تجوع الحرة ولا تأكل بثدييها التخطيط نصف المعيشة
Planning is half of living
Rose
I blink slowly as I try to fight back from being consumed by the darkness before turning to look at Elia—seeing that he is currently trying to push the door open. My eyes remain focused on him without wanting to look anywhere else. I realise that we're still upside down; the car must have turned after the impact.
Elia coughs; one of his hand on the top, preventing his head from hitting down after unbuckling the seatbelt. He glances at my direction before crawling out of the car—taking out something from the car's dashboard on my side. I can't seem to make any sorts of movement due to the headache.
My heart starts to beat faster as soon as I hear gunshots. A few more before everything goes completely silence—leaving me in my own world of confusion. What's going on? I thought as I try to push the door open but as I feel pain occurring on my left wrist, I immediately pull my hand away, groaning in pain.
I turn to look right as soon as I hear someone pulling the door open harshly. Somehow, I let out a breath of relief when I see Elia laying on his stomach, trying to get me out of the car. He looks straight into my eyes—seeing that they are probably teary. I use both of my hands to support my body before he unbuckles my seatbelt but when I groan in pain, he immediately furrow his eyebrows at me.
''I'm getting you out of here.'' He mutters, near my ear before slowly pulling me out of the car.
As soon as I manage to slip out of the car, he holds me by the waist; waiting for me to stand properly. Once he sees that I'm all good, he slowly cup my face, checking for any head injuries. I start to feel his warmth radiating to my cheeks but I keep quiet, only looking into his eyes—completely enjoying how light they are right now.
He slowly let go of my face by holding my chin up, checking again. I clear my throat, catching his attention, ''I'm fine.'' I say, assuring him.
My eyes drift away towards the scene up front and my heart somehow stops beating immediately. Two dead men on the ground while two others are dead in the car—due to being shot. I look back at Elia and see that he's keeping his gun in his back pocket, not realising that I'm in a complete shock.
What the hell, I thought to myself. Should I even be hanging around with him?
I awkwardly stand near Elia's now—ruined—car as I watch his every movement. Why don't I feel like it's wrong to be around someone like him? I mean, for fuck's sake, my entire life was with criminals, what makes him any different? I shouldn't feel bad or anything, I'm obviously involved in this!
''Come on, we have to hurry before the police comes here.'' He says, glancing at my direction before pulling my arm. I see a few cuts at the side of his head but he doesn't seem bothered.
We walk towards the other direction—where we came from. I follow close as we walk past blocks, avoiding attention as much as possible; we use the back road. Both of us didn't even say a single word because we both had nothing to say, honestly.
After walking for like, fifteen minutes, we both enter a dark alley and I keep quiet, not wanting to ask what we're doing here. Once a in awhile, Elia would glance behind to see if I'm still keeping up. The deeper we go into the dark alley, I start seeing a few men hanging around with suits. Exactly, suits.
I can't help but eye each one of them and see that they are also looking at me. I'm used to this kind of attention—stares from men, so it doesn't bother me much yet, I still feel slightly uncomfortable. It makes me feel cheap.
Elia pushes one of the doors open, dragging me in by grabbing onto my waist—as once we're in, my eyes widen at my surroundings. Men. All men in suits; a few are just having fun while making out at the corner, while others are busy talking or handling their weapons. Most of the men looks up at me then at Elia before they stop talking.
I feel Elia letting go of my waist and I just stand still. He calls someone from behind and I come to realise that it is the man that I saw a few weeks ago—when Elia bought me. He was there too; with Elia, ''Is he in?'' I hear Elia ask and the man nods, as an answer.
Honestly, I start to think that I wasn't born to be safe. Just because I saw these crazily attractive men around me, with guns—I mean, yeah they're good-looking, I can't deny that but what they do for a living, it's insane. For instance, Elia. You get that vibe from him—yet you can never really figure out that he's a mafia unless you see his house and how many cars he owns.
I hear someone clearing their throat and I look up to see Elia waiting for me so I quickly make my way towards him as we walk into another hallway which is empty and quite dark—only a few lights vanishing the darkness, ''I know what you're thinking.'' He suddenly says.
''What do you mean?'' I respond.
He chuckles before pushing another door open, revealing a man who is currently busy kissing a woman on his desk. I immediately stop walking, earning another light chuckle from Elia. The man runs his hand on the woman's thighs before looking up and stopping by pecking on her neck. He whispers something into her ear and she smiles seductively at him before walking out of the room—while glancing at me.
The man fixes his suit as he clears his throat, ''You've been gone for a week, Elia.'' He says, pointing at the two chairs in front of his desk.
