Kenna
''Kenna?'' A familiar voice greets me which causes me to turn and see Noah standing near me, both of his eyes looking directly onto my face as I do the same, surprised to see him looking much more different than when we last saw each other. His hair is neat yet messy at the same time but shorter than when we were together and even he looks much more built, happier and even more sophisticated.
''Noah, it's a surprise to see you.'' I reply as he starts to pull me in for a hug, making me hug him back for a short few seconds before we both pull away—his lips curving up into a smile, ''It's been awhile, what are you doing here?'' I ask, eyes wandering around to see if he's not actually alone but he is . . . standing in front of me all by himself.
He chuckles, ''You remember Matthew, don't you? He got into a car accident a couple of days ago and I was just visiting him,'' He replies.
''Matthew Kingston? The Matthew Kingston got into a car accident?'' My eyes widen in surprise before blinking a few times, trying to recall back the images of Matthew being one of Noah's closest friends and he was by far, very, talkative. He prefers motorcycles instead of cars and he has always been in love with his super bike.
''The one and only Matthew Kingston. Believe me, I was really surprised when I heard.'' He says, running his fingers through his dirty blonde hair. ''But, he's doing alright. He has a broken arm and a fractured rib—that's it, could've gotten worse if he rode his bike,'' He adds.
''Matthew Kingston hates driving cars. He despises cars!'' I exclaim, both of us laughing as we both continue to remember back how Matthew swore to never drive a car and would only stick to riding his bike. Then again, he also said that he would only be in a car when he's not the one driving.
Noah laughs, ''That was what I was thinking, too.''
We both continue to chuckle as we look at each other, realising the awkwardness creeping in before I begin to clear my throat—trying to break the sudden silence. ''It's been years, Kenna. Do you mind if I ask you out for lunch? I want to know what has been going on with you,'' He continues to speak, leaving me to smile.
''I'd like that,''
As soon as we've arrived at one of our past favourite restaurants, we take a seat near the window—one of our favourite seats, too. We used to come here when we were dating and it was by far the best place for us whenever we wanted something greasy, grilling and even cheesy. It was and still an unhealthy spot to eat but whenever we wanted to get that release, we would be here at the same spot, near the window and enjoying our cheesy hamburger.
He continues to look at me, ''How you've been?''
''Good . . . good, what about you? Still being adventurous and taking risks in your life or have you changed?'' I ask, leaving him to chuckle at my question as he leans back on his seat.
''I stopped being adventurous and taking risks in my life but I'm still thinking on going back that road because I miss that adrenaline rush. You get me, right? And, I'm just in the city for a little while . . . visiting Matthew and my mum,'' His eyes piercing directly into mine which causes me to frown, slightly confused.
''Just in the city for a little while? What does that supposed to mean?'' I raise an eyebrow. Noah has always lived in New York because he was born here and so was I. We met in New York, we got a job in New York and we were happy in New York—he has never said anything about anywhere else when we were together. Yes, he did say about travelling the world and that I was agreeing to it, but being in a different city for a long amount of time, with a different commitment, that was not in his mind.
He clears his throat, ''I got a job in Boston last year. So, I packed my bags and leave this city with a lot in my mind—I hesitated at first but I decided that it was best for me if I wanted to move on and I wanted to see progress in my life. Don't get me wrong, I loved my old job but there was just something missing in my life when you left,'' He replies.
I keep quiet, only listening to him. ''I needed a distraction, maybe or something more. I thought that I've seen enough of New York and I was getting tired of a few things here. I needed someplace new where I can try to meet someone new, too. That was when I got an offer in Boston, saying they needed my skills.'' He continues.
''Someplace new where you can try and meet someone new, too? Is that working out so far?'' I grin, teasing him as I realise that his cheeks has slightly redden from embarrassment.
''Well . . . there's this girl, her name's Hannah. She's hard to get,'' He replies.
''Hi, can I take your order?'' The waitress stands beside our table and we take our time to say what we want to eat as she writes it down before disappearing towards the counter, leaving Noah and I to continue our conversation—wanting to hear more about what each other after we decided to part ways or more likely, I decided.
