Arriving at the dungeon was somewhat disappointing.
You know, I expected it to be some kind of cave with an eerie feeling around it, high-level guards staying watch outside, and people coming out of it in panic while being soaked in blood.
Oh, it was a cave alright. There were guards outside alright. There was however no eerie feeling! No panicking divers running out! No bloody people around!
How can this be a dungeon? It's just a fucking cave guarded by bored-looking guards! I swear if there are goblins on the first-floor I'm gonna….
Shit I just raised a flag, didn't I? Goddam.
After raging for a moment I decided that there would be no use to it so I walked up to the entrance. After showing the guards my Dungeon Divers ID I was finally going into the dungeon! Walking up to the cave entrance which seemed somehow warped and intangible. Taking a deep breath I took a small step for me but a large step for half-elf orcs.
The feeling of entering a Dungeon was strange. Like walking through a wall of water while not walking through a wall of water? Yeah I know, it sounds strange but that's exactly how it felt. I half expected to be covered in some kind of viscous liquid on the other side. But I was just standing on the other side. Exactly the same fucking way I was standing in front of the entrance before.
Looking around I found myself in what looked like a small cave. There was only one way to go and behind me was the entrance. I could somehow see outside but things looked kind of warped. Like you looked out from underwater. Shaking my head I decided to not think about it and just chalk it up to magic.
I pulled my spear from my back and walked down the only way there was. After walking for a minute I arrived at what looked like a bigger cavern with different paths to choose from.
In the cavern, there was only one thing. Standing there, looking at the thing, I was debating if I should just walk back out, or ram my head into the cave walls. Yeah, it was the first dungeon monster I ever laid eyes on. No, it wasn't a goblin.
It was a fucking slime. Of course, it's a fucking slime. How could I even think about goblins? Slimes. Fucking slimes. Half of me expected some kind of Ashton Kutcher wannabe to jump out screaming "You're punked"
Of course, that didn't happen. Instead, the slime attacked.
Have you ever seen a slime attack? Let me tell you, a slime attacking you is totally, irrevocably the most boring thing you ever experienced. It just fucking bounced. It bounced up and down. Each bounce brought it a centimeter closer.
This. This is fucking more of a letdown then Magikarp's splash attack! I demand a refund!
For the next minute, I just crouched down and drew circles on the cave floor, waiting for the Magikarp, sorry slime, to come closer. Well, at least it was a monster which wasn't hard to fight. Just stab the core and voila.
Once the Magikark, cough, Slime reached me I stabbed it with my mighty spear.
Do you know what's awkward? The slime core moving while I stabbed it. That's awkward! Are you freaking kidding me? I can't even one-shot a fucking slime? Maybe I'm not made to be a dungeon diver. Maybe I should just go back and sell potatoes.
I would love to say that I killed it with my second try, but the slime I was fighting must have been the floor boss. Each time I stabbed, the core moved. I think I even heard it giggle. It was a gurgling sound but it was totally laughing at me.
After an epic battle, which will totally go down in the annals of Adalas, I finally managed to defeat the final boss of the dungeon! Huffing and puffing air I held my spear like a hero of olden times and let out a winning war cry! Okay, I was vomiting because I had to move much more than I was used to but I digress.
After calming down it was time to get the loot! Such a hard enemy! The end boss of the dungeon even! It must at least give me a divine weapon or a holy armor right? With glittering eyes, I walked up to the defeated end boss.
There in the middle of a puddle of slowly disappearing slime my price was waiting. Looking down I saw a small bead. Looking at it I didn't know what to do. For a minute I looked down and I could swear I heard someone play Rick Astleys Never give you up.
Gritting my teeth I decided to ignore my own brain rickrolling myself and put the core of the low-level slime into my inventory.
After my first victory over one of the most vicious monsters known in this new world, I swore to myself to become unrivaled under the heavens. No longer would I be content with being at the bottom of the barrel! I will become a dragon among men! Nay! A dragon among half elf-orcs!
Taking a deep breath I steeled myself and chose the left path to continue. Walking down the dimly lit path I soon arrived in the next cavern with another end boss inside.
I'd love to tell you how this fight went different, but in the end, it was exactly the same. Even down to the slime snickering at me. I really want to know if it is just in my mind or if the snickering is real!
Fucking shit!
For the rest of the afternoon I hunted down one slime after the other. Once I finished, there definitely wouldn't be a slime leftover on this floor!
Praise me! The Bane of Slimes! The dragon among Half Elf-Orcs! Lord over life and slimes!
In the end, I managed to kill a massive amount of 5 slimes! Thanks to that I even received some news from my system.
I almost vomited blood, like in those cheap Xanxia and Wuxia novels, before deciding to call it a day and returning to the Inn.