February 21st, 2019

***

Coldwater. I hold back a shiver as it runs down my scalp and spine, making my clothes cling to my already thin frame.

I clamp my mouth shut and try not to let the water in. Wishing I could do the same with my ears.

"Poor little thing looks like a drowning kitten." Maya sneers, an arrogant smirk on her lips. She reaches down her perfectly manicured hand as if to help me up. "That's quite the fall you had there, and such a shame that the dirty water fell all over you. Here let me give you a hand up."

Allison and Derek snigger along with everyone else in the classroom.

I don't take Maya's hand. I already know how this will end anyways. Maya pretends to look hurt though I can see the smirk playing in her eyes still.

"Are you just going to ignore me now?" Maya says, even though it's the other way around.

"I don't need your help," I whisper as I stare holes into the wooden floor of the classroom. The dirty water is spreading all over it, though none of it close enough to touch Maya's designer heels.

I already knew the slap was coming but I'm still surprised by the sound as it echoes through the classroom and the biting pain in my cheek that throws my head to the side. My eyes go wide and I bite the inside of my cheek to keep the tears from springing up.

"After all I've done for you this is what I get back?" Fat crocodile tears brim her eyes but her makeup doesn't falter once, she spends too much on her favorite brand's waterproof makeup for that to happen.

Always the victim never the villain I say to myself as I drill holes in the classroom wall, anything to not look at their faces, the looks of contempt etched into every feature.

Maya walks out of the class supposedly crying and everyone files out after her to see if she's okay. Allison turns to me before walking out, we're the only two left in the class, "An orphan bitch should know their place."

The door clicks softly closed after her and the nightmarish scene comes to a close. But yet I don't wake up, because as much as I wish it was a dream, this is my life. And I hate it.

***

The house door clicks shut behind me, my clothes are still wet from the earlier event, my white uniform shirt has turned into a gray mess.

The pain in my cheek has receded into a dull throb. I swallow down the lump in my throat as I take off my battered leather shoes, that are now soaked in water.

I try to tell myself that it can't get any worse but that would be a lie.

I glance in the hallway mirror as I head towards the living room, Maya's slap is so visible it hurts, you can see palm and each finger spread out in one red mark over the space.

I bite the edge of my lip and carry on, over the years I've learned not to cry. Not from the pain and not from anything else, I won't let them see my tears. Tears are the one thing that gives them more power than they already have over me.

I stop just outside the living room door, auntie and uncle's voices can be heard through the slightly ajar door.

"Are you sure we should do this?" Auntie's high pitched voice comes floating into the hallway.

"It's not like she'll notice anyway, she's too stupid to even realize that we only took her in so we could get her parent's money." Uncle sneers, I drop my head, from day one I knew they never cared about me, it was always the money they wanted. They're no better than greedy pigs.

Auntie laughs and it sounds high and nasally, it always reminds me of a hyena.

I grit my teeth before plastering on a smile and rapping lightly on the door. All the noise in the room stops. "Auntie, Uncle, I'm back," I say in a sing-song voice, I never say home because this hell hole never will be one to me.

"Ah Idris, welcome back. Please come in here, we have some things to discuss," Uncle's stern voice wafts through the door.

I breathe in once before pushing open the door and step into the living room, Auntie and Uncle sit at the old mahogany table that I'm 90% sure they bought using my parent's money. "What is it, Uncle?" I say, playing ignorance to the end.

They gesture to the seat opposite them and I pull it out before sitting down in the seat. Auntie takes out a handkerchief and uses it to dab at the non-existent tears in her eyes. Her scrunched-up face only reminding me more of a hyena, I hold back the laugh as I think about how bad actors they are.

I look up to met Uncle's cold gaze, it feels as if he's not looking at me but a block of meat out on the cutting board. I'd be surprised if he even knew I was a person, much less than I was related to him by blood.

Auntie pretends to sob into her handkerchief, "Idris we're so sorry but we need you to leave the house."

The words ring in my ears for a second, I didn't see that coming, I know they hated me being here but I never thought they would throw me out.

"You want me to leave?"

Auntie nods before sniffing, "I'm sorry, I just don't think we can take care of you anymore. We're just not as financially stable as we used to be…." Bullshit. Complete and utter crap. They've been using my parent's money for years. "We have our own kids too. With all of it, we just can't have you here anymore."

Yeah right, your two little angels who are twenty pounds overweight while I'm twenty under. I can totally see how hard life must be for you.