He thought I was joking.
Well, I was...Until I saw his horrified reaction yesterday.
Suddenly, a memory of all the women around him at Saint's flashed into my mind. I almost forgot about them and the daggering looks they threw at me when I entered the VIP room that day.
I mean, I get it. Hindi pa kami noong mga araw na iyon. I didn't even give an ounce of fuck when I arrived at the suggestive scene. Originally, all my fucks were invested in my goals. I only wanted Ainsworth's trust to further my father's case, but I never expected that I would ask for more: I never knew my heart would cling to him for another end, too.
Now that we're together, that memory made me feel drenched in toxicity. I can neither pinpoint each, nor organize my thoughts in a rational manner to identify that negative emotion I'm feeling right now. Like, look at this poor girl— once proud of playing with hearts, now she's terrified of suffering the same fate under her love... her first, at that.
Oh, Ainsworth...Maybe I'm just threatened that all we have right now is just temporary— that next time, I would just be one of the women linked to you in the past. It's terrifying. It's like someone had just set fire in my heart with the aim to destroy all of me... or... I don't know. My heart is just aching right now. I hate it.
"I don't like this," I sensed the coldness in Damon's tone as we sped off the boulevard. Kanina pa siya nananahimik at ngayon lang may lumabas sa kanyang bibig.
Earlier, I had redirected his attention by still following my itinerary. We just came from an art museum and now that the darkness was slowly overtaking the island once again, I have decided to continue my plan.
I purchased a new car when I first arrived in Cabello at iniwan ko ito sa resort bago naganap ang pang-aatake sa aming manor sa Andelmo. Nagpumilit ako na gagamitin ko ang aking sasakyan ngayong araw. Hindi siya umangal. At first, everything seemed fine until he heard the voice from my car's GPS directing me to a strip club.
Now that my boyfriend is seating on the passenger seat, I noticed how his gaze never left me ever since. Parang may gusto siyang sabihin o alamin pero tila naghahanap pa ng magandang tiyempo at kanina niya lang nailabas ang kakarampot sa mga iniisip niyang iyon.
"I want this," I noticed how bland my voice was. As I pulled the steering wheel down, we were now in an unfamiliar road.
Driving past the street lights that finally lit up our way to the forsaken place for man's fantasies—women and booze, he spoke again. "Is there something you want to talk about, Adora?"
"None at the moment. Baka ikaw, may gusto kang pag-usapan?" The sarcasm on my tone was on full blast, that guilt could not keep up at all.
He cleared his throat. From the side of my eye, I could see him already pinching the bridge of his nose. "May... problema ba tayo? Is there something I missed?"
Hindi ko siya pinansin at itinuon ko na lamang ang atensyon ko sa kalsada.
"Talk to me, Adora. Please, tell me... is something wrong?" he pleaded.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as the heat built up in my chest finally spilled out. I felt it spread down my arms, making me grip the wheel tighter as I felt my heart beat faster.
I... I don't know what's wrong with me.
"Baby, are we okay—"
"Yes, Ainsworth. Ang kulit mo!" Puno ng diin ang bawat bigkas ko ng mga salitang iyon bago ako nagpakawala ng naipong hangin sa dibdib.
I want him to just... shut up because I know how his words can affect me. Once I have made up my mind, no one is able to stop me. Pero ngayon, bakit parang gusto kong ihinto na lamang sasakyan muna? O ipaikot ito para makabalik na kami sa resort, kung saan hihintayin niya ulit akong magpanggap na tulog bago patakan ng halik?
"I'm sorry," I heard him sigh heavily after a while before he muttered a curse at himself.
Kinagat ko ang aking pang-ibabang labi at umiling ako bago pabilisan pa ang pagtakbo ng sasakyan. "Don't think too much about tonight. I've always been curious about these places so I'm taking this chance..."
The dim red lights of Sincetti's Cabaret matched the wild energy of the almost sober-looking people surrounding the dance floor.
