When I looked in the rearview mirror I saw Adele again. The only difference from the last cab ride was how she wasn't on the trunk outside the vehicle. Rather, she was now seated on my lap faced towards me with her legs in the shape of a w around my waist. I couldn't see her face as she had her back to me, only the back of her head was visible. I couldn't determine what type of expression she had on. With so little information at hand, I felt extremely unsettled.
Is this the feeling of knowing you're doing something with a guilty conscience behind someone's back when you know they constantly have their eyes on you? I often feel like her appearance is only a reflection of my state of mind like it is right now, but there are other times that I feel doubtful of that; for example, back in the shower with Val where I felt her breath on my face.
I'd grown a bit more accustomed to Adele appearing like this after a full day of it, but I still really wished she'd just disappear. There were times where I felt scared out of my mind, but right now, I only felt unsettled by it which was actually worse. It was like a gradual unnerving build-up to something more horrible compared to when everything went wrong all at once. I'd much rather just get it over with quickly in one go than put up with it over a long stretch of time. The way it was drawn out like this was really the worst.
I averted my gaze and looked outside the window to distract myself. I noticed her side profile was slightly visible from the light reflected off the surface of the glass. Though I could only make out her body through the reflection on the glass. Her head and facial features were obscure and indistinct in the window. I had no way to know what she felt or thought right now.
Ironically, it really felt like she was the real ghost haunting me instead of that illogical VHS tape nonsense. Adele always weighed on the back of my mind and refused to leave me alone.
I still wanted to return to the hospital to check on her condition, but maybe, the farther away from her I was, the better. The internal terror I felt when I thought back to the scene yesterday was no joke. The image of myself when I pushed her over the edge of the balcony was on a loop in my head ever since then. Then there was also the contradictory footage Val showed me that didn't coincide with my memories. With so much uncertainty in everything around me, deep down I knew, I wanted to escape far away from it all.
If I thought about things rationally, there was no way for me to put the mismatched pieces of the puzzle together. No individual peace seemingly fit together perfectly. It was like a jigsaw puzzle with pieces that could potentially paint a picture when connected, but the connections were deformed ever so slightly and didn't fit together perfectly as a result. As a piece of the puzzle myself, it was a frustrating unsolvable mystery that likely couldn't be solved by looking at it from a single angle.
Maybe if I removed myself from the puzzle and looked at it as a third party or observer I'd better understand what really happened. Unfortunately, I really didn't have the luxury to do that as a party deeply entangled in this disorderly mess.
I'd been so deep in thought I never even noticed when we arrived at our destination and got out of the taxi. We'd even checked in and were at the boarding gate. When I turned around, I found Val with a displeased expression on her face.
"Oh? Now you're paying attention to me? You've been ignoring me all this time you know."
"I have?"
I don't remember hearing her call out to me even once during our trip. Did I sink so far into my own world that everything else became irrelevant?
"Yeah you have. Even when I kissed you, you weren't even fazed in the slightest. You just had this infuriatingly stupid, blank, zoned out, expressionless face the entire time."
I pointed at myself in utter disbelief and asked, "You kissed who? When!"
"Right in front of the taxi driver when he started to hit on me. It was immediately effective and he naturally backed off, but your reaction really ticked me off that time."
I'm not even going to question it. Gaps in my memories aren't even a surprise anymore.
"Sorry for spacing out like that."
"It's fine, I'm sure there's a lot on your mind that you're confused about. More and more pressure keeps getting piled on your back and bombs are casually being dropped left and right around you."
"Please don't say the word bombs. I really don't want any sort of foreshadowing, no matter how weak it may be, especially when we're about to board a plane."
"Hey Val... you said someone's out for my head, right?"
"Yeah, I did. You're asking about that now?"
"Yeah."
"What is it?"
"Wouldn't a plane hijacking be a perfect opportunity to make someone disappear and look like a random act of terrorism? It could easily be blamed on terrorists and no one would be the wiser that it was all an orchestrated assassination."
"That would be a rather interesting turn of events though, wouldn't it?"
"For you who can watch on the sidelines, maybe, but my life would be forfeit."
"They would have quite the gonads to do it while I'm around though."
"What are you talking about? They would surely have guns as well. What are you supposed to do to deter guns?"
"I wouldn't need to do a thing. They just wouldn't dare to."
"I really don't see where your confidence comes from. You're just another person who was once in a similar line of business right?"
"Well, you could say that. Just relax though, it'll be fine. Your imagination is just running wild and thinking of the worst possible scenarios."
"I hope so."
When we finally boarded the plane after they checked our documents, it didn't take long before we took off. On the way in, I got a good look at the pilot, he was a well-aged man with the appearance of a veteran who'd wracked up thousands of hours in flight. I felt slightly more reassured that no failures due to inexperience would crop up thanks to that.
When everyone was seated, an announcement was made over the intercom before liftoff. It was all standard procedure and thankfully nothing was out of place. Without looking, I immediately pulled the shutter down over the window at the side for obvious reasons. Imagine if I got sniped thanks to carelessly leaving the window open. Yeah right, who am I kidding? I just didn't want to see Adele anymore.