Chapter One
Feeling Important
There is no better feeling than that of importance. It is a feeling most search their entire life's for, even if it is for a single glittering moment then fades like a distant light. Many have killed and maimed, enslaved and plotted to grasp it. Yet, such glory can be found in many small and dirty places. A secret only those who have risen from the ash of such places as Harlem and Compton know, and one that many a rich man would kill to possess. It is a glorious feeling.
Briar Gantz knew that feeling, and boy did she know it well. At the virile age of nineteen, she had accomplished what most girls of her generation could only dream of. Yet it was such a petty dream, one of glamor and fame. She had a good enough job waiting tables at a small coffee shop, and a small apartment. This was not the part of the dream, for she imagined not a lot of girls dreamed of living in a building where if your neighbors decided to enjoy some "alone time" parts of your ceiling or wall would pour to the floor. Where children cried and screamed at each other for toys and games they could not afford, and where many times at night an argument between a husband and wife would need the assistance of the cops. No, where she had snagged the dream was in who she shared that tiny apartment with.
Adam Leve was a hot and talented musician. A rock star to be exact. Well, technically not yet, but he kept assuring her that soon his name would be up in lights. When she had been sixteen, the smooth talking boy had swept Briar off her feet. Falling head over heels for him she had followed him about like a lost puppy. Yet, after an accident claimed the lives of both her mother and brother and sent her elderly father into a coma in which he died months later, Briar left her school and took off with Adam to the big city. With some money from an older brother who owned a strip club in the same city Adam had gotten the apartment and started a new band. Working on a part time basis at some local garage he earned just enough to pay some bills and feed his need to be a rock star. That left rent and everything else up to Briar. For almost four years they had lived this way. The reigning king and queen of grunge and poverty.
That was how; after sixteen hours of waiting tables at the Round Clock coffee house, she was sitting in the stingy and threadbare seats of the Enchantress. The club was not much to look at, windows covered in posters from bands no one had ever heard of or ever would. Tiled floors were stained and faded as thousands of shoes tracked god only knew what into the small room. Banging her head slightly to the notes tossed about the room, she sat with her back to the stage where Adam and his band Seventh Terrace were bouncing around the wooden platform. Bellowing their newest single into the microphone, they tried desperately to entertain the few people paying them any mind in the club.
"Death is a woman in six inch heels.
Gonna get the job done no matter who she kills.
Black lace and pale white skin.
Kiss of sex and red hot sin."
Mouth as close as possible to the microphone, he grabbed the stand as his drummer Dante smashed his way through yet another pair of drums. Next to him Grunge the guitarist tore his fingers over the strings of the double necked base painted with Satan on the side. Dante slammed down on the symbols once more, sending a loud earsplitting ring through the speaker next to him. The small and crowded club did nothing to maintain the reverberation of the song, the acoustics lacking in a place made from cheap plywood and concrete. This was a fact Adam often lamented.
She sat at one of the tables, the green tabletop was scratched and dented from years of heavy abuse and mistreatment. Boredom taking her attention from her boyfriend making a complete jack ass of himself on stage, she absently traced her fingers over a set of names carved into the table. Knees tucked slightly under the chair to avoid any gum or....other more nasty things people had set under the table, Briar kept tracing the long forgotten names on the once shiny tabletop. She sighed.
A queen of this type of scene since she was old enough to drive; Briar had grown, as most nobles before her, bored of her power. She had long ago lost all the love and feeling for the glitter and smoke. Where she had once seen fame and glitter, she now saw desperation and heavy drugs. What once was the smell of fresh opportunity, hope, and money had now morphed into the tart and distinct odor of cigarettes, cheap swill they hawked as booze, and what she hoped was stale urine. Around her sat her few friends. Most of them had boyfriends, or girlfriends, in a band. As such they had formed their own little "Band Wives Club". It seemed appropriate really. Together they chatted loudly over the club noise about their days and complained about their significant others. A few of them drank and would continue to drink late into the night. Briar knew that feeling. If she had to be dragged to another never-ending after party she would need a stiff drink herself. Maybe two.
When the subject of Adam once more breached the smoke filled air of the club, she excused herself and walked into the bathroom. At least what the small boon dock club called a bathroom. Only four stalls sat in the cockroach infested room, the last one in the row having no door. Someone had probably long ago kicked it off. Stalls that may have once been the cool gray steel were now multicolored homage's to any jerk off with a sharpie, an opinion and a lot of free time in the can.
