Adriana, age twenty.
"No father, I'm good. I will be, if you would just send her to one of the hospital. You know how she gets when she has one of her episodes. She's a drunk dad, she would keep on drinking and you're not always around to protect me." My face was bruised as she slapped me hard just minutes ago. I was used to her beatings by now. I didn't know how father kept on loving mother after all this time.
The situation had gotten better, since I move out for college. But I would miss my father, and would check up on him every weekend. But this time mother got to me first, when she told me that I was a slut, for coming home with different guys each time I visited. Then she slapped me hard, making me taste blood.
She was not wrong, I was being a slut for dating different guys. But what she didn't know that it was all because of her. She made me that way, she made me fuck random guys, since I didn't want to be like father. I didn't want to be in love, and spend the rest of my life taking care of the one person that would hurt her own child.
I was being strong for father, though I know he didn't need me to be strong for him. He was the strongest person I knew. He was the only one person that I love dearly. That was until one day that she shot him, while she was heavily intoxicated. I cried my eyes out when I heard the shot, then I found him holding on to his stomach and telling me not to do anything. But I couldn't, I cry for father when I shot my mother to death. That day, I lost both of my parents, though I only grieved for one.
I was calm, when I call our family lawyer and explain everything to him. He quickly came to our house and everything was settled by him. The police came and asked me grueling questions, but Albert was very strict as he kept on telling the cop that they need to ask me relevant questions.
Two hours later, the cops was gone, along with my parents corps. Suddenly the house was quiet, I made my self a cup of coffee and went to my father's drawers and get a pack of his cigarettes.
That was my first time smoking, I coughed then adjust my breathing, while I inhale the smoke. Seconds later, I feel my body relaxed instantly. The surrounding smell was gone, and all that left was the smokey smell of the cigarette.
Couple of days after the funeral, Albert our lawyer invite me to his office to discuss father's will and his business.
"Adriana, according to your father's will he's leaving you the company with me guiding you all the way and should you want to sell I would assist you in finding a suitable buyer." He told me as we seat in his office and gave me the documents that mentioned it.
I quickly skimmed the documents, the company was like my second home. I know that he was running an escort agency, a high class prostitution company. I know the people that worked there, I would drop by and spend sometime there with father, whenever mom has her episodes. His company was my safe heaven when I hadn't move out for college.
"I'm going to take over the company Albert, I know Mike already. I know the legal department and all the employee by heart already. I can't let them down, his company is their livelihood. I will go there this afternoon, it would be great if you could accompany me and read the rest of father's will that he stated for several people there."
And that was the day, I took over the company. The first few years were a struggle, but I managed to head on forwards and made the company more polish and suitable for the new image. We moved out from the shady neighborhood to an upscale business district. We were staying under the radar by being visible. There were less need for killings, less people to be killed because of our needs for secrecy. We were catering for more high end clients, we were acquiring more income.
Business was at its best, while my personal life was being put back in the corner, as I was juggling between the company and my college education. Love for me, was fucking random guys. I like my sexual life, but I was dead on set on not wanting to be attached to someone. I am my own self, I am independent and will not get close to anyone to even consider about being in love.
"Adriana, why do you do this to yourself? I've gotten closer to you, and know you better now. You are a lovely woman, you are very dedicated in your work and your education. But you need to slowdown and take care of your love life, and have a balance between your work and your personal life." Albert was doting me one day. He was like a father to me now, it was true I had gotten closer to him in the past few years, he had helped me a lot by staying by my side.
"I don't want to be like father, his love for mother destroyed him. She had destroyed me Albert, all her drinking, had made me an abused child. Though father would always shelter me from her, he would love me and take care of me when ever she beat me..." I was still talking, when he gave me a piece of an envelope from his pocket.
"Your father didn't want you to find out about this ever, because he didn't want you to worry about your mother. I told him already to tell you the truth, but he had always been stubborn, just like you..." I open the envelop, it was a doctor's diagnosis conforming my mother's illness. It was stated in black and white that she was suffering from schizophrenia.
"Your father did love her too much, and bent to her whishes when she told him that she didn't want to be instutionalized. That she wanted to stay by his side always. She would have good days, but then it got worse with her drinking, as she try to forget abouther illness..."
I looked at Albert, then to the piece of paper in my hand. My eyes were immediately teary, that was the first time I cry for mother and I was sobbing, my body was shaking. Albert took me in his arms and let me pour out all of my feelings.
This is why I will never let myself fall in love...