The world spins on a tilted axis. It always has. Why? I asked Mother. Because it is so tilted by the weight of evil and twisted minds, that it'll never be straight again. That's what Mother told me anyway. I was five. The age for curiosity. But you know what they say. Curiosity killed the cat. But unlike the cat, satisfaction did not bring me back. I became a ghost, drifting from place to place. For some reason, I was never able to cross to the other side.
It was just another regular day of me drifting in the wind when I felt a pull on my soul. Imagine my surprise when a red string appeared around my waist and started tugging me East. I naturally tried to run in the other direction but I failed. Horribly. I was dragged across the face of the earth and compressed into a small ball. It hurt. Like, it really hurt. When I became conscious, I found myself dangling from a tree wrapped in that stupid red thread. And for some reason, I was a baby again. And I was hanging, completely nude, mind you. I started to scream in frustration when someone plucked me from that stupid tree.
"Huh. Female. Figures." The one who plucked me from the tree was a man who looked about 18 years old. He was holding me up and examining me from head to toe. I looked at the beautiful man who had freed me from the thread with dead fish eyes and said, " Old Pervert! "
His expression darkened. "Like anyone would like a flat board like you! " '' Hmph! Then bring me some clothes! " I crossed my arms and turned my head away. " Look at your personality. The old cooch really made a good choice. Expect that you're female. " " What's wrong with being female? Hello? Gender equality? " The man didn't even spare me a glance and kept muttering to himself. " Well, I suppose you need a name… Let's see… Bai Luxue?" I gagged. Seriously, Bai Luxue?! Kill me now. " What about Hong Liuyun? " This guy has really bad taste. " I think it's better if I choose my own name… Your taste in names sucks, if I'm being brutally honest. " " Fine. You choose. " " I like the name Li Yinlan! Yin as in sound and Lan as in wolf! " He looked speechless then he tossed me a set of clothes. "Get changed. After you're done, Changle here will lead you to my study. You need to learn how to do your job so you don't make a mess of life. " He spoke as he walked away. I cocked my head in confusion. What did he mean by "make a mess of life" ? I shook that thought away. Whatever, he'll probably explain. Getting dressed is most important as of now.
Afterwards, Changle led me to the man's study. Along the way, I realized that the scenery here was very different compared to where I lived as a child. I lived in a rundown place with my mom in the East District of Songhai city in Huaxia nation. It was a relatively technologically advanced place. But this place looked nothing like Songhai city. It was like those places from those TV shows my mom used to watch. Grass growing on a hillside with an expensive-looking pavilion sitting by the cliff.
When I entered the beautiful man's study, he was sitting cross-legged, reading a book by his table. He looked up at me as I walked in. " Good. Now let's get started. First of all, my name is Bai Xiaojun. Many people know me as Yue Lao. Yes, that Yue Lao. And you are the soul that has been assigned to me as my partner and assistant. Which means you will be helping me find fated couples and tie them together with the red string of fate. But before you start field work, you must learn the basics of how to find fate."
"Wait, hold up. You mean being your partner as in being your partner-in-crime in messing with people's love lives?! I don't even know what love is myself! How am I supposed to help you find some emotion that I doubt even exists? " "Love isn't an emotion. Rather it's the chemical reaction or realization that occurs as a result of the mixture of multiple bodily hormones and chemicals that leads to a sort of on and off euphoria. Love is just an umbrella term for all these chemical reactions. What humans like to call love is actually nothing more than a mixture of lust, jealousy, warmth and fate. And the key ingredient is fate. " After his lecture came many more years of lessons, growth and experiments. Thus began the daily life of the love god's assistant.