CHAPTER SIX:
"Mom, where are you going?!" I look around us frantically, my eyes darting around the forest as I run behind her. She's slower than normal, but even so she's running with all she has. It's like a wounded doe running for freedom, that one taste of transcendence within the basic realities of nature. To live, to experience that natural exhale and inhale we all take for granted. It's pitiful. Watching her struggle with her injured leg, limping with blood now completely soaking the cotton wrap around her wound.
She turns her head to the side, stopping for a moment to take a look at her surroundings. For anything that will point us to my sister's whereabouts. Her face twitches in pain, and I notice how her bottom lip trembles.
"Mom..." I start, but she answers me before I can repeat the question.
"Where do you think? I'm going to find your sister!" Mom shouts, making me flinch. Someone could have heard her.
"In town; are you nuts?!" I cry, quickening my pace. When my hand latches on her shoulder, she pushes me back, making me stumble a few steps. I look at her in bewilderment, as if I don't recognize the person standing—no, slouching before me.
"W-We can take the tunnels into town, and then we'll find Vivi's brother's place and see if they went there for help. I'm sure he'd be the first person she'd go to for help, even if he's cold on the inside," Mom mumbles, sounding hysterical and completely unlike herself.
"Mom, do you know how crazy that sounds? You're saying we should go into town—when its daylight? What happens if they aren't there; or worse, we get caught? How will Rhiannon survive without us?" I say with complete conviction, trying to bring logic into the equation.
"If you don't like the idea, then you can go back to the caves. I'm going to find your sister and I'll do anything to complete this mission. I don't care if you're with or without me. Make up your damn mind, Mellie!" She snarls at me. If I hadn't felt inferior and unwanted before, I do now.
"Do you even have to tell me this? I know you would do anything for her. But the thing about me is that I don't leave my loved ones behind. I'm coming with you," I tell her honestly without hesitation. I might have snubbed her, but if she's intent on being open with her feelings, I'll return the favour.
"Then stop being a bother," Mom growls and turns to leave towards the tunnels. I stare at her back, dumbfounded. I can feel my insecurities increasing by the second, swirling right inside my chest. What a way to make me feel like a nuisance. And that's coming from someone with a leg injury...
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It feels like hours since we've started walking, but I'm sure it's only been minutes. The sky is in a blank white state; a vast blanket of fog sifts through the trees and lands silently on the grassy, leaf scattered ground. I look at our surroundings in wonder, feeling nature's tug on my soul. The fresh air is a pleasure to my lungs, not used to the clear scent of dew on the grass, nor the strong smell of clean water as it sprays from the rippling current of a creak. Of course in the caves it had been similar; but never this...real. I've never really been able to have a taste of nature's offerings like this in the open.
"I'm sorry for what I said," Mom says suddenly, interrupting my thoughts. I nod, not wanting to talk about her behaviour. Her mood swings pull me down. I don't even feel like she's my mom; just someone who's always been there. I know she loves me. She just has a really hard time showing it.
"How long do you think it is to the tunnels?" I ask, changing the subject.
"I think it's across this field," she replies, pointing towards a large farming field. She flinches when she stumbles over an overgrown tree root, her leg injury an unpleasant inconvenience.
I ignore my worry for her leg and take out the map. I examine the legend and find the marker of the tunnel, moving my index finger across the page to a cylinder-shaped structure. I nod in understanding when I place ourselves at the entrance of a field.
"Yeah, I think so too," I say while stuffing the map back in my pocket for safe keeping.
We make our way across the field, but as we are ten steps in I notice we're too exposed. I frown and pull out the map once again and gulp in fear at what I missed.
"Mom, it has a banned sign on here and a flame symbol; which means it's a risk. We shouldn't be walking through here," I inform, growing anxious by the second.
"Didn't you just look at the map; how stupid can you be?! Jesus, Mellie, we could be getting stalked right now because of your thoughtlessness," her eyes are wide and full of anxiety. I can feel my heart practically drop, her words only increasing my fears.
"Well, if you wouldn't have made me drown in selfpity, then I would've been able to pay attention to the map. Do you think I like being called a bother?" I hiss in reply to her hysterical hounding. I say this without looking at her, and instead focus on our surroundings.
"I should have realized that you were never mature enough to leave the caves," Mom groans, leaving me speechless. I continue to say nothing and follow her as she strides forward, going a faster pace when we reach the middle.
"Just a little more and we're there," Mom whispers.
We near the entrance of the forest and it's almost like a ray of sunshine over the horizon, beautiful and relieving to our current worries. My heart races with each step I take. Danger surrounds us, and it could easily pounce any second.
When my shoes stomp over the leaves of the forest floor, I sigh in relief. We look at each other and smile lightly for making it through the danger zone.
"I think we need to walk up through here. The map is a little confusing," I mumble, pointing down a hill off to our left.
