"It's late, get some sleep at least,"
I heard the voice from my door then footsteps as he went downstairs to cook dinner. I was sulking in bed at my behaviour, I thought about the times before where I cracked, and the countless times before. Why am I so fragile? Even in childhood I almost burnt out even when my brother was still going. I'm so pathetic. Saying I'm strong, saying I'm able to change the world, it's all bullsh*t. Even now I'm huddle in a ball on my bed sulking. I'm useless.
"Ahhhhh,"
I yelled. Then I got up. Then I opened my door and kept my eyes open even though they were being blinded by the lights. I stormed downstairs and Osric turned around to look at me as he was cooking dinner.
"Osric, no Cyrille Emmanuel Regalia! Teach me how to be a leader!"
He smiled a small smile then said his reply.
"No,"
I froze.
"What?! Why not??"
I was so sure he was going to agree.
"And don't call me Cyrille,"
I furrowed my brows in frustration.
"What do you want me to do?"
I asked, I really wanted him to at least give me tips, he is head of a family.
"Grow up,"
He said without looking.
You've got to be kidding me.
...
"Noah, how do you do it?"
I said as I sat next to him on the rooftop of the royal court building, we've been doing this quite often, just sitting on the roof for and hour in each other's silent company.
"Hmm?"
He said, questioning my out of nowhere question.
"How do you lead without cracking,"
He stared at the clouds more before answering.
"You don't, you just hide it and keep going like nothing happened. Battle scars don't show your weakness, they show your strength,"
Even though his unmoving posture and his moving words did not match I trusted them and knew what he meant by it. Footsteps up the stairs then the door opened. I looked back to see magician standing at the door and indicating for me to come over. I went over and I felt the brief gaze of Noah's eyes on me before he returned to watching to clouds.
"I don't get how you do it, just sitting there and looking at Satan knows what,"
I smiled mentally at the unusual use of the phrase. When we got into the classroom where the High Priestess and Osric were they all stared at me.
"First off you got to convince that brother of yours to let you stay here for the rest of high school, can you do that?"
"Sure, that's not hard if I don't get killed when I enter the household,"
I said to them as I remembered my first trip to that building. I got ambushed and I almost died. Fun times.
"Oh yes, the palisade brothers,"
Osric said with a serious look.
"He's got them under him?"
"Yep, the royal palace is probably in uproar because of their absence as well,"
"Ok, now to the real deal, Joker is going to give you special permission to rise higher then your age so if you can make it to the 12's ace of wands, then pass another little test we'll give you a position in the royal court. That means that you and Noah can hang out all day long and you'll no longer have the responsibility of leader,"
I thought about it. The responsibility of a leader is to take every fight that happens in your year and judge it. It also means that you have to lead the fights across schools and years. It takes time out but I've never thought about it being a burden. Everyday sitting on the roof doing nothing sounds nice as well, there's also the fact that I get more privileges but come with that is attention.
"No, I have to decline,"
Attention is too much as it is, also I bet Elijah wouldn't be too happy if I got caught the moment he took his eyes off me.
'Can you think about this? Please?'
He wanted me to do it? That's rare.
'Why? All it's going to cost me is attention and too much'
'Ask them about it. They want you on their side and think, there are strong opponents, remember the wheel of fortune?'
It's tempting but... I don't want to get caught.
"If it's the media attention we can make an exception,"
I mentally raised my eyebrows at Osric mentally. He shook his head, if he didn't tell magician then how? I looked towards magician trying to see his thought process.
"I took a stab in the dark,"
I said as he looked at my wondering eyes.
"Fine, but no attention,"
I feel like I'm getting mentally older. Can't I just go back to my rooftop sleep?
"I'll give you 2 months,"
I smiled at magician. The sooner I get this over with the sooner I can spend all day looking at clouds.
"I'll only need one,"