"Mister Green. I wanted to see you for the clubs." Sir Whitecraft explained as I just stared at him hazily.
How did I arrived in his office and why was I sitting on the chair beside his desk when I was walking with Sebastien ? I didn't remember and it was worrying me, wondering what happened for me to forget about that.
"But first, I wanted to know if you felt better. Fainting in the middle of the corridor isn't something that should be easily forgotten. Did you feel sick ?" He asked and I couldn't tell if he was faking or not his anxiety.
And slowly, the word fainting entered my mind and I suddenly recalled everything. I was walking with Sebastien towards the old building when I was starting to feel dizzy and the last thing I saw before fainting was the green eyes of Blaise.
So the prefect of the blue house lied to the principal and said he found me in the corridor… But why lying ? Why not tell the truth ? And why did Sebastian didn't do anything ? I thought he was my friend, that he pinky promised that he would protect me…
Was he only a traitor then ?
" I'm okay Sir. Thank you for your concern." I respond politely, my hand shaking under his desk. Feeling betrayed was the worst thing I ever felt but why was I acting so dramatic ? I thought I was used to be betrayed by my friends…
"Good. So if I wanted to see you was to talk about the clubs of the school. Do you have any passions, anything you like to do outside the school ?" He asked with genuine smile.
I thought about it and realised that I did not one active at my old school. I never had time to do anything because I had to do the homework of my bullies. And I didn't have the time to think of a passion these past sixteen years.
"I'm good at cooking." I told him, lowering my head, embarrassed to be obliged to lie because my life wasn't interesting enough.
"Or really ?" He said, genuinely surprised. " Well we have a cooking club if you want to join. By the way, did you know that Archie joined it ?" He smiled sadly, maybe thinking of the time where the boy was still alive.
"I would love too. Which teacher is running this club sir ?" I asked, curious.
"Didn't you know that ? I'm sorry Ethan, I tend to forget that you only arrived three days ago. Every one of the clubs are organised by the prefects themselves and the students are allowed to propose new ones that are selected or not during the great Club Assembly which happens every three months." He explained all in one breath, oblivious to how my heads and legs were shaking. " So anyway, you are now an official member of the cooking club if you sign this." He said while signing himself a paper he found on his messy desk before handing it to me with a pen.
I read what was on it and saw, terrified, that it was a contract saying that I couldn't stop the club before the end of the year. I knew that I couldn't say that I didn't want to do it anymore, that I just couldn't for my mental sake and with trembling hands, I wrote my name at the end of the page in black ink.
And by doing that, I understood that I would be stuck with those prefects until the twelve months of school finished, wich meant that I surely will have to stay with them in one room, maybe alone, and that Sebastien wouldn't be there to protect me.
But even if he was with me, would he have protected me ? After all, didn't he abandon me with Blaise ? Wasn't he another friend who betrayed my persona ?
"Great ! You start Wednesday at 4 pm in the canteen. Don't be late, Izzy hates it." He joked before telling me to leave his office, more seriously this time.
I strolled down the corridor, not knowing where I was going or who I was bumping into. Knowing mattered as I surely would die Wednesday.
Another student will be found dead in the garden and this time, it would be me. After all, could I truly trust these prefects to keep me alive after they didn't hesitate to drug me ? Could I trust anyone in this school ? Could I trust the school by itself ?
I had this impression that everyone around me, even my parents, left me alone to defend myself against every danger of the world. I felt that I didn't had a single friend, a single comrade in this cruel, evil place we called Earth.
I had no shoulders to cry on, no one who could calm me down, not a single place made me feel secure.
"Ethan ? I waited for you all day !" An annoyed voice called out and I lazily pulled off my thoughts to see McMillian in front of me.
"Sorry…" I mumbled, still depressed by my thoughts.
"Hey, what happened Ethan ?" He asked sweetly and I couldn't help but wonder what Clayden was to me.
Not a friend like I thought Sebastian was too me but neither was he a stranger. Maybe he was this shoulder I was longing to cry on. Maybe he was this person who would dry my tears when I would break down. Maybe he was the one who would find the missing pieces of my soul when it would break into pieces.
Suddenly, I realised how depressing my thoughts were. But I wasn't depressed or no where next to it so why was I thinking like that ? My did I thought that my soul would shatter ?
Was it all because Sebastien left me alone with the blue house prefect when he promised he wouldn't ? I think it all started from here…
"Nothing. Don't worry Clayden, I'm okay. " I reassure him with a fake smile glued to my face.
McMillian, even with all his kindness and concern, will never be my friend. I didn't felt safe and secure around him like I felt with Sebastien. My nose smell fake all around his persona and my mind was screaming to me to never talk to him again.
" See you during dinner !" I said while walking away and stopped when I was far from him. I looked around me and saw that I was once again in the garden so, dull inside, I leaned on the wall, eyes closed.
Third day at this school and I already started to have serious problems. Without Sebastien to be with me, I was going to be completely defenceless with one, or maybe more, prefects during the cooking club. And once again, I felt completely trapped in this school.
"Ethan ?" A small voice called my name and even with all the sweetness, I immediately recognise the owner of this voice.
"Sebastian." I said, not daring to open my eyes to see his face.
"Ethan…" He repeated with a more desperate voice and not able to hold much longer, I looked at him straigh in his black eyes who hold much more guilt than I thought. " I'm sorry but I couldn't stop Blaise from taking you." He explained in a sad voice and I immediately forgave him, hearing how genuine he sounded.
"Why couldn't you ?" I asked in a croak voice, tears prickling my eyes
" I'm going to tell you the truth but please, don't run away because you are the only one who can help me." He said slowly and I narrowed my eyebrows, not knowing what he sad to reveal to me.
And even if he said nothing, even if he didn't explained why, I would have forgiven him anyway. I would have because he was my most trustful friend, the one in front of who I could cry without feeling embarrassed of showing so much weakness.
" I couldn't catch you before Blaise did because… because I'm a ghost."