"Are you kidding me, boss?"
I looked at him with glassy eyes.
"No dear. I'm afraid it's my time to take everything off of me from this field. You know that your lady boss did ASKED me to retired earlier just to spend her time to travel while she still young. I quoted her sentences."
With an air quote, he replied gently but empathised certain word. I know what that means. I did heard him sighing to indicate that he couldn't do anything when the lady boss give him life instructions. Bet you need to surrender when the time comes, isn't it? I guessed so.
"Then...just let her travel now but...you don't have to leave us like this. Just get the long break as long you want and come back here to us...please..." I pleaded still standing refusing to sit down.
He paused and approached me with the same expression on his face. A small smile tugging on his lips. I don't even wavered due to our closeness but I did trembled because of the bomb he suddenly dropped on me making me feel vulnerable.
"Listen here, little owl...my precious Didie..." he hold my shoulder and I looked up to see his face. Not even sad, he gave me a smile and produced his signature dimples like me before he continued. "I've known you since you were very young and promised to your momma and dada to always stay by your side if they couldn't make it and I already did the part of the job until today. I know you are strong..."
"But-"
He cut me off by his next sentences.
"I want you to be an independent person, little owl. Standing on your own little feet to lead your future, to shape your own life. I always guided you and now you've already at matured age. You supposed to handle everything on your very own from now on. Be the independent women and make YOUR self proud." He pointed at my chest.
"The biggest challenge is how to handle your own little self. People can make you changed but to change it back...you're the one that know what to do. I'm proud of you and I know that your momma and dada did proud in you too." He kissed my forehead before take out something from his slack pocket.
Yeah...he just said that. It's all because indeed of my matured age...is it a sin if I'm not like the others of so called a three-series person? Without family. Without any relationship with insecurities...many flaws... Gloomy mood slowly getting closer to me.
"I know what your thinking silly and stop it. Now, ehem...so, on my behalf, this is your present from us. Me and your lady boss."
Present?
I stared at the bunch of keys set on his palm. Wasn't it his own properties keys? I looked at him back and forth towards the present and his face.
"What for?" I asked him confusing.
A little bit...NO...a big curious cloudy floating on my silly brain.
Then, he laughed on my sillyness and knocked my forehead gently, teasing me. I frowned. Weird.
"While we're gone out of country... please take good care of this and... don't worry you already have the shared on it. Just so you know, your almighty lady boss just got everything under control until you see them yourself. So...after work just come by to the shack, alright?"
He walked back to his table to continue his job by organising his stuff. Putting so many his belongings, paperworks, files into the boxes, busying himself and I just standing there looking at him not offering any help.
"Oh...I almost forgot to mention...I'll be last today and no party at all because I don't want it but you guys can have some fun by yourself. Put all that on my tabs. Ermm...one more thing...we will flew off by tomorrow evening. Little owl, I just really hope you will move in as soon as possible, okay?"
The new news make my insecurities blown to the top of myself. He looked at me, looked at my silly self. I need to stay in the same composure, try to be cool as I can.
You can do this, Aulia. You're not a kid anymore. You can standing on your own. Don't let those poor souls disappointed. I kept chanting those words in me head. Let it planting rooting into my brain cells as well as in every fiber of my soul.
"It's too soon!" I fiddled my fingers averting my eyes, looking down on the floor. Suddenly, the ugly floor underneath me became my interesting things to stared at.
He chuckled. "I won't accept any declined offer from you, no answer from you. I don't want your lady boss interrogate me about it so you have to move in. I will let Jay helping you out when you ready."
I hung up my head looked at him dumbfounded. Should I say yes? Silly! The lady boss already made up her mind and nothing you can do about it. Remembering lady boss methods to finding out what she want makes me slightly shudder and sending those goosebumps everywhere.
"Okay..." I just agreed! Meh...you have no other options so accept it to avoided lady boss medicines. Yikes, so bitter! Owh...out of my head! I shaked my head inwardly.
"Very good. I'll see you in the evening, okay? We can discuss everything there. Please see yourself out. Thank you."
"Yes, boss"
He shooed me out like always and I'm gonna missed it, definitely. With that, I walked out with gloomy face releasing a big sigh. I was the only one and the last person left to find it out about his retirement and departure news.
Hmmphh... so sudden! I don't think so if lady boss kept pressuring boss about this things. Wasn't she loves money too much? Why, now? They just barely 50 in age and decided to go travel all around the world. So suddenly! I'll find it out tonight.
"What are you dreaming about huh, silly?" says Romeo that suddenly appeared in front of me. I was almost jumped on my feet.
