Like most other government organizations, Urasaria had a policy against paying out ransoms: one that would have easily been broken were Maria a 3-star fourth-year, but so it goes. Mia & the others were advised against robbing stores or banks to pay for this for similar reasons, so perhaps a better summation of Urasaria's policies would be: shit only flies when you're powerful.
On Friday evening, Nuiko was walking out of Urasaria's student president's office when she passed by the two-star row of housing, and had called to her mind someone that had occured to Jeanne here early last November. Nuiko had been walking out from her three-star housing and to her costume shop when she was passed by Jeanne & Kirihara, neither of who seemed to notice her, and who she watched as they walked back to Jeanne's house.
"God, I'm so fucking sick of your house being the farthest away from the trains out of here." said Kirihara. "You might as well be in fucking Egypt. What the hell is with that?"
"It's just assigned randomly." mumbled Jeanne.
"What, some 'luck of the draw' bullshit? That's how they decide it? That's what you're telling me?"
"Kirihara, I don't know why you think this is my fault. Nobody gets to choose their housing. Some people just live closer to the trains."
"Well, whatever. But if you're not bullshitting me about that, you could at least move a little fucking faster. I mean, the last six or seven times, I've already been there and still waiting on you to walk your way over. Eventually somebody's going to just steal our kills."
"Kirihara, everyone knows when I reply to it on my tablet. Nobody's stealing our kills. It's fine."
Kirihara grumbled some more, as Jeanne unlocked the door to her own house, then opened it as Kirihara said: "Well, maybe it's a good thing they didn't give you closer housing, if that's how you're treating it. I mean, sheesh, do you ever clean up in there?"
"It's fine."
"You call that 'fine'? Someone could come and take a shit in there and you'd barely notice. God, it makes me feel dirty just looking at it. Sheesh. Anyway, guess I'll see you tomorrow, or whenever there's some other call. Try to be quicker."
For the week after, Nuiko thought over how she might bring this up to Jeanne and use this to ask how she could help her, but eventually, the proper time for it to be broached passed, and Jeanne fell in to another coma. Letting this memory sit unwell on her, she knocked on the doors to Marisa's mansion, who soon answered.
"Donation drive." said Nuiko and Marisa nodded.
"I got your text, yeah. Can you come inside for a sec?"
"Sure thing."
Marisa let Nuiko inside, who sat on the couch as Marisa went in to the kitchen and continued: "That really sucks about Maria, though. Like, I hope Jeanne's doing okay. What's it at now?"
"$5,355, besides what they already have." Nuiko frowned. "I'm still asking around, so..."
"Okay, I've got like $3,000 saved up. Did you ask Matoi?"
"Is she here now? I feel like she's been out on contracts every week."
"Yeah, but she must have a ton saved up, right?" Marisa came back with a plate of fried rice. "Ugh, sorry, I'm like, starving. But yeah, Matoi was telling me she was saving up for some 'surprise' for staff when she's president, but if she hasn't paid for it yet, then maybe..."
"Did she say what it is?"
"I dunno, but I'm excited for someone to put those fucking dicks in their place. Maybe she'll get one for Kirihara, too, whatever it is."
"I hope so. Jeanne keeps having to tell me not to bother her, but every time I see her, I..." Nuiko clenched her fist.
"Aww. Yeah, sometimes you just have to hope people get in to a car crash or killed by a Revenant. But yeah, Matoi was telling me about that a week ago, but I haven't like, texted her lately 'cause I'm pissed at her, so."
"Why?"
Marisa ate some of her rice. "Iffs - sorry, so. I went out a few nights ago, aaand... I started talking to this one chick, she finds out I'm a student and starts really talking me up... and she was cute! But not *too* cute, which I like, since I like being prettier than anyone I'm with." She winced. "Man, that sounds bad."
"Kinda does."
"Ugh. You know what it is? I feel like it's 'cuz when I, like, was in middle-school, there was this bitch named Corabeth - stupid name, by the way - who used to make fun of me for wearing hand-me-downs and shit like that. I remember her dad owned this chain of rent-to-own stores and shit, too."
