I went home that night carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I've never felt so numb in my entire life not even when I found out that my father has his first family and that we're just his second, or when I learned that we don't have the same mother with my siblings, or even when I realized that I can't have a whole family that I dreamed of like every other child would like to have.
The pain I felt when he threw the bomb in front of me was incomparable to what I felt when I was still young. When I was bullied and everyone treated me like trash. Because with what he said, it felt like poison to my blood. It was killing me slowly but surely. It made me think of my worth that no matter what I try to do, I can never be enough. I can't have him and I will never be able to call him mine.
He will never be mine.
