With every passing moment that he didn't respond, his Empress' dark gaze got colder. Jian Li frowned and tried to think of something to say, while he was starting to become aware that something was very, very wrong.
"I am here to see the child."
His Empress frowned at him, her eyes growing even colder. "Really? And here I thought you were of the same opinion as your brother. That a girl is useless."
A brother? He had no brother.
Jian Li answered, feeling like the ground beneath his feet had upended, "A girl is not useless."
"I don't think your brother even knows his daughter's name." his Empress' commented, her eyebrow risen in a show of her disbelief.
And what did she mean by it was his brother's child? She was clearly his daughter!
"Then he is a fool." Jian Li stated.
His Empress didn't respond again. Instead, she rearranged the child — who he now saw was a girl — on her lap, cooing at her with a softness that he had never seen from her before. His Empress took the flower from the child's grasp, waving it in front of the child as she tried to take it back. Jian Li wondered if his heart was even beating any more, so much did his chest feel full of nothing but air.
He took a few steps closer, before his Empress gazed back at him, and her cold eyes stopped him in his tracks. "Imperial Princess Yi, don't you have somewhere to be?"
Jian Li scowled, not liking the turn things had taken. "No." he stated harshly. "I am precisely where I want to be."
His Empress scoffed. She actually dared to scoff at him, the Emperor! Did she want to die? But, no, he already knew the answer to that, didn't he? Wasn't that why she had looked so happy? Because it had been her choice.
His Empress turned back to showering the child with affection, and Jian Li walked closer to the them, until he was close enough that if he just stretched out his hand, he could touch them... he could touch his Empress, and prove that this was no dream. That she was here in front of him, with their daughter, alive and well.
But he couldn't make his arm move.
He was so close, but the fear that she would be cold, that this was all an illusion, was overpowering.
Instead, all he could do was clench his hand and ask, "Empress Lan, what is the name of your child?"
Her judgmental gaze was back at him. She rose a dark eyebrow, her eyes carrying her scorn for him perfectly across them. "Her name is Jian Yun."
The child — their daughter — turned to follow her mother's gaze and caught sight of Jian Li. The child beamed at him, waving a hand and spitting at him at the same time. Somehow, the action of spitting made her laugh, and he was dismayed to notice that it sounded like bells.
His daughter was perfect. How had he not seen it before? Her dark eyes and black hair was like a carbon copy of his Empress, her smile looking like a thousand suns just rose over the horizon at once. Her pudgy cheeks were red from the force of her own laughter, and she was nothing less than adorable in her little dress.
She clapped her hands at him, as if to display her marvelous skills. Dutifully, Jian Li smiled at her and said, "Good job."
The girl beamed harder, if that was possible.
His Empress sneered slightly at him over their daughter's head. "Go back to your own palace, Jian Yi."
Jian Li met his Empress eyes, and found there not a hint of warmth. Her rudeness should have made him call the guards on her, because he was the Emperor, but the reflexive words didn't emerge from his throat. Instead, they settled there, like a knot of his regrets trying to choke him to death.
"I am perfectly comfortable here."
If his voice was just a little uneven, nobody but him noticed it.
"And I don't want you here." his Empress coldheartedly stated.
Jian Li's eyes widened, and he was surprised that he didn't fall down. There was suddenly a burning pain in chest, as if something was trying to tear its way out. Before he had a chance to protest, to plead, to beg, to say anything at all, her attention returned to their daughter.
"Come, Imperial Princess Yi." the noisy servant with no sense of danger took his elbow and spun him around in his moment of weakness. "I will escort you safely to your palace."
Before he knew, he was back inside the palace, walking toward the exit with a servant hanging onto his arm.
"Ghh!" he tore his arm out of her grasp and hurried ahead of her. "Don't touch me!"
"Imperial Princess Yi!" the servant called after him, hurrying to keep up. "Don't run so fast, what if you trip? You know your health suffers from your temper!"
"Leave me alone!" he yelled back, feeling the pain in his chest from his Empress' rejection overwhelming him.
Yet, there was a part of him that was celebrating, and he wanted to laugh out of giddiness. Who cared if his Empress hated him? Who cared if she couldn't stand the sight of him, if she despised him? She was alive, she was here!
In light of that, what did anything matter at all?
Their daughter was alive too, which meant that he had time. He had time to change things, to fix things.
Ah, he wanted to burst out laughing like a madman!
Jian Li was, eventually, forced to follow the impudent servant to another palace. This one was one that hadn't been in use since his aunt was alive, and for some reason, this was where the servant steered him. He scowled the entire way there, glaring at anyone that dared to so much as look at him. But in the end, this palace was much closer to his Empress' — in fact, they shared a garden between them — that he surrendered just for the convenience of it.
Guards opened the palace's front doors as he arrived and he entered it somewhat voluntarily. He could stand the idea of living here, if it mean that he was closer to his Empress and their daughter.
"This servant will take you to your room." the servant once more gripped his elbow, and this time just moved with him when he tried to shake her off.
Past a hallway, around a few corners, and they finally arrived at another door, that was significantly more decorated than the others. It was not hard to guess that this was supposed to be his bedroom.
"I am here. Now leave." he barked out at the servant, finally tearing his arm out of her grasp.
The servant bowed down before him and said, "This servant shall now draw a bath for Imperial Princess Yi and call for dinner."
"A bath?" Jian Li's eyebrows furrowed. Then he nodded, "Yes. I will take my bath now."
The servant nodded again and ran into his new bedroom. He could hear her move a bunch of things around, but did not bother thinking about it. Soon after, she left and ran away, presumably to collect water. Jian Li watched her go and entered the bedroom on his own.
The entire thing was pink.
It was so pink that it was offensive. What was this, the room of a ten-year-old girl?!
Whoever thought of making the Emperor live in a room like this was going to be stoned to death!
Jian Li sneered and kicked over a stool in his rage. The pink walls, pink curtains and pink duvets were just too much. Everything that could be pink was! It was disgusting. It was horrifying. It was unnatural.
In the end, until the servant came back a bunch of other servants, all of them carrying buckets, Jian Li just stood still in the middle of room, trying not to look at anything pink in an exercise of frustration. By the time that they finally finished and the bath was ready, he was about ready to burn the entire palace down to the ground, just to get rid of the offensive sight.
Then the impudent little servant stepped up to him. She held out her hands and he stood still as she undressed him.
Finally, he was undressed and could get in the warm water.
It was... pleasing. "Your name, servant?" he demanded from the impudent one.
She blushed and directed her eyes somewhere else, as she handed him a bar of soap, as if he was about to wash himself. "This servant is called Su Ning."
"You shall wash me." he ordered.
She blushed fiercely, all the way up to her ears. Jian Li tried, and couldn't think of any time that he had ever seen his Empress do that. He wondered how it would look on her.
The girl washed him thoroughly, as he was filthy from his tumble in the woods. The lumps on his chest were odd, and sensitive in a manner that he wasn't used to, but he couldn't care less about it. The entire time in the bath, his mind took a strange turn, and he wondered if he could ever bath with his Empress. He was sure that she would be gorgeous, even after having a child, and maybe the warmth would even make her blush...
For some reason, the impudent servant blushed again.