"Boulevard des Rêves, please." Order ko sa bartender nang umupo ako sa stool ng bar sa second floor. Dumungaw ako mula sa itaas nang marinig ko ang biglang paghiyaw ng mga tao. Sa paglabas ng isang babaeng maganda ang hubog ng katawan, umawang ang labi ko sa nasaksihan.
The lady was wearing a black see-through lacey stripper outfit paired with lacey blindfold and black stilettos. She looked steaming hot as her wavy locks flowed with her sexy dance to the beat of the sensual music. Had I been closer, I would have definitely seen her intimate parts more clearly.
"Wow... do you see her? She's hot!" Komento ko bago humarap sa aking katabi na parang walang narinig.
Sipping on his poison, the glorified Don of Ainsworth's Mafia remained stiff as a brick while sitting on the bar stool, radiating a contrasting aura to the temporary happiness that people came for. With his legs wide open, arms leaning on the counter and red lights illuminating his darkening grey eyes, he threw me an ominous glare— a dead giveaway that his patience was thinning.
Hindi ko ininda ang titig niyang iyon at nagkibit-balikat lamang ako kahit na ramdam ko mula sa aking sikmura ang gumagapang na takot.
Nang humarap pa iyong dancer sa gawi namin ay mas lalo niya pang ginalingan ang paggiling sa pole na naroon sa platform na sinasayawan niya. My eyes widened as I saw her touch her body so intimately. It was as if she was feeling someone else's hands on her body! Lumakas ang hiyaw ng mga tao sa kanya habang tinatapunan ito ng pera.
That's so wild!
"Cosmopolitan? I did not ask for a ladies drink, sir." Reklamo ko nang bumungad sa harapan ko ang ibang inumin.
Tumingin ang bartender kay Damon. Pansin ko na nag-aalinlangan itong magsalita dahil sa katabi ko. My eyes darted to the emptied cocktail glass in front of my boyfriend. Sigurado akong para sa akin dapat iyon.
"You drank it?!"
"You have low alcohol tolerance," he paused and nodded towards the Cosmo. "Drink that instead."
The audacity!
I scoffed, raising my head towards the ceiling as I felt something in me that I wanted to let out badly. It was such an ugly feeling. "What? You immediately concluded that when we first met? That wasn't even the drunkest I've ever been! Isa pa, I only permit myself to go hard with drinks on several occasions. I know when to stop, Damon."
Pumikit siya nang mariin. "Wala ang lugar na ito sa pinag-usapan natin. I don't like this place, too—"
"Oh, you don't like it here? Bakit? Iyong mga nasa Saint's ba ang paborito mo?" I accused, my tone slowly swirling in definite bitterness and irritation. "Oh my! Don't tell me you're actually the controlling type! Is that the reason why the girl you chased for years did not return your feelings? Isa ba siya sa mga nakapalibot sa'yo noong araw na iyon?!"
Namilog ang kanyang mata. I watched as he turned the stool to face me. "What... are you talking about?"
"Oh, you know damn well what I'm talking about. Ikaw pa nga ang nagsabi noon sa akin, eh. That before me, there was someone else?" Nanuyo ang lalamunan ko sa kumawalang mga salita. I had no choice but to drink the cocktail he ordered. The perfect mixture delighted my tongue, cranberry and vodka making me calm my nerves for a moment. If only it could also wash down this ugly feeling from deep within me too, I'd appreciate it more.
Napa-iling na lamang siya. Umirap ako sa kawalan bago lumagok sa natitirang inumin.
"I never said—" Natigilan siya nang bigla akong tumayo at kinuha ang aking designer bag. "Fleur Adora," his authoritative tone finally came out.
"What, Dan Montavius?!" Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay at humalukipkip. I shifted my weight on one leg as I watched him clenching his jaw. Even under the dim lights, it's uncanny how attractive he still looks to me.
"Where are you going?"
"Comfort room. Naiihi ako, my goodness! Bakit, gusto mong sumama?"
