Chapter One
"Hey babe, are we still on for this Friday?" I asked my boyfriend, Derrick Osore, over the phone.
"Of course Msupa. Can't wait to see you." He replied and I felt a blush spread across my cheeks. He had such a lovely voice, like whiskey and syrup blended. Derrick and I had been dating for about two months but honestly, I fell in love with him the very first time we met. It was during the August long holiday and my best friend Sally invited me to a party to celebrate our last hurray before sitting for the Kenya Certificate of Secondary Education (KCSE).
Derrick was the performing artist at the party and when I heard him sing his hit 'Baby Girl' my heart lit up with the knowledge 'I want!'. We cozied up for the party's duration and when I got home that night I got a text from him saying 'he liked my vibe' and 'wanted to hang out'.
Between blushing and giggling, I accepted.
I went back to school for my final term in High School and now that I was home for an extended duration, we planned to go on a road trip with our mutual friends. Well, mostly his.
"Remember to carry your sleeping bag. I intend to share with you," he said over the phone and I let out a giggle.
"Oh my gosh, you're such a joker! We can't fit in one sleeping bag-"
Just then my mum walked into my room and stood arms akimbo.
"Babe I need to go. We'll chat later," I said and hung up without waiting for his reply. I turned to my mum whose face was pinched with derision.
"Who was that on the phone?" she asked.
"Mum why don't you ever knock? Can't you respect my privacy?" I threw back while standing to face her.
"Wamuyu this is my house and I will go to whichever room I please. Now answer my question, who were you talking with?"
"It was Derrick, okay?!" I shouted with frustration.
"Didn't I tell you to stop hanging out with that boy? Why do you want to give me High Blood Pressure?" Her voice rose a few octaves.
"Mum I am eighteen years old and he is my boyfriend! You don't have the right to tell me who to date." This was a recurring argument between us and my overbearing mother completely refused to listen to reason. I could not wait to go to university and get away from her.
"I told you that boy is bad news with his trashy music, rats' nest of hair and more tattoos than skin. Why don't you find a nice boy to date?" she asked with a deep sigh.
"For the millionth time his look is his artistic expression! I love him and guess what, this weekend I am going camping with him and you can't stop me."
My mother's face contorted with anger and her mouth formed a flat line, "you are not going anywhere with him, do you hear me? In fact I was coming to inform you that you are going to your grandma's place for the holidays."
My heart hammered with righteous anger and tears pricked my eyes. "Why are you like this Mum? Why do you treat me like a child? Please don't do this! Please! I have been looking forward to this t-trip." My voice broke.
"Look Wamuyu, despite what you think I have your best interests at heart. You are not going anywhere with that boy, you are going to stay with your Cũcũ Wamuyu until your KCSE results are released. Do you hear me? While you live in my house, eating the food I provide and wearing the underwear I buy, you will do as I say. End of discussion."
CHAPTER TWO
Two days later, after having cried tears twice my body mass, I was on the bus headed to Kagochi, Nyeri County. I had called Derrick with the bad news and to my dismay his reply was 'Bummer babe, I guess I'll find someone else to share a sleeping bag with, haha.' I hoped he was joking but the impending doom of staying with my crazy grandmother Wamuyu whose name I unfortunately shared deterred me from following up.
My grandmother could be described as 'eccentric' if you were trying to be polite. The more fitting description would be 'nuts, weird, a few marbles short'. I had gone out of my way to avoid one-on-one sessions with her during family get-togethers. Her beady eyes made one feel like death and judgment were near and every time we made eye contact, a full body shiver followed. Ick.
Cũcũ Wamuyu fancied herself a traditional healer as well as spiritual mother, whatever that means. She 'communicated' with the earth and the trees and animals and believed she had mystical powers. Crazy, right? I hoped that I could piss her off enough that she sent me back home. Of course my Mum's imparting words at the bus station made me curious. Let her teach you. What on earth did that mean? Furthermore, were other families this weird or had mine simply drank too much Kool-Aid from the Ragati River?
Two hours later, the bus stopped at Karatina stage and not a moment too soon. I had gotten exceedingly tired of being pressed up against the cold metal of the bus owing to my seatmate's man-spreading. I took a boda-boda to Kagochi and rebuffed the boda-boda rider's many attempts to engage me in conversation. Once we got to a street called Mwisho wa Lami, he said he could (would) not take me past that point because of the rocky and steep terrain. I begged him to reconsider and even offered to pay him extra, he did not budge. 'Perhaps I should have been more affable when he was story-telling,' I mused.
