Ahim was always precautious, else I would be dead, we would be beaten to death a long time ago. He believed us, there was a huge gap between us, human beings and Ahim. If life goes wrong, yes finally everything seems wrong. Life is philosophical to talk about. We all think about our lives, but what life really is? It is in face scary, I become a scaredy-cat, I become so hesitant to touch the spot. I always knew I had to find the core but it always felt like I was thinking about touching a very hot pot barehanded.
Human beings are born to die one day. Within the span of such a short time, we all enjoy, have fun, cry, beat, get beaten, raise, fall, suffocate and levitate like the purpose of life depend on those momentary feelings. How long can you hold your breath under the water? It doesn't matter unless you fall into a deep water body. How long you can survive in your low times. It matters because you are living a life, even if it is just surviving, the amount of hurt you can bear, the patience you hold with you speaks louder.
The very first thing I learned from Ahim is that human life is not a sin. He was living in rather more hurtful suffering. If things went bad, we had a gate out of this suffering, the death. Ahim had no gate to get out of his misery. Who remains there being unsung of, and protects those little things that could make human life a little bit more bearable. The moment Sita appeared in my room was no accident in Ahim's spells.
Sita and I had to meet Ashmit in such a state, that might have a reason too. I bet there were many other more people around us who needs those little sparks we created but we only had to deal with Ashmit. I had a very leisure talk with Ahim last week. We met in the absence of Sita.
As Ahim told us earlier, he was getting better than when we first met him on the Ajopavana's throne. That's when I realised what it took to lead a real renounced life. He talked about a few things with a view of helping me to be wary of the situation we were in. The soul we were calling a Weed was a doppelganger of an ancient Weed which once spread like a forest fire, killing so recklessly every single human being it crossed.
The issue we were facing was not something new but we were still unsure if it is alone or these weeds were joining hands with each other in that plan. So these Weeds were nothing but a massive misfortune. We had nothing to detect its presence unless something very nasty happened. A slight brush of a weed could spread like poison. Ahim shared his worries with me there, "Shame is what I feel right now. But I am bound to tell you in person that you should seek the help of the Ojas in the mountains of Ajahgiri."
"Within the Leucas Aspera, you find a cave up above your head. The Great Ojas is in meditation for years. Visit him once to shake off this misfortune you had to take by yourself."
The first thing that got to my mind was Sita. She had fought alongside me. So she had to accompany me without knowing the actual purpose. If she knew we had such consequences, she would worry to death. Then it hit me, she had to know this obviously. She was facing things with me, there was no reason to not tell her the actual intention. But I couldn't bring it up myself. Ahim told that it was not necessary to visit since there was an Ojas helping us already. But I was not convinced with that.
Until recently, I had no priorities, I remained unattached with everything. Now, I know what it feels like to have something important. The way it feels when you think about losing that something precious. The little things like her smile, the soft fragrance of hers that only I knew of, the little rusky touch in her tone when she talked, mattered to me one day all of a sudden and the thought of losing these meant the whole damn life. I knew she felt this two times more than I did and was guilty of that.
I sometimes used to wonder if Ahim had someone like that to him, whom he had spent his best and worst times with. Was he a human before he started living in the Ajopavana? He told us that the Ojasas were chosen, successors. That meant he was one of them too once. So did he live in that place without having felt these little pleasures?
"Do you perhaps talk privately with Ahim…in my absence?"
"We are not enough…at least, that's what I feel…", I was not answering her question. "We need to meet the Ojas in this cave."
I told her the whole conversation about the Weeds and the Misfortunes. That was quite a quiet response I got from her, "Hmmm!"
"Let's do this quickly, then.", she rushed up holding my hands dragging at her own pace.
When we were so close to the cave, the path seemed to be rougher. "Should I have used my prowess?", she sighed and then the last step, we were in the cave. Right in front of us was the Great Ojas gigantically sitting with his eyes closed so gently. A huge grumble appeared out of nowhere. It was the Ojas adjusting his posture. The ground was shaken a bit, I was holding on tightly to Sita's hands.
"What do we do now?", I was staring at him while Sita was questioning me. I scratched the back of my head and took a step towards the Ojas.
"A brush…"
"Huh?? Brush? Are we here to paint this Ojas?", that was the dumbest question she had ever asked.
"A touch of the Ojas. We need to touch him.", I pointed at the Ojas who was still rumbling over his posture. His eyes were still closed. It looked like a very obedient child trying to sit in a place for the longest time.