Elia gestures for me to sit down and I just do as told before he sits beside me, eyeing the man, ''You've been busy lately, Marc, I can see that.'' He replies, earning a chuckle from the man—I assume, Marc.
Then, I take a better look at Marc and see that he has the darkest shade of brown eyes with a little bit of green near his pupils. He turns to look at me as he lit up his cigarette, ''Nuova ragazza?'' He asks, Elia, but both of his eyes are still on me.
Elia smiles, showing his dimples, ''Ho bisogno del tuo aiuto.'' He replies.
I only manage to frown in confusion—what the hell are they talking about. Continuing to look at Marc, he places the cigarette in between his lips before inhaling, looking straight at Elia, ''So it's true then, you stole from your old gang. Very loyalty of you.'' He stops for awhile, exhaling the smoke, ''Let me guess, they asked you to do a simple fucking job and you did as told but they didn't pay and you go rebel.''
''I guess you're not that dumb then.''
Marc laughs, ''Asshole.'' He mutters, sitting on his seat while continuing to smoke, ''But I must say that you're fucking stupid for stealing from a fucking mafia. What were you thinking, man? You must've lost your mind.''
He lied when he said that he didn't know why he did it. I mean, he could have just told me that he stole the money because they didn't pay him—I guess it's too personal?
''What can I say? I'm a daredevil.'' He shrugs, eyeing Marc's every movement. From the side, I can't help but realise how defined his jawline is—are they even real though? He could kill some dudes with that jawline, damn, ''How did you find out about it, anyway?'' He asks.
''News travel fast, Dom. You're in luck that we've been friends for a long time or I wouldn't be here talking to you or feel sympathy for your stupid act. I would've just stab your brains out.'' He chuckles while Elia just smile at him—not saying a single word, ''So, what kind of help do you need?''
''Ucciderlo.'' Elia replies, his voice low and serious.
Marc looks straight at Elia, not quite certain of what he just heard. Well, that explains everything that I heard whenever he talks in Italian, I don't understand a single shit but I just keep quiet, thinking maybe I could understand but no, none.
He smirks, ''Fatto.''
Fat... to? I furrow my eyebrows.
Elia glances at my direction, the smile on his face continues to appear which makes me blush slightly—that somehow catches Marc's attention. He chuckles at Elia, ''You're never serious before.''
''I've never been with anyone before.'' Elia answers, standing up, ''Don't forget, ucciderlo.'' Then, Marc nods his head—before turning towards me, smiling, revealing his straight teeth. Elia notices that Marc is currently busy looking at me so he clears his throat, ''Not this time, man.''
Marc chuckles, ''You better fix your cut there,'' He says, sitting back on his seat while Elia and I leave the room—heading straight outside.
Once we're outside, I see Elia opening the door to an unknown car, making me look at my surroundings, ''Are you stealing?'' I ask, raising an eyebrow.
''No, get in.'' He points and I step inside—before him.
He starts the engine before driving down the road; making a turn. We both keep quiet on our way towards the destination—not that I know where. I continue to look out at the window, seeing a couple walking with smiles plastered on their faces. Sometimes, I wonder why I never get to live the normal life.
She seems happy as she wraps her hands around the guy's waist before he pecks on her temple. I look away, not wanting my jealousy to consume me. Even if I get a chance to live a normal life, nothing will be able to feel normal anymore.
As I look down at my wrist, I see the familiar scar that has always been there since I was little. All of a sudden, I feel memories rushing in my mind—making me close my eyes and remember how I got the scar. I hold onto my wrist; seeing a woman and a man's face as they smile down at me.
Within seconds, I see the woman crying as she tries to pull me away but the man slaps her—causing her to fall onto the ground; her tears are streaming down her cheeks, her eyes are burning red and her heart are clenching with pain. I continue to watch as she fails miserably so she just let me go.
I remember when the man stabs something into my wrist, making me scream in unbearable pain.
Opening my eyes, I immediately turn to look at my surroundings and I let out a breath of relief as soon as I see that Elia is still beside me—massaging his own temples. He must've not seen me reacted earlier which is good because if he did see me, he'll start asking questions.
My heart starts to beat fast; how did I even remember that? I have never remember any childhood memories but why now? Why all of a sudden?
''We're here.'' Elia says, interrupting my thoughts. I look out and see a high-rise building—a modernly beautiful one too, I must say.
He steps out of the car and I continue to control my own breathing; afraid if he might sense that something is wrong with me. I don't know what the hell is going wrong—but I never wanted to regain my memories, I never want them back. I don't want to know what happened when I was a kid nor why I end up with Gonzales.