"Why boss....why you didn't tell me about this?" I asked him with furrowed eyebrows.
He should told me about it because he is my very best-friend. He never kept me out, let alone to keep a secret. That was what our promises and with that he betrayed me! I deducted his point silently by minusing it one point three. The third time mistakes after he cheated on my pizza slices not long ago.
"He wanted to tell you himself and I promised that. So I couldn't tell ya about it. He's my boss after all. Sorry..." he looked elsewhere but me.
"I still deducted your point." I say it with serious tone.
"What? Oh...come on babe, it's not fair! He made me promised and if I don't he's gonna cut my payment by five percent. Don't you get it? It's five percent dude. That is my interest money..." he whined like a child holding my hand and swing it back and forth. I pressed my lips together to stifle my laugh. Not everyday I could watch his childish attitude. Mwhahaha.
I cleared my throat. "I don't care it but atleast you can showed some hints to me. Now, he's gonna out of here tomorrow. How about me? Who's gonna back me up if you not around? Don't you get it how scary them towards me?" I huffed and sling my arms on chest with stern faces.
"Ofcourse they were crazy and scary. They don't want you to keep imagine your imaginary love, you stupid! Just wake up! You did promised me to moved on and forgot all of it from those two."
It's his turn now to be the serious one.
"I did moved on Romy, just...just my insecurities...my unsafe self couldn't take it the surrounding, the lovey-dovey scenes everywhere. I'm thirdy plus plus Romeo and keep waiting for my loved one. Unlike me, you've already found your love and already have a family with her with two lovely children. Not to say about expecting the third. I got jealous easily babe! I was inexperienced being in love let alone to loved someone. You don't understand to be the leftover women like me." I furrowed my eyebrows feeling scared suddenly feeling disappointed on myself.
Am I not worthy enough to be loved? To loves someone? To have a relationship with someone? To have a commitment? To raise my own family? My biology clock keep ticking continuesly until it will stop for certain time. I might out of my chances to produce an heir. Oh God...I became more emotional due to this sensitive stuff. I felt so stupid! No wonder they called me stupid, silly, bloated head. I hate it! I hate to let my mind and my soul co-operate together on this. I thought it out loud again.
"Hey...hey D. Stop! You will have your moment dear. You know that, one day there will be something special for you, someone for you. Have faith in it." He swept away my tears but that won't stop the tears to flowing down my cheeks.
He continued. "I know how you feel about it babe. Look at my wife, Sofea, how long she's been waiting for me? Don't you dare to say that I don't be in a situation like you. Yeah, obviously not in your shoes but I experienced it with her. She's just like you walking with insecurities until she met me. But... believed me...out there there is someone else waiting for you to be discovered in the matter of time."
He hugged me trying to console me: my insecurities self my vulnarable one...
My feelings right now is all in one. I knew I'm not having a beautiful side on myself just sillyness surrounding me like a bubbles ready to popped out by some person. It was containing a lot of errors and glitches everywhere. So many flaws. Losing my parents at the age of ten. Kept everything hidden under past ten years until I met Romeo and the rest.
"Come, let's grab something to eat. Boss did told me about everything and I'll help you. You know that your uncle is very demanding. Not to mention your lady boss aunt kept pressuring me on everything especially about you."
He chuckled when heard my laughed.
"Thanks buddy! thanks for everything" I wiped away cleaned my damped face didn't realise it when did I started to cry until it's been flooded down my cheeks.
"Nah...what are friends for? To console each other, right"
He patted my back and just smile. How lucky I am to have such a good friend like him.
"You still have to pay for the meals!" I said cunningly after tranquil of my usual self.
"Owhhh..." groaning, he totally annoying with my attitude.
"I'll be bankrupt so soon....oh my sweet money...my baby..."
"Don't be such a drama boy, stupid! You want me to report back to your Sofea how stingy you are to me, are you? I'll bet she's gonna hid her pot and off her stove not to cook for dinner tonight" I blackmailed him cheekily.
"Un... believable. How bold are you right now after what I've been doing to you before...tsk...tsk...tsk..." he shaked his head while laughed at himself.
"Alright- alright....I'll pay for it! Happy?"
Hah, defeated!
"Definitely, absolutely happy....good boy!" I patted his head like a child after being scolded. He snickered at my actions.
He standing there making stupid faces to show me how miserable he is right now about his money his baby before we walked out from the building headed out to our favorite spot to grab some lunch.
I patted my stomach while smiling happily to use Romeo's money. Hahaha...what a beautiful day and hope Romeo happy too. šš