"There's a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heavens:
A time to be born and a time to die,
A time to plant and a time to uproot,
A time to kill and a time to heal,
A time to tear down and a time to build.
A time to weep and a time to laugh,
A time to mourn and a time to dance,
A time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
A time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
A time to search and a time to give up,
A time to keep and a time to throw away,
A time to tear and a time to mend,
A time to be silent and a time to speak,
A time to love and a time to hate,
A time for war and a time for peace.
I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
I heard the preacher read the verses from the book of Ecclesiastes. He exhorted a little then prayed towards heaven. After a few minutes, they laid down the coffin. My mother's coffin. I can hear her friends and close relatives' mournful cry. But here I am, standing among the crowds, wearing a black dress with my thick and black sunglass to cover my eyes.
No more tears, my eyes dried out I guess but behind my dark sunglass were obviously protruded red eyes. My mom was confined in the hospital for five days before she totally left the world for good. I had a hard time accepting the fact. But now, as I watch the coffin being laid down to the ground, I don't have a choice but to face the reality that she's gone and that would be forever.
After she was buried, her friends and relatives left the site one after another once they offer their heartfelt comfort. Everyone went home but I am still standing in front of my mother's grave, ALONE. I don't think I have the strength to walk back home knowing that the person who is always greeting me with a smile is gone. Forever gone.
I sat on the grass in front of my mother's grave. Then a sudden flashbacks continue to play in my mind. It's my memory of my mother. We were so happy back then. She was the one who taught me to appreciate life and be grateful in everything. That in good times and in bad times, I must thank God for waking me up every day. She kept on saying that there is a reason, a purpose as to why God chose to wake me up every single day and I must find out my own purpose.
It was my mom who always encourage me that I am not an accident even if I wasn't able to meet my father. I never met him. Yes, I don't know who my father is. My mom raised me alone and I am very proud of her, for always being strong.
Who knows you were destined for greatness? My mom kept on repeating that phrase to me whenever I encountered challenges, whether at work or on my personal life. That phrase alone kept me going.
It's already night fall when I decided to rise up. I had been sitting beside my mom's grave for more than three hours. It's time to go home. But before I totally left the cemetery, I looked at her grave for the last time.
Ruth Wilshire. Died on January 1, 2018.
It was the worst new year ever for me. While others were celebrating with their love ones, here I am mourning for my mother who died due to leukemia. Now I am considered as an orphan. But I shrugged that thought. I have promised my mom that I will continue living my life. I promised her that from now on, I will continue to chase my dream. The dream to travel the world! The whole world! And I will tell the world the wonders of my journey through my blog.
Yes. I am a blogger. I love to feature all the beautiful places that I had visited before and I was able to gain thousands of subscribers who was patiently waiting for my updates. However, I stopped travelling when my mom was diagnosed with leukemia. I love her so much and I wanted to stay beside her while she's still alive.
"Mom…" I felt one last tear trickled from my eyes.