Splashing her hands under the tap for a second, Briar tried to think of something new to say to those girls at her table It was always the same old thing every time they met. Having wet her hands, she now dried them on her black skirt. Checking her makeup and clothes, she once more began to pick over her looks.
She was not thin, by any means was she not thin. God had given her a pair of hips and a set of moderate boobs, and they were something she never wanted to loose. Sometimes she thought she could spare to lose a bit of the roundness that stuck out from her stomach, but on nights like these she could not care less about the heaviness of her abdomen. Bright green eyes stared back at her from the glittering eyeliner she had smeared around them. Blowing a stray hair from her face, Briar ran one hand through her hair. Not a single dark red hair was out of place, or at least out of the wild mane it was in on purpose. She had once been blond, a color her hair had not seen in years. Now it was a punk like red, mixed with an almost black color to pop out her green eyes. She hated it now and wanted to strip the hard to take care of color from her hair for good. "Red!" she huffed. "I do not know how natural red-heads do it. This stuff is way hard to manage." Her lips smeared with just enough lip gloss to make sure they shined, she looked on top of the world.
"Well, as much as a cockroach like me can be on top of it." she muttered to herself as she pulled away from the mirror. She returned to the pounding room, and slid back into her chair. Silence met her, and from the look on the others faces, they were still waiting for an answer to the question they had posed to her before she left. Having left the question hanging, Briar had peaked their interest, and she was not going to be able to leave until she answered them.
"How's life wit cha boi toy?" a blond with curly hair named Amy giggled. Her girlfriend was the lead guitarist in the band following Adam's. Cheyne Stokes were a pretty decent heavy metal band and Briar hoped one day that a label would pick them up. They all really deserved some recognition for their talents.
"Fine." she lied, putting on her best smile to hide the fact that things were never fine with Adam. The moody and pre-madonna singer spent more time partying with the band and trying to make it big than he did at their home. So many nights he got in a seven am, only to pass out on the couch. As she had the only full time job between the two of them Briar was often working or alone most days, and thrust into one sleepless party after another most nights.
Briar went to open her mouth, only to be saved by the voice of the man in question coming from the stage. Taking Adam's enthusiastic "Goodnight!" as her chance to escape, she waved off the question.
"That's my cue girls. You ladies have a good night." with a wink she got up, finally glad to be out of the chair that constantly hurt her ass. The cushions had seen so many rears by the time hers had found it there was almost nothing between her and the wood of the chair's frame. Heels clicking, she strode to the makeshift stage where Grunge was putting his beloved base away. Carefully he placed the guitar into is velvet case, taking care not to mess up the finish he so lovingly coated it in. Without even looking at her, he pointed towards the small dark hall next to the stage. He did not speak a word to her and this came as no surprise. Long ago she learned that most of Adam's friends did not care for her, and at best they just ignored or avoided her. Grunge was no exception. Thanking him anyways, Briar moved down the hall towards the pit where the bands that played the club could prepare and cool off.
Coming toward her from the end of the wall was a group of rowdy girls. Briar smiled and warmly greeted them as they came near. "Have a great set guys!"
All of them smiled and thanked her as they shoved each other playfully through the back door of the stage.
Arriving at the pit, she made her way through the crudely made door. It was only a cheap curtain stapled to a cracked and splintered door frame. Once on the other side, something grabbed her from the darkness.
Adam reached out from the darkness of a corner and wrapped his arms about her waist. Hauling her up slightly, he spun her about. Laughing like some sort of child he spun her about a bit more before setting her down. Before a word could come from her mouth, her started kissing her. For a moment she let the passion flow; wrapping her arms about his neck. Laughing Adam hauled her up once more. Again he spun her about a bit, Briar letting out a playful yelp.
"What a great show! Best one yet! Ready to party?" Adam grinned kissing her again. She rolled her eyes at the baby of a man before her. Adjusting the top he had messed up, she smiled at him. With short brown hair in spikes, the tips died green, and more piercings than she could count, he looked every part the part of the rocker he played.
"I thought we could stay in tonight babe." Briar smiled wearily. She desperately needed some sleep. Tomorrow she had a morning shift and god knows the old bastard that ran the place would give her overtime hours but no pay for them. She was in no mood to party. Suddenly Briar heard his voice grow hard.
