Rose
As soon as I wake up in the morning, I head out to get some fresh air and instead of finding myself going to spend time alone, I see Elis standing near the porch as he busies himself by watching the morning sky. From behind, I would've mistaken him as Elia.
''Good morning,'' I say and he immediately turn to look at me.
''Buon giorno,'' He replies.
''You know, I don't speak Italian. I've been confused the entire time I hear you or anyone else speak Italian. It just has got to stop,'' I joke and from the side, I see him smiling, revealing a dimple I've never come to notice much—but both of his eyes are still focused on something, not bothered to look at me.
''You're in love with an Italian man, yet you barely know Italian.'' He says, glancing at my direction for a few seconds; somehow leaving me to think. Am I in love with Elia or are we in the expression of being in love? I thought.
I remain shut and Elis seem to realise my sudden awkwardness because he starts to look down at me, turning his body sideways; making it easier for him to talk with me. With a sigh, I raise my head and look up at the sky—loving how they are blue and calming while the people on earth are too busy to appreciate nature, sometimes.
''Love is such a strong word,'' I mutter under my breath.
Elis chuckles and my eyes widen at the sound of his laughter. He has never really chuckled or laughed sincerely—honestly, he should laugh more often because it shows a better side of him. Even by his smile, he wouldn't look much of a moody or a difficult person to be with.
''It has always been strong, Rose. You can't fool around with love.'' He says, looking at me.
The way he speaks, it shows how he actually wants to be in love with someone but he hasn't found the right one hasn't gotten the chance to be with someone. I casually nudge onto his arm, trying to gain his attention, ''You seem awfully experienced,'' I say.
He furrow his eyebrows in confusion, ''I'm far from experienced.''
''Is that so?''
''I see it as something that should be taken seriously,'' He says, ''I don't think I'll be able to actually love someone unless I'm serious
''I see it as something that should be taken seriously,'' He says, ''I don't think I'll be able to actually love someone unless I'm serious. Like you said, love is such a strong word. I don't want to say love unless I really mean it with all my heart—that's not easy, I know so I don't find anyone that I'll be capable of loving.'' He adds.
For some reason, I don't find myself looking at the Elis I met a year ago. I'm looking at the Elis that I've never met before; probably the true Elis or the side of Elis that I've never seen. It's just the way he speaks and the way he reacts, it doesn't seem like the Elis I come to dislike.
''I see,'' I mutter under my breath.
Without me realising, I am busy staring at Elis from the side. I don't know what has gotten into me to react this way but just by the way he's slightly smiling right now, it attracts me in a way that I can't say. Seeing him react this way, he reminds me so much of Elia but in a more secretive way.
Maybe I'm just missing Elia but I can't stop staring.
To my surprise, he turns to look at me but I can't seem to find myself look away. Our eyes meet in a confusingly way but we stay still, only focusing into each other's eyes without any intention of looking away. I don't know what I see in his eyes but there has got to be something. Something that I can't reach.
His brown eyes are glancing down at my lips for a few seconds before I find him closing the distance between us but I can't seem to move away. All I feel at the moment is my heart beating at a fast pace. My lips are parted—somehow letting him approach me in a passionate way, which leads me to another type of confusion.
What the hell is going on with me?
Once we're close enough, I feel him brushing his nose against mine while I look down at his lips—counting the distance until our lips could meet in a kiss that we've never felt with each other. We still have a few inches in between but everything feels awkwardly close for some reason.
I stay still at my spot, afraid if I might end up meeting his lips if I move any further or take any step back
I stay still at my spot, afraid if I might end up meeting his lips if I move any further or take any step back. When I finally feel his lips brushing against mine in passionately slow way, I close my eyes, losing my own sanity—pull away or kiss back?
Our lips hasn't fully met, so I still have a second or two to think about the consequences of this. Elis seem to be awfully slow and I can't seem to think straight at the moment. Deep inside, I want to pull away and just act like nothing happened but I can't help but wanting to know what and how he would taste like.
Call me stupid. Call me insane.