In the end I was not surprised when he left me by the street side, suitcase in hand and the sun hot on my face. After all dear granny lived at the very foot of Mount Kenya in the thicket of the forest, as far from humanity as she could get. Or maybe it was humanity that took its distance from her.
I trudged up the rough terrain cursing myself for wearing my fashionable wedges. Sure, they made my legs look glorious and added some much needed height but I would have killed for converse sneakers right then. Of course my mum had tried to tell me to wear flat, comfortable shoes but I had already given her all I was willing.
Had this stinking path always been so long, narrow and bloody rocky? I wondered as I clambered upwards. There were no other houses in the area, none I could see at least. Then I saw it up ahead. The wooden house had not changed much from the last time I was here back in Form Three. It was still derelict, still blackened with soot on the outside and still quaint. Small.
As I neared the compound, the overwhelming scent of burnt sage and rosemary mingled with cow dung assaulted me. I had arrived. Yay.
I knocked on the wooden door and waited shifting on my feet. A beat later the door opened to reveal my grandmother Wamuyu. She had not changed at all. Her eyes were still beady and black, her face was wrought with wrinkles and her long hair was a shocking white. Like me, she was short and petit with a chocolate complexion.
"Hi Cũcũ," I greeted.
"Wamuyu, you have done well to come," she said in old Kikuyu dialect. She stepped aside to allow me passage and I entered the sitting room. "I guess there's no hug then," I mumbled under my breath and sat in an old brown couch which had seen many generations. It was lumpy in a way that made me constantly shift on my weight trying to get comfortable.
My grandmother was not an affectionate woman. From my Mum's recollection of her childhood, my grandmother's show of affection was rubbing her back or placing her hand on mum's forehead as a greeting or imparting of blessing. It was a mystery to me how she had given birth to eight children. Perhaps they were immaculate conceptions given by mother earth. I snorted under my breath.
Cũcũ took a seat opposite me. "How's everyone at home?"
"They're okay. Wamae got a job and Njeri is still in University. Mum and dad send their love," I replied while wondering whether my elder siblings Wamae and Njeri had gotten a similar summoning when they turned eighteen.
"I'm about to head to the forest for some herbs. Rest up, we'll talk in the evening," she said in the same drone like tone, her face devoid of any emotion.
"Great! Can't wait," I said with mock enthusiasm and from the way she narrowed her eyes at me, she did not miss the sarcasm.
Once alone, I traded my wedges for Cucu's almost new sandals, thank God she had an aversion to shoes. I then fished my phone out of my bag and dialed Derrick's number. Surprise surprise, there was no network in the house. I walked around the compound trying to find the elusive network to no avail. In the end I climbed a tree and balanced on a wobbly branch. Finally, a bar! I dialed his number again and waited.
"Hey Mresh, niaje," Derrick greeted. I could hear indistinguishable voices in the background and felt a pang of envy.
"Hey babe, are you guys on the road?"
"Yep, already in Nakuru. We're about to stop for a bite," he said.
"Oh my gosh you cannot believe the day I'm having! I sat next to this awful guy on the bus who did not know the meaning of personal space, then the nduthi guy refused to take me all the way to granny's house. My Cũcũ is super weird, did I tell you how she…" I had roaring laughter and more indistinguishable voices in the background.
"Derrick?"
More indistinguishable chatter.
"Derrick?" I repeated my voice a notch higher.
"Look babe, we're about to make a stop. Let's talk later okay?" he said.
"Okay but I really miss yo-" The line went off. I felt awash with loss and anger. I could have been in Nakuru on a fun trip with my boyfriend but instead I was in the middle of goddamn nowhere perched on a tree. Thanks a bunch mum.
CHAPTER THREE
I had forgotten how cold it got in the evenings here. So cold that my bones were stiff with it. As was typical of evenings here upcountry, we gathered in the kitchen for warmth of the fireplace. It was completely separate from the house and was located a few metres away. The inside was entirely covered in soot because of years of burning firewood under the three stones.
The little kitchen which eternally smelled of smoke was lit with a lamp. About three years back, the government had spearheaded a project to bring electricity to rural areas at an incredibly subsidized rate. Everyone in Kagochi could now boast of electricity, save my grandmother of course who had refused to move with the times.