''Ah, you and your adventurousness, always wanting risks in everything you do.'' I joke, leaning forward as I rest one elbow on the table before turning to look out the window, eyeing the busy street of New York.
''Just like how I wanted you,'' He says, causing me to turn and look at him; not expecting him to suddenly let those words escape his lips but he starts to lean forward as both of his hands resting on the table. ''I feel like we ended us without fully explaining things. There are more that I wanted to say to you but I didn't and I feel like I want to say them now, just to clear my head and ease my heart. That way . . . I can move on by leaving you behind,'' He adds.
''I mean . . . you were the best thing that has ever happened in my life. You were the perfect package, you know? It wasn't just your looks but it was you—how you talk, how you walk, how you stand and even by how you looked at me. It was perfect to me, you were perfect to me. I'm not trying to bring back what was in the past because both of us are already ahead in the future but I just want you to know that you were and always will play a huge role in my life.'' He continues to speak, silencing me.
''I'm sorry for hurting you, Noah. I'm sorry for what I did and I'm sorry for leaving you behind,'' I mutter under my breath but loud enough for him to hear.
''Well, it was your fault.'' We both laugh before he starts to grab onto my left hand, caressing the back of it. ''But, I don't blame you. We were in love and the next thing we know, it was just me being in love with you and I don't blame you for that because it must've been my fault. It must've been me, the whole reason why, you ended up having a change of heart. It must've been how I treated you or how I talked to you or how I responded, it must've been something that had triggered it to end,'' He adds.
''But, it was just me.'' I breathe.
''No, remember when we were planning to go to Italy? The same exact day, you didn't want to take the day off and you told me that you would be at the airport an hour or two before our flight and you wanted me to check us in. We planned that trip for weeks, we bought our plane tickets, we booked the penthouse, we searched for activities to do there but at the end of the day, you didn't show up.'' He looks at me, ''This may seem like it was your fault.''
''Because it was my fault. I called an hour late after our flight and I told you I couldn't make it because I had to cover up Ben's shift. You didn't get mad, you didn't yell or even explode, you were just . . . you were just silent. You were at the airport and I was busy at work when I knew that I was supposed to be there with you just like I promised but I wasn't and it was, really, really, my fault, Noah. There's no other way around it,'' I respond.
''You called and you apologised. How is that your fault?''
''I called and I apologised on the phone. When I got home, I didn't bother apologising to you and I just went straight to bed when I knew that you were in the other room, probably staring at the door and wait for me to knock and show up in front of you. I was a bitch, I was such a bitch, Noah and you know that. You have to agree to that,'' I continue. ''I cancelled our plans just like that as if it wasn't important when it was important. I ended up hurting you,''
He sighs deeply, ''You had your reason. Kenna, I knew the risks of being with a doctor but I took that risk anyway because when I first laid eyes on you, I was mesmerised by how you were. You were like an angel that fell out of heaven and you were absolutely breathtaking. Yes, you were always busy, you were always at work, you were always giving excuses, you were always cancelling our plans and you were rarely there for me but I knew you. I was ready for that, I was ready for anything that you would throw at me but I was being stupid for being upset,''
''You had the right to be upset for what I did,'' I frown.
''No, I should've just talked to you. I shouldn't have just stayed quiet the whole week because I was upset about our canceled trip to Italy. You were busy and I knew that when I committed myself to you,'' He says.
We both continue to look at each other, eyes pierced in one another without uttering anything before I begin to sigh, deeply as I lean back on my seat—my lips curving up into a smile, realising that Noah has always been perfect. He's everything that a girl can ask and I was too naive and probably too caught up in my own world to see that but then, he deserves someone more than me. Someone better.
''Hannah's a very lucky girl,'' I reply, breaking the silence.
He smiles, ''And Aidan is a very lucky man to have you,''
Things with Noah was great at first and we were doing things to make new memories but it was all cut short when all of a sudden, I had a change of heart. I had different feelings towards him and it was all my fault, I don't blame him because I blame myself even if he did blame himself for my sudden change but no . . . it was all on me.
That's why it shocks me to finally see and understand how things with Aidan has always been great from the very beginning and up till now. It has always been good. He has always been my one and only, has never crossed my mind to think of anyone else but him; he makes me truly happy, he makes me feel loved and he makes me being in love with him is a natural thing.
