It was the fourth day since Sophia had fallen sick, and it was taking its toll. Sophia's body winced painfully every time she coughed up more flegm, if she didn't just cough on air. She didn't open her eyes completely to wake, but was mildly conscious through the entire time, and the dragoness could feel her trembling to let go every time she left to get more firewood.
She pressed her cheek to Sophia's forehead. She was hotter this time...she thought. Was that good or bad? Sonata supposed it was good because it meant her body was still strong enough to heat her up that much, but Sophia looked pretty worn down. Every time she made a mousy peep in pain, she could feel her heart waver slightly from a beat. Every time she fell back into those trances where she breathed so heavily her chest could be seen heaving up and down from beneath the blanket, all she could do was try to wake her sister to offer her some more water.
Sonata nibbled on a piece of meat, curled up against the wall with the struggling child at her lap. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to take care of a sick sprite. She never was a sprite, and she'd never met a sprite, asides from Sophia.
She scratched at the scales that stuck out a little, at the tips of her wrist where the bone sort of jutted out, and the inside of her elbow where strays would sometimes get their edges bent when she folded it.
Why wasn't she back yet?
She was supposed to be back already.
Why hadn't someone come for them already?
No matter how many times she came to terms with the idea that nobody was coming back to save them, she still found her way back to discovering all over again that a different side of her was still waiting, completely sure her mother or father would come for them, any day now. And it was a hard thought to refute. It was the most rational thought, after all. What could possibly take down an adult dragon? Why would the king or queen of dragons abandon their heir out of nowhere?
It was the easiest decision to swallow. It was easier to keep faith than it was to drift into the realm of unknowns.
But what could be taking so long!
They couldn't possibly expect the two of them to survive this long. It was out of pure chance she'd had the competence to keep them alive thus far, and even that wasn't going so great. What if Sonata acted predictably and just waited in the cave till she'd starved to death? She was sure that outcome would have already played out by now. Yes, she was trying with all her might to stay alive, but when one calculated the period of time to reasonably expect a six year old and an eleven year old pair of children to stay alive, wouldn't any sane person abide by the worst case scenario? Or at least not the scenario where she managed to beat the odds. The fact that they'd survived this long was a testament to her stubbornness. Expecting her to have survived this long was outright neglect.
"Ow-" Sonata flinched as she pulled out a raw scale she'd been tugging too harshly at. She quickly muted her voice, glancing down to check if she'd woken the sleeping Sophia. Luckily, she seemed to still be enjoying the small period of peace her fever had granted her. She couldn't be sure for how much longer Sophia'd be back at that state from before where she was constantly on the edge of trying to fall asleep and failing, once she woke up again.
Sonata licked the side of her palm and pressed the spit to the tiny self-adorned cut where her scale had once been.
Sonata's concerned expression faded to let bits and pieces of her concealed anger deep through. The flames crackled within the pit, illuminating her a stray strand of pale green hair that floated back and forth in front of her nose. Her brows were scrunched into a frustrated frown. She hated being so helpless. If her mother was here, at least she might have had a sliver of an idea of what to do.
Her hand trembled in weakness, and she let it soundlessly drop to rest against the sand.
How could she leave them here? Especially when she'd begged her. Okay, perhaps she hadn't begged her. But it wasn't like any sane person would have risked angering a dragon. If anything, whining like a child would have made things worse.
If only she wasn't so full of herself, whatever she thought up in that mysterious, secluded mind of hers. Just one question in Sonata's direction and she could have answered a hundred scenarios on why they need to stay with her.
Still, it was something else to think that there was nothing more you could do. You'd lost a battle that happened miles away from you, as you slept. You had no power over it, and you never would have hade a difference under any scenario. That was it, and this was the end. You could hurt your leg and starve to death or lose your sister and there was no safe second option for you to fall back onto. It was a different thing from failing because you made a small mistake in your presumptions. There was no coordinating your efforts for next time. It was just the cards you were dealt.
Sonata shivered as a cold draft nipped at her scales. A soft coo hummed through the cave. A large puddle had formed between their hideout and the exit, where runaway snow had settled upon the lowest point of ground. She could hear the tip tap of a stalactite dripping onto a smaller puddle nearby, but for now they were safe and warm. Though she couldn't be sure what that word, safe, really meant anymore.