What others considered development she considered subjugation. Electricity was apparently 'corrosion of our ways'. I did not deem it to tell her that even lamps and candles were inventions of the west. The sun was perhaps the only source of light we had claim to, gifted to us by nature.
The fireplace quickly warmed my cold bones and I traded clean air for warmth. I coughed unceasingly because of the smoke but Cũcũ said nothing and proceeded to cook. Tonight we would have mukimo, a traditional food consisting of potatoes, maize, beans and green vegetables mashed together. Back at home mukimo was accompanied by beef or chicken stew. Here? We ate it dry then drank tea. Sugarless tea.
"Do you know the story of our origin?" Cũcũ asked.
I humored her, "Aah sure. God created the universe in six days, on the sixth day he created man then later created woman for him and voila we came to be."
She shook her head, "I don't mean the hogwash you've been fed by those white people! I speak of our truth, our ways."
"Ookay, if you mean the traditional story about Gikuyu and Mumbi then yes. The education system did not forget an honorary mention," I said with a smirk.
"Girl you will not give me lip. And put away that phone! It is the devil's work," she said vehemently. I had been looking at selfies of Derrick and me. Gah I missed him so much. With his dreadlocks, his canvas of body tattoos, his pierced nose, lip and tongue. That tongue…he was such an incredible kisser. The way he-
"Wamuyu did you hear what I said? Wamuyu? Wamuyu!" she snapped me out of my revelry.
"Yes! Yes I hear you. Jeez."
"Put that phone away," she said, "your mother told me how you've been acting out. How disrespectful you have become."
"Cũcũ I really really don't want to discuss about mum and me! Of course you're taking her side without even hearing my side of the story."
"Child, you have ways to grow yet. Your mother only wants what's best for you."
"Uh-huh. Right. Was there something else you wanted to discuss or may I be excused?" I asked flatly.
"Tomorrow morning you will join me on the trail to the Mũgumo. We shall discuss more then," she said observing me avidly.
"Fine."
*****************************************************************************
I was woken up unceremoniously by unceasing nudging of my shoulder.
"Grr, go away!" I said burrowing deeper in the mattress.
"Wake up Wamuyu. We're leaving in thirty minutes," my grandmother said tossing the blankets I was covered with at the foot of the bed. The cold air forced me awake and I sat up and blinked my eyes open. My phone informed me it was 5.30 am.
"Cũcũ are you serious? It is still dark outside!"
"It's a long journey and the day is short. I have warmed some water for you. Freshen up then meet me in the kitchen," she said and left me in a stupor.
I grumbled under my breath about the unfairness of it all, but woke up all the same recognizing that even if I rebelled I would likely not get any more sleep. The room I was using had a distinct smell of 'old' and 'damp' that had made sleep hard to come by the night before; and no matter what my mother said, old was absolutely a smell.
One semi-warm shower later, I joined my grandmother in the kitchen for a cup of porridge so sour it made my eyes water. My grandmother eyed me disapprovingly the entire time and I had finally had enough.
"Out with it Cũcũ! What have I done now? Am I slurping the porridge too loudly?" I asked her.
She sighed, "what are you wearing? Go back and wear something decent. We're going before Mwene Nyaga's presence and I will not have you shame me."
I looked down at my red thermal leggings and raised an eyebrow at her, "how on earth is this indecent?"
"It leaves nothing to the imagination! What exactly are you advertising? Nobody needs to know how much your hips have widened since puberty, okay?"
I thought of arguing back on the decency of my clothes or more specifically, that she had no say on what I chose to wear. In the end out of self-preservation and avoidance of butting heads, I wore a long trench coat over my leggings. She looked me over once and said nothing. I took that to mean approval and matched her pace as we left the homestead.
The sun was already peeking through the dark morning clouds and I quietly appreciated it's warmth on my face. We walked in silence until we joined a wide road that merged to the shopping center. Seeing other people and shops made of brick was a welcome change from the wilderness my grandmother resided in. Soon after seeing the people on the road, I noticed they gave my grandmother a wide berth. They went out of their way not to make eye contact with her, and none of them greeted her as is typical of small towns where everyone knows everyone.
Before I could inquire about the strange reception, a small boy out of nowhere came barreling for my grandmother. "Hey Cũcũ Wamuyu!" he greeted exuberantly hugging her knees.
My grandmother's lips twitched with amusement and I watched with wonder as she greeted back the young boy with equal fervency. "Good morning Miano. Have you been a good boy for your mother?"