Hindi siya umimik. Halata sa mukha niya na nahihirapan na siya sa inaasta ko.
I warned you, Ainsworth. Ginusto mo ito, eh. Panindigan mo.
"Aside from Boulevard des Rêves, I asked for a boyfriend, not a babysitter. Give me a break!" I remarked before making my way towards the powder room instead.
I bit my lip in frustration as guilt finally crept up my chest. I want to take everything I said back. I did not mean them, especially the last one. Hindi ko nga tiningnan ang magiging reaksyon niya sa mga salitang iyon dahil alam ko sa sarili ko na hindi ko gugustuhin ang marinig iyon mula sa kanya.
Nang makapasok ako sa silid ay sunod-sunod ang agos ng mga luha ko, kasabay ng mga munting hikbing kumawala mula sa aking bibig. Hindi ko pinansin ang ibang babae na napatingin na sa akin. I was too busy burning in regret to even think of saving myself from humiliation.
Ano ba itong ginagawa ko? I'm showing him my ugliest sides which are sure to offset the reasons he liked me in the first place! Ako ang takot na maging panandaliang kaligayahan niya, pero ako rin ang gumagawa ng rason para mangyari ang kinakatakutan kong iyon.
I am one hell of a stupid Montecarlos. That's the first in history, for sure!
Hindi ako umalis hanggang sa ako na lamang ang natira doon. Can I just not leave this place? I don't want to see him disappointed. I don't want to hear his words before he... lets me go.
I heaved a sigh after I've finally calmed down. Wiping away my tears, I ignored the deep pang in my chest. I still have to face him. I need to apologize, whatever he might say.
Hinila ko ang pinto para makalabas pagkatapos kong mag-retouch. As I was about to make my way back, nabigla ako nang may bumangga sa akin at agad akong napatili nang may maramdaman akong malamig na bumuhos sa aking katawan.
"My dress!" Nanlaki ang mata ko dahil sa namantsahan kong damit. Sinamaan ko ng tingin ang taong nasa harapan ko.
"I-I'm sorry, miss! I'm sorry! " Agap nung lalaking nakabangga sa akin pero parang may kakaiba sa kanya. Wala sa tono niya ang pagsisisi. It seemed off but I just dismissed it. Siguro'y lasing na ito.
"Ugh!" I hissed as I assessed my white dress. What a waste! It was from my favorite designer, even...and from a limited collection, too!
"Is there anything I can do? I know a laundry shop around this area—"
"Don't bother," I rolled my eyes as my hand made its way to grip on the strap of my handbag. Kung hindi lang mamahalin itong dala ko ngayon, I wouldn't think twice about hitting his face with it. No, I can't afford to have my Birkin bag in contact with just anyone's face!
"Are you sure? Can you get home like that—"
"I said it's okay. Just be careful next time!" I did not make an effort to mask my irritation. Goodness, can't this night get any worse?!
Akmang hahakbang na ulit sana ako nang bigla niya akong hinarangan muli. I tried to step aside to make room for him but the man did not move.
"Excuse me," I tried to move again but he just closed the gap between us. Nabigla ako sa ginawa niya. I raised my head to look at him. Biglang sumama ang pakiramdam ko dahil sa nakakakilabot niyang ngiti na mas lalong nananakot dahil sa pulang ilaw.
Shit, don't tell me...
"I said excuse me. Let me pass, damn it!" I tried to push him away with all my might but to no avail. He caught my wrists immediately and pushed me to the wall, the impact on my back and my head made me wince in pain.
Bigla akong nagtaka kung bakit parang walang nakakapansin sa ginawa niya. Nang iginala ko ang aking paningin, nakapalibot sa akin ang iba pang mga matatangkad na lalaking nanonood lamang. Sigurado akong mga kasamahan niya iyon!
"Help!" I tried to scream but my voice drowned with the music and the cheers of the crowd. I can't believe it! Sa laki ng lugar na ito, may nagaganap na krimen!
