much thought with slang words found in mostly every sentence, and her thoughts were left unorganized, leaving the context somewhat vague. And to top it all off, there were these weirdly-drawn emoticons from top to bottom. What the hell is with this letter, there's no way you could pass it off as a normal one.
As we dubiously stared at the objects in question, an uneasy laugh started playing at the side.
"It looks like it still isn't good enough huh.." The source of that laugh was the girl beside Segawa, a sullen expression clouded over her face. "Maybe I should just quit this whole thing and just talk things through like what Hiro said earlier."
I couldn't agree more to those words of resignation. Raising the white flag doesn't always mean losing. It's sometimes used as a means to speed up the process.
It was similar to those times when you play an online game and you was on the verge of losing. Going any further would only be seen as a futile act and would be utterly pointless, which is why you resign as soon as you were at a disadvantage. In that sense, nothing would be wasted in the end. Though, I was banned from most online games because of that, which is why I stopped playing them.
Still, it makes me wonder, was taking the easier way out in this situation really the right path to take? Sadly, I'm in no position to give an answer. Only one person had the final say. The only thing I could do was watch from the side.
"So you're planning on giving up, I take it?" As though she was thinking the same thing as me, Segawa spoke with her usual cold voice, folding her arms as she leaned against the chair. "Sanae-san, what was the purpose of this whole request again?"
"E-eh?" Confused by the sudden question thrown her way, Sanae took a short pause, looking for the right words to say. "To help me write a letter right..?"
"That's partially correct, but not exactly the answer I was looking for."
Seeing where Segawa was getting at, I joined in the conversation and answered in her stead. "You wanted to make up with your friend through a letter, right..?"
"A-ah! That's right," As if she had just remembered what her true motives were, Sanae blurted out in a boisterous manner. Seriously this girl..
"Exactly, which is why I won't allow you to quit," Segawa responded with a reassuring smile, looking Sanae's way with half-exhausted eyes. "I actually wouldn't mind staying a little longer until you get the hang of it."
"Segawa-san.." Sanae blurted out in a thankful tone in response to Segawa's kind offer.
However,
"No, I think this is probably enough."
The air around our table was suddenly shook still with my words, the two staring my way with complicated looks.
"W-what do you mean this is already enough, are you being serious here?" Segawa asked in an irritated manner. The exhaustion must be probably getting to her.
Seeing as though she misunderstood what I said, I returned her glare with a composed look, giving her reassurance through my eyes alone. "I think you've gotten the wrong idea. I didn't mean it that way. What I meant to say is that you've already done more than enough. You can leave the rest to me."
As soon as I finished clearing up the misunderstanding, I grabbed a pen from inside my bag and placed the sample I had on the table face down. And without any further delay, I began writing down what I wanted to write.
Now's about time I show them my real hundred percent.
"Eh, wait..I didn't quite get what you meant…" Unable to comprehend the meaning to my words, Segawa asked with a voice filed with doubt. Regardless, I continued writing without paying it much heed.
The request that Sanae had wasn't really as it seemed to be on the surface, taking it at face value was what lead us to this dead end in the first place. Our initial approach was wrong, and our assumptions were way off. In the end, there was another solution hiding in plain sight.
Also, as pointless as it may seem, I wouldn't take Segawa's efforts at face value either.
At first look, it might seem as if all her efforts were in vain, but that seriously wasn't the case. So far, if it wasn't for all that she's done up to this point, I wouldn't be able to come to this conclusion.
Having seen multiple retakes on Sanae's work, one thing started to bug me. There was this one thing that was always there no matter how many times she did it over. It wasn't her poor grammar, her lack of punctuations, nor her dumb-looking emoticons that continued to hurt my eyes over and over. It was something else that we easily overlooked with the notion we had in mind.
Which is why, this should be able to makes things clear.
As soon as I finished writing my piece, I handed it over to Sanae, furtively avoiding her gaze up front. What the hell am I doing, seriously..