Just then, a woman draped in a leso and wearing a woolen hat on her head called out for him, "Miano can you get back here right now!" She appeared middle-aged and her face was stern with anger and…fear? What was that about?
The young boy ran to the woman who scooped him up and held him protectively against her bosom, all the while eyeing my grandmother warily from the corner of her eye. My grandmother walked on without saying a word and I followed her obediently.
After a mile we joined a slim footpath. The trees got longer and the path rockier the more we walked. It also appeared we were heading uphill evidenced by my heavy breathing and sweaty armpits. My grandmother had not broken a sweat, damn her.
"Why do they treat you like that?" I asked her my curiosity winning.
My grandmother's face closed unperceptively, "What are you talking about?"
I huffed, "you know exactly what I'm talking about. The villagers…they seemed almost afraid of you?"
"That's not for you to concern yourself with," she said, "instead you need to be thinking about your origin. And why I called you here."
I sighed deeply, I guess it was too much to hope she would treat me like an adult and talk to me. "Fine, I'll bite. What is my origin?"
"From God's knee came Gikuyu and Mumbi, our first parents," she said in a voice as old as time, "They gave birth to ten daughters: Wanjiru, Wambui, Wangari, Wanjiku, Wangui, Wangeci, Wanjeri, Nyambura, Wairimu and Wamuyu. It is said that each daughter had a set of gifts, a special understanding of the world and the elements of nature. The daughters got older, and they desired to marry. They called out to Mwene Nyaga and struck a bargain, they would relinquish their special gifts if only God would give them husbands. So then they did."
She continued, "Each daughter gave up her special gifts and got a husband, each but the very youngest, Wamuyu. She choose to keep her gifts and she is our ancestor. It is from her we came to be."
I furrowed my eyebrows, "if she chose her 'gifts' over a husband, how then are we her descendants?"
"Story goes that she fell in love with her sister Nyambura's husband, and they had an affair through which she conceived."
I whistled through my teeth, "wow that is seriously messed up! So what you're trying to say is that our direct descendant Wamuyu was not only a sucky human being who stole her sister's husband but she also had super powers? Haha that is rich!"
My grandmother turned sharply towards me, "do not take lightly the words I say! Wamuyu was incredibly powerful. She could whisper suggestions to the wind and it would be so. The earth sprouted flowers where she stood and birds of the air heed her voice. We are not here to cast judgment on her difficult love relationship."
"Then why are we here?"
"Because you need to understand who you are, and the gifts inside you," she said vehemently.
"Wait, what? Are you insinuating that I have these so called 'gifts'?"
"Yes you do Wamuyu. All Wamuyus have a seedling of 'deep understanding' inherited from the original Wamuyu. You are here so that I may help you tap into your true potential." She said and I burst out laughing. I laughed so hard till my ribs ached and tears streamed from my eyes.
"Oh my gosh Cũcũ, you had me there for a second! Special gifts pshaw! You sound like something out of a self-help book written by a gypsy," I said between guffawing.
"This is not a laughing matter young lady! We are approaching the shrine, show some decorum," she said as we stepped into a clearing. There was a large imposing Mũgumo tree surrounded by blooming flowers of different colours; beneath the Mũgumo was a grotto on which some artifacts were placed. A few meters left of the grotto was a geyser shrouded by trees. It was beautiful, I could admit. Well, until my grandmother told me to remove my shoes as we were on 'holy ground'.
"You shall join me in performing the spiritual dance," she said.
I rolled my eyes heavenwards, "I would rather just watch if it's all the same to you."
"You are not here to watch! You are here to appease Mwene Nyaga so that your gifts may be revealed to us."
"I am not interested okay? I am not interested in the story of origin, I am not interested in appeasing your god and I am sure as hell not interested in 'special gifts' or whatever the hell, okay?" I retorted, "gosh I knew you were crazy but this is a whole other level!"
I felt the slap on my face before I saw her move. Her face was tight with anger, "say what you will about me but I will not allow you to show disrespect to our God in His holy place, do you hear me?"
My cheek was hot with shame and pain, tears jabbed my eyes, "I hear you loud and clear. I'll find my way back home," I said and stalked off without waiting for her reply.
I walked for hours in the forest, trying to find my way to the main road and cursed my mother for having sent me here. I missed Derrick terribly and wondered how he was faring and if he missed me too. Once I got to the main road I headed straight to the shopping center to charge my phone whose battery was dangerously low. I passed time nursing a soda and nibbling on cake.