We are interrupted by the sound of an engine roaring into life, causing Elis to open his eyes and look up at mine—somehow realising that he was going to kiss me. I open my eyes afterwards, looking directly into his brown ones. We are close to each other and we are currently staring at each other.
Within seconds, he pulls back and further the distance between us while I turn to look out, avoiding myself to face him. When I hear him exiting the porch, I immediately let a breath of relief before gripping hard onto the wooden railing, trying to get a hold of reality.
My eyes open wide as I turn to see Elliot getting out his car before looking around. Then, Fiore appears and starts to pull him close for a hug—which surprises Elliot. They both bond to increase the mother and son relationship while I immediately walk towards the stairs, trying to find some peace of mind from what just happened.
''What were you thinking, Rose? Obviously, you weren't thinking.'' I say to myself.
As I lean my head against the wall, I immediately let out a deep sigh, trying to calm myself down. If we did end up kissing each other, it could cause trouble for the both of our hearts. What if we end up falling for each other? What if Elia made it out alive? It would cause chaos. It would cause complications.
When I turn to the right, I see Elis walking towards the nearest window which causes me to back away immediately and continue to hide behind the wall—watching him from here. From behind, I see him sighing deeply before running his fingers through his hair, as if there's something going on in his head.
''Don't. Just don't,'' I hear him mutter under his breath.
Seconds before he could continue any further, I hear Elliot calling out for him, making him sigh once more as he disappears down the stairs—leaving me all by myself up here. I need to face him sooner or later and hiding won't make things any easy. We may have caused an awkward tension to appear but we can act like nothing happened.
''Abbiamo bisogno di parlare,'' I hear Elliot say from downstairs.
As I quickly walk down the stairs before turning towards the kitchen, I immediately surprised to see Fiore bumping into me—causing me to yelp and catch both Elis and Elliot's attention. My eyebrows furrow in disagreement as I let out a breath of frustration.
''I'm sorry, I was in a hurry.'' I say.
''To where, dear?''
I turn to see Elis looking at me in complete understanding while Elliot looks at me in confusion—not really knowing anything as he smiles and waves at me. I smile back at him but I avoid Elis's gaze as much as possible; trying to make sure that I am not reminded by our almost little incident.
''Everything okay there, Rose?'' Elliot asks, raising an eyebrow.
''Perfect,'' I reply before quickly disappearing into the kitchen and letting out a breath of relief once I find myself alone once more. As I turn around to look for something to do, I am left with a blankness—complete blank space.
Maybe I'm just confused. I miss Elia and I need him here with me but he started to disappear just when we finally try to understand each other in a way that we've never understood before. We were trying to get to know each other and we were trying to fix each other. Somehow. I think of it that way.
Why?
Why did we wanted to kiss? It's not just him. It's me. I blame myself for not pulling any sooner because if it weren't for Elliot's presence, none of us would pull away. Elis wouldn't pull away. I wouldn't pull away—we might end up kissing. We might end up dropping into a deeper trap.
There's a chance that he might just be caught up in lust but there's also a chance that he has slight feelings for me. That's on him. Then again, I had the chance to pull away, I had the opportunity to make him understand and see that I'm with Elia and I'm not as cheap as I may have made myself looked like earlier.
I breathe out, trying to remove all of the thoughts and just try to forget. It will all work out fine. I just need to know that Elia is fine and well, then, everything will be going on the way it should be. Nothing will hurt anyone and Elis would be like the way he used to be—the cold one.
Things like this tend to happen.
It's normal.
With a deeper sigh, I immediately push the door open and exit the kitchen through the back door. I walk towards the middle, not really glancing back or turning around—I'm not leaving, I'm just trying to think straight, being in the house would make it ten times more difficult.
I feel my phone vibrating which causes me to stop walking before taking it out and looking down at the screen, seeing an unknown number calling me; answer or not? I thought. It might be something important or it might be a trap but we can never so sure, not until we answer. I might cause danger to Fiore—if I answer but I might be left in my deepest thoughts if I don't.
I end up sliding right.
''Missed me?'' I hear from the other line.