"Rent-to-own stores?"
"Yeah. It's these stores where, like, you can buy a new dishwasher by paying $100 a month instead of $500 upfront - except then they just fuck you over since by the time you like, 'pay it off', they've made you pay $1,000 total. Ugh. I swear most of the money that gets made comes from ripping off poor people. Those stores are just more honest about it.
But, anyway, like, back to Corabitch. So, eventually, Boudoir activated when I was in highschool! So near the end of the year, I find out she goes to this school, too, and I wait for her outside of her class so I can go like: 'What's up, bitch?' while I'm wearing Boudoir. And you know what she fucking says? 'I'm sorry, do I know you?'"
"She sounds like she realized you were going to beat her ass."
"Well, no, because... and I just stand there, and she makes some comment like: 'You should get some matching shoes for your dress.' and walks past me. Like, what the hell happened?" Marisa took another bite from her rice: halfway done. "Iff'll tell you what happened, 'cuz I like, realized it lately. I bet she did that shit to a ton of people, and when she got to highschool, she was able to move on from it. But I didn't, and I was still the same person she made fun of. God, that sucked. It was pretty funny when she sprained her ankle for a year, though, since she played tennis and lost all her scholarships."
"Well, I dunno, it still sounds to me like she knew you would U-A her ass if she recognized you, but still, that's not anything to feel bad about. A lot of people are like that. Not even bad stuff, either. Jeanne and I visited Louisiana for Thanksgiving and her dad still thinks she smokes."
"You didn't go home to your family? I thought they..."
"…uh, no. Still no, yeah. I wish I could have, though, since Jeanne's dad lives like she does. I love her, I really do, but if *all* Kirihara had said was she was messy, well... He's got these stray cats he feeds, too, and I felt bad just looking at them. All this gunk on their fur that should've been scraped off months ago. I felt bad for them, since even when Jeanne and I helped give them baths, they're just gonna keep collecting shit that clings to them." Nuiko sighed. "Sorry, we were talking about Matoi?"
"No, the chick I picked up."
"Oh, yeah, her. So you picked her up, and...?"
"So, like, we drink a little, but she isn't out to her parents, so she wants us to get a hotel. So we go, aaand we start making out, and in the middle of it, she fucking asks me: 'You wouldn't happen to know Matoi, would you?' And I'm already two fingers deep in her fucking- ugh! She went through the whole thing just to get to her! God, I like Matoi, but she still pisses me off sometimes."
"Marisa, let me get this straight." said Nuiko.
"Uh-huh."
"You're mad at Matoi because of someone she had nothing to do with?"
"Yep. Hey, I mean, my mom used to get in to arguments with my dad because she dreamed he was cheating on her, so, like."
"I mean, not even because it took you out of the mood or something?"
"No, it wasn't even that, since like, empty sex is still better than no sex. But after we finish, and she leaves - leaving me to pay for the room, by the way, because she started telling me about how she just got fired from her job, and... ugh, you know I get attracted to people I wanna fix up. My sister has that problem, too, and… anyway."
"Well, I'm glad you still got some at least." shrugged Nuiko. "Maybe someone'll ask Matoi if she knows Marisa. She travels enough for it."
Marisa laughed. "Uh, I don't think Matoi's ever even had sex. Like, I don't think she even has parents, either, she just came here when a meteor from her home planet crashed here. Like those Klingons in Star Wars or whatever." She sighed. "Ugh. I'm excited for her to kick Kirihara's ass, but rnow I barely want to talk about her."
"I guess at least it wasn't 'do you know Kirihara.'"
Marisa laughed. "I don't think anyone has ever asked that question, ever. Like, I'm really glad she's so ugly, because it sucks when those two things don't match."
"You know there's people rooting for her, too? Can you believe that?"
"The fuck? Why?"
"I don't know, but I actually have gotten asked that before - if I know her. I guess it's since she's rank #2 and all, and normal people don't know anything about what goes on here."
"Maybe someone should write a book about it."
