Nirvana Forlorn

vkŭshti sŭm...

(I'm home...)

I closed my eyes and let the brisk wind blow some strands of my hair. The night is dead and so are the townsfolk's senses. It's been a decade and a half...

Samsara, where are you?

I slowly opened my eyes and looked down the bridge, only to see the reflection of the full moon on the calm water. Gumusservi. I smiled. How did this malignant metal from the night sky brought so much beauty in the dark depths of the river?

I've always admired the light of the moon compared to the light of the day. I remembered Vincent Van Gogh's words "I often think that the night is more alive than the day" and in my view, he proved a point because I am a witness that the night has so much to offer. The night was always been pure. For me, daylight was always been artificial. I never really think much of staying under the sun, I have always wasted my days because I hate pandemonium from humans. I hate interacting with humans because they carry chaos and I hate noises.

For me, you can only see beauty through the absence of daylight because beauty isn't always required to be seen. Sometimes it requires to be felt. There's so much beauty at night and its silence.

"Mrazya tuk. Samo mi napomnya za loshi spomeni, no kato che li ste propusnali da ste v tazi strana, Vana" (I hate here. It only reminds me of bad memories, but you seem to have missed being in this country, Vana). I glanced at my younger brother who is currently leaning on the railings of the bridge beside me with crossed arms. Koleido wasn't here a while ago, I must've forgotten that he was always been a fast moving animal that's why I didn't noticed.

"Samsara sŭshto obicha tozi most. Tuk tya otiva Vseki pŭt, kogato e tŭzhna. Negovata kauza? Rekata e tolkova spokoĭna i iska da bŭde edin ot gratsioznite vetrove. Tya zavizhda na krasotata na tova myasto, zashtoto za razlika ot bezopasnostta, koyato chuvstvashe tuk, nashiyat svyat vinagi e bil zastrashen, zashtoto sme zaobikoleni ot khora." (Samsara also loves this bridge. This is where she goes Everytime she's sad. Her reason? The river is so calm and she wanted to be one of the graceful wind. She's envious of this place's beauty because unlike the safety she felt here,  our world was always in threat because we're surrounded by humans.) He removed himself from leaning on the railings and faced the river. He smiled bitterly.

We got silent for a few minutes. We were both looking at the calm water below and listened to the bubbling brook . A tear escaped my eye, I wiped it secretly. I gazed up to the sky to prevent more tears from falling. I shouldn't be weak in front of my younger brother. I'm the second eldest and I should take responsibility of this mission. I noticed that the sky also seemed to be lonely just like I am. There are no stars tonight, I think it will rain.

"How can we find her, Nirvana?" I faced my brother with bravery evident in my eyes.

"Vladetelite na tozi grad" (The rulers of this town).

"Serpentines" he uttered. I closed our distance. I reached out his head and gently tapped it.

"Koleido, nie shte bŭdem edin na drug. Nie se vŭrnakhme tuk vŭv Philippines za tozi grad. Shte predpriemem otchayani stŭpki, za da ya vŭrnem obratno, dostatŭchno strada. Ubiĭ ili ubiĭ. Nashata sŭdba ne e poslednata. Skoro shte se sreshtnem s Samsara" (Koleido, we will be each other's armor. We returned here in the Philippines for this town. We will take desperate measures to get her back, she suffered enough. Kill or get killed. Our fate is not the latter. Soon we'll reunite with Samsara).

"I miss her. She doesn't deserve to be treated like a monster!" he punched the railings which caused deformation to the metal.

"We're not the monsters here Kol, we are also victims" just like what I thought it rained. The wind got colder and strong. Tila sinasabayan nito ang emosyon naming magkapatid.

"Kill or get killed" he repeated and nodded his head.