"Kamikishiro Naoko is dead. You should forget about her," was all that was written in the letter. It looked like a computer print out.
"What?" I picked up the envelope and studied it for a moment, but all it had listed on it was my name "Kimura Akio" and home address. There was no return address at all, and judging from the stamp, it had been posted in the same town where I attended high school.
At first, I thought it must be a prank by one of my old classmates. My little fling with Kamikishiro kind of became public knowledge after it ended.
But it seemed a little late for that. Two full years had passed since I'd seen her, and it was a little late for this kind of prank.
Still, she vanished abruptly during my second year, and I still don't know why she disappeared. I don't think anybody knows. Did anybody ever really know what she was thinking?
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Kamikishiro Naoko and I first hooked up in a pretty strange kind of way.
This all took place not too long after the spring term had begun.
I was smoking a Caster Mild around the back of the school one day at lunch, when a boy and a girl showed up. Luckily for me, I was hiding behind a tree, so they didn't see me.
There was kind of a long, meaningful silence, so I took that opportunity to hide even better, hoping to get an eyeful.
But they barely even looked at each other, they just sort of stood there, fidgeting.
(Ah, ha...)
Just as I got it figured out, the girl opened her mouth.
"Did you... Read the letter?" she asked, clasping her hands.
"Mm," he said evasively.
The whole thing was kind of old-fashioned, and I was just about to lose interest when the boy suddenly looked around nervously and asked, "You are alone... Right?"
"Huh?" she blinked. And so did I. Most people usually come alone at moments like this. Of course, there are some losers that need their friends to goad them on.
"So you're not going to beat me up or something?" he asked, relieved.
What, was this kid afraid of girls or something?
Then I finally noticed.
His slippers were blue, and hers were yellow. Our school has it set up so that each grade has a different color. I was wearing green ones. The boy was a first year, and the girl was third year.
"No, nothing like that!" she exclaimed. The moment that I knew she was my senpai, she started looking extremely grown up... And hot. I'm pretty picky when it comes to girls, but I could tell she had makeup on that subtly made her eyes look bigger. But it was natural makeup, so that the teachers would never notice. It was also obvious that she worked pretty hard at making herself always look cheerful.
But the other one, this first year kid, looked like a child. He was a baby-faced pretty boy, but kind of ordinary. But hey, some girls are into that.
"Then what is it?" he asked the older girl vacantly.
"You know..." she said, turning red and staring at her feet.
Her expression clearly showed that it wasn't anything but what it was.
(Huh...)
But I also knew how the kid felt. He couldn't figure out why. Why was this pretty senior asking a kid like him out? It was natural to be dubious instead of happy.
Of course now I'm in college, I know loads of girls who have boyfriends younger than them. But that just doesn't happen in high school. Up to high school, you're in a sort of unmistakable feudal system. A girl could date a college guy or a Junior High kid or anyone she wanted to outside of school, but there was an unwritten rule that she could only date boys older than her on the inside.
"Umm... Kamikishiro-san?" he asked, very troubled. This is where I learned her name.
"What?" she replied, looking at him with a mixture of anxiety and expectation. Men find this kind of look hard to say no to.
But he was looking away and didn't see it.
"I'm sorry! I just can't do this!" he sort of shrieked as he turned and ran away.
"Ah...!" Kamikishiro almost chased after him, but stopped herself. Her shoulders slumped.
From behind, I could see her head hung down and a little sideways. Somehow, this angle made her all the more beautiful, like some sort of female Don Quixote, fighting the invisible school rules. Got to say, it impressed the shit out of me.
While I was off feeling all impressed, she suddenly rolled her head around like an old man getting out of the bath.
"Not again," she said exhaustedly, and then spun round and looked right at me.
I didn't have time to hide. Our eyes met.
"Enjoyed the show? Ah ha ha!" she laughed, and strolled over to me. She'd known that I was there the whole time.
"Uh, n-no. I didn't mean to watch," I said, scrambling.
She reached out her hand, and said, "My fee," as she pulled a Caster Mild out of my pocket. "Damn, I've been dying for a nicotine hit all day."
She stuck the cigarette between her lips and looked at me expectantly. I hurriedly lit it.
"Pretty smooth," she said with a smirk. She let out a big puff of smoke. Her manner was the polar opposite of a moment before.
But looking at her profile, I could make out the tear track. "You were serious," I said, expecting her to deny it and move on.
But instead, she just nodded and said, "You bet I was."
She slumped into a crouch and continued, "Serious as I've ever been." She hugged her knees to her chest and buried her face in her skirt. "Why can't we pick who we fall in love with? It would be so much easier..." she said forlornly.
"Well, yeah, true, but frankly, I think you're better off getting rejected by a guy like that," I said in a very honest tune.
She looked up. Her tears had made her eyeliner run a bit. Unexpectedly, she said, "...Don't."
"What?"
"Don't be nice to me. I don't want to fall for you too."
"What?!" I yelped, completely off balance now. She stood up, no longer crying, and smiled. "Just kidding. But you're a good guy. So, what's your name?"
"Kimura, 2-B."
"I'm Kamikishiro, 3-F. You planning on going to class this afternoon?"
"Not really." I had Modern Japanese and Political Science left, but I was planning on skipping them.
"Then I'll buy you something. You know, pay you hack for cheering me up. C'mon, I know a way out the back," she winked naughtily.
And that's basically how we got started.
That's pretty much what we were like the whole time. We were never really 'in love,' as such. We might have looked like we were from the outside or something, but she never really fell for me. At least, I don't think she did. That was two years ago.