"I don't think we're that interesting." Nuiko groaned. "But I don't get it. People wanna root for an underdog, or an outsider - well, sometimes a dog should get your down. Like those bulldogs people swear are sweet until they rip some kid's face off."
"Yeah, but it feels like people only do that with #1 & #2. Like, I dunno, maybe because I don't really care if I win, but I'm still gonna be #3 once you graduate. I'm not that far behind Matoi, but I barely get like, half of how much she gets recognized, you know?"
"Well, that's everyone else in the top #10."
"Oh, yeah, um, them too. They don't get recognized enough, either. Ugh, it's so dumb. Especially when people don't even care about the fourth-year ranks since there's no competition." Marisa finished eating. "Okay, so, I said $3,000, right? Lemme go get that, since I'm gonna go out soon. Wait here."
Nuiko nodded as Marisa left the room, pondering over the anecdote Marisa had mentioned about (but not about) Matoi. She felt a sense of sympathy towards the woman, manipulative as she might've been, for reasons she needed to sit & think through. She wouldn't have enjoyed coming to the conclusion about herself & celebrity Jeanne had of her, and she could feel her mind make several assertions about this anecdote. Perhaps as someone who could be considered ocularly deformed, Marisa's comments on appearance had irked her? Perhaps it was her own sexual failures that caused her to envy Marisa, or that she simply admired Matoi more than she liked Marisa?
Whatever the case, these questions sat comfortingly with Nuiko in the way that introducing nuance in to any thinking gives one confidence in their intelligence: but wisdom lies in recognizing where first glances & essence coincide and where it does not.
Marisa came back with $3,000 and gave it to Nuiko, who shrunk it in to her pocket, promised she would keep Marisa updated on Maria, then left. Marisa checked her phone and saw Matoi had texted her again; she decided not to bring any pettiness with her to the club tonight, so texted her back before she went to the bathroom.
Now, Marisa had no desire to be Urasaria's president, but draw your attention to her earlier comment about recognition. Note how she complains about her lack of recognition, and only after Nuiko's reply does she remember this doesn't only apply to herself. It's interesting how people who don't want to appear conceited assert their individual interest as a *general* interest like that, or say that they are only speaking up 'for the little guy'. One only has to watch political debate to come up with that observation, of course, but Marisa was not a selfish woman by nature, and much good (& ill) of history has come when the interests of individuals align with the collective.
This digression may not seem to relate to Nuiko's donation drive at first, but it's an oft-debated question whether *genuine* altruism exists, and is complicated by that good can occur for the same reason one enjoys shitting: not because it is a good feeling, but because it expels one bad.
That brings this novel back to Serena. Around the time that Marisa began moisturizing her face, Serena was staring in to her & Mia's hotel's bathroom mirror. No matter how she angled her face, she could still read male in her wide jaw. She tried parting her hair a new direction. She took her jacket off, but swept it back on as she saw her shoulders. She turned the lights off, smiled, then moved her hand to obscure part of her face. Her reflection began forcing a tear out.
"O-Okay." she mumbled, walking out to her & Mia's room. Mia was sitting in bed reading a history novel. "Um, Mia? I-I'm gonna be outside for a minute."
Mia glanced up from her book. "Are you feeling alright?"
"Yeah, I just was gonna call Yuruko."
"Alright. Be careful."
Serena agreed, and as she walked out to the hotel's hallway, she realized that she had let her pitch drop around Mia. This would normally worry her, but with sleep's affliction, she had little desire to keep her voice around someone who had likely picked up she was transgender regardless. (Mia hadn't, for as already seen, Serena passed far better than she deluded herself.) Voice was a difficult subject for Serena, as unlike transgender men, transgender women's voices do not naturally change with medication and must be trained.
She could remember growing up with her single mother until she left for Urasaria a few months ago. While Serena had never held a job before, her mother worked as an administrative assistant, and while she sometimes worked remotely, Serena had generally come home from school alone since she was 10. Because her mother regretted that Serena had no masculine role model as she grew up, she often took to calling Serena the 'man of the house': this meant Serena was entrusted to the signing of packages, writing thank-you cards for birthdays & holidays, and answering the phone or making calls. Thus Serena's own voice had always appeared to her to be stamped by that quality.