I turn right in surprise as I see Elia knocking onto the window. I immediately step out, meeting a frowning Elia as he eyes my expression, ''Everything okay?'' He asks and I nod as an answer.
''What are we doing here?'' I ask, changing the subject before he starts asking more questions.
Elia ignores me by walking towards the entrance but I follow up with him. Once we're inside, I am greeted with the cold air touching my skin—making me breathe out in relief. I've been out and been walking by feet long enough with the hot weather so being somewhere cold at the moment is a relief.
As Elia and I wait in front of the elevators, I turn to see two women staring at me while they whisper something to each other. Looking down at my outfit, I see that it's a bit torn at the end and all dirty before glancing at them and see that they are wearing a designer's outfit—looking all rich and classy.
They chuckle, making me feel self-conscious about myself but I remain quiet, standing close to Elia. He looks down at me before looking at the two women—eyeing up and down at their outfits. They seem to realise that Elia has been eyeing them, they quickly regain their composure, smiling seductively at him.
I furrow my eyebrows while looking at Elia—his shirt has a few dirt stains but apart from that, he looks fine. I continue to look at him and see how his hair is in different directions but in a good messy way; which makes him look attractive in some sort of way—explains why the two women are staring at him like they could just eat his face right now.
Elia smiles back but I immediately stop moving all at once when I feel him wrapping his arms around my shoulder, making the two women look at me in envy—then all of a sudden, Elia lifts his middle finger using his right hand that is around my shoulder while continuing to smile at both of them. The two women gasps in surprise before walking towards the other direction, probably taking the stairs.
''Sluts.'' I hear Elia mutter under his breath.
Somehow, I want to smile but I remain calm.
Just in time, the elevator doors open and we both walk inside. Elia presses onto the button as we wait until we reach our floor—which is quite some time but fortunately, the elevator isn't stopping for anyone to enter. I can't seem to face any other human being at the moment.
The elevator doors open, revealing a luxurious and modern sight which causes me to look in awe. The whole room is white but designed with soft coloured furniture such as beige, light green and grey. My eyes wander around and I can't help but feel mesmerised by the beauty.
I step inside and I just watch as Elia stretches; his muscles flexes under his shirt. Oh lord, how perfect is he? First, he owns a mansion, he probably owns different types of luxury cars and now look at him, he owns a second home—condominium. I breathe out as I thought, I don't know whether I should consider myself lucky or not?
''Make yourself at home.'' He mutters, taking a glass and pouring water, ''You can use my room—clean yourself up, there's extra clothes in the closet. Use anything that makes you comfortable.'' Then, he drinks the water—eyeing my face.
I nod, walking straight towards the other side—heading towards his bedroom and I can't help but eye the bed; feeling the soft mattress. I've missed my beauty sleep, I thought as I furrow my eyebrows. Walking towards the walk-in closet, I turn on the lights and see that it is filled with Elia's clothes. Slowly, I pull out a drawer to find a few oversized shirts, well they are oversized for me but they'll fit perfectly for Elia.
This whole closet smells like him including the clothes which is crazy—it makes me go weak on my knees for no reason. I step out, placing the shirt and pants on the bed before turning around to undress myself. Once I'm standing in the middle of the room with only my underwear, I run the tips of my fingers on a visible cut near my elbow.
My wrist doesn't hurt much now which is good—it must've strained.
I hear the door closing from behind so I turn around to see if there's anyone—Elia but there's no sign of someone so I just ignore my thoughts and head straight towards the bathroom, to clean myself up.
Once I'm done showering, I step out of the bathroom feeling all fresh and clean; which cheers me up a little. I've always hated feeling dirty. For fuck's sake, I just got into a car accident but I'm perfectly fine and I didn't even go to the hospital—how insane can this day be?
I quickly put on the shirt that I picked with the pants before stepping out of the bedroom and walk down the hallway—seeing Elia standing near the glass window while smoking. I know how unhealthy smoking is and how unattractive it is but when it comes to Elia, he makes everything look fine and perfect.
He turns around, eyeing me. I notice him looking down at my body before exhaling the smoke and both of us just stay quiet, not uttering a single word. Then, he clears his throat, ''I'm going to take a shower.'' He says, walking past me, disappearing into his bedroom.
Crossing my arms as I stand near the glass window, seeing the view of the city from up here seems perfect. I have never gotten the chance to experience all of this—I was too busy caught up in darkness instead of actually enjoying life.
My eyebrows furrow in confusion as I hear the elevator doors open and I look straight at the glass window, seeing a woman wearing a tight black suit as she smirks at me. I immediately turn around but she runs towards me—holding tightly around my neck as she places a knife near my waist.
''Hush, baby girl.'' She whispers.