Accepting my work with a question mark above her head, she quickly read through the content of my work. And without a second passing, I could already see her face get flushed by the second. I couldn't help but get embarrassed myself with the stuff I wrote in there.
Curious to what caused our unusual reactions, Segawa joined in and peeked at the letter. O-oi, that isn't for you to see, so quit prying on others' business without their consent!
As the two of them continued to read in silence, the reactions on their faces gave me more damage than the letter could ever deal them. At this rate, if this keeps up, I might just get sent to the shadow realm sooner or later.
Lifting her face with an exhausted sigh, Segawa turned to me with a disappointed look. "And what do you intend to prove with this cheesy letter..? It's no different from Sanae-san's work. If you're going to set an example, then you should have at least taken your time to write it properly."
"A-ah, well..I didn't quite get it either. But if you seriously intend to be friends again, then I-I guess I wouldn't mind." Sanae followed up in a somewhat passive voice, her cheeks slightly flushed with her eyes averted.
Got'cha.
"See there?" Seeing things play out as close to what I had expected, I sent Segawa triumphant look, only to receive a puzzled look back.
"What? If you're want to say something then just say it."
I cleared my throat with a sheepish cough, flashing a sample in Segawa's direction. "W-what I mean to say is that, if it's that kind of letter, this much is enough."
Looking past the misleading exterior of Sanae's request, one would surely come to the same conclusion.
When Sanae said she wanted to write a letter to show how serious she was, it didn't mean that she wanted her mere efforts to show. She simply wanted to express how she really felt to the recipient.
Putting emotions aside in these sorts of situations would surely result in nothing but failure. Effort alone won't be able to get your message across. In fact, most of the time, it would usually be taken for as something else, which would eventually lead to more misunderstandings.
If Sanae happened pursue the path that Segawa had laid out for her, it would most likely seem fake and would have the opposite effect. Which is why,
"Sanae doesn't need to change. As long as she's able to get her feeling across, I'm sure this letter is more than enough." I paused, coming into terms with the conclusion I just gave. "Even though it looks like the work of a grade schooler."
"G-grade schooler you say!? Who're you calling a grade schooler!" Sanae exclaimed with an extremely loud voice, causing me to inadvertently look in the assistant librarian's direction.
Fortunately, as soon as I met her bespectacled eyes, she merely gave a smile as she held her finger on her lips, telling us to keep it down. Seriously…if it wasn't for her, I'm pretty sure a scolding wasn't all that we'd get. Thanks for being born into this world, assistant librarian-san!
"Hoh.." As if she had come to realize something on her own, Segawa scanned through the retakes on the table, breaking into an exhausted smile. "I guess I misread the whole thing. It wouldn't feel like it came from Sanae-san it didn't look like this after all."
"L-look like this..?" Sanae pouted as she looked in Segawa's direction, crocodile tears on the verge of breaking out. "Geez…not you too Segawa-san."
"No, I only meant it wouldn't feel real…or something like that. This is who you are after all."
"S-segawa-san," Sanae blurted out in a thankful tone, only, the look on her face was saying otherwise. "I don't really know how I should feel about that."
In response, Segawa rubbed it off with a weary laugh.
Seeing things come to a somewhat abrupt conclusion, I let out a sigh of relief. The exhaustion on Segawa's face must be finally getting to me.
"Well, now that that's over with, we should probably call it a day."
Hearing my words from the other side, Sanae pulled the cuffs of her blazer down, taking a peek at her inverted wrist watch. "Ah, it's already this late. Sorry, I kind of need to go."
Responding to Sanae's notice of leave, Segawa laid her back against her chair, closing her eyes seemingly out of exhaustion. "I'll stay here for a while to catch my breath, you can go on ahead. Have a safe trip home."
Sending her off with a parting remark, Sanae stood as she kept her things, giving us a bow before taking her leave. "Thanks again for today, I promise I'll make it up to you guys."
Without giving us the sligthest chance to respond, she began to head towards the exit in haste. All we could do was wave her goodbye at the very least. Not that we did. But before she could go on any further, she came to a halt as she slowly turned our way, seemingly hesitant, her earnest eyes directed at me.