Her mother had no desire to even attempt remarriage until Serena was a teenager: a plan which further went on the backburn when Serena came out to her as transgender around 12-13. Serena saw her mother's acceptance as slow in these early years, and she would often wonder whether her father would have matched this pace. He had died to a host when Serena was 2½, so her memories of him were always what others said of him or told her rather than anything she remembered herself. This made him idea, not reality, and so Serena never felt guilty over nor regretted his passing.
Some memories of him had still hooked on to her mind like Velcro, however, and she recalled two as she was walking out of the hotel lobby. The first was that her mother had once told her that her voice would likely develop like her father's; the second was that, when he & Serena would watch children's shows together, he never let her watch any with a female protagonist, even if she preferred it over what was on.
This is likely why Serena has never expressed any desire to find her father's killer, though there may be another reason why: the circumstances of his death. He worked in a small law firm whose office was one floor out of a dozen in the building, and on the day of the deed, a disgruntled worker/host on a higher floor had fat-fingered the elevator button, disembarked on the wrong floor, and -- well. Aside from this blunder, he had also killed the six other employees of this law firm, both qualities which lent more natural disaster than premeditated murder. Revenge is not as easily stirred when it is not individual, specific: no one has ever vowed to kill a tornado.
As she found an empty bench outside to sit on, she considered texting Yuruko for some support, but she decided that she did not want to be the type of partner who treats their girlfriend like a therapist. She comforted herself with that she had heard Mia on the phone earlier talking about Nuiko's donation drive, which would likely make her donation unneeded, and that even with her gender dysphoria worse tonight, this was an improvement over highschool where she frequently cried at -- well, anything, good or bad.
Ruminating now, she realized that she had never actually seen *Mia* cry. She seemed to have this aura of maturity around her that sheathed such displays of unrestricted emotion, that Serena admired, especially because Mia was able to devote herself to read novels like this, whereas Serena needed the constant stimulation of videogames & anime. The last time Serena *could* remember seeing strong emotion from her mentor was this; after their contract with the Gorgons, they had been walking home after a late Revenant, and past Kirihara, who said:
"Hey, Serena. You get your hair done lately? You look good."
"Kirihara, go away." said Mia.
"Hey, what's with the attitude? Mind your fucking business, by the way - I was talking to Serena, not you. What, are you one of those mentors who has to order your protege around for every little shit they take?"
Mia sneered. "I'm a much better mentor than *you*. Do you think I don't know about how your protege came to Aimee a month in begging for her to reassign him? A-and, a-and how I mentor Serena is none of your fucking business, either. At least she doesn't despise me like your mentor does."
Serena had no clue what Mia was talking about, but still snickered, at which Kirihara's face reddened.
"Serena, don't - don't listen to anything she tells you about me and Jeanne. If you're not careful, she'll have you hating the people who don't deserve it and liking the people who do. Don't get your news from one basket and all that." She glanced to Mia. "But I guess you're not gonna let me tell her shit, so I'll just have to do it when you're not right over her fucking shoulder. See you around, Serena."
She stepped on Carve's sawblade and turned, riding it out of the street and over a nearby building. Mia watched until she disappeared, then gestured for Serena & her to continue back to Urasaria. They were halfway back when Serena scratched her neck and asked: "Um, Mia, can I ask you something?"
"What is it?"
"She's done that before and you let me handle it. Why not this time?"
"Because I'm very tired, Serena, I want to go to sleep." Mia rubbed her eyes. "And I just despise her. Not just because she harasses you - she abuses her legal immunity, she uses civilians as bait, she's never... she's never even acted like she has an obligation to anyone else at Urasaria. She just shits on anyone in a weaker position than her and cries about how everyone persecutes her. If you ever hear another lesbian say that students don't count as lesbians, it's exactly because of people like Kirihara. She should be a cop, not a student."