"I worked hard for this Bri. We are going to this bash, cuz there are going to be agents there. I need to get my face out there! What the fuck don't you understand about that? After a gig like that, I have to go to the after party! Now are you going to join me and act like a proper girlfriend, or do I have to go by myself and be embarrassed when someone asks where the fuck you are?" he hissed. The cute boy demeanor dropping, and the angry asshole that was beginning to show more and more taking its place. Briar nodded, hating when he got into one of these moods. She had learned it was just best to let him have his way when he threw one of these hissy fits. Nothing she said would be even remotely considered when he was like this.
Adam smiled, once again slipping into the role of a charming man. "Good. Let's get going."
Briar loved parties. The thumping music, beer and moving bodies created a melody which spoke to her inner most being. That and the dancing. Briar loved to dance, and she was pretty good at it. Her heart beat loudly in her ears and she could not help but lose herself in the movements around her. All of it made her feel so alive. Somewhere amongst the crowd, she had lost Adam. That might be one of the reasons she was feeling so good. Not that she really cared anymore, the man was a possessive jerk. She knew she should break it off with him, god how she knew that. Over the years she had grown tired of the selfish rockers attitude and the relationship had grown stale. Not that she would probably ever break it off with him. It was complicated, real complicated. He was the only thing she really knew anymore. Hips rocking and swaying to the music, she forgot everything. Nothing moved her but the song. No worries. No problems. No Adam. Briar even forgot how tired she was. Nirvana was hers.
That was, until a sight from the corner of her eye pushed her from the mountain that she had set herself on as her body moved. As she turned, hips gyrating to the techno beat that poured from the DJ's oversized speakers, she saw something that made her stop dead in her tracks. There, leaning his thin frame against the wall stood Adam. Attached to him at the hip and the mouth was a strange black haired woman. She was furiously kissing him, running her lips down his neck; nibbling and whispering in his ear. A smirk lay across Adam's face, mouthing words Briar could only theorize were sweet and sexy.
It was the look on his face that got her. That same look had gotten to her so many years ago, the same one he had the day she hopped on his bike and left her old life behind. She froze, her heart stopping dead in its tracks. Her heart broke and like a long forgotten glass figurine; shattered on the dance floor.
How dare he do this to her! Everyone, most everyone, at this party knew she was his girlfriend! Yet here he was, feeling up some random woman when she was in the same room! That was it! Briar had had enough! She was done with this child in a man's body. After all those years he had not done anything for her and she had given up so much to be by his side. Well, that was over. It ended now. Hands curling into fists she tore through the crowd, straight for the DJ and Adam. The crowd parted for her with only a few dancers straying into her path. They soon moved. The music still blared, a new beat pumping out faster than the last making everyone in the room's blood hotter. Reaching the DJ booth, she pushed the large speaker nestled near the spin table. It wobbled a moment, then fell forward nearly hitting the couple in the corner.
Adam looked up, his eyes growing wide as he saw the large black box soaring downwards towards him. Panicking for a moment, he threw himself from the girl he had spent most of the night feeling up. With a crash it slammed into the floor, shattering with an ear splitting screech of burst mechanics right at the feet of Adam's new conquest. She screamed, throwing her hands to her face as Adam picked himself from the floor; looking up just in time to see Briar walking out the door.
His face contorted into a snarl, and he quickly noticed the stares of the everyone in the party. Now that there was no music playing to distract them the crowd had taken to watching the little drama playing out before them. Growling in disgust and embarrassment, he took after her. The door slammed twice before shutting as he pushed his way outside. Shrugging as the drama left their sight, the party goers began to crowd the DJ, hoping for him to once more spin some tune to make them forget themselves.
Gravel crunched under his boots as he tore across the driveway towards Briar. She was sitting in their small beat up car, pulling out her keys to leave when Adam reached their parking spot.
"What the fuck is your problem?" he yelled, slamming his hands on the car hood.
"What is my problem? MY problem?" she yelled back. "How about you exchanging saliva with someone else tonight? Huh?"
"I am a ROCK STAR Bri!" he ran one hand through his hair, pissed that she seemingly did not know this unwritten rule. "That's what they do!"
"Fuck that Adam! I can not believe you think that bullshit excuse will work! You have embarrassed me for the last fucking time...." Suddenly her voice grew flat and distant. " I am going back to the apartment. Find your own fucking way home." she started the car, shutting the door hard and fast. " I am sure a rock star like you can manage that." At this she peeled off into the night. Adam stepped behind the car, yelling something she could no longer hear. Tearing into the night, Briar decided that she desperately needed some sleep.