Beep!
Beep!
Beep!
It is Friday, I roll over and turn off my alarm with a little more enthusiasm than needed. Last night I had that dream again except the guy didn't leave me behind, he grabbed my hand and pulled me into the light with him. It feels like my dreams are mimicking my reality because I feel myself coming alive with each passing day. I check the weather to figure out an outfit for today and proceed to begin my morning ritual. The weather isn't going to be too bad, low sixties and partly cloudy. I'll wear my white v neck t shirt, destructed light blue jeans, and boats shoes. I put on my necklace with the peacock pendant and put on a little lip gloss to finish my look for the day. This week has gone by so fast and with each day I change a little more for the better.
Knock
Knock
Knock
"Lena could you give us a ride to school, we don't feel like walking and dad's already gone," Journee yells outside my door.
"Yeah, I'll give you guys a ride. I'll be out in a few minutes," I call back. I go into the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash and moisturize my face, and fix my twist out. I put on a little body spray and grab my jean jacket, bag, and wristlet and leave my room.
I get to the kitchen and see that Journee is there and ready, but Jackson isn't anywhere that I can see him.
"Where's Jackson? Are you guys ready or what," I ask looking around for him.
"He's fixing his hair, he should be ready soon," Journee says.
"Okay, is mom here or did she leave too," I ask.
"She went in to the office today, she said she had a morning meeting with a client or something," she says looking me over.
"Ah, okay," I say.
"Sis, you look nice today. Are you okay," Journee asks.
"Yeah, I'm better than okay. Thanks," I say smiling at her. I should've known the twins would notice my changes even though they're still in high school they are perceptive to things like this.
"That's good. It seems like you're in a better mood or headspace I should say," Journee says.
"It's been a while huh? I was lost a little while ago; I don't plan on going back there," I say to Journee.
Her and Jackson have had a front row seat to my depression and self-imposed isolation and have been stepping up to be more responsible in the wake of it all.
"Yeah, it has. I'm glad you overcame your depression sis. We knew you would," she says smiling at me.
"Yeah, I am too," I say walking over to squeeze her hand reassuringly letting her know it's all going to work out just fine.
"Yoo, big sis! Why are you dressed so nice? Got a boyfriend or something," Jackson asks as he slings his bag onto his shoulder.
"Nope, no boyfriend. Just feeling myself, can't I do that," I respond back to him knowing he's just being silly.
"Yeah, I guess. It's been a minute though, I'm glad you feeling yourself sis," he says patting my head because he's protective of me even though I'm the older sister.
"Thanks Jackson and you too Journee. I really appreciate it guys! Now let's get y'all to school before y'all are late," I say proudly. They really are growing up fast, it's only a three year difference between the twins and me, but I've always been responsible for them. We leave and lock up the house and go to my car. The twins both sit in the backseat leaving the passenger seat available for my bag, I let the car warm up before pulling off.
"So what have you guys been up to? I haven't seen y'all like all week," I ask the twins.
"What have YOU been up to," they reply in unison. I see they're in sync this morning.
"Huh," I say feigning innocence. I haven't been home before they go to bed all week and barely see them in the morning. I've been hanging out and studying with the girls all week it's been really chill being around them again.
"You haven't been home like all week, for real," Jackson says.
"Right, so do you have a boyfriend," Journee asks following right behind Jackson.
"Nah, I told y'all before I don't have a boyfriend. I've been hanging out with Rylie and Nova; studying and having dinner," I reply to their interrogation.
"Uh huh, it's been a long time since you've looked like this though. All happy and what not. Hair all done and lip gloss poppin'," Jackson says perceptively.
"Yeah, I know. That break up with Jay was bad for me y'all. I was lost for a while; I'm just finding my new self and practicing a little more self-love," I say candidly. The twins have always been perceptive and I've never really tried to hide anything from them because I literally can't. They notice everything and can be very understanding.
"Yeah, we know. That's why we can't forgive him," Journee says seriously.
"You should. Forgive and move on. I am, it wasn't easy for me, but once the haze lifted I ran whole heartedly out of it. I don't hate him anymore, it's not worth my energy and you guys shouldn't waste your energy on it either," I say with the wisdom I've gained from the whole ordeal.
"Yeah, you're right big sis," Jackson says.
"Thanks y'all I appreciate you guys more than you know," I say because it's true. I pull up to the school and they get out the car.
"Thanks sis, see you later," Jackson says and hops out of the car.
"Thank you, see you later," Journee says closing the door and following behind Jackson.
"No problem," I reply before the door slams.
Whew! What a morning. I have to get something to eat, I could go home and make some breakfast…or I could go to the café. The café, I decide. I turn on the radio and listen to some old school R&B music on my way there. The conversation with the twins replay in my head again, they are maturing right before my eyes and I'm proud of them. There are times when they fight and don't speak to each other, but it never lasts long because they can't stand not speaking to each other for too long. Now anyone else they're giving the silent treatment to be out of luck, when one is mad at you, they're both mad at you like a married couple. I guess it's a twin thing. I'm glad they gave me space during the whole ordeal and were even nice enough to comment on my outfit and mood this morning.
