Su Jianan stared at herself in the mirror. Her usually flat stomach was at this point bulging under the t-shirt as she turned from side to side observing herself. Finally she smiled happily and looked at the pregnancy report in front of her. Tonight she was going to present this surprise to Matt. She just knew that he would be over the moon over this news. She dreamed of the little one inside her that was as small as a sesame seed right now. Just as she was about to pull out the cushion that she had stuffed under the t shirt another idea struck her and she carefully picked up her phone and clicked a few pictures, of herself from different angles trying to get the baby bulge. She wondered how she soon she would look like this. She had hardly ever imagined that she would be able to have this feeling inside her. Of feeling a life grow inside her body. Quickly she printed a picture of herself and tucked it into the report before tying the whole thing with a ribbon. She wondered if she should take this there as she had planned earlier or present it to him when they were home. On one hand she could hardly wait while on the other, she wanted this moment to be special and private which would not be possible at the venue of the exhibition.
Finally she decided to wait for a few more hours. Glancing at the clock, she started to get ready for the exhibition. But even then her mind was only focused on her imagination. She wondered about taking a maternity leave from her dangerous line of work or even retiring completely or she could ask for a transfer and become a trainer. She had enjoyed training Shi Ai who was now her sister in law.. Maybe she could request for a transfer into administration department.. She wondered if she would have a baby boy or a baby girl. Would the boy have her eyes or Matt's. She made mental lists for all the things they would need to buy and the doctor's appointments, She wondered if she should call Matt's sister in law Alicia and ask her for guidance. The lady had five children under her care after all.. Jianan made herself happy one moment while the next moment she worried if she would be a good mom since she herself had never experienced motherly love. Would she be able to care for a baby and give it the love and care it deserved? What if she scarred the baby emotionally if she was unable to take care of the child?
But then she reminded herself that at least Matt was experienced with handling kids. She had seen him with Ryu and Alicia's five kids as well as the Neil's little one Bo Hai.. He would make a wonderful father she was sure. He would teach their child to paint and be creative and how to ride a bicycle. Everything she had yearned for when she was a kid. Sometimes everything felt like a dream to her. And she worried if she would wake up and find herself alone in some deserted area. She resisted the urge to pinch herself to make sure that she was not in a dream land and stared at herself in the mirror. Tonight...Just tonight...
Picking up the report, she placed it so that it would be on display when they returned. Of course she would have to make sure they were not distracted when they returned...And then carrying her beaded clutch, she walked out of the door and sat in the car that stood waiting for her.