It felt so alien to her. Safe.
It had probably only been a couple of weeks, and yet her memories of maneuvering the dark cave and straining her legs sore in the woods filled up so much more space in her brain than the years and years of living in the castle. Memories of her old room were so alien now. The garden where she played with Sophia and the fresh clothes she wore every single day, so much of it felt so far away.
It probably wasn't much safer than being here. Either way, there was still danger. Being a baby dragon at the whims of the unpredictable hundred-something year old adults who could snap at any moment, that was its own danger. But this was different. The fact that she could just as easily die from doing nothing than die from exhorting her energy in all the wrong places, the fact that there was absolutely no one for as far as her feet had taken her to scold her when she forgot and skipped a meal or take care of her when she wasn't feeling well, these were a different type of danger. But she couldn't really say it was more of a danger. It was more like an overall lack of protection from danger, and then comparing that to what was probably a certain level of safety, but then sharing that certain safety with an uncertain danger that might flip one way or the other with little regard for you.
Was she ever really safe? She picked at a twig with her nail until she poked it out of the fire, testing the charred marks for heat to entertain herself with some sort of tactile feedback. The fire was struggling in this chilly, moist weather, so the embers probably wouldn't be too hot, even if she accidentally touched them. Not with her scales protecting her skin.
Sophia stirred from her sleep, clutching the fabric of her sister's dress tremblingly as she coughed onto the ground. Sonata watched her motionlessly until she settled back into her lap, shivering so much she could have deceived an onlooker for the crackling furnace of a fever her body was currently raging.
She remained silent in the hopes Sophia would go back into painless sleep, but as she turned her head to cough again a few moments later, it became more apparent she was awake for good.
"Sophia" Sonata whispered, cupping an arm under Sophia's body to help her up. She was almost like a limp shell in her arms, clinging to the sheets so they wouldn't slip out from under her small hands.
She pressed the wooden bowl they'd used to use for picking berries up to Sophia's lips. "Here, water."
Sophia barely drank anything before she closed her lips shut. She'd tried to make the water warmer this time, but maybe she just wasn't thirsty.
"Do you want to eat? You're losing a lot of energy coughing so much."
Sophia looked up at her wordlessly, the curly hair bordering her face glistening in the pale firelight.
Sonata began to get up from under the figure, but instead readjusted the sheets and picked her up altogether. Sophia wasn't really all that heavy, but it was the awkward size and weight balance of her body that made the girl struggle to get to the roe.
Sonata peeled back some more of the animal's skin with relative ease. To her luck, she'd managed to find a small dagger hidden away among their things after being stuck inside for so long with a sick Sophia. It would have been convenient earlier on, but so long as it was here now.
She held a small chunk of meat up to Sophia's lips. She could have fired it pretty easily, but meat got harder when it was cooked and she doubted Sophia's ability to eat something so tough in this state.
"Aaah" she indicated, as though she were nursing a very small child.
Sophia obediently opened her mouth and the green haired one slipped the small chunk inside. It took a delayed moment for her eyes to widen and her face to warp into disgusted realization. Sonata clamped a hand shut over her mouth just before she managed to spit the meat out.
"No! Sophia! You need to eat something!"
"Mmh!" Sophia whined, wiggling and struggling and nudging Sonata with her shoulder until she almost choked on the meat, it by total chance finding its way down the right pipe.
Sophia glared at her sister with cheeks wet from betrayal. She grimaced, opening her mouth and trying to ariate the taste off of her small, pink tongue.
"That was gross." She hoarsely managed, digging her dainty fingers into the sand.
Sonata shrugged. "You wouldn't have been able to chew the tougher meat when it's cooked." She held a second piece up to Sophia's face.
Sophia angrily submitted to lying back against Sonata's body, her shoulders trembling as though she was being forced to eat snails.
"Come on."
Sophia squeezed her eyes shut, scrunched up her nose, and opened her mouth.
"There we go." Sonata cooed as Sophia did the bare minimum chewing before forcing the mush down her food pipe. Sophia wiped her teary eye, looking up at Sonata as she opened her mouth again.
Sonata smirked. "You're not going to even look anymore, are you?"