For several minutes, Serena sat there and recalled things, mainly of the sort just recounted, as she listened to the crickets grow in the evening. As she took her phone out and checked herself in the camera, she felt her jaw from earlier had narrowed, then nodded twice to herself before she began walking back towards the hotel. Once she stepped in to the lobby, she walked down the hallway of the first floor and knocked at Jeanne's door.
"It's open." said Jeanne's voice and Serena came inside. Jeanne was sitting at a desk and writing something in a notebook; the page was slightly damp. She closed it as Serena came over. "Hey."
"Hey, um." Serena sat down with her. "Um, how's the money going? Mia was on the phone with N-Nuiko earlier, right?"
"Yeah, she said she's at $8k, but - but she still hasn't asked some of the high-ra-"
"-I-I can pay for the rest. I'll pay for the r-rest, u-um."
"W-What?"
"I-I can pay for the rest, I-I'm sorry - I've h-had enough money to pay the entire time, I-I just didn't want to g-give it up and..." Serena started tearing up and Jeanne leaned over to hug her.
"I- hey, it's okay, that's - are you sure? I-I guess it would be... $16,000, a-and..."
"I-I have enough." mumbled Serena. "I-I have $30,000 saved, I-I just didn't want to - and I'm sorry, and..."
"I... well, hey, that's good. U-Um." She glanced over to her notebook and pushed it away. "N-Not gonna have to risk getting expelled, at least, s-so that's good, and... um. T-Thank you." Relieved as she was, she felt a little awkward as Serena started crying. She gave her another squeeze. "…um, hey. It's okay."
"I-I know, I-I just haven't had anyone to t-talk to about this, and..."
Jeanne pulled away. "Um, you can talk to me. I'm a good listener. I mean, u-uh, that's better than what people usually pay me for."
"W-What?"
"Nevermind. Dumb joke."
Serena wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her jacket. "…u-um. The r-reason I had t-that money is b-because I'm a trans woman, a-and-"
"-you're trans?" said Jeanne. "I- sorry, it's just -- you pass really well. I wouldn't have known unless you told me."
Serena smiled a little. "T-Thanks. I-I'm sorry I didn't tell you about m-my money sooner, it's just - i-it's really important to me and I was hoping I wouldn't have to s-spend it, and..."
"Are you saving up for surgery?" Jeanne winced. "Sorry. Shouldn't ask stuff like that."
"N-No, it's okay. Um, there's someone in Thailand who has a sex change R-Revenant. That's who I-I'm saving up to go see."
"Oh, I didn't even know hosts had that option. That's good." Jeanne smiled. "Um, one, I really appreciate you paying the ransom, b-because I've been super worried about it, and two, I support you." She hugged Serena. "I know it's really hard being trans anywhere. I can't imagine what it's like here, since, um… I know lesbians talk about it being one big community, but there's still a lot of people who wouldn't… well, you know. Sorry."
"No, it's okay. I know that too, it's just..."
"Does anyone else know?"
"Just my girlfriend Yuruko."
Jeanne felt vindicated, for she had made a bet with Nuiko after seeing Serena & Yuruko walking out together. There was a tendency at Urasaria to assume any two women hunting together were dating: a tradition that would've been retired was it not usually correct.
"So Mia doesn't know?" said Jeanne.
"No. Um, I dunno if I'm going to come out to her soon, or..."
"Yeah. I mean, I don't talk to her that much, but if you want, I can talk to her about trans stuff or something like that. Try to see how she reacts, since, um, I think you should. She's your mentor. I know she worries about you a lot." She paused. "Actually, I think she worries too much, but I'm just some degenerate who sucks at mentoring, so."
"Maybe." Serena smiled, though she felt Jeanne was slightly overzealous. "…um. I-I still have to call the bank up and let them know, so..."
Jeanne nodded. "Um, I'll help you pay it back, too. I'm sure Maria will when she finds out you paid it, too."
Serena nodded, and they hugged again before she left.