''What's his name?'' Noah asks, causing me to stare at him in confusion. ''Your boy,''
My lips curve up into a smile at the thought, ''Elijah. Elijah Gabriel Ashton,'' I reply, thinking back of when I was pregnant with him—with Aidan being passionate with me in everything he does, loving me in every way possible and how he has managed to give his full love towards us. It's a beautiful thing to witness, having Aidan as my best friend, my husband, the father of my child; it's funny how the world works.
''I saw him on TV. He's beautiful,'' He replies.
It doesn't take me long to let the memories flood my mind:
''You're doing great, Kenna! On the count of three, one, two, three. Push!'' Dr. Lin says as I use all of my energy to push the baby out, feeling myself growing weaker every moment as sweat continues to form on my forehead, dripping down onto both sides of my face. ''That's amazing, you're doing great. Keep it up,'' She adds.
My right hand gripping tightly onto Aidan's hand with him leaning closer towards my neck, whispering soothing words in my ear such as 'I love you' and 'I'm here' which is somehow calming me down slightly, making me nod my head a few times as I push once more, wanting to make sure that our baby is safely delivered.
''That's it, you're amazing.'' Aidan whispers in my ear as he kisses the side of my temple as soon as the sound of our baby crying is heard. I immediately feel Aidan leaning in to kiss me on the lips and up to the side of my face, with his hand gripping tightly onto mine—leaving me to close my eyes as I breathe out, finding myself crying as well.
''Congratulations, a healthy baby boy!'' Dr. Lin exclaims, happily.
Both Aidan and I turn to look at our boy, seeing him squirming as the nurses get ready to clean him off before wrapping him around in a warm towel, giving him to Aidan who seems to have his eyes in tears at the sight of our beautiful baby boy. My eyes continue to stare at him and our son, seeing tears flowing slowly down his cheeks.
''Look at him. Look at our baby,'' Aidan turns towards me as he slowly places our son on my chest with me holding him securely, letting Aidan run his finger lightly onto his small lips—seeing him opening his eyes, revealing a light blue eyes which matches mine which causes Aidan to chuckle as tears continue to stream down his cheeks. ''He's so beautiful,'' He breathes.
''He's ours. He's our boy,'' I cry out as he starts to kiss onto my forehead.
''Elijah,'' Both Aidan and I say in unison, the name we have decided on whether we would get a girl or a boy. There are a few other names for if we get a boy and there are also a few names for if we get a girl but it seems to me that we've come to like the name Elijah—even though Aidan disagreed at first because he thought it'd be best for our son to be named something else, something more unique but I find the name Elijah pleasing.
''Elijah Gabriel Ashton,'' I mutter.
Aidan turns to look at me, ''I love you, Kenna. I will always love you with all of my heart. There will never be a passing moment where my heart doesn't belongs to you. You and Elijah will always be my main priority—I will always love you both, no matter how and what. You two are what matters most to me. Forever,'' He says, his eyes red and teary.
''Thank you, thank you for bringing us a beautiful baby boy. You're amazing,'' He adds before kissing the side of my face.
--
Just back at the hospital, I find myself surrounded by paperworks and going through my patients' records, one by one to make sure that things don't go wrong once they come to me for an appointment. With my eyes fully focusing onto the piece of paper in front of me, I am fully unaware of the figure in front of me with the familiar smell of his cologne, causing me to look up at his face.
My lips curve up into an immediate smile at the sight of my husband and our baby boy in his arms as they both look down at me, their eyes twinkle at the sight of me just as mine twinkle at the sight of them.
''Busy?'' Aidan asks, before earning a kiss from me on his lips.
''Never too busy for you two,'' I turn to look at Elijah, ''Hello . . . how's my baby boy, huh? Did you have fun with daddy?'' I ask, grabbing onto his small hand, feeling his fingers wrap around my index finger; liking how he has his lips curved up into a smile as soon as he heard my voice.
''Let's go home,'' I add before cleaning up the papers and bring some of them with me after I grab onto bag, walking hand in hand with Aidan as he continues to hold onto Elijah with his right arm. We both keep on looking at our beautiful baby boy, we seem to be living in a fairy tale where our life ends up perfect and how it seems like we're never going to get enough of this no matter what.