"No," Sophia sadly replied as another small nibble was torn off and slipped between her lips, shivering like she really was being forced to eat the most horrible thing every time she had to take a bite. She squeezed her bottom eyelids up in such a horrified way, every time she felt another batch of the foreign matter make contact with her tongue. Of course, all of this was to Sonata's mild amusement.
A small tormented-maiden squeal escaped Sophia's throat. She looked to Sonata pleadingly. "Are we done?"
"A little bit more," Sonata insisted.
"Noo." Sophia whined, shaking her head but still obediently opening her mouth for the next piece.
Four pieces. Sonata mentally berated herself when she found herself begin to consider if that was enough. She'd still barely eaten anything. The way she was being the minimal level of reasonable to still be civil and princessy despite her childish tendencies was kind of cute, though. She decided to give her a break.
"Just three more after this." She cheered her on, rubbing Sophia's arm as she swallowed the fifth piece. She gave a tired, babyish whine.
"Open up. You're doing well."
Sophia shook her head with her mouth open.
"You don't need to look so disgusted. It's just food."
Pop.
"One more. This is the last one."
Sophia was clinging to her sheets by the end like it was the finishing round of some sort of mentally taxing exercise to eat.
Sonata patted her head. "Okay, we're done. You did well," she tried to encourage her. But Sophia just looked as tired and sickly as she'd been before, except now with some upset. Sonata wiped away the remnants of her tears. Honestly, what a little lady act she could put up for someone still young enough to treat her teeth and nails as answers to her problems. She hugged the small, traumatized sprite, and was met with absolutely no resistance. Pfft, for all her insistence otherwise, Sophia was still the complete child she'd watched grow up.
But she stayed hugging her for a couple of moments more, making absolutely sure Sophia wasn't still cross with her before she carried her back to the warmth of the fire.
...
What had she done?
Making her eat food was supposed to help her get better, right? Despite being a sprite, she was still a dragon, so if Sonata was fine eating raw meat it should have been fine for Sophia, shouldn't it?
And yet she was there again with a suffering little sister who looked like she was on the verge between life and death.
Despite the fact that Sonata herself was a child, Sophia was so much smaller. She was the older sibling and she had to protect her. It was always her role to protect her. How could she possibly have messed up so badly as to hurt her?
Had she hurt her? She didn't even know enough about her to tell if it was because she forced raw meat down Sophia's throat or if this was just how her fevers usually went. Was this because she'd moved her? Maybe just a little bit more cold could do this much to a sickly sprite. She really didn't know.
Above all of it, were fevers supposed to last this long in general? She could vaguely remember Sophia being cooped up inside for a few days while she played by herself outside, but she was never the one nursing her back to health, and she never paid particular attention to how long it was. She had no idea if this was normal or she really was unknowingly miserably failing and her little sister was dying.
She'd been left in charge of her. She was the only one there to take care of her. She needed to protect her, and Sophia needed her to do it properly.
If someone else had been in the room, the way Sonata loomed over the small feverish child, her eyes wide and her attention completely focused, they would have probably first thought she was a predator stalking her prey. The way she obsessively lingered inches from Sophia's face for minutes on end, the way she silenced her breaths to listen closely to Sophia's breathing. The way her large green slitted eyes were the brightest things glistening in the darkness—this last one, at least, she had no control over.
Sonata nibbled at her scales nervously, pulling them up from their place and clipping corners off them subconsciously by how much she picked a and abused them. So many times, she got so close to panickedly shaking Sophia awake with everything she had to ask her if she was alright, but she stopped herself again and again before she even touched her, scared to demand from the girl what little of her unknown energy levels she still had.
Sonata rocked in place, hugging herself to try and calm herself down, to quell the raging flood of emotion that threatened to come out as a projectile of fire.
Occasionally she would hear her own breath come out like she was sobbing. Despite the fact that it was Sophia who was the one suffering, nothing but panic and anxiety consumed her form.
"Don't leave me." She mouthed, her long hair hanging down like a canopy around the top of Sophia's unconscious head. She leaned motionlessly over the little girl, unblinkingly sniffling away tears that never came. She hesitated once more before finally, slowly and hesitantly taking taking Sophia's tiny human-like hand, squeezing it as gently as she could manage. "Please don't leave me all alone," she soundlessly choked.