Mom nods and moves towards the hill. I feel very distant from her at this point, even though she is walking next to me. I continue thinking on what she'd said, but her voice soon brings me back to reality.
"I'm so-" Mom starts as she turns back to face me, but her voice is cut off when a bloodcurdling scream resounds throughout the forest.
We look at each other with fear and confusion plastered over our faces; did we just imagine that or...?
"Please; I'm pregnant!" we hear a woman cry, sounding out of breath and extremely close.
"Mom," I whisper, looking at her for guidance.
"W-We can't do anything. We need to get to the tunnels," she turns back towards the hill, a hesitant and bewildered expression on her face. It's as if she can't believe she's really leaving the woman to defend herself, of how she's going against everything she stands for to find my sister.
"She's pregnant, Mom. What if that was Rhiannon calling for help and someone didn't bother helping her? Wouldn't that just bring us to the same level as the cold ones? I know we shouldn't trust this woman, but remember when Anna saved us from that police officer all those years ago? This is our karma." I tell her what I feel from the heart. It's the humane thing to do.
Her back faces me, but I know she's thinking on what I said. Her shoulders slouch forward, and her hands appear to tremble like brittle leaves about to take flight.
"No, please help me! Anybody?!" The woman screams again, her voice much closer than previously.
"Ugh," Mom sighs in frustration.
I stare at her, hoping that she'll let us do the right thing.
"No, we'll just put ourselves in danger by helping her. Raven gave us advice and we need to listen to it," she whispers in reply, moving down the hill.
"Fucking bitch!" I hear a man's voice yell this time.
"I don't care what you say. Mom, I'm going to see what I can do for that woman," I tell her, my voice quiet yet stern. I turn away from her and make my way further into the forest. There's plenty of bushes to use as cover, so I crouch down behind them.
"You're worse than your sister! God-damn frustrating if you ask me!"
"I guess we get it from you," I retort, watching for any movements as I quickly dart behind bush after bush and pass trees.
"Mellie, don't do this," Mom pleas, trying to grab at my clothing, but I pull back before she's able to reach me. She's having trouble following me now due to her injury.
"Like you said before: 'you're either with me, or not,'" I whisper, hating that she always forces me to follow her lead but never heeds any of my decisions. I've made plenty of mistakes, but I'm only human. I'm sure this is another mistake I'll add to my long list, but I'd rather die doing something good than retreating like a coward.
"Use your brain, Mellie. Those men..." Mom points in the direction where the cries for help came from, "they have weapons—guns. And they won't hesitate to torture, rape, capture, or kill us. What if it's a trap? The woman could be bait for dumb women hiding. Look at it my way, alright! Don't be one of those gullible women," she shakes my shoulders as she tries to persuade me to flee.
"You're saying we should turn our backs on someone who needs our help? To turn off our humanity?" I retort, feeling my blood boil. Mom wasn't the compassionate, warm-hearted woman I'd always imagined her to be. Maybe my memories of her growing up were all just distorted with my own longing for an ideal parent? Was she really this cruel? She's become hardened over the years, but I at least saw some light within her. Has she become so polluted by her environment that she's become this selfish coward? She's right, they have resources and we don't. But there must be a way we could help that woman?
"No, I'm saying we should focus on our instincts and the mission at hand. Let's go, we still have to find your sister," Mom stares back at me with a hard look in her eyes. I give up, knowing that I'm defenceless without the knife; which she has in her pocket. Of course I could make a weapon out of broken braches, but that would take time. And I think a gun against a wooden spear would have a greater impact; so my chances of saving that woman are low.
"Hurry up."
I nod in defeat and slowly make my way behind her, cautiously watching the ground for noisy Earth crumbs. Stepping on a stick or falling over a tree root would not hold well in our favour. We're too close to the cold ones for comfort.
I can still hear the woman's cries for help; they're louder this time, franticly trying to gain attention of anyone that could save her. I close my eyes as I hear them, and know by the repetitive yelps and gut-wrenching sounds that she's being raped. I'm innocent, but not obtuse.
When I was younger, I accidentally changed the television channel to one for mature audiences. Let's just say I had been given a long and excruciating talk about sex from my father after that. He was the kinder parent, the gentle one that I could talk about anything with. I guess he knew Mom would have freaked me out with her version; her tough, insensitive explanation probably would have scarred me for life.
But I'm sure this situation will too.
"It's for the best," Mom tells me, knowing that my mind is focused on the woman's tragic predicament.
"So rape is for the best?" I scoff, shaking my head in frustration.
Mom doesn't answer but stops suddenly. She holds her hand back at me, making me stop in confusion.
"What-" I start but cry out when a loud bang resounds throughout the forest, the rocketing sound so close that my ears ring in result.
"Don't move, bitches!" I hear someone shout. My heart nearly drops in fear.
"Mom," I yelp, not knowing what to do.
"It's all because of you," she says so quietly I can barely hear her.
But I do.
All because of you.