Pilit pa rin akong nagpumiglas. Paulit-ulit akong humingi ng tulong kahit na walang nakakarinig sa akin. Sa kabila ng pagkakahawak niya sa aking mga palapulsuhan, sinubukan ko siyang sipain pero ang isang tuhod niya ay nasa gitna ng aking mga hita at dahil sa lapit ng katawan niya sa akin, hindi ko siya matamaan.
Natigilan na lamang ako nang may telang tinakip sa aking ilong ang isa niyang kasamahan. At that moment, I knew my fate.
"Hush now, pretty lady. Let's take you to paradise, shall we?"
Nagising ako sa isang madilim na lugar. My body was crumped up in a small space and I was drenched in sweat. I could not even breathe properly! Bigla kong naalala ang nangyari bago ito at unti-unting nagharing muli ang takot sa aking katawan.
Sinubukan kong galawin ang aking kamay na naka-puwesto sa aking likuran. Nalaman kong mahigpit ang pagkakatali sa aking palapulsuhan at bukung-bukong. I could not even utter a word because my mouth was covered with something. I'm sure it's tape.
Nang may marinig akong mga boses mula sa labas ay pinikit ko ang aking mga mata at nagpanggap na natutulog.
"Are you sure that's her?" An unfamiliar voice spoke in French after I heard something click. I felt the cold air touch my skin, a clear sign that I have been kept in here for a long time.
"I told you, it's the daughter of that woman you courted back in college! I didn't expect to see her in Sincetti's!" I remember that voice! It's the guy who kidnapped me!
"Oh, a Lefebvre? She must be swimming in riches, then." Singit ng isang matinis na boses ng babae. Halata sa accent niya na hindi pa ito bihasa sa lenggwaheng sinasalita.
"Don't forget that she's a Montecarlos, too. That bitch, Viona, will surely be in shock when she finds out about this. We can milk millions out of the Montecarloses, possibly billions, even!" Tumawa nang malakas ang lalaki. Gusto ko nang buksan ang mga mata ko pero alam kong wala akong laban sa kanila, kung magkataon.
"Margaux's daughter..." Natahimik ang lahat nang magsalitang muli ang lalaking nakakakilala diumano sa mommy ko. "She...really looks like Margaux when she sleeps like this."
Tumindig ang balahibo ko nang maramdaman kong may humaplos sa aking pisngi. For a moment, my breathing stopped.
Get your filthy hands off me! Fuck!
"Really? I think she looks more like the young Viona, though... especially the way she spoke a while ago."
"You guys finally believe me now? Heck, you weren't joking when you talked about how gorgeous your first love was if her daughter alone is this... jaw-dropping! That Axel was one hell of a lucky man when he stole your woman. Too bad he's gone..."
"Wait, isn't that Margaux one of the victims from the recent plane crash that was supposedly bound to the Philippines?" Tanong noong babae.
Dinig ko ang pagpapakawala ng hangin mula sa isang tao. Biglang rumehistro sa aking pang-amoy ang usok ng sinisigurado kong isang sigarilyo. "Well, yeah—"
"Margaux is not dead," pagputol agad noong isa. "I'm looking for her, too. She isn't dead, I'm sure of that. Unless there's a body to prove it, she's still somewhere out there."
"It's been a year, though. Typically,—"
"I don't give a damn how long it takes. I'm willing to bring Margaux under my roof once I find her, even if it means having Axel's daughter with her in it, too."
Ikinuyom ko ang aking kamao sa galit. I will never acknowledge anyone else but Axel Montecarlos as my father! No one will ever replace him, even if this son of a bitch tries with my mother!
With that, I heard the crunch of stones against the pavement getting farther away and the sound the car door closing before its engine signaled that it finally drove away.
Sinarado na rin nila ang pintuan kung saan nila ako tinatago kaya nabuksan ko na rin sa wakas ang aking mga mata. I realized that I was kept in the trunk because the car's lights made my surroundings clearer now.