To be honest, this is one of the things that I've dreamed of having, a perfect family of three or probably more in the future but for now, it feels like we're unstoppable. Walking hand in hand with my husband as he holds onto our child, it seems like I can check this off my list. We've done a lot of things together as a family of three, even when I was still pregnant with Elijah . . . we went grocery shopping and not to brag, but people were really looking at us. Some complimented on how we seem like the perfect couple and how our boy is by far a very beautiful baby boy with his dark blue eyes, they have seemed to change colours after a few weeks as he grew older.
''Why aren't the lights turned on?'' I ask, my eyes wandering around to see our apartment appears dark and not as usual—we have an automatic system where the lights would turn on by itself according to the time we've adjusted.
Aidan clears his throat, ''Must've been something wrong with the system. Nothing to worry about,'' He replies before quickly stepping out of the car and walk towards the back, opening the door to pick up Elijah who seems to be playing with his stuffed animal, rabbit named Cora.
Cora was a gift from my mum, Julia, she thought we were having a girl because at first, we thought we were having a girl, too but when she gave Elijah the stuffed animal, he seems to have liked it ever since; never wanting to throw it away, sometimes when he wants to sleep soundly or when he's crying at night, he seems to be calm when Cora is around.
I step out of the car to stand beside Aidan as we walk towards the front door, seeing him putting up a straight face which worries me, causing me to try and push the awful thought behind my head—knowing that Aidan probably had a bad day at work and trying his best to keep it all to himself, something he has always been doing ever since we were teenagers.
''Hey, are you alright?'' I ask, grabbing onto his forearm.
He turns to look at me for a few seconds, ''Why do you ask? Don't I look fine?'' His questions seem to have caught me off guard, letting me shake my head as I curve my lips up into a small smile, not wanting to start an argument when both of us are tired from work. He must've been much more tired because he had to pick up Elijah from Diana's apartment—she's taking care of our Elijah whenever we're working during the day even though we insisted on getting a proper nanny which would make us seem much more independent and responsible but she said that it's dangerous and would be best if she takes care of her own grandchild.
Diana took care of Ava, too when she was a baby but Alain insisted and persuaded on letting them get a nanny in order to make sure that they feel responsible for their own child. It took them a few tough weeks to ensure Diana until she finally gave in, agreeing to Harley and Alain on wanting to take care of their child, all by themselves.
As for Leo, Mia and Tony are currently working on their classes to make sure that when she has classes that day, he would be free for a little while to take care of Leo. Knowing Leo, he's not much of a clinger and would definitely prefer anyone; that's why Diana would sometimes want to take care of him, too. She feels like it's best for Leo that way.
''Shit, I forgot my phone in the car. You head inside,'' Aidan says.
''Let me have him,'' I gesture for him to hand over Elijah but he shakes his head, walking back towards the car before unlocking the car—causing me to step inside the house, my eyes blinking a few times as I try to adjust towards the darkness; letting me move my hand towards the switch, turning on the lights manually.
''Surprise!'' My eyes widen at the sight of my mother and the rest of Aidan's family standing in the middle, Mia holding a cake with candles lighted up. I stand frozen at my spot before my lips finally curve up into a wide grin, causing them to sing me a 'Happy Birthday' song. ''Happy birthday, Kenna!'' They exclaim.
Mum walks towards me before pulling me in for a hug, making my eyes water just as I feel her warmth surrounding me. ''Mum . . . you didn't have to do this,'' I mutter with a smile.
''It was their idea and I just played along. It's your birthday, sweetheart—of course we had to do this. We always try our best to surprise you every year and even though this year is slightly different with Elijah around and you being a mother, yourself . . . soon you would understand just how much sacrifice a mother would make for her child,'' She caresses the side of my face. ''You have made your father very proud, love. You have always made him proud,'' She adds.
A year after dad died, his lawyers put up a meeting to meet with mum, Aidan and I in order for them to settle something about an inheritance. It wouldn't be a surprise, knowing dad has always been able to keep secrets and would put others before himself. He seems to have put everything under mum's name and even mine but what surprises me most is that . . . he had put Aidan's name to take over the finance company a couple of months after I got married.
