How would you react if you woke up in the morning to the sight of a Bear's snarling mug? Right, you'd grab for your weapon, scream at the top of your lungs and fight for your life. Well, I had no weapon, I gave a weak girly scream, but I did jump right up into a nearby tree. And, to be honest, I shit myself. I recalled the "simulation of all physiological processes" and cursed so hard that I'd put all the ruffians to shame. When I thought I was high enough, I looked at the bear. This time my cursing would make veteran sailors blush. Yeah, the bear turned out to be real. But the state he was in requires elaboration. His gut was torn open, and his intestines dragged along. His fur was covered entirely in dried blood, his tongue hung out, the back off his head was missing and in there nested the Baron's head, soundlessly laughing it's missing ass off. I didn't see any spider legs, so I shuddered at the thought that they all hid inside the poor bear's skull. What a fucking comedian! Overwhelmed by fury and shame, I went back to the stream and started cleaning up myself and washing my only pair of pants. When all of my crap trailed away downstream, I put my clothes back on. I wasn't going to take my revenge just yet, the dead bear and I reside in different weight categories. But I made several notes to self for future reference.
I figured that my spear spent enough time in running water and that it was time to dry it. But as soon as I pulled it out of the stream I got a message:
You have spoiled The Stream of Silence with the blood of three sentient's, two of which have perished. The Guardian of Secrets has been awakened. Defeat the Guardian to attain reward.
Guardian of Secrets.
Lvl 176.
HP 100 000.
I swear if it weren't for FreakHead's morning joke, I'd shit myself all over again. The Guardian resembled a twenty-foot tall knight with a complete set of armor. But the armor itself was made up of the bodies of sentients. Humans, elves, orcs, dwarves.. all fused together with their libs sticking out here and there. The thing was armed with a huge great-sword just a little shorter than itself. The next instant, I jump right on top of the bear, kick him in the sides, and ride off in the opposite direction away from the Boss. I hear the trees begin to crash aside before my pursuer.
Later on, I'll reflect upon my escape riding a dead bear through a wild forest with laughter and nostalgia. But at that moment, I was compelled to focus on the LATER part. Slowly but surely, the Creature was falling behind. I see a trail clearing out in front of me, but all of a sudden straight out of nowhere my bear incinerated and was reduced to cinder right beneath me. I hit the ground face first and keep rolling down the path, the barons head following my lead. I landed at the feet of some guy in a red robe.
Zacharia the Fiery.
Lvl 119.
HP 5000.
I find myself making trouble faster than dealing with it.
'Hi! Who might you be?'
'Me?'
I faked a scared stare over the Mage's left shoulder. He quickly turned around afraid of any possible trick I was playing but quickly regathered himself.
'I am a Mage of the 8th Phoenix circle! Zacharia the Fiery!'
'Nice to meet you!' I lifted my fake deadhead and dangled him by the braid. 'This is Yorick! Why in the hell did you kill Winnie?'
'Winnie? That Zombie-Bear?
'Nobody's perfect! I mean, you've got that stupid ear-ring, and I didn't burn you down to a pile of ash! Winney was my favorite Teddy!
'Burn me? Because of my ear-ring?' The Mage reached for his right ear groping for reassurance.
'I demand Justice! And the rights to your wife and children, because they do NOT deserve to live alongside such an unholy freak-of-society! Am I right, Yorick!?
The Mage's body started to glow, and moments later, he was engulfed in fire as if he was standing in the middle of a giant candle flame.
'Oh! Did I hurt your feelings? Good! In fact, pardon my manners, allow me to introduce myself: Boyscout Cookie'
'Boyscout Cookie?' - By now Zach was completely confused, his eyes growing wider and wider in bewilderment.
'And last but not least: The Boyscout' i gestured towards a pair of turned over trees and the Mage saw the Guardian, who's label now proclaimed "Boyscout" for all to see.
'Well, see ya, Mage! I've got things to do! And you've got to prove to the world that you're not just a queer, but a bonified genuine Battle-Faggot!
I snatched my spear, and ran off down the road away from a firefight, literally...