As I headed back to my grandmother's place I browsed Facebook and Instagram to soothe the ache of departure from civilization. It was on Instagram that I saw the photo. Derrick was shirtless all his tattoos exposed and there was a girl on his lap…wait, was that Sally perched on his lap? Scrolling down I saw the next photo were they were full blown kissing. His hand was clutching her butt and her fingers were wrapped around his dreadlocks. No! Nobody got to hold his dreadlocks like that, no one but me! My hands were trembling with hurt and anger as I dialed his number.
It rung a few times but no answer. I dialed again and waited. Don't panic Wamuyu! There's a perfectly good explanation. Maybe she slipped on a watermelon piece and fell on his lap and kissed him with gratitude? Maybe she's trying to extract a cavity from his mouth. I snorted under my breath at the inanity.
My phone vibrated under my palm. It was Derrick.
"What's wrong Msupa? I got a bunch of your missed calls," his voice was a soothing velvet.
"Babe! I was on Instagram and saw you kissing Sally!" my voice was high-pitched and whiny instead of cool as I had intended.
"Yes…"
"Could you explain what's going on? What's Sally even doing there?"
"I invited her after you cancelled," his voice remained unruffled, "and as for the kissing, what is there to explain really? Babe you understand I'm an artist right? I need inspiration and freedom of expression. I can't be tied down. My art can't be tied down. You get it right?"
"Er…but babe, I thought you and I are together…"
"Well we are…but sometimes I need something extra. You're cool right?"
"Isn't that c-cheating?" I whispered.
"Nah girl, it's not like that. It's an understanding. It's the way things are done now and I thought you were a cool chick. Am I wrong?"
"N-no of course not," I stuttered.
"Then you get it, right? We're cool?"
"Yes we ar---"
"Great! Chat later," he said hanging up.
My head was swirling with confusion and residual heartache. What had just happened? Be cool, Wamuyu! This is how things are done nowadays. It's his art. It's fluid expression. I repeated the mantra in my head over and over. Maybe if I said it enough times I would believe it.
CHAPTER FOUR
My grandmother and I existed in silence for two days, merely communicating when it was absolutely necessary. I watched many people come in and out of the compound seeking diagnosis and treatment from my grandmother. I shook my head at the stupidity, would people really rather watch an old woman stomp around barefooted chanting unknown gabble and pounding wild flowers and leaves rather than go to a modern hospital? None of them lingered or engaged her in personal conversation. They held themselves apart, and regarded her with a strange mixture of fear and awe.
On the third day she came to my room at the crack of dawn.
"Wamuyu, we need to talk," she said nudging me awake. I sat up and rubbed my hands over my face.
She breathed in, "You have been raised up in a completely different world from mine. I grew up with my grandmother, learning from her from a very tender age. I realize it is not fair for me to thrust you into my world without forewarning."
I recognized it as the best apology I would get. "I'm sorry I was disrespectful Cũcũ," I said.
She nodded, "would you like to escort me to the market?"
"Sure."
The market place was busy, with vendors and buyers playing the old game of price negotiation. My grandmother purchased chia seeds, thyme, parsley leaves and cinnamon. She pointed out a few more herbs and plants telling me their uses. I tried extra hard to appear interested. Stinging nettle for calcium, hibiscus for vitamin, wheatgrass for something or the other.
"We'll pass by Cũcũ Nyaguthii's home. She's one of my patients," she thankfully changed the subject.
The Nyaguthii homestead was the closest neighbor my grandmother could boast of, although it was about half a kilometer away. Like my grandmother's theirs was a wooden structure- only bigger, modern and well-cared for.
"I'll wait out here," I told my grandmother when she gestured towards the entrance of the house. I got a sense she was about to argue but in the end she said nothing and went inside. I stood under an avocado tree and it was there he found me.
"Hey Wamuyu."
He was tall and broad, with a bronze-like brown complexion and glimmering eyes as if he knew a secret.
"Uh…hey," I greeted wondering how he knew me.
"Do you remember me?" he asked with a smile. His voice was deep and his English was heavily coated with Kikuyu dialect. I glanced at the door of the house wondering when my grandmother would come out.
"Nope can't say I do," I said bored.
