[What?! I Was Attacked By A Revenant In An American City And Was Reincarnated As A Foul-Mouthed Transsexual Punk With The Power To Summon Fog And Defeat My Enemies By Filling Their Mouths With Knives?!: 2]
The next morning, I woke up! Kate-kun was sitting at the table.
"Serena-san." she said in her native Japanese. "Am I supposed to guess this is your's?"
I'm not really sure what she's talking about, but when I stood up, I immediately tripped facefirst into the other bed and my clumsiness dragged every blanket down with me. I huffed, then stood up, feeling the anger symbol on my forehead pulsate.
"You alright?" said Kate-kun. "Not that I care. Baka."
Kate-kun's hair was black, which seemed appropriate compared to my pink hair. I started to open my enormous mouth, but Naomi-kun came in with Julia -
- and Naomi-kun hit me with a tackling hug that we t us both pomfing onto the bed. Thankfully, Naomi-kun also had pink hair!
"Wait, why the hell did I do that?" Naomi-kun winced as she stood up and started bouncing in place.
"Um, that's just what you do." I shrugged as I stood up.
"Can you explain what this is, Serena-san?" said Kate-kun. "Fufufu... Even if you can explain it, it's useless. USELSSS! USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS-"
Julia seemed annoyed by all of this, which made sense to me; Naomi-kun said she was a prick and didn't really like me, for whatever reason. She mumbled something and they started talking amongst themselves, while I just stood there, observing them. I think that's what I usually do around cisgender women -- I feel like I'm being too rude if I ever interrupt them. Even if they don't really do the same for--
"USELESS USELESS USELESS USELESS"
"Let's go investigate, Serena-kun!" Naomi-kun slapped me on my back, which caused me to stumble into the table, drag down the tablecloth, spray mustard and ketchup all over myself, and put me in a lewd position. I quickly cleaned myself off with Blackburn-chan.
"Let's investigate, Naomi-kun!"
We both went out, but Naomi-kun seemed a bit disturbed by it all. I didn't understand why, until we started going out to the street and crowds of low-resolution people passed by us. Naomi-kun and my-kun faces were both pretty well-animated, but I soon realized the background we were walking against was repeating itself.
"Wait, is this a f****** anime?" I gasped.
"Uh, yeah, Serena-kun." Naomi-kun's enormous eyes blinked at me. "You didn't notice? Kate-sama's eyes being an entire foot wide? I mean, I'm pretty sure even my chest-chan is bigger for some reason. I checked my tablet earlier and it said our seitokaicho was Satsuki-sama Kiryuin-sama."
"…um. No." I mumbled. "Everything just looks kinda normal to me."
Naomi-kun gave me an odd look. I frowned. "Um, give me a second. Don't look. I need to check something."
"Okay."
I ducked into an alley and checked inside my pants to make sure I wasn't a trap, then went back out to Naomi-kun. If I knew my tropes, she was a Genki Girl - overly hyper. I also knew she was a Genki Girl because the entire time we talked, her head vibrated at rapid speeds and she was nearly shouting at me. So, that made me a clumsy idiot - a bakadere.
Wait, I'm a bakadere?!
[Chapter 2/3049: Wait, I'm A Bakadere?!]
"Wait, I'm a bakadere?!"
"Why'd you say it twice?" Naomi-kun's enormous eyes blinked at me. Also, her head vibrated at rapid speeds.
"I didn't."
"Hmm." Naomi-kun put her index and thumb under her chin, and her entire face changed to accommodate her investigative expression. Her eyes were always on one side of her face, even if I tried to look around to the other side. "Serena-kun, this is serious! We need to find out who did this before we're cancelled!"
I shrugged. "Um, Naomi-kun, I'm bisexual and trans. I can handle being cancelled. I don't even use social media."
"No, you stupid bakadere! Our *anime* being cancelled!"
I shrieked.
[INTERMISSION CUT DUE TO LACK OF BUDGET :: BEATINGS IN ANIMATION SWEATSHOP WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES]
Japanese music started in the background, and as we passed one corner -
" - IKIRYŌ!" I shouted, pointing frantically ahead -
- and in the middle of the crowd ahead stood our foe. I could tell, because 1) he had colored hair (red) and 2) he was detailed. Fifty feet separated us as we started rushing at him. Four pipes burst out of his back; red & pink gas erupted out of them -
- and melted every civilian around him in to goo; the women halted thirty feet away on the sidewalk, foe's grin growing with chin held high as he stepped back.
"Urasaria heroes!" he shouted. "My name is Yagami Yoshikage! I have struck terror in to students' hearts for over ten years, with the power of my Revenant, The Planet -"
- a puff of blue gas hit his nostrils, and his head shook as his monologue paused.
I started thinking what I would do once we got into range. I guess I would probably just kill him normally, but Yuruko told me she wanted me to try this weird chemical out on a host: she said if it worked right, they would literally shit their guts out.
