"How are you?", he asked her, holding her hand tightly and kissing and caressing it.
"I've been waiting for this day. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I prayed hard that you'll be back safely the soonest time possible. Now that you're here, I'm a little calmer." she replied laying her head in his shoulder. Taking a deep breath and released it. She felt secured having him around. He is her rock.
He chuckled. "You? Nervous? I don't believe it!" he held her shoulders to properly look at her as if examining her face. "Where is that nervous look?" His left eyebrows slightly rose as if not believing. Then he looked directly in her eyes and softly asked, "What are you scared of? You are an intelligent person, the most brilliant nurse I've ever known. You put your best at everything that you do and you do it with care as if you're doing it for the people you loved. You're decisive, and follows your conscience at all times. Your instincts are superb and you're diligently do your duties. You are the most prepared and resilient person I've known. You've topped the board with flying colors, surely you'll never fail the Emergency Medical Services exam and assessment. You have experience, and you used it to improve yourself. You are far more qualified to be a paramedic. Most importantly, the reason you're doing all this is so that you could help aid people in emergency cases." His lengthy reply cleared her mind. He showed her her strength. He is encouraging her in ways he know will show me my attributes to help me become confident. He's always been my cheerleader.
Suddenly, she has flashbacks. She remember the reason why she wanted to become an EMS Responder; So she could prevent the loss of life in emergency cases. She believes that if a patient is timely and properly given immediate care during emergency cases, it's highly probable that he/she will survive. .
She remembers her parents case, their accident was a major one. It was a head on collision. They were still breathing when the first responders arrived at the scene and went to check on them. But they were not immediately brought to the hospital and because they were severely bleeding, they were announced dead on arrival.
She learned about it when she was in high school. She is seeing it like it happened yesterday, so vivid that she's feeling the feelings she felt before.
Her aunt and Cai Su's mom were talking in the kitchen when she happened to arrive home early due to having colds. As she heard voices in the kitchen, she slowly walks towards it and she heard her aunt ranting about the ''If onlys''.
"If only the responders have arrived earlier, her parents would have been still alive. If only the Team Leader is more decisive, they were supposed to be prioritized due to the severity of their injuries. If only the responders were more trained, they would have managed their injuries properly. Lastly, If only they were successfully rescued, Zhao'er could still feel the love and care of her parents." She can clearly feel the hurt her aunt is feeling, a little bit of prejudice she has for the responders that attended to her parents and pity for her. She saw Cai Su's mom comforting her.
She too first felt like blaming the responders after hearing her aunt. Feeling hurt, she slowly walked to her room and laid there for minutes. Her feelings raging, she couldn't help the tears to flow down her face. She too have her set of "What ifs".
"What if the team responded to her parents were well trained and their leader decisively and efficiently managed them? What if her parents were still alive?" and a lot more.
After a few moments, she mustered up all her strength. She vowed to herself that she will study harder than ever. She will do her best, and finish her education. She will give her all and do everything efficiently. She will train harder than anyone else to become the most effective responder her province could ever have. She will make sure that all in her team is well trained as well. And they will become the Elite Response Team.
Remembering this, she feels her heart surged with the will to fulfill that vow. This is her chance. She worked hard all these years, and she is now one step away from her dreams. This is no time to be nervous. She is prepared. How silly of her to doubt her self even for a sec.
She smiled, looked at Cai Su and nod her head. "You're really that amazed of me? I didn't know!" she cockily teased him wriggling her eyebrows up and down.
He smiled back and internally praised himself, 'There you go bud, see that confidence in her smile?' He clicked his tongue and winked at her. "You're the only one who doubted yourself! Now enough of that, Im starving. How do you feel about visiting your aunt?", he happily invited.
"Sounds great to me!" she held his hand and they both faced her grandmother's grave and said their goodbye. Slowly, they walked back to his car.
"To the Resto!" Cai Su said while acting like a child. She giggled, "So silly" which he answered, "Only with you."