"I'm Mungai, Cũcũ Nyaguthii's grandson. We met when we were younger, when you came to visit your grandmother. I was friends with your brother Wamae…"
Suddenly, like a light bulb it clicked. "Oh, yes, yes, I remember! You were the snot-faced boy who gave me piggy back rides," I said and watched his cheeks go red.
"It was only that one time when I lost my handkerchief!" he defended.
"Nope. It was every single time…mzungu anachungulia dirisha," I laughed at the memory.
"Oh man, there you go destroying my street cred," he laughed unabashedly. He had a great laugh, deep and genuine.
"How have you been?" I asked. We talked for a while, and he told me that he was currently in University in his second year. He was studying Business Administration and did some art on the side. The more he spoke the more aware of him I became. Why was I suddenly noticing the sheer breadth of his shoulders? Or how he blocked the sun with his large dominating frame when he stood in front of me, so that I could feel the warmth but not be scorched? Or his large hands tapered and- snap out of it Wamuyu! You have a boyfriend, remember? Sure he's kissing other girls but that does not give you leeway to look at other guys! 'I have a boyfriend! I have a boyfriend! I have a boyfriend!
"I have a boyfriend!" I blurted out then slapped a hand over my mouth as if trying to retract my words. Mungai who was in the middle of explaining the difference between oil and water colour medium looked at me in amusement.
"Huh?"
"Ugh, kill me now. So sorry, I don't know why on earth I said that…" I said with a blush.
"Hey, no worries! I do that all the time," he said.
"Really?"
"Nope," he said with a laugh.
"So what's ailing your grandmother anyway?" I asked in a great attempt to change the topic.
"Pain in her lower back and leg. The medicine your grandmother gave her last time seemed to work, I don't know what caused the recurrence though," he said.
"Very sorry."
"Thanks. It's pretty cool though, huh?"
"What is?"
"Having a healer for a grandmother," he said.
I laughed dryly, "You really believe that?"
"Don't you?"
CHAPTER FIVE
The next day my grandmother sent me to the Nyaguthii homestead to deliver medicine for Cũcũ Nyaguthii's arthritis and I grudgingly acquiesced. I found Mungai outside the house sitting on a stool eating sugarcane.
"Hey Mungai! I come bearing gifts," I said cheekily and handed him the small container that had the ointment.
He gave me a toothy grin, "well hello to you too! Do you want some sugarcane?"
I sat on the empty wooden bench next to him, "sure."
We ate in companionable silence, flexing our jaws to extract juice from the sugarcane. Mungai broke the silence, "So, you mentioned a boyfriend yesterday…"
"Oh yea, his name is Derrick. He's an artist. You might know him as D-Dawg Waziri. Ring a bell?"
"D-Dawg Waziri?" Mungai seemed to be choking on laughter, "can't say I've heard of him."
"You dare laugh? Do you know his hit song 'Baby Girl' trended on YouTube for a whole week?"
"Is that so? Good for him. Tell me something Wamuyu, what do you like about Derrick D-Dawg?" he asked suddenly serious.
For a long beat my mind was completely blank. What did I like about him? "So many things! So many! Well for one…he is very, um, very cool. He has a lot of…um, hair. Also he has such…just such presence! And did I mention the hair?" I asked sputtering.
"You sure did," Mungai laughed, "I had no idea hair is of such value."
"Well you know what they say…akili ni nywele. I guess that doesn't bode well for you," I smiled looking at his clean shaven head.
Later on as he was escorting me home, I decided to broach a subject that had been bothering me.
"Um Mungai?"
"Yes?"
"Why do people treat my grandmother as a pariah? It is the healer thing, right? Do they think she's…crazy?" I asked biting my lip.
"No that's not it," he eyed me speculatively, "Have you never heard the rumors?"
"What rumors?"
"That she uh…that she killed your grandfather," he said with a big exhale.
My heart jumped with shock, "what? What!"
Mungai said nothing, and I didn't want him to anyway. I was too busy all but fainting with astonishment. I didn't remember much about my grandfather, he had died when I was in lower primary. I remembered that he was tall and imposing, and inspired reverence in the whole family. I did not remember the cause of his death, but I surely would have had it been anything to do with murder.
While my grandmother was a cold woman with…strange beliefs, I did not imagine her committing such a heinous act.
*******************************************************************
That night as I ate githeri next to my grandmother, I was lost in thought.
"Did everything go well today? You stayed out quite a while," Cũcũ commented in between chewing.
The inner battle of should I, shouldn't I ask her was driving me crazy. So I threw caution to the wind.