'Thirty feet within range… My Revenant, Blackburn-chan, only has an effective range of twenty feet… But Naomi-kun's is even shorter than that! This is the only time I can do this! I must make them ...…. shit their guts out!'
[Chapter 3/3049: This Is The Only Time I Can Make Them Shit Their Guts Out]
"Villain Yagami Yoshikage, who has distorted our sight and speech patterns! My name is Serena-Kunst! Hero name, Miasma, rank #21! I am known for my punk ways, and my extremely violent profile. Criminals and all sorts of scum fear my ability to fill their throats with knives. When I was in highschool, I was called fa-"
- a streetpole flew at me from ahead; a puff of red hit it as it flew, and it melted like it'd been through a thousand degree forge -
- and the keen projectile wrapped around me like a car around a tree; I shrieked as streams of fog flew in to the pole -
- and overfilled it with water until it shattered & fell off, freeing her as I grunted - " - you can't interrupt someone when they're monologuing -"
" - unless you're making a fourth wall joke!" retorted Yagami -
"- f****** b****!" I shouted. Me and Naomi started to rush ahead, and Yagami's eyes started to rumble -
- we swept with the speed of light in to a store's doorway right -
- just in time to avoid his spinning eye lasers shooting past them; Naomi stomped for a wall of stone as we took cover. "Is he a My Heavenly Growth villain?"
"Um, maybe?" My enormous eyes winced. "Maybe he's in season 2?"
"How many seasons can there be of that shallow crap?"
"Hey, I like that shallow crap! And it's ten."
Naomi's enormous eyes blinked stupidly at me. Wanting to flank first, I rushed inside the store, and Naomi followed me behind as I came up to the northern wall, bizarrely undetailed. Streams of fog flew in to it -
- it didn't penetrate. I guess it wasn't marked for animation. Another set of lasers hit the store across the street; the beams ricocheted and shot inside their own, and as they hit the back wall -
- a puff of green hit the detailed wall; it started instantly to collapse, corrosive cloud corroding away the wall, and as the entire store started to crumble -
" - ikiryō! Avalanche!" shouted Naomi, stone fingers snapping -
- and part of the ceiling slid off to repair the wall before the store could collapse any further. Seeing another part of the northern wall marked for animation, I nodded as we ran up to it, and as streams of fog filled it -
- it corroded away our sudden exit, and in to the hole swept us -
- in to a bizarrely lightless room, no sight left once we stepped inside -
" - what the f***?" I groaned.
"No budget?"
"I guess so they haven't beaten them hard enough. Let's try to light something on fire."
"It didn't work. Yah! I tripped!"
"On me! I really hope that's your arms on my head."
"Uh... Yep. Let me … let me try to shoot stuff."
"They're bouncing off of stuff, I guess."
"Yeah! We can find a way out like this."
"Let's go, Naomi-kun!"
We came out to a bizarrely clear sidewalk, parked cars between, foe on the other side of the road, toking up another three puffs of blue to keep him from falling to -
" - what the fuck is this degenerate s***, anyway?!" he shouted - " - why does everyone have such f****** huge eyes?!"
"I like this degenerate s***, a******!"
Man, why does everyone make fun of me for liking anime? Fuck Julia, by the way.
Beside, Naomi stomped and launched one car towards him -
- and it disappeared in midair; we groaned as they realized it, used to our studio's lack of budget by now -
" - close your eyes!" shouted Naomi-kun; we closed our eyes as she stomped again -
- and once they opened, we saw their foe plastered & staggering against the wall ahead, second car Naomi-kun had launched mysteriously gone. We rushed up as he hit the ground staggering and groaning.
"Nice!" chimed Naomi-kun. She blew a kiss to somebody and started dancing.
"No fanservice." I winced as our foe stood ahead -
- and as the Japanese lyrics started up, he was doomed and he knew it; would be brought down by the power of friendship and he knew it -
" - IKIRYŌ! BLACKBURN!!!" I shouted; my tentacle swept forward -
" - IKIRYŌ! AVALANCHE!!!" shouted Naomi; her palms swept forward -
- streams of fog filled her stone bullets as they shot forward -
- and the hundred balls of acid pockmarked their foe & turned him in to corroded Swiss cheese, gasping out a scream we didn't hear as the next volley burnt his head right off his shoulders and the Japanese music faded in to the background as he scattered into a bunch of dead pixels, hiscore signs, and other loot.
The two sighed relieved as they left the anime world, vision & minds returning to normal as they stood again. (Or Naomi's did, at least.)
"…man." muttered Serena, crouching down to scan.
"…no more Japanese." chimed Naomi.
Serena nodded, humming an anime credits theme.
~Watashitachi wa orokana tomodachi ga daisukidesu
Watashitachi no nodo wa naifu de ippaidesu
Watashitachiha bōryoku-tekina rezubiandesu!
Watashi wa saidai no chikara o motte imasu
Satsujin no chikara!
Watashi wa saidai no chikara o motte imasu
Satsujin no chikara!~