OMG!
Where in the world is my diary?! I remember I have six diary books. I opened the lowest drawer of my bedside table where I put them and to my surprise, they are also gone! I tried to calm myself down, I need to think clearly. Maybe, at some point in the past, I put them somewhere. Maybe, I chose a place where I can put them so no one can accidentally read them. But where?
I opened my wardrobe to check whether I put my diaries in there. I removed all the clothes in all wardrobe layers, but I couldn't find my diary! I wrote everything in there since I was 20. All my hopes, my dreams, fantasies, and desires are all there. My diary is like my best friend who knows me from head to foot.
The person sending me the gifts, I'm sure that person has my diary. He or she knows what I want exactly. But how would I know who that person is. Lance! He's the only one who came in my place. I'm sure he got my diary and I'm sure he's the one who sent me those presents. How could he hurt me so much? How could he make me so scared? Does he really hate me?
I got my phone to call him. The phone just got ringing but there was no answer. I kept calling many times, actually more than ten times, but no one picked it up. Maybe, he has a gig with his band mates today. I will try again later.
I walked back and forth my room thinking what to do next. I can't just stay here doing nothing. If the entries in my diary are just my daily routine, then I wouldn't feel so worried like now, but it contains everything about me. The people that I liked and the people that I hated. And if the diary notes are with Lance, I'm sure he will tell everyone about it so he can destroy me.
I was thinking to call the police and complain about it, but I am sure they will just laugh at me and think that I am crazy and consider me a weird old woman for writing a diary. I'm 30 years old for Pete's sake! Why on earth would middle-aged woman write a diary?
I wanted to cry, I felt hopeless, but my mind was just blank. I don't know how long I have sat on my bed looking at my bedside table when my phone rang. It is Lance. I picked it up immediately.
"Hello! Did you get my diary?" I asked at once.
"Oh, hi. Is that the reason why you were calling?"
"What do you expect? Just answer my question. Did you get my diary or not? I lost all my diary books! They are damn important to me."
"Sorry, Jez. Yeah, I got them, but I was only planning to borrow them. I planned to give them back to you once I read everything. I wanted to know if you also missed me after you left."
I felt a bit relieved. At least now I know where they are. "Give them back to me, then. How could you steal them from me? If you want to know something you could have asked me directly. I will answer all your questions and you know I seldom lie so you can trust that I will answer all your questions honestly."
"That's the problem. That's the reason why I was calling you in the past days. I feel guilty."
"Just give them back to me and I can forgive you, please." I begged.
"I don't have your diaries anymore. I swear I put them in my locker in the bar, I was planning to give them back to you the next day. But they were gone. I'm sorry. I am trying my best to look for them. Please give me some time, Jez. I will give them back to you. I know how important they are in your life."
I was speechless for a moment. I don't know whether I would believe this guy or not. Who on earth would be interested in getting my diary aside from him?
"Liar! Do you expect me to believe your story after everything you have done? Give me back my diary before I complained to the police! If you really know how important they are to me, you wouldn't get them in the first place. You don't have any right to read them because they are not yours and they are not meant for you." I was shaking with anger when I said that. This man is unbelievable!
"I cannot give something back when I don't have them anymore. The problem was there was no CCTV in that area, so I really don't know what happened. Please believe me, I don't have any reason to lie. If I want to lie, I could tell you that I didn't get them. Please, Jez." He sounds sincere.
"How can I believe you again?" I started crying. I didn't want to cry but it was like my life becoming public. All my thoughts and secrets are now exposed not only to Lance but to someone who got my diary. And who knows if that person shared that to others. My life became an open book for people who are bored and just want to have fun.
"I'm really sorry. I promise I will try to look for them, okay? I will not stop until I find out who took them, and I will give them back to you. Please, trust me in this one." I didn't have a choice but to give him that trust. I can't do anything for now.
I hang up and just cried for an hour or two. I felt so helpless. I was happy in the last couple of days because of the attention I was getting. I didn't know that this short happiness has a big consequence.
I need to find out who sends me the gifts. I'm sure that person has my diary. I will find out who that person is no matter what. I will make him or her pay!