"Cũcũ …I want to ask you something," I said, "but I need you to keep an open mind."
"Okay..."
"Is it true that…Did you…I mean, why do people think you…you k-killed gũka?"
Her beady eyes went darker at the question as she audibly swallowed. "Who told you that?"
"Does it really matter? I just want the truth."
"The truth is that you don't need to concern yourself with those rumors," she said and went on eating as if I had just asked about her garden.
"Oh my god could you stop treating me like a child for once?!" I snapped and stood up suddenly heading for the door in a huff of anger.
"Child sit your ass back down! Your fits of anger will be the death of you," she snapped back.
I turned to face her with a stiff spine, "will you talk to me or will you keep treating me like a child?"
"Where do you get such stubbornness from?"
"It's probably one of the gifts ancestor Wamuyu passed down," I said dryly.
She rolled her eyes, "sit down." I did. "Your grandfather was…a difficult man. He was traditional, believed that a woman was only good for breeding and complementing him as an accessory. He was…displeased by my vocation and he wasn't afraid to show it."
I could tell she was trying to keep her feelings at bay, but her voice broke and I swallowed heavily, "what does that mean? How did he…show it?"
She paused for a beat, "Well, he used his cane, his belt and when that was not enough his fists, and when that wasn't sufficient whatever tool that was within his reach." Her voice had never sounded like that before. Weak. Worn. Defeated.
"H-he beat you?" indignation and hurt mingled in my tone.
"Child he almost broke me, and it tore him apart when he couldn't." her voice shook with vehemence, "so you ask did I kill him? It would have been easy, too easy but no, I didn't. He died of a heart attack. His arteries were probably clogged from the amount of fat he ingested. He's probably laughing in his grave at how everyone assumes I offed him."
That night I felt closer to my grandmother that I had ever been to another human being. Her pain was mine, and her truth was mine.
"I am so so sorry Cũcũ," I told her.
"It's alright Wamuyu. The truth is, I can't blame you for not wanting to join this work. God knows it won't win you many friends."
******************************
I was perched on my tree a few days later, clutching my phone. When I dialed Derrick's number to end things, it was a surprisingly easy decision. My grandmother's confession had struck a chord with me; and I recognized my relationship with Dennis as a pointless endeavor. I was ready to let go.
Surprisingly, he picked up on the first ring, "Hey baby girl! I haven't heard from you in a while."
I guffawed, "I haven't heard from you either Derrick." He had actually never initiated communication since I came here. Wow, I had been so stupid.
"You know I've been busy with the guys…"
"Great for you. Look, I was actually calling to tell you that it's over between us," I said.
He floundered "W-whaat…I don't understand Msupa."
"Derrick I'm breaking up with you," I said gently.
"Excuse me? Nobody breaks up with me! I do the breaking up."
"I'm so glad that's what you're angry about. You know what else? No matter what you call it, it was cheating!" I retorted and hang up. He tried calling a couple more times but I declined. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. The air was so fresh here. How had I missed that? And it was so quiet you could hear yourself think.
"Someone's thinking awfully hard!" I looked down the tree to see Mungai looking up at me. He was wearing his trademark smile, a white vee t-shirt and blue rugged jeans.
"Hey there! Why don't you join me?"
He climbed the tree with surprising agility and settled next to me. "What's got your face all scrunched up?" he asked.
"Well, I did just break up with Derrick…"
"Aah. I'm sorry."
"I'd probably believe you if you weren't smiling so hard," I said mockingly.
"Am I?" he asked and if possible his smile got even bigger making my own mouth twitch.
"Gah, just shut up," I said.
Mungai and I sat on the tree for hours, talking about everything and nothing at all.
"Will you attend Heritage Day celebrations?" he asked me.
"Heritage Day?"
"It's the day we celebrate our origin. And the heroes and heroines who fought for our independence. We meet in the town square, in the Kagochi stadium. There's music… dancing…food. It's really fun," he explained.
"When is it?"
"A week from now. On Saturday evening."
"UUUUiiiiiiiii!!!Heeeelp!" I heard a scream and loud voices coming our way.
"Do you hear that?" I asked Mungai as I swung off the branch and landed down. Mungai was right behind me. A group of people marched towards our compound, and between them was the woman my grandmother and I had run into on our way to the Mũgumo. She was wailing and holding the young boy who had greeted my grandmother. Even in the evening light I could see he was pale and trembling, and his face was etched with pain.