I have missed feeling cute and positive. Unable to find a spot in front of the café I end up parking on the side of the building and having to walk around to the front. Good thing the weather isn't bad today. I go inside and the familiar smell of coffee hits me and I stand in line thinking about what I want to eat. As the line moves along I decide on a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich on a croissant with hash browns and orange juice; I'll get my coffee to go later. I order my food and head over to my spot to drop my bag in a chair to save my space while I'm waiting for my breakfast. As I am waiting I pull out some notes to go over for my Biology class, exams are coming soon and I want to be as prepared as possible. As I'm going over my notes I hear the cashier call my order so I go to retrieve it. On my way back to my table I notice someone sitting there with their head down. I have no idea who it could be so I pick up the pace because my stuff is still there and who in hell would sit at a table that's clearly taken.
"Excuse me," I say as politely as I possibly can in this situation. Not only did they sit down, but they put their head down as if they're taking a nap. As I'm waiting for this person to move I start to recognize a certain scent and as it fills my nostrils I decide to sit down.
"Good morning Lena," Mekhi says in his velvet voice with his panty busting smile turned all the way up while sitting up.
"G-good morning," I say breathless. His voice is also panty busting, I've decided because I can't stop my heart from hammering away in my chest.
"Is it alright if I sit with you," he says still smiling.
"It's alright with me," I say regaining my composure. Why does he have this effect on me, I barely know him and he hasn't even touched me.
"Cool," he says and folds his hands on the table.
"Sooooo, you just got here or something," I ask wanting to know how long he'd been here and if I was oblivious to him being there the entire time.
"I've been here for a little while, I had met some guys from the team here after morning workouts. I was going to leave, but I saw you sitting over here looking all pretty so I wanted to come and say what's up," he replies licking his lips watching my reaction.
"Oh, so you're stalking me now," I say because I just don't know what else to say. The way he just licked his lips has sent my heart racing and I can feel the blush burning away at my ears. This man calls to me on a level I had no idea even existed; like I can't even control myself.
"I'd say it was you stalking me. I was here first," he says laughing a little.
"Yeah, but you showed up to my spot so that makes you the stalker," I say giggling.
"True, so what's up," he says staring me in my eyes.
"Nothing," I say breathless. I'm immediately disarmed by him.
"Are you going to come to the game tomorrow," he says reading my face.
"I planned on it," I say recovering myself and taking a bite of my sandwich.
"Planned," he asks watching me eat.
"Yeah, I'll be there at some point," I say before taking a sip of my orange juice.
"'Some point' so do you not want to see me tomorrow," he asks tilting his head to the side raising an eyebrow.
"I was under the impression that I was there to see the basketball game," I reply smoothly patting my inner self on the back.
"Huh, you like to play I see," he says smiling.
"Just a little bit," I say before I take a bite of my sandwich.
"Well, I'd really like for you to come see me play in the game tomorrow," he says leaning across the table looking me in the eyes.
"Okay, I'll come," I say in a small voice while looking him in his eyes. I feel myself mesmerized and I can't break the trance he's holding on me.
"I know you will," he says filled with some other implication unless it's just me and my raging hormones. He sits back giving me space to finish my sandwich.
"Do you want some of my hash browns," I offer because my stomach is so full of butterflies I don't think I'll be able to eat them all.
"No thank you love, I ate already," he says with a half-smile.
"Seriously, I don't think I'll be able to finish it all. I guess I'm not as hungry as I thought I was," I say with my own half-smile.
"You may want them later," he says leaning forward a little taking one in his hand and raising it to my mouth. I open my mouth and accept the hash brown from him.
"Hmm, you're probably right," I say licking my lips and taking another sip of my orange juice.
"I know," he says offering me another hash brown and like the fool I am, I accept it. This goes on until about half of my hash brown discs are left.
"You're going to force feed me I see," I say biting my lip because I don't know what's going on and yet I like it and don't want it to stop.
"Baby it's not force when you are a willing participant," he says in that panty busting voice and the blush is burning away as I try to steady my heart.
"Hmm," I say for lack of better words because I currently have none; all of my nerve endings are standing at attention and my heart is steady fluttering.
"You look nice today Lena," he says sitting back in his chair.
"T-thank you," I manage to say not wanting to be rude.
"Well, I have to get out of here my class is getting ready to start," he says standing to leave.
"Okay," I say standing as well.
"I'll see you tomorrow at the game," he says knowing that I'm going to show up.
"Yes, tomorrow," I confirm with him.
"Can I hug you," he asks with that velvet voice and half-smile.
"Yes," I say and nod my head at the same time. We both walk around the table to meet and before
I'm mentally ready he gives me this long almost crushing hug. As we hug I feel a warmth spread through me that I haven't felt before and it feels amazing. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and let his delicious scent fill my mind; he smells so amazing. I feel like I'm falling and I'm not sure I want to be saved.
"I hope to see you tomorrow baby," he whispers in my ear as he releases me.
"You will," I say in a daze watching him walk away.
I have to tell myself to sit back down after he walks out the door because my brain and body are currently not in sync. What was that warmth I felt spread through me as he hugged me? I ask myself. Good grief that man is driving me insane! Today was only my second time seeing and being with him and it felt so normal like this is what I'm supposed to be doing. How is that and I barely know him? What will tomorrow bring? It's like time stands still when I'm with him and nothing else matters. Speaking of time….shit! I have thirty minutes to get to my first class this morning. I won't take that coffee to go after all. I finish my orange juice, gather my things, and haul ass out the door to my car. I end up making it to class with a few minutes to spare; I look out the window and I see Mekhi surrounded by the girls that Rylie and Nova told me about. I smile to myself knowing that just a little while ago we were in our own bubble.