…
I couldn't sleep well that night. I tried my best to sleep because I was tired physically, mentally and emotionally but my brain kept telling me that I need to find my diary. I cannot feel relaxed and take a rest knowing that someone or some people out there know everything about me and what's worse is I don't know who he or she is. I tried to think who the people I met for the past days but since Lance said my diary books disappeared in the bar, I cannot suspect anyone. I am not even sure whether I would believe what Lance said but do I have a choice?
I checked the time. It is already 5 a.m. and I never slept yet. I went back to bed, close my eyes and tried to meditate. It was good to know that today is Saturday and I don't need to face other people. I'm sure I will look like a zombie if I go out. I tried to remove the diary out of my brain, I need to be energized tomorrow.
I woke up already too bright in my room. I got my phone to check the time and it is 9:30 a.m. I am already thankful to be able to sleep for four hours. I remember my diary and I started feeling sick and hopeless again. I got up from my bed to wash and make coffee. I need to think clearly so I know what to do next. I have to meet the person sending me presents.
After drinking coffee, I prepared to take a shower when the doorbell rang. Although a bit scared, I got to the door immediately and peeped in the small hole on the door to check who it is. It is the security personnel from the first floor. I opened the door immediately.
"Good morning ma'am." He said.
"Good morning. How may I help you? Anything bad happened?"
"No ma'am. I am just going from one door to another to remind everyone that we have a water interruption in our building from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. for an annual maintenance. We posted the notice on the entrance but I'm sure some people don't check the things posted on there so if you have to do something that requires water, please do so before 11 a.m."
"Oh, thank you for the info. Are there other things you want to tell me?" I asked. I was actually expecting that he has more things to say especially something that can lead me to my diary.
"That's it ma'am. Sorry for bothering you. Have a nice day."
"You, too." And I closed the door. I was a bit disappointed since I really don't have any clue where to start looking for my lost possession.
I went back to the bathroom and took a shower. I decided to prepare lunch since I only have 30 minutes before the water interruption. While I was preparing food, the doorbell rang again.
I almost ran for the door and opened it instantly without even checking who it is. When I opened the door, I saw a woman with a child aged about 5 to 7 years old in front.
"Good morning. We are your neighbours. We live just next to your door. I hope we are not disturbing you," said the older woman.
"Good morning. You are not disturbing me at all. I am just preparing lunch. And sorry if I don't know who you are. How may I help you?"
"Carol. Please call me Carol. This is my daughter Emily."
"Hi there." Sweet voice coming from the cute girl.
"Anyway, today is Emily's birthday and I am preparing a small party for her. She wants to invite some of our neighbours since there will only be a few visitors. If you are busy, we are totally okay."
"Happy birthday there, young lady. I have nothing to do today so I guess I can come over to your place. What time is the party?" I said. I need to find a distraction so as not to think solely about my diary the whole day. I think nothing will happen today. This will be a good opportunity for me to divert my attention. And Emily looks very sweet.
"That's lovely. The party starts at 2 p.m. We will expect you." Carol said.
"Sure. I will be there. Thank you for inviting me. Do I need to bring anything? Do you need something?"
"No. Your presence would already mean so much for us especially for Emily."
"That's so nice of you. I will see you then later."
"Bye Emily. Happy birthday again."
I went back to what I was doing and started thinking of something I can bring to the party. It wouldn't be so nice of me to go there empty-handed. I was thinking of food but what if they already prepared a lot.
After cooking, I decided to go to the stationery store opposite to the apartment building where I live. I settled to get some stickers, crayons, coloring pens and books. I hope she would like these, I told myself.
While I was in the counter to pay, I got some sticky notes which I can use in the office. I handed the things I was buying to the clerk along with my card which I will be using for paying. The clerk got the items except my card which I didn't mind since maybe she wants to check how much I have to pay first.
She handed me the bag with the receipt and smiled. "Thank you for shopping."
"There must be a mistake. I didn't pay yet. You didn't get my card." I was smiling, thinking that she might incur some penalty for missing a payment from customers.
"No ma'am Jessica. It has already been settled." The clerk said with a fixed smile of her face.
"How did you know my name?" I asked confused.
"You are one of our VIP customers ma'am. And we were instructed that whenever you come here to purchase something, we don't need to ask for your payment since it will be deducted directly to your VIP account. You are Miss Jessica Myers, right?"