My shoulders hurt….
My hip hurts….
My balls hurt….
Want to know why, you bastards who are now laughing their asses off from me getting my beautiful ass branded?
It's quite simple really.
I am hanging upside down with my paws tied together around a pole about 3 feet above the ground.
Then there is the crazy bitch's hand that is (unconsciously I am guessing? Shrugs) rubbing me a hairs breath away from my godly weapon. And to add insult to injury, her sister(?) is rubbing her head on my stomach as they are both arguing about something.
I think the crazy barbarian said something about ownership of her sperm bank or something like that.
I am just trying to not (just a little more and I can release my load!!!!) release my load onto the bitch's head. I am trying to be a perfect gentleman after all.
....
Yeah. Even I do not believe that for one moment.
As for how I ended up like this, let's just say that I received a hit on the head from crazy woman after a 3-hour chase around her house when her sister tried to give me a blow job. Next thing I know, I am waking up like this.
While I let them argue about what sounds like mating rites (whatever that means), I look at my stats and see that my speed, dexterity, and stamina have all increased by a good amount.
Name: Jeff Kingpin
Sex: Male (debatable)
Race: Chimera (Don't know what to call your new race. Too lazy to make one.)
Title: Perverted Beast Kill on Sight
Str: 26
Agi: 57
Dex: 41
Int: 19
Wis: 6
Luc: 1
Cha: 15
Sta: 32
(A/N: forgot to puts this in the first time. It was 17.)
Points Available: 19
Still don't know what is normal around here. Meh.
Oh! I have some more points to spend!
Even with the 15 points docked from my intelligence stat, it still looks good!
But seeing 2 stats that have a single digit (low ones at that) I had no choice but to use my points to raise them. As any gamer will tell you, "if you have a stat(s) that are low, you suck donkey balls bitch!".
So I took 10 points and used it on luck to bring it up to 11, and the rest on the wisdom stat (still to this day don't know what wisdom is for) bring it up to 15.
Once I finalize my choices, I was just about to cry for wasting my points when I cried instead as I heard "Jessica! Now I must wash my hair! AGAIN! And I thought you said you were not going to do anything like that until you got that potion you needed!"
All my pain went away as my tongue was hanging on the side of my mouth as I smiled.
I love you luck stat. I will raise you more in the future.
Ms. I-accidentally-rubbed-him-off's POV
I cannot believe I just did that! What the hell happened!? I know for a fact I was not touching him for the 5 hours I was torturing him with my touch, when I felt a sneeze and next thing I know, my knuckles touch his tool.
But I guess it was worth it to see the horror of being jizzed on by a male. Ah that brings a smile to my face.
Now I hope that she leaves so I can depart. I have everything I need already packed.
But knowing her, sigh, she will too.
Oh well. Maybe I can ditch her in the next town over and make a small home in the woods that is near it while she tries to find me.
Ms. I-just-got-jizzed-on's POV
That bitch! Why did she do that!? She knows I like to swallow it!
Now I have to hurry and li, I mean wash it all off. Good thing I know of a way that will only take about 5 minutes before I grab my pack that is near my front door.
And does she think I don't know that she has the outdoor fetish? She will probably try and lose me in town or something while she struts off to another town or something so she can by some land that she can turn into her own little paradise.
Stupid bitch!
For wasting all that good protein, I am going to accidently say where her personal diary is so everyone can see just ho much of a pervert she is.
Seriously! What woman wants to be mated to an animal!?
Mr. I-am-still-on-my-high's POV
I haven't had a girl get me off since I came.
I walk around on still wobbly legs as any dude who just his virginity would have, as I watch in not so rapped attention as the woman who just gave me my release runs around getting what she needs as she gets her pack ready.
At least that is what I thought when I see the branding iron in him hand (cold thankfully) and a torch in the other. The torch is then thrown into her house before she grabs her packs and trots off leaving the town.
Me being a smart man, follows her as I have no idea what the hell is going on.
Does she have something that she wants to hide or something?
Gasp!
Did she bleed so badly that she is concerned that the others might find out!?!?!?!
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You are so dumb – Goddess, wife of the man who is writing this
(A/N: I am single and vaccinated)
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Why do I feel like I just stepped on a land mine?
Jessica's POV
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So that is what he is thinking right now. It should be a good start in getting him to do your bidding as a good slave – Goddess
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I feel a smile form on my face as I start to think of all the things, I can get him to do for the week I have my moon cycle.
*que the maniacal laugh*
At least my mood was happy until I hear my sister up ahead with a demented smile on her face as if she guessed my plan after her *protein drink* (at least that is what she calls it) was accidentally plastered all over her hair.
Knowing her, she probably read my fake diary since I don't have one. Hehe. To bad she might not know that I burned my house down since I found this thing's pile of literal shit on my bed and its urine in the corner on and around my favorite tree.
Need to teach the bastard a lesson about where he needs to go to relieve himself properly.
Looking at him now, he seems more intelligent that before, as if he now has at least some wisdom in his eyes.
NEED TO KEEP MY DAMN SISTER FROM SEEING HIS DAMN EYES!
MC's POV
I am staring at Jessica's (how I now of all times remember her name is beyond me. I'll just chock it up to the luck stat) sister Mary (again. Luck stat) as she is drooling at me while waving at Jessica as she approaches.
I can only hope that I can survive long enough that I can escape back into the forest. My speed should be good enough that I can flee from any oni-thing that I have heard that tends to appear behind girls when the get into their catfights.
Never seen it for myself, but I don't want to see it if it is true. I have enough to worry about.
Like getting laid.
Whenever I want.
*sniffle*
I hope my character on Final Fantasy is doing ok.
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I am loving this new VR setup!
You get to have sex with all the NPCs and the monsters!?!?
Want! Want!! WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!