Matt gathered Su Jianan back into his arms and stared straight into her eyes when she refused to answer. After a staring contest between the two parties, Su Jianan finally shook her head and smiled, "Let it be.. I guess it's just my biological clock talking. Since I am almost thirty and all."
Giving a big albeit false smile, Jianan pecked him on the lips and said, "Let's freshen up and then we can spend the rest of the long holiday."
Jianan waited for Matt to move aside but the man simply kept her trapped there before moving into kiss her deeply. Her arms wound themselves around his neck as she let go of the anxiety that had gripped her, relieved that he had let the topic go. But she should've known better..
"Nan nan. We have been friends for almost a decade and lovers for almost half of that. Why do you suddenly feel the need to lie to me?" were the first words he said to her after they had kissed.
Jianan sighed as she ran her fingers over his chest. "Precisely because of that. We have been lovers for almost five years. But we are not in love. We are not even in a relationship. The maximum that can be said for us is that we are friends with benefits. At least that is how I have imagined us. And now I have suddenly turned the tables, I don't want you to feel pressurized or marry me out of guilt. I don't think I will have anyone who can genuinely love me. You know most guys are scared to even approach me after they learn my occupation. You are the only one who dared to seduce me and be my first. I guess that is why I wanted us to marry.. But instead I have muddled this and now uhh!"
Hearing the truth brought a smile on Matt's face as he teased her, "Believe me, if I had known that you are a 'Negotiator', I too would have been intimidated!" Matt caressed the face of his lover and realized that it was the truth. Jianan had the face of an innocent wall flower whose way to pass the time was probably reading literature books... No one could guess that she was one of the best military strategists and disaster situations negotiator. She was the first person of contact in kidnapping and hijack situations.. The fact that she was sitting here in front of him with a pout on her face made her even more adorable and cute when he knew this was a woman who could bring him to his knees if and when she wished
But she had indeed told the truth, he was not in love with her. Oh he was not a jerk to sleep with any available woman but being an indoors person made it difficult for him to be with a woman when he did not leave his home for months on end. Jianan and him, they mutually understood each other and fulfilled each other's needs thus filling a void. And just like she could hear her biological clock ticking he too had recently felt the loneliness of his existence.. His brothers had all found love while he could only exist alone. It was different from living...
It wasn't a bad idea to marry your best friend. Jianan understood him and his moods better than any girlfriend could. As an artist there were times when he felt stifled and antagonistic. She understood that and gave him space when he needed it. They could make this marriage work and maybe someday they would fall in love.
No, Matt corrected himself. He already loved Su Jianan and cared for her. It was just that like his brothers he had never felt that feeling of falling. And maybe he never will...The future was never a surety.. So why wait for something that may or may not happen?
Jianan had been observing every expression that flirted across the man's face and knew when he had reached a conclusion...Her heartbeat started to rise as she waited for him to tell her. She felt as if her heart would burst out of her chest any moment. She knew that this time he had not caught onto her lie. She felt guilty for lying but she believed that she could give him the happiness he deserved...and in that time she would also gain precious memories. If, there ever came a day that he fell in love with someone, she would bow out of the marriage. But until then she would be selfish and stay married with the man she loved....
Yes, she loved Matt Long. She had loved him for a while now and she also knew that he only viewed her as a good friend.. But she could not let go of this opportunity to have him.. maybe someday...no she refused to have such expectations which would lead to resentment in the future..
Finally, Matt held her face and looking onto her eyes said,"Jianan, I would be honored to be called your husband. Let's get married..."
A hundred mega watt smile graced her face even as her eyes wanted to water and she hugged the man hard burying her face in the crook of his neck all the while whispering, "Thank you."
Matt hugged her back with a small smile on his face and something in his heart just clicked right. As if a piece of puzzle had just been put in it's place. For the first time he wondered that maybe he could fall for Jianan..he had just not been trying to find love hard enough.
Happiness bloomed in his heart at the thought of their future together and his arms tightened around her holding her like the treasure she was.
The two people moved away only after a while and soon their happy moment turned to more pleasurable activities for which Matt carried Jianan to the bedroom.. Giggling, Jianan hit him on the arm for being so lascivious to which the man ironically replied that they needed to make love as an engaged couple to commemorate their engagement...
A long while later, the two people came up for air as they began to discuss when to get married....