A week passed before I was able to put my plan into motion.
I spent most of that time in the library, as I no longer had to assist with chores. The abbot was a fool, but not an idiot. As soon as he saw the winds changing, he rushed to match them. I no longer lived among the other acolytes and now had a guest room to myself. My clothing was also upgraded. Though it was still simple, undecorated white cloth, it set me apart from the rest of the people in the monastery. I wasn't at the bottom of their hierarchy anymore. Instead, I stood in a liminal space, caught between the cursed acolyte I was and the true princess I aimed to become. It was an awkward phase, and no one really knew how to treat me, anymore.
Well, almost no one.
There was a gentle knock on my door and I turned to greet Father Rowan as he opened it. The smile on his face was the same as it always was. If he was concealing his unease, I would never know. I preferred to believe it was genuine. If I was fooling myself, then...
I didn't finish that thought.
"Found you," Father Rowan said as though I was hiding in the hollow tree again. "A Lord Shay has arrived at the gates, Your Highness."
Ha. Lord Shay. If the Duke heard him, then...
Then nothing. This was a monastery. Rank wasn't supposed to mean anything here. Even if things were different in reality, Father Rowan could still use that to his advantage.
And so could I.
"Thank you for letting me know," I said with a smile. I could only hope it was as convincing as his. After so many years under the veil, I could no longer control my expressions as well as I wanted to. "If he asks for me, please tell him I am waiting in the western sanctuary."
His kind eyes widened and it looked like he might scold me like he used to. Then he sighed.
"Yes," he said with a sad shake of his head. "I suppose you have the right to use that room, don't you. You'd think I'd remember that you really are a princess."
If I let myself think about it, the distance that was growing between me and the man who raised me was a little depressing. No, more than a little. That was why I tried not to think about it.
...
Aiyah~, I'm too soft.
I reached out and took Father Rowan's calloused hands in mine. "I won't forget you," I said seriously, meeting his gaze with mine and holding it. He flinched but didn't look away. "I'll always remember my Father."
Tears gathered in his eyes and he turned away. I let him go and slipped out of the room before I joined him and we both became sobbing emotional messes. I had somewhere to be, and I doubted tears would work on the great Duke Shay. Not on our first meeting, anyway. No, a man like him would have no sympathy for his sister's daughter.
Especially not when she looked exactly like the man who ruined that sister's life.
It didn't matter, though. I didn't want his sympathy.
The western sanctuary was a place reserved for noble guests who wanted to pretend they were devout. It was humble in a way that reeked of wealth and made those of us who knew better uncomfortable. There were a few simple wooden pews carved from the finest mahogany lined up in front of a single marble statue of the Goddess Alítheia. This one was different from the ones outside. Those were built to survive the elements and thus lacked any details that might be lost to time. This one was exquisite. The lines in her outstretched hands were carved with loving care and her face looked like it might speak at any moment. It was almost as if the Goddess who blessed me with her stigmata was in the room with me.
It was the perfect place to put on a show.
I took a seat in the front row and bowed my head over clasped hands. I didn't actually pray. Alítheia never answered when I did. Sometimes I wondered if it was because I wasn't the real Theophania, but I doubted there was any way for me to possess her body without the Goddess' permission. The novels had never mentioned the original speaking with the Goddess, anyway. If Alítheia had something to say, I was right there.
Alas, it wasn't the Goddess who spoke to me.
I didn't jump when someone sat in the pew behind me, but it was a near thing.
"Forgive me for disturbing you, Your Highness."
Dilan Shay's voice was low and a little bit raspy. I didn't turn to look at him and instead pretended to pray a little longer. When I finally lifted my head, the tension between us was almost palpable.
"It is good to meet you, Uncle," I said without turning. "Thank you for coming so quickly."
He scoffed. "How could I not? You are very lucky the paladin you chose is trustworthy." Truth.
I smiled even though he couldn't see. "Luck had nothing to do with it."
"Indeed. I suppose finding an honest man is easy, given your...predicament."
Predicament. That was a good name for it.
"Won't you look at me?"
"You'll be disappointed," I said with a sigh.
"I'll decide that for myself."
I stood from my seat and turned. I didn't give him time to prepare, so I managed to catch the surprised look on his face before he regained control of his expression.
My uncle looked nothing like me. He didn't look like much at all. He was a small, mousy looking man with sandy brown hair and dull grey eyes. If I didn't know better, I would disregard him simply because he looked so unreliable. The original Theophania made that mistake for me.
Despite his appearance, Dilan Shay was one of the greatest swordsmen of his generation. He marched alongside his sister in the fight against the Demon King and earned enough accolades to oppose her marriage to the king without fear of repercussion. He even disowned her when she got married anyway. In the twenty years since, he took control of the Noble Faction in the Capital and led the fight to keep the Royal Family in check. Not once in that time had he ever reached out to me.
"I told you," I said with a shrug. "I'm told the resemblance is quite strong."
Indeed. In the novels, Theophania was repeatedly described as 'the spitting image of her father', even more so than her older brother, the Crown Prince. For Dilan, who hated King Theodore so strongly, my face was likely an unexpected shock.
He also stood, the top of his head reaching my chin. "Not at all, Your Highness." Lie. "You're more beautiful than I expected." Truth.
Hmm. I wasn't sure what to think of that, so I disregarded it. My appearance mattered little in the grander scheme of things.
"Uncle, I need your help."
Honesty really was the best policy. I could lie just as easily as anyone else, but I much preferred not to. Maybe all those years listening to sermons three times a day, every day, had an impact on me. Regardless, I found it often set people off guard, especially if they weren't expecting it.
My uncle was too experienced to let his expression slip again. "You said as much in your letter. Tell me what you need and I will do my best to provide it." Truth.
Clever. Only he knew what 'his best' was, so failing to provide something he didn't want to give me wouldn't necessarily affect our relationship. Luckily, our goals should be very closely aligned.
"I need allies, Uncle. As soon as my father learns the truth of my eyes, I will be forced into the palace whether I want it or not. I can't just let him use me as he pleases."
There was a new light in his eyes as he looked up at me. "You realize what you're asking for, don't you?"
"I do." I would gladly be the Noble Faction's champion if it meant I could knock that stupid father of mine down a few pegs. "Will you help me?"
He smiled and the expression completely transformed him. His unremarkable face became boyishly handsome and I understood how he managed to marry the most beautiful woman of his generation.
"Wonderful."
"Just a moment, Uncle." I held out my hand. "There is one more thing I would like to ask of you, if I may."
His smile faded, but didn't disappear. "Go on."
"Everything we do may prove in vain if my father arranges a marriage for me. With your permission, I would like to make an oath before Alítheia to prevent that."
"What kind of oath?"
"One which will hopefully keep me from sharing my mother's fate."
It was a low blow, but it had the intended effect. He placed his hand in mine.
"I, Theophania Albrecht, First Princess of Acan, swear before the Goddess Alítheia to marry no man who has not received the approval of my uncle, Dilan Shay, Duke of Montferro. I place my trust in him and surrender my fate into his hands."
His eyes were wide and his mouth agape when I finished speaking. He was staring at me like I had suddenly grown a second head and I looked down at his shoes out of habit.
"Your trust is not misplaced," he said after a long moment, his voice thick with an emotion I couldn't name. "I will swear on that to any God who will witness. I won't let you become a tool in that man's hands." Truth.
"Thank you, Uncle."
"You are very mature, Theophania," he said as we left the sanctuary side by side. "Not many girls your age who have lived the life you have would have considered such things." Truth.
My smile was wan. "There's too much at stake not to."
Finally, the first step toward survival was taken. Only ten thousand left to go.