I sat in library to read peacefully for my upcoming semester. I was analysing different books and internet for long time. i felt sudden tiredness and numb. Maybe because i was long working, i thought to myself. So i started to walk classroom to libary and library to cafeteria , from cafeteria to library again. shit!my pain actually got increased. I feel i couldn't concentrate more on it. I managed to keep all the books on shelf accordingly and surfed the internet random. I feel weak from top to bottom and had abdominal cramps.
Fine. I need to go restroom to find out.
"meera", omg dinesh. I lied down on the table pretended to sleep, so that he will go soon.
I could feel that he sat near me and studying my face. How could i be stubborn without showing any reaction on face. I am not that good at it but still, i tried to be calm as sleeping by keeping my hands wrapped on my abdomen.
"you are bad at acting", he kept his hands on my shoulder while i was sleeping, no, pretended to be sleeping on table. Maybe i am acting but, what i need now is peaceful sleep. My eyes begs me to close and my body responded to it.
"meera?", i just heard his voice low while i had sound sleep. Something woke me up, i really need to go restroom. He still beside me doing some mathematical work .currently, i am not bothered about anything. I stood slowly and carefully,
"meeraaa?", he said.
"urgent, two minutes", i said almost in stern voice and he kept his face curious.
As expected i got my periods. i dont know whether sun arrives on time, but my periods arrives exactly after 28 days. I go wavy and moody on those days. Actually i hate myself on that days, my mind easily heat up and i behave like stupid meera. I wondered who is going to suffer this month. As i walked towards library, i noticed dinesh watching my unusual walk and behaviour. I managed to smile and my mobile beeped from my table. He took it curiously to see and i grabbed from him. its my mensural remainder. I switched it off and kept inside my backpack. He still looked at me with no clue and he started to work on mathematics. I felt numb and tired. I dont feel pain and tired on every period, it's rare and occasional.
"are you okay?"
"i think.", i said by yawning.
"meera, come with me", he stood up and analysed me again.
"where?"
"just shut up and come.",
How rude he is. I just sat on the same place to irritate him as i got irritated.
"shall we go to cafeteria? I am hungry. I don't eat without company", his soft voice this time made me to obey.
I smiled and moved with him. he got two burgers and chocolate milkshakes.
again, he looked at me concerned "meera, are you in diet?".
"why should i? Look at me i am already thin",
"then why the hell aren't you eating properly. ", almost in rough voice.
"excuse me..... i ate just now. I came only for you", i lied and wondered how he know i didn't eat from morning.
"more than your words, your eyes conveyed me everything. Eat now, lets argue later".
I forget about eating since i was busy in some work. i ate tummy full and felt better.
"tell me about your family?"
"my family ? itsis sooooo big. Three generation of people live together with relations on neighbouring home.i have two brothers , nitin and asher. Mom is strict and dad is little lenient .", i finished with little information.
"you are blessed. Right?"
I was shocked. my granny aged 90 is my home is like cctv camera. She knows whatever happens in home from the place where she is. No one listens to her as she constantly blabber. Boys of my age dare to speak with me as i got two brothers and panchayat raj father. My mom treat me like a treasure, never allows me anywhere and keeps me away from everything. Relations tried to stop me from reading in banglore but my dad supported. Everyday passes with hurdle in thirunelveli but he finds it blessing.
"no,why you feel like that?", i questioned.
"because i know how it feel like to be alone. I am the only child and I hate people when they fake relationships. Love and care are special. The speciality of it knows when we starve for it and i am starving. My parents are busy with their busy schedule from my childhood. even they are known to be top business people, I didn't get my mom and dad love. My friends and football are my everything and diversion. We were in America until my schooling,they joined me in hostel and now college in india, again hostel", he ended in a sad tone with almost escaping tears. I wondered how long he had all this with him. i sat there without knowing what to do.
We had a meaningful silence. I never thought this rock man have problem in his life.
"are you been in relationship?", words slipped from my mouth.
He just smiled and nodded no. "when we fail in small steps, we afraid to take great leaps".
He recovered himself in sometime and punched on my shoulder. "ouch, what?"
"i never share my sad things with any person. But you......
As i said you are different in my life".", he said and i had a little delight in my heart.
"we are actually facing different extremes. You are lonely and i am surrounded by more lovable people. Something more than normal is also a problem", i said and he looked at me different. I thought to explain him much.
"i mean, upto 12th. Whatever i do my parents got to know somehow. They mostly keep me in home since my dad is a famous panchayat raj. They consider their prestige and asset as girls. a family's well being is defined by their family girl members. My recreation on leave days will be indoor games and books . one day, my brother introduced me badminton. We play at times in my room. We follow more false beliefs and superstitions without knowing the exact reason just for society. As i grow up, i got to know the world slowly and the village that remained same. Little little things started to bother me. my mindset is exactly different from the place where i am. I started to apply colleges on different states. My relations and parents wanted me to study in local college in thirunelveli but i almost begged, pleaded for many months and made my father to accept. I love my parents more and they love me too but, i hate the things that they do to establish.",as i tell my eyes welled up and i felt sudden relief as i shared it with someone. My cheeks are reddened as i controlled tears and i felt numb.
"i am sorry, i never thought all this..."he raised his eyebrow in concern and touched my hand to console. But, i took my hand in a lightening speed before i could process. What is just happened? Only one thing i sensed is the burning sensation in my hand when he touched me.
He looked at me different and i kept my gaze lower. I don't want him to know my weakness anytime but i couldn't hide it longer. I hate when his eyes look at me sharp and keen. I am fully aware that his full concentration on me and i became red cheeked soon. . God! Save me from this gorgeous man.
He smiled at my state and i squirmed.