I walk into my house hoping my brothers not home. He's spent the last couple days with his mom, but I never knew when she was dropping him off.
"Thayer?"
Nothing.
I walk into the kitchen and place my bag on the table, then go to the fridge to try to find some supper. eggs, butter, mustard. I pull it all out of the fridge and grab the squished loaf of bread on the counter and a pan from the cupboard.
A dinner for champions.
Once I cracked the egg onto the pan, began spreading the mustard onto the bread. I couldn't even remember the last time I had a real home cooked meal in this kitchen. Must have been before Thayers mom left.
I finished making my sandwich and made my way up to my room. I pulled the copy of the book Ms. grey gave me out of my bag and began to read as I ate, enjoying the silence.
When I was finished, I pushed my plate onto my nightstand and wrapped myself in the 4 blankets I had on my bed; my window was broken From a cup dad threw a few months ago and it got extra cold in my room. It didn't take long for me to fall asleep; today I had felt more exhausted than I had in a long time.
..
I woke up to sounds of shattering glass, and immediately ran to Thayers room to make sure he hadn't returned while I was asleep. To my relief, he had spent another night at his moms and wasn't there to witness whatever I was in for.
I walked downstairs cautiously, worried I might get hit suddenly with a flying object of some sort.
The living room was a mess; the couch had been flipped upside down and I could see there was now a huge slash going down one of the cushions. the tall floor lamp Thayer's mother had picked out when she had moved in with us was lying on the ground, the bulb shattered and the covered ripped in half. Pictures were ripped out of books and off of shelves, their frame lying broken on the floor.
The kitchen was ten times worse. Three of the cupboard doors were ripped off the hinges, and every dish in the cupboard lay shattered all over the floor. The fridge was wide open, the door ripped halfway off. The table and chairs had been thrown about, and one of the kitchen windows had been broken by something flying. mustard was on every surface, and the eggs were all smashed against the wall.
My dad sat in one of the kitchen chairs that was still standing, with his head in his hands.
I leaned down in front of him cautiously, slowly leaning in to grab his hands. my movements were slow, I hardly made a breath.
"...dad?"
Suddenly, with the blink of an eye, I was on the ground, his fingers lacing around my small, fragile neck. Panic began to run through my veins.
"You think this is easy kid? DO YOU? I work hard to put food on this table, and I come home and the house is filthy! That's the thank you I get for the work I do for you?"
My eyes felt like they were popping out of my skull. I could feel my face pulsing. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't catch a single breath of air. His hands squeezed tighter the more he ranted.
"You should've died not your mother! You waste of skin! You're just like all of them! you use me for my money and do fuck all! You're worthless!"
The world started to feel fuzzy. I could feel my fingers and toes starting to tingle, like when a limb is about to fall asleep. He kneeled down and brought his face closer to mine, looking into my eyes. I could feel his hot breath; smell the liquor coming off of his tongue.
"You will never be anything but a waste of space in this world, Sandra."
And then, just as everything was starting to go black, he let go. I gasped for air, the oxygen burning my throat as it krept back into my lungs. I watched helplessly as my dad pulled a crumpled pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pocket and lit one. He took one more short look at me and then walked out of the kitchen. I laid there for awhile, trying to catch my breath. my head felt like there was a huge fog, and I felt if I tried to stand I would pass out.
After what seemed like hours, I slowly peeled myself off the floor. I hadn't noticed before that the glass on the floor had been cutting into my back. I quietly crawled back upstairs to my room, my whole body aching with pain and exhaustion. I slowly slipped my sweater and shirt off my back; I winced as some of the shards got caught and ripped through my flesh. As I laid down in my bed, I could feel the shard that were still in my back scraping under my skin.
All I could think was that I just wanted it to be over.
I just wanted to be free.