Eli is right. Past is past. Baek Joon-Woo is already dead.
I look at my hand.
He felt so alive. Even it was just a memory, I still want to go back and laugh with him again.
Though I am sitting beside Eli, I can't stop thinking about that boy.
Eli holds my hand -- the same one that Baek Joon-Woo kissed. Though they have the same face, I realize how different they are now. Whenever I touch Eli, it feels like I am touching the sun. His hot skin against my palm is replacing the ghost of Baek Joon-Woo's kiss. I try to take back my hand. He holds my hand tighter. It hurts a little. When I look at him, the words drown in my throat. His gaze is piercing as if he can see through me.
I don't say anything and look out of the window. The city lights are bright, but I miss the stars.
Evie is already dead. Until the last moment, she didn't move on from Baek Joon-Woo. I am sure that she's right. There's more to the incident. Baek Joon-Woo was killed by someone. He didn't betray me.
I want to remember. I want to know the truth. I glance at the Devil cat sleeping on Eli's lap. Why is he sleeping when I want to remember?
But Eli doesn't want me to remember. I don't know what to do. My feelings for Eli might change if I remember, but I would do injustice to Baek Joon-Woo if I don't try to remember when I know that he was killed.
That's an excuse. I didn't want to remember when Evie told me that Baek Joon-Woo was killed. I didn't go to Baek Joon-Woo's grave once. I kept running away from that boy.
"We are here." Eli nudges me. He scoops up the cat with his left arm. He doesn't let go of my hand. I get off the cab and follow him. He rings the bell. After a few minutes, I hear a grumpy voice through the intercom. [You are back again.]
"Benny, my wife is also here," Eli replies with a cheerful voice. "Aigoo! Don't be shy. Open the door. I want to introduce my best friend to her."
[Don't call me that. We only have a professional relationship.] Though the voice sounds a little angry, the door is unlocked.
"Wife, hold him." He gives me the cat. The Devil cat feels heavier. His belly is nearly normal though. Eli opens the door and pulls me along with him. A short and round man with reddish cheeks and a sharp nose is standing with his hands in his pockets. He narrows his eyes on me and says, "Miss Solomon, I have heard a lot about you."
So, he's the man with whom Eli doesn't mind drinking tea at 3 of the morning. "I also heard a lot about you."
"I guess that you know everything now." Benny gives me a look. "My name is Benjamin Bates in this world."
In this world? I furrow my brows. Does he have other names in other worlds?
"Benny is the best lawyer in the city," Eli says to me. His mood is lighter. Benny must be his good friend.
Benny coughs, "Best lawyer in the world."
"Benny, there are human lawyers who are better than you are." Eli smirks at him, "They don't charge that high either."
"Those humans couldn't prevent your woman from going to prison." Benny scowls at him. "What did I get in return for helping you?"
"Don't lie." Eli looks at him scornfully. "It wasn't that difficult for you."
"But difficult things wait for me in the future."
"You are overestimating."
"Hmph! I don't want to argue with a ghoul."
Did they forget that I am here?
"It might be a little late to say this, Mr Bates." I smile at Benny. "Thank you for helping me."
Benny stares at me, startled. He rubs his nose and looks away. He peers at Eli and grumbles, "Too good for a ghoul."
"I told you, Benny" Eli chuckles. "My wife is an extraordinary one."
"I don't know why she would be with you when she can be with other creatures who won't chew her bones." Benny walks ahead of us. He opens the door to the living room. The floor is so clean that I can see my reflection.
Benny must have a good cleaner. I sit beside Eli since he won't let go of my hand. Benny squints hard at me. When the cat purrs, he takes a glance at the cat. He frowns a bit and then, looks back at Eli. I can't tell what's going inside this lawyer's head.
A man with a long white beard and round eyes walks into the living room with a food trolley. The man is even shorter than Benny. He is wearing green clothes and a collar around his neck. I have seen this man before. He places the plates of desserts in front of us. He doesn't look at us once. I watch him while he's pouring the tea. "I have seen you before."
"He's the leprechaun who came to your home that day." Eli squeezes my hand. "I gave him to Benny as a part of the payment."
The leprechaun glares at Eli but says nothing. He leaves with the food trolley.
A real leprechaun…
Let it be. I should get used to these things now.
"It took a while to train him." Benny cracks his fingers. "You basically dumped your problem on me, Eli."
"You always wanted a servant." Eli rolls his eyes. "Did you expect me to give you a trained one? I would have kept him if he was trained."
"..." It's best not to say anything.
"Where is this place?" The Devil Cat raises his head groggily. "Little Marshmallow, I only slept for a while and-- Oh, there was even a car accident…"
He blinks his eyes several times and looks up at me. He opens his mouth to say something.
Keep your mouth shut, Devil.
The Devil cat doesn't speak. He closes his eyes again. Eli glances at me. "Is everything alright?"
"Yes." I need to have a talk with this cat.
"I need to talk to Benny about something." Eli lets go of my hand. "I will be back in ten minutes."
"Okay." I grin at him. "I will wait here."
After Eli and Benny head to another room for a chat, I put the cat on the seat beside me. "Stop pretending to sleep."
The Devil looks at me. "You want to remember."
"Do you have the ability to give my memories back?" I ask him. He has always questioned whether I wanted to remember or not.
"I don't." The Devil sighs. "You will remember with time."
"Why am I getting my memories back now?" I have many questions. Eli might think that I shouldn't remember, but these are my memories. I will decide whether I should remember or not. "Devil, speak the truth."
"There's a spell on your mind and body." The Devil cat explains to me, "You would have remembered before the tenth death anniversary of Baek Joon-Woo. I can't speak more than this. The spell also affects me. I can't tell you more."
I inhale sharply. That's why the Devil has been asking me to kill myself. "What are you?"
The cat tells me with a calm voice, "When you were facing the most painful moment of your life, a piece of your soul fell out. I was born from that piece of soul. For the last nine years, you have been nurturing me with your emotions and little magic that you could still derive from the source. When the spell is broken, you will remember everything. Your magic will be freed too. You will also remember that painful moment. Do you still want to remember?"
A piece of my soul fell out because of pain. How painful that moment must have been?
Whether I want or not, the memories will come back.
"That's true." The Devil cat shrugs. "But I can hold them back for a while if you don't want to remember. Maybe you should spend some time with Little Marshmallow before you face the same suffering again. After you remember, I don't know what you will do."
Yeah, there's a reason why I didn't want to remember. "Should I marry Eli?"
"Do you want to marry him?" He questions me with narrowed eyes. "Did you forget why you wanted to live? You promised him that you wouldn't leave him. Little Marshmallow might become someone like you if you leave him."
"He deserves a better person." I lean back, staring up at the ceiling. "He should be with someone who can give him all of her pieces. Look at me, Devil. Even my soul isn't intact."
The Devil puts his head on my lap. "But he wants you. Can't you make him happy until all of your memories return? I like him a lot."
"Fine." I run my hand on the cat's fur. "Hold the memories as long as you can. Tell me when you can no longer keep the memories away from me."
"Are you going to leave him after you remember?" The cat blinks his eyes at me.
"I don't know." I can't speak about something that hasn't happened yet. "Keep this a secret from Eli."
"Must I?" The cat seems reluctant.
"You must." I release my breath. Eli was quite anxious when I told him that I remembered a moment from the past. "Let's put him at ease."