Afterwards, Jeanne let herself worry a little over Maria, comforted herself with that the ransom would be paid, and that she still had leftovers from last night in the fridge. She took them out and set it in to the microwave, and as she laid back in bed, she watched the lit-from-within window and remembered a transgender man she had met a few years ago. It seemed that transgender men frequently had names ending in -den, like Aiden or Brayden, and his was Hayden.
Both were in their senior year of highschool when they met, and Jeanne was still smoking at the time, so he would often come over and smoke with her & her father before the two went out to art shows. Like Jeanne, he enjoyed the general aesthetics of art but had no mind for deeper plumbing: think a pop artist like Andy Warhol or Lady Gaga.
Still, they hit it off well, even as Jeanne was clueless as how to act around a transgender person. She often treated him like she would a butch lesbian for the first few months after he came out to her, and sometimes joked he was one, even after he would patiently explain to her why certain terms or views were offensive to him. Jeanne later regretted these jokes, even moreso by that he was soon arrested and sentenced for 3 years in a dual charge of drug possession & assaulting his girlfriend. Jeanne never believed he did the latter, as she had met his girlfriend before and thought the term 'crazy bitch' was apt. She was one of those types who watches you do something 1000 times, and on the 1001st she tells you she's always hated how you do it.
Jeanne kept in contact with him through mail as she entered Urasaria. He would often joke about how the legal system had sentenced him as male and housed him as female, and over the next year, he would write to Jeanne about how he was gradually finding religion behind bars. This had always surprised Jeanne, as she had never taken him for a 'God's children' type, but he explained that there were several denominations friendly to transgender people, and that he found it comforting to find a set of ethics that taught him how to live. This was enough to satisfy Jeanne's queries, even as she wondered how ethical a religion that preached to prisoners could be.
But as aforementioned, these all took place through letters, as Jeanne rarely visited Louisiana except for holidays with her father. Urasaria hadn't yet hired anyone to deliver students mail to their houses directly, so Jeanne frequently needed to walk to the front office to check her PO box, and here is where body memory matters, for one does not remember only the letters, but the tired feet and the needing to leave the house without commensurate compensation or violence. Often she would not be notified if she *had* mail, either, and as the summer of her first year came with her mentorship of Kirihara after, along with her depression, her responses grew less frequent. This was a time when Dream's comas came alongside that Nuiko seemed to be drawing ever more distant from her, and she had sat upright in the infirmary in December when she realized she had not replied to his letters in months.
It would not be until early summer that Nuiko helped her work away the nerve preventing another letter, so she sent one out explaining what had happened, and soon received it returned in the mail notifying her that Samantha Beasley (for his name was not legally changed) was no longer imprisoned at the Louisiana Correctional Institute for Women. Jeanne immediately called them up to ask if they knew where he was living now, but privacy laws prevented such answers, because as one woman on staff told her: "We don't live in communist Russia, you know."
She decided to take a contract with Nuiko somewhere in their home town, in hopes that she might see him pumping gas or at the store. As the days went on recognizing no one she had seen, however, she fell in to a funk, and after killing the host they were assigned to investigate, she decided that she wanted to pay the correctional facility one more visit. She received the same answers as usual.
But even as she was escorted out, these questions continued in her mind. Not only where he was now, but even if he still lived here -- for he had always mentioned hating living somewhere so Republican-heavy, and possibly moved -- would she have been able to recognize him? She could barely remember any of what he once told her about testosterone he wanted to take, but she could see his once-face, and began to visibly shake. Was there some record she had forgotten to look in to, or a way she could abuse her legal immunity to contact him? Through all of this, why had he never sent her another letter to let her know he was being released?
But, this is the way things are in life. Reality forces us to deal with itself and people as they exist, not how or why they have gotten this way, for causes & reasons are often hidden, and every series of 'why's inevitably devolves in to questions only answerable by 'because'. As she had sat down on the curb outside of the prison, then instinctually jerked up at feeling the moisture of day soak in to her jeans, she realized this, at the end of her mentorship of Kirihara, and where she was as her third year began.