He knew.
He knew just how bad I would be at handling the company, even though I have my mother around to take care of things but she's only getting older and she would want some rest from the whole busy world she has lived in. Aidan, on the other hand, resisted at first but with my persuasion, he agreed on taking over the company as he merged with his own.
''Happy birthday, baby.'' My lips curve up at the sound of Aidan's voice, whispering near my ear as he holds a red box in front of me.
I immediately turn to find his lips meet mine, the softness as they move against mine under the same rhythm, letting me close my eyes as I wrap my arms around his neck while his hands move up near my neck, pulling me close. ''You're old, now.'' He adds.
''If I'm twenty-nine, you're twenty-nine. We're both old,'' I reply as soft chuckles escape my lips. ''I thought there was something wrong with you . . . you're never that quiet unless there's something on your mind and you were acting a little bit distant.'' I furrow my brows at the sight of his lips curving up into a smile before he pecks onto the side of my cheek.
''I was putting up an act. It must've been good to make you believe,'' He replies.
We both turn towards our family, enjoying the moment together as they all continue to start a different conversation—laughters filling the room with Julia and Diana making themselves busy with Elijah's presence, enjoying all the attention he's having while Ava and Leo are playing on the ground as they both let out soft giggles.
At times like this, I take a moment to look at the people around me and appreciate having them around. With Alain and Harley laughing as they both continue to tease each other, letting me smile to myself at the sight of Tony and Mia playing with Ava and Leo on the ground; their laughters never ending to show their happiness. As for Diana and Julia, they seem content at the sight of their grandchild, Elijah . . . with Marc making funny faces as they all laugh.
I turn around to look at the busy streets of New York City, letting the cold night air blow onto my face as I smile to myself—standing on the balcony with dad on my mind.
Just as I feel a pair of hands slide to wrap around my waist from behind before feeling him kissing the side of my neck, I place both of my hands on his. My heart eases as his warmth spreads all over my body as he stands close, feeling his body behind mine as we both continue to look down the streets.
Within seconds, I find myself facing him as both of his hands are resting on my hips, our faces inches apart; letting ourselves smile to one another. ''How did I get this lucky?'' He asks, his voice low and almost inaudible before he starts to glance down at my lips. ''I must've done something right to get myself a beautiful wife, huh?'' He chuckles.
''He must be very happy if he's here,'' I mutter.
One of his hand caresses the side of my face, ''Are you happy?''
''Of course. Why wouldn't I be? With you being here with me, with Elijah in our lives, I'm more than just happy. I'm grateful for everything that we have together,'' I reply with a small smile creeping up my face.
''Then, dad is probably smiling down at you. He has always cared about your happiness, Kenna because that was his main priority, to make sure that you and mum are both happy with everything in the world, to never see you cry or hurt. He loves you that much,'' He leans forward to kiss me on my forehead, causing me to close my eyes as the waves of sadness flows in me.
I place my hand on his shoulders, ''If he gets to see how you're a very good husband to me, he must be very proud to finally have a son like you. Even before we got married, he has always liked you that much.'' I chuckle as he continues to smile, raising an eyebrow at me teasingly.
''Have I ever wronged you, Kenna?'' He asks.
I furrow my brows, ''Never. From the very beginning, you've always been the perfect other half. You love me in every way possible. You're a great husband to me, a great dad to Elijah and you're everything great to us. Wait . . . except for when you pushed me off the swing,'' I joke at the end which causes him to reveal his perfectly straight teeth.
''That was one time. One time,'' He breathes. ''Believe it or not, if I didn't push you off that swing, we wouldn't be the best of friends. We would just be glancing at each other in class but we wouldn't be friends. We wouldn't be this close,'' He adds.
I cup onto his face as my eyes wander to appreciate his every beautiful features from his forehead, down to his eyebrows, light brown eyes, thick eyelashes, straight nose, perfectly structured cheekbones and full lips, there's no one else in the world that can ever make me as happy except for him and that's a true fact.
''I love you. I love you for the rest of my life,'' I breathe out.
''I love you, forever even when we're ghosts.'' He replies before leaning in to kiss me on my lips, moving softly as both of his arms wrap around my waist to secure me.