Habang nagpupumiglas para subukang paluwagin ang pagkakatali sa akin, nakikinig pa rin ako sa usapan nila.
"What if Margaux Lefebvre's really dead? What should we do with this girl?"
"Hush! Just follow Monsieur's orders. Are you sure no one was with mademoiselle when you took her? You guys didn't hurt her, did you?"
"Of course not! Hmm... I'm not sure if she was with someone, though."
Dinig ko ang tunog ng pananapak ng babae kaya napadaing ang lalaki sa sakit. Bahagyang umuga ang sasakyan dahil doon. "You imbecile! If that's the case, we need to hide her as soon as possible! Drive. I'm alerting Monsieur about this!"
Biglang humarurot ang sasakyan kaya mas lalo kong sinubukang paluwagan ang tali. Shit, where are they taking me now?!
Halos matapon ang katawan ko sa loob ng sasakyan nang marahas itong huminto. "Hey! Why did you stop?!"
"There's a man blocking our exit!" I heard honking noises as I tried to stealthily look for the trunk's door handle. Nakayuko lamang ako para hindi nila ako mahuli. Dahil tinted ang mga bintana ng sasakyan at madilim din sa labas, hindi ko makita ang hitsura ng lalaking tinutukoy nila. Also, because my wrists and ankles are tied, my movements were restricted and I had no choice but to feel or grope anything that might be familiar to a car door handle.
"We can't waste time! Run over him, if you need to—" Bigla akong natigilan nang marinig ko ang putok ng baril. Nang sumilip ako sa harap ay kita ko ang gulat sa mukha ng lalaki dahil sa kasamahan niyang hindi na gumagalaw.
"Char—" Another banging sound and the man was silenced. His lifeless body slumped in his car seat. From the rear view mirror, a clean bull's-eye in his forehead was the evidence of his immediate death.
Patuloy pa rin ako sa pagkapa ng mga nasa likuran ko. Ang pinagka-iba nga lang, ramdam ko na ang panginginig ng aking tuhod at kamay sa pagod at pagkataranta. Baka ako ang isusunod!
Nang maramdaman ko ang aking hinahanap, akmang hihilain ko na dapat ito nang biglang bumukas ang pinto.
My screams of horror were muffled out by the tape as I tried my best to move away from the door that swung open. Napapikit na lamang ako habang hinihintay ang hatol sa akin ng kamatayan. Sunod-sunod na rin ang pag-agos muli ng luha sa aking pisngi.
Halos lumakas pa ang paghihikbi ko nang maramdaman ko na ang isang kamay na nakahawak sa aking braso. Pauli-ulit akong umiling bilang pagmamakaawa.
Ayoko pang mamatay! Ayoko pa, please... Not now!
"Adora!"
Ang boses na iyon!
Dumilat ako at tumambad sa harapan ko si Damon. Naghahalong pag-aalala at galit ang kanyang mga namumulang mata habang pinapanood ang kalagayan ko. Dahan-dahan at maingat niyang tinanggal ang tape sa aking bibig. Pati na rin ang mga nakatali sa akin ay pinutol niya gamit ang isang folding knife.
"Da...mon..." Hindi ko pinansin ang pamimiyok ng boses ko. Agad ko siyang niyakap nang mahigpit at mas lalo pang napalakas ang paghagulgol ko. Naramdaman ko naman ang kamay niyang humihimas sa aking likuran para patahanin ako pero wala iyong nagawa kundi paiyakin ako lalo.
"I...I thought they were going to kill me... I—"I chocked in my own saliva while clinging into the back of his shirt ever so tightly. I did not care if my tears were making shirt damp in that area. I felt so relieved at his presence and timing. Kung wala siya, whatever could have happened to me in the hands of my mother's soon-to-be captor!
"I'm here, Adora...You're safe now..." He cursed to no end while uttering heartbreaking apologies.