The next day, I felt light and hopeful that things will turn out fine soon. I spent the morning in the kitchen helping Tess with kitchen work. She taught me many things about cooking which I think can be useful for me when I leave this place. I used to live alone in the past but most of the food that I ate was instant food and fried dishes. I don't want my child to eat unhealthy dishes.
"You look prettier these days Mrs. Park. I think your baby is a girl." Tess said with a smile.
"Do you think so? How would you know that?" I asked.
"There was a belief that when a pregnant woman looks blooming during her pregnancy, then she is expecting a baby girl but if her skin looks darker and she has many pimples, then she should expect a baby boy. You look glowing these days so I guess it's a girl. It's just an old assumption, you don't need to take it seriously. Would you like to have a boy or a girl?"
"I actually don't care about the gender. As long as she comes out healthy, I would be more than happy."
"You will be giving birth in four months, right? Are you excited?" She asked.
"I am and at the same time, I feel scared." I said honestly. I am excited to be a mom and my baby would be the best thing that happened in my life but I also feel scared. I had a lot of bad experiences since I was young and I don't know how I could make sure that those things won't happen again. I'm scared my baby would also be bullied just like how I was bullied. I don't know how I can make sure that he or she won't get tricked or cheated. Just thinking about these things make me feel so scared.
"Are you okay, Ma'am." She was handing me tissue. I didn't notice that I was already crying.
"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm just so happy that I can finally meet my child. After four months and I will be able to hold my baby in my arms.
"I know that feeling. I will make sure to cook good dishes for you everyday so you will feel happy. I remember when I had my first son, I also had the same feeling as yours but with the help of my husband, I felt reassured that I will be getting all the help that I need in raising him."
"You have a child? I didn't know that."
"I have two sons. They are both adults now and independent. I'm so proud of them even though I don't meet them often."
I just smiled while I listen to her stories about her family. She is right, if only I had Geoff planning with me about our baby's future, maybe I won't feel as scared as now. But that's not going to happen, I have to prepare raising my baby on my own.
In the afternoon, I spent my time thinking of what I will do in three months time. I have to leave here in my 8th month of pregnancy or else I can't leave here anymore. I checked my private bank account online. The money is not yet enough but I guess I can save more in the next three months.
...
A week after, my doctor revealed that I will be having a baby girl based on my sonogram results. Of course, I only had Nancy beside me when I found out about it. I sent a message to Geoff immediately. He is the father and I still have to pretend that there is nothing wrong with our marriage.
"That's wonderful. I will have her room renovated starting tomorrow. After that, we can start shopping for the room furniture her clothes. I'm so happy. I have always wanted to have a baby sister when I was young. I can't believe I will have a daughter instead." End of message.
He used the word "We". How I wished he used the word appropriately.
That night, he came home earlier than usual with a bouquet of roses. The last time he gave me flowers was when we were still dating. That was a long time ago.
"Thank you, honey. I love the flowers." I lied. How I wish he just gave me shopping money so I can add it in my savings.
"I'm so excited to finally meet our baby. I already instructed Michael to contact people who can renovate our baby's room. We will install CCTV in it so we can always hear her when she cries or when she needs something. I already thought of her name while I was at the office. Athena. How does that sound?" He asked. I have never heard him this excited. Since I told him I am pregnant, he never showed such interest. He seemed excited in the past but not as excited as this.
"Athena sounds beautiful. I love it." I still have to think whether I will be giving it to my baby or not.
"I cancelled all my appointments tomorrow so we can go shopping. Let's start buying all the things that she needs tomorrow, okay?"
"I think it is too early for that. How about we wait until her room is finished then we can start filling it with her stuff." I suggested. Actually, I planned to buy a lot of things for her in the past but I realized it is not good for me to carry a lot of stuff when I leave here so I never thought of buying my baby's clothes in advance.
"Nope. We start buying tomorrow." Why did he ask me when he already made a decision. How pretentious!
I smiled as a reply. It is always wise to agree than to argue with this kind of man.
True to his words, the next day, we went to baby shops to buy everything that we think our baby needs. Actually, I was not very excited in choosing what to buy because I'm sure my baby won't be using them anyway but seeing the excitement on his face makes me feel a little guilty. There were times when I asked myself whether he is really in love with another woman other than me. I asked myself whether this is really happening. From what I see now, he seems genuine in his feelings and actions.
Most of the furniture he chose were pink. It's my first time to go shopping with someone as rich as him. He just got everything he wants without looking at the price tag. I secretly look at each of them and was always surprised with how expensive they are.
"Are you sure we need all these things? How big is our baby's room? Can it accommodate all the things that we bought?" I asked. I was hoping he would stop choosing things so we could just go home.
"I planned two rooms for her. One is for her bedroom and the other is her wardrobe. She can also put her toys in that room."
"Honey, she is just a baby. We don't need to have a big room for her. What we need is a room where you and me can move around easily when we take care of her." I explained.
He held my hand and kissed, something that he hasn't done for a long time. "She is our treasure so we should give her whatever she deserves." He said.
I had to pinch myself many times to remind myself about my plan and how this man was irresponsible in the past months. I don't want to fall in love with him again and be hurt in the end. Enough with the stupidity!
In the next days, I and Geoff were so busy doing the same things, shopping and talking about our baby. After a month, the room is finally complete. It is a room similar to a princess'. The whole room has a Disney princess themed and the furniture matched the theme. Some were repainted. In the middle is a crib that I and Geoff chose. Beside it is a sofa where people can take a rest or stay. The floor has a carpet and stuff toys are neatly arranged in the corner. I was touched of how this room was perfectly designed. How I wish my daughter could really use it. The past month is a roller coaster of emotion for me. One part of me says I have to stay here and let my daughter enjoy the things that are really for her. I need a sign.