"By the way, Hiro, about that…"
Taking a hint from her fragmented words, I answered back with my own understanding.
"Don't get the wrong idea here, I only wrote that letter to prove a point. That's all there is to it." I took a short pause as I breathe a deep sigh, averting my eyes from the person up front. "Also, I only helped you out because it's part of my job. So you better make sure you make up with your friend."
I might have sounded a bit harsh on the first half, but I was able to control my tone by the time the second half was said. Probably.
"Mhmm, I'll do my best, Hiro." Partly satisfied with the answer I gave, Sanae gave me a warm smile. And without letting a single second pass her by, the library was deprived of Sanae's presence.
"I guess that marks our first club activity a success." Having been silent for a while, Segawa spoke up with a reassured smile.
"I can't really call that a success. In the end, we just ended up misunderstanding her request and did nothing for the most part. Heck, even she didn't understand what her request really was..."
"I guess so," Segawa responded with an inaudible laugh, staring at the retakes with a warm look in her eyes. "Still, results are results. As long as she was able to find satisfaction with the resolution we got, I'm pretty sure we could call that a success."
"Well, I guess you have a point."
"Right.." Segawa nodded, looking satisfied.
Our conversation ended there.
Even so, Segawa stayed dejected on her seat, motionless.
As time continued to pass without waiting for anyone, we both remained silent without uttering a single word, the soothing silence began to engulf the whole place.
"Say, do you think.." Segawa suddenly spoke up, sounding as if she was having trouble putting her thoughts into words. "Do you think..things would go well with Sanae-san. You're her childhood friend after all, so I thought you could tell at least that much. "
"...No, it's not like we're still friends up to this date, so I can't really tell."
"That so," Segawa replied with a resigned tone, straightening herself up as she began to fix her things.
Mirroring her actions, I began to do the same by keeping my belongings.
"Though, I feel like she'd be able to pull it off." I replied in delay as I continued to pack, certain memories began to surface in my head. "If she was going to back out eventually, then she wouldn't have come to us with that request in the first place."
"Fair point." Segawa replied without batting an eye, doing the same with a plastered smile.
With the evening sun about to set, and having finished packing before Segawa has, it was probably about time I took my leave.
I grabbed my things and slowly stood up, stretching out my stiffened body. And just as I was about to give a parting remark, Segawa took my chance to speak.
"Which reminds me," Segawa paused as she stopped her packing, lifting her gaze as she faced my way. "What were you going to ask me earlier?"
Hearing her words got me thinking for a while, clueless to what her question meant. But with a couple of seconds of digging through my memory, I was able to remember what her question was about.
"Ah, that was.."
'How was I able give her the sense of security that allowed her to put her guard down', was the question I wanted to ask, but was wiped off my memory with everything that happened in a single afternoon.
Although I wanted to ask, my thoughts were in utter disarray at this point. It might come off the wrong way if I bothered to ask her now. But looking back, somewhere within those insignificant exchanges, I'm sure my question was already given an answer.
"No, it's nothing. I kind of forgot."
"That so,"
"Yeah,"
No matter how vague her answer might have been, asking any further wouldn't give it much clarity. And she already gave me that answer twice by now, so going for a third might already be pushing it.
"Ah, sorry for holding you up, you can leave now." Segawa said with a small smile. "Thanks for the help today, have a safe trip home."
"Oh, you too." With a timid bow as a parting gesture, I began to make my way out of the library.
"By the way, I won't be able to make it to club tomorrow due to urgent business, so I'm leaving the clubroom in your care." Without me getting too far from the table, Segawa added in a low voice.
Considering that this was still the library, I did the same and answered back in a low voice regardless of the distance. "Got it, leave it to me.
By the time I got out of the school library, the shadows had already taken up most of the hall, leaving the sun with only a few space to shine its rays down on.
As I made my way to the front exit, it got me thinking.
Was that really all there was to it.