"Help! Help him please," The woman spoke to me, her eyes imploring.
"Cũcũ! Please come!" I called out in urgency but she was already heading towards them in quick strides.
"What's wrong Nyamuiru?" she asked the woman.
"There's something wrong with Miano. Please Wamuyu, please help him." Tears dripped in big chunks from Nyamuiru's face. I wondered why she had brought the boy here, rather than take him to the hospital. After all it had been quite obvious on our first meeting that she did not have lost love for my grandmother.
CHAPTER SIX
Cũcũ directed them to the sitting room, and asked that Miano be placed on the table. I followed them inside and the villagers that had accompanied Nyamuiru were left outside save for three, a short old woman and two young men who followed us inside. It was then that I noticed that Miano's belly was very swollen and he was extremely short of breath.
"Silence!" my grandmother commanded and the murmurs quieted. She closed her eyes and lifted her hands in supplication. Then she started chanting, her Kikuyu dialect thick with wisdom and age. She asked Nyamuiru to remove Miano's shirt and when that was done, she placed her hands on Miano's belly and gently kneaded.
I watched in awe as my grandmother, steady eyes, steady hands, called out to Mwene Nyaga, called out to the elements: wind, water, earth and fire. Her shadow seemed to glow as she continued kneading the boy's tummy. The swelling did not go down, and my grandmother's brow was sweaty with exhaustion. She opened her eyes which appeared old as time and heavily burdened. It was then I knew that whatever was wrong with Miano would not be solved by mashed green herbs.
"His small intestine is tied in a knot," she finally spoke.
I realized what she had been doing as she kneaded. She had been locating the source of pain, effectively diagnosing him just as a machine in hospital would. I was starry eyed as I made eye contact with her.
"Wamuyu, I need your help if we are to save his life," she told me.
My heart thudded with panic, "Cũcũ, I don't know what to do."
"Yes you do. You just have to believe in yourself," she told me. I felt a squeeze on my hand and I turned to see Mungai standing on my left. He was looking at me like he always did: like he wanted to know all my secrets, like every part of me fascinated him and he couldn't get enough. He nodded at me, and his eyes gleamed as he said, "you can do this."
I stepped forward tentatively and stood directly opposite Cũcũ with Miano between us lying on the table.
"What do I do?"
She stretched her hands towards me, "take my hands and close your eyes."
I held her hands and cinched my eyes shut. "Clear your mind of everything, until it is a brilliant white," she said soothingly. I tried clearing my mind, but all I could see was the young boy writhing in pain, and the many eyes staring hopefully at me. What were they thinking? What was my grandmother thinking? I had no idea what I was doing.
"Wamuyu focus!" she said "You need to breathe. Clear your mind of everything. Imagine yourself as water, as wind, as air, as earth." Her voice was so powerful I immediately felt myself relax.
"Feel my energy and make it your own," she said.
My mind swirled with colour, a swirl of pink, orange, blue then a white so brilliant it scorched. It was as if I left my body, and became intangible. I was everything and nothing, and it was amazing.
"Do you feel it?"
"I do." My voice was deep with untold power. We placed our hands on Miano's stomach and pressed deeply. Immediately I could feel his pain, and see the source. Our hands moved in a sensual dance and I felt the energy transfer from my hands to Miano's intestines, detangling the knot as it seeped through.
It felt like a lifetime and then it was over. The young boy finally opened his eyes.
I felt sluggish with exhaustion and bone deep fatigue, and a joy so deep it was unlike anything I had ever felt.
Cũcũ told Nyamuiru, "he needs rest, but he is going to be okay."
She pulled my grandmother into a tight hug and murmured heartfelt gratitude. My grandmother patted her back awkwardly completely shocked by the act of affection.
I looked into my grandmother's eyes, "Teach me Cũcũ, I want to learn everything."
GLOSSARY
Akili ni Nywele- (Kiswahili proverb) direct translation; Hair is wisdom
Boda-boda- Motorcycle used to carry passengers
Cũcũ - Grandmother
Gũka- Grandfather
Mresh- Beautiful
Msupa- Hottie
Mũgumo- refers to a holy place or shrine; Fig tree
Mwene Nyaga- translation; owner of the ostrich; God
Mzungu anachungulia dirisha- (Kiswahili Idiom) translation; a white man is peeping through the window
Nduthi- Motorbike
Niaje- Hey