Knock. Knock. Knock.
I snapped out of it when I heard the knock at the front door. Did Val forget something? Actually, how did Val even get in here before? Was it during the time I had a lapse in memory? Either that or she secretly made a copy of my key at some point. That definitely wouldn't be impossible when I took into account the first time she snuck in. There were also more than enough opportunities to do so when I was in a coma for two weeks.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming."
When I opened the door, it was someone I didn't expect to see so soon. Well… in all honesty, I really should have seen it coming. Did I really just fall into this trap so easily? Have I lost my psycho ex senses? Do they no longer tingle when she's in this state?
"Mr. Genovese-"
I cut her off curtly, "Just call me Dio. I don't like being so formal unless it's business-related."
In reality, it actually just hurt being referred to so formally like we really were complete strangers. I loved her in the past, yet she completely forgot about our time together. How could I not feel anything from that? I knew it was contradictory that I also felt relieved she'd forgotten about me, but humans were known to be living contradictions. Despite knowing it was toxic, we only singled out the good times from our memories. At the end of the day, I was just another human in this world. If we'd be neighbors from now on, I'd rather not feel that way every time I ran into her.
"O-Okay."
"What is it? I've got things to do, I don't have all day to just stand around doing nothing. I'm busy." Please just go away. I don't want to feel the sensation of my heart being torn in two for long.
"I-i-it's just that I came to say thank you for helping me out so much before. That was all."
"You don't need to thank me. It's like religious folk say, help thy neighbor or something like that, right?"
She blushed a bit and retorted in slight embarrassment, ��It's love thy neighbor as thyself. At least get it right."
"I'm an atheist. You expect me to get it right?"
"I'm an atheist too, but even I can get that line correct… I think."
"If that was all, then bye."
Just as I tried to heartlessly close the door shut in her face, she called out, "Wait, hold on! There was one other thing as well!"
"One other thing?"
"Yes."
"Go on."
"I-is it true you and Val aren't lovers?"
I acted like I was unaware and responded, "She cleared up the misunderstanding with you? It's good if she did. That is correct, she is my boss at work. The scene you saw was a misunderstanding."
"A misunderstanding? How can that possibly be misunderstood?"
"It just was. I'm not obligated to explain any more than that. If that's all-"
She tugged on my sleeve to prevent me from leaving and called out desperately, "Wait!"
"What is it now?!"
I looked back with annoyance fully emphasized on my face. I really wasn't in a great mood right now to deal with this. There was too much stuff happening too quickly, and I wanted to take some time to think everything over. Yet, anytime I tried to do that, I found myself always interrupted. It was almost as if everything was planned beforehand to prevent me from thinking things over. There were always too many distractions around to divert my attention.
When I can't even be sure I have my head on properly, I don't have time to deal with your problems.
"I…"
I took a deep breath. I realized I was agitated and annoyed, but it still wasn't right to take it out on her. She was just as lost as I was; the only difference being, she was without her memories. I was plagued by a similar problem, but instead, it was gaps rather than everything like her.
"I'm sorry for raising my voice. I've just been going through a lot of things lately. I didn't mean to say it like that."
"I-it's okay. I'm sorry for coming at a bad time. Forget about what I was going to say. Bye."
Without thinking, I reflexively grabbed her hand from behind. She didn't struggle or resist, she simply stood there, her shoulders drooped down with her back to me.
"If you've got something to ask just ask. I won't get mad again."
"Darling, will you die with me?"
A whisper came from behind me, right beside my ear, but I was certain it definitely wasn't the question the Adele in front of me asked. It was the seductive whisper of the devilish psychotic Adele of old in my head.
My body tensed up a bit and my grip on her hand strengthened by a notch.
When I first grabbed her hand, I felt her tremble a bit, but when my grip intensified, I sensed that feeling of unease in her significantly dropped. I'm not trying to reassure you here, I'm actually the uneasy one now damn it. I demand a refund on self-reassurance. I need it more than you do!
"Dio, I don't know what to do."
"What do you mean?"
"Darling, I want us to die in each other's embrace and eternally be together forever and ever."
Again?
Please don't tell me it's a premonition that the old her has returned.
"I don't know what I really even came to say right now. I can't find the words."
"Then I'll just wait here with you until you find them." Because I'm too frozen in place from anxiousness to go anywhere else.
"Why are you suddenly showing kindness to me out of nowhere? It's throwing me off you jerk."
Jokes aside, what am I doing right now? Why am I just going with the flow again despite knowing I should cut all ties? No matter how many times I tell myself to do that, I keep making the same mistake. I'm not in a situation where I can think about these things. She's also not someone I should get any further involved with, for the both of us, it would be best to outright end it. Am I really going to repeat the mistake of getting closer to her only to be scarred later on when things go awry?
Is it just human nature to repeat the same toxic choices despite knowing better? Am I just a fool that doesn't learn?
"If you're not seeing anyone, would you go on a date with me?"
Ah, she actually went and asked. "A date...? Why?" Please enlighten this idiot as to why a date would be a good idea.
"I wanted to pay you back for helping me. I wouldn't feel right if I didn't."
"Is that really all there is to it? There's no deeper meaning? You're not hiding anything?" Are you sure you aren't secretly going to try and kill me? I really wanted to ask that question the most, but my better judgment told me to hold back.
"I'm not. There's no deeper meaning either"
You're not going to kill me? Is she a mind reader? I'm pretty sure I didn't say that last part out loud. Oh, right, she meant she's not hiding anything.
"Fine... but not today. Today's my first day back to work. Tomorrow would... be fine."
At first, I considered bailing on the date to get her to hate me and leave me alone. The only reason I accepted her offer was that I was curious about her so-called weird dreams. Were they related to why she approached me today? Did Val mention anything to her? There were all sorts of questions I had that would only be answered if I asked her directly.
"Then, tomorrow after work. In the evening. I'll meet you here... D-Dio." She averted her eyes to the side a bit when she stuttered out my nickname. She really was a different person. It was an action the Adele I knew had never done in the past. Back in university, she was the type who boldly called me Darling without a hint of shame or embarrassment. She always acted overly affectionate in public without a single care for how it looked to others.
"Okay. See you then."
I knew I'd probably regret this later on, but I still agreed.
When I let go of her hand, she returned to her room. I stood there blankly in uncertainty over what was to come.
I closed the door and dejectedly slumped down on the sofa in the living room while I spaced out. I watched videos online to pass the time until it was time for my shift. When my